IR On TV vs Real-Life Issues

:idea: Feedback on this please.
Interracial romance now the norm on TV, but real-life issues are ignored

By MELANIE McFARLAND
P-I TELEVISION CRITIC

On a recent Tuesday I arrived home from work to the announcement, according to my husband, Dave, that we were on television.

He was watching his favorite guilty pleasure, "Supernatural" (aka "Simon & Simon" with demons and heavy metal) and there, in bed, were Dean (Jensen Ackles) and his black ex-girlfriend, Cassie. The lovers were brought back together in Missouri to battle a ghost truck possessed by the soul of a crazed good ol' boy.

I will pause for a moment to acknowledge the inanity of this plot. Hoo! Stupid!

Ultimately, the killer truck is not important here. What he found remarkable was that an African American woman and a standard-issue actor from The Wonder Bread network were between the sheets, kissing. It was no big deal.

In our living room, however, it's a very big deal. Every family wants to see reflections of itself on television. So to us, the recent flood of interracial couples going about their business has been refreshing.

"Supernatural" gets points for accelerating this unspoken movement. With this tale, The WB series joined the ranks of "Grey's Anatomy," "Lost," "My Name Is Earl," "Veronica Mars" and "ER," all of which have major characters engaged in cross-cultural romances. The pairings themselves play almost no role in the story line. He's black, she's white, or vice versa, or black and Asian -- whatever the combination, no other character thinks anything of it.

Dave and I keep our eyes peeled for the growing number of mixed couples in commercials, too. A favorite is the one with a black woman asking her white significant other whether he wants the flavorless chicken dish or the package of (yawn) beef. That's how you know you're part of America's Sea of Average -- television, great normalizing force that it is, makes your historically taboo marriage look as boring as everyone else's.

That said, we're nothing like "Earl's" Darnell the Crab Man and Joy, thank God, or "Grey's" uptight duo Cristina Yang and Preston Burke. Keith Mars and Alicia Fennel's love affair on "Veronica Mars" is more like it, on a good day. The two of us can only hope to have the kind of connection that telegraphs hope if we were ever to be separated, like Rose's link with Bernard on "Lost."

And when you think about Bernard and Rose's neighbors on that island -- a junkie, a con man and an ex-Nigerian crime lord among them -- those two are dull as toast in comparison.

Love it.

Television's acknowledgement of interracial courtship is nothing new, of course. Capt. Kirk and Uhura shared TV's first interracial kiss on "Star Trek" way back the '60s. But the underlying message was, "If I have to kiss you to save my ship and crew, by God, I'll do it."

The '70s gave us Tom and Helen Willis on "The Jeffersons," a white man married to a black woman and George Jefferson's favorite punch lines. Much later, "A Different World" included a story line about a black female student dating a white guy but it ended after viewers complained to the producers.

So before and during the 13 years that Dave and I have been together, the message we've gotten from television has subtly mimicked the opinion of the real world, that couples like us aren't destined to make it.

No series that I can recall explicitly said as much, but what are we supposed to think when "Ally McBeal's" luckless-in-love attorney had a shot at bliss with a black doctor ... and he disappeared as soon as she decided to go for it?

Only a couple of years ago on "Sex and the City," Miranda hit it off with a character played by Blair Underwood, only to drop him cold when her old flame Steve came back on the scene. That, perhaps, was excusable given the Steve-Miranda history. The series took a more head-on approach when Samantha tried to date a black man, who was pressured by his sister to keep his distance.

But the hook-up that got the most attention was Dr. Benton's affair with Dr. Corday on "ER"; which Eriq LaSalle, the actor who played Peter Benton, requested be unplugged. Ultimately I understood why LaSalle did it; black women, he observed at the time, have a hard enough time getting fairly portrayed on television as it is. And he didn't want to perpetuate the image of a successful black man passing over black women to be with a white one.

That sore point is central to "Something New," a romantic comedy currently in theaters, about a tightly wound professional black woman (Sanaa Lathan) overcoming her reservations about dating her white landscaper (Simon Baker).

A character in the film quotes the statistic that some 42.4 percent of black women have never been married, and the reason is that most IBMs, ideal black men, are hooking up with white women. From there the film takes on nagging issues about dating someone of a different race in a way that television has yet to do.

Yes, the glaring flaw in not discussing television's interracial relationships is that keeping quiet won't smooth the way to a future free of racial strife. Even as we celebrate this step forward, I can't help but notice what we're not seeing.

According to census statistics from 2000, black men are 2.82 times more likely to date outside their race than black women. Yet on television, you're more likely to see a black woman with a white guy -- think Aisha Tyler's Charlie with Ross on "Friends" -- or a black man with another minority woman. It seems hang-ups about seeing black men and white women together in prime time still exist.

And understanding that everywhere ain't here, I wonder how all of this plays in some parts of the country. Yang and Burke are in Seattle, where they wouldn't attract much notice. If the two doctors were on "ER," they'd be likely to encounter harsh glares as they walked through Chicago's neighborhoods.

Nor can I help but think of two of television's other well-known interracial couples: Keith and David, of HBO's late "Six Feet Under," and Bette and Tina on Showtime's "The L Word." Though their relationships were fraught with difficulties, both pairings were (and are) raw, true depictions of the challenges faced by people who commit to one another when society is aligned against such a union.

Since they are gay, such honesty is relegated to the distant realm of premium cable. "Will & Grace" has been on NBC for eight seasons, and it was only last week that Will (Eric McCormack) got to lock lips in his first serious kiss -- with a character played by Taye Diggs. Gay couples on commercial television are where interracial couples were about 15 years ago. They have a long, frustrating way to go before they get to see a couple that looks like them in some commercial, struggling not to be bored with their dinner choices.

There's a sweetness implied in television images of mundane living. We saw that when Bernard and Rose reunited after so long -- they kissed, of course, but their embrace said so much more. It spoke of a lifetime of devotion, of obstacles overcome, of simple contact as a sign of joining forces, come what may.

Every couple wants the world to see them like that.

 

This is a very interesting article.
Thanks for posting it, Nobledruali.

While I see her point about how not addressing the under-lying issues of IR relationships is not reflecting the reality that most IR couple face in day to day life, part of me does feel that may be a good thing.

Perhaps if IR relationships are portrayed on television (and in movies) as being very ordinary and nothing special, then society might stop making a big deal of it also. Why can't television and the movies set an example (for once!)? Instead of art imitating life... perhaps life could end up imitating art?

 

True PearlGirl and I especially like her point about not seeing what you see MORE OF in real life with black men & white women. But I'm biased so of course I'd feel that way but it was good to read about it coming from a black woman. :wink:

 

I'm gonna echo what PearlGirl said to some extent on this. You can say that the issues of black men and white women being together on screen have been cut out of the films/shows we watch on prime time TV today, but what about a few years ago, when shows like Boston Public, The Practice, and Law and Order, were always addressing racial issues near the end of every season of their shows? Nowadays, shows like Cold Case have been doing that, (not sure if that show is still solving racial conspiracies right now, since I hardly ever watch TV to begin with) and My Name is Earl did it in one particular episode with a more comedic twist to it.

These particular episodes on the shows mentioned above never really did anything to quell all the racial tension that still exists out there within our society, but it DOES SEEM TO ME that these new shows such as Grey's Anatomy, and Lost are doing a much better job of 'reaching people' so to speak. If these new shows keep portraying the Interracial Couple characters in a more subtle and mundane light, then wouldn't you agree that since people in general are so influenced by the American media, it will inspire people to have a more optimistic outlook on IR, especially when it's whitewomenblackmen.com style? :wink:

 

:idea: Well said SG. :wink:

 

This article, despite the fact that it was written by a black female, is one of the most well-researched, well thought, compound, explicit and balanced pieces i have read in a long while. I, as a young man who dates both within and outside his race, fully support black female/white male unions if and when done for, by and with the right motives. I am in support of all interracial relationships if the individuals are happy.

I must say that television shows are a great way to kick back and put yourself in the TV personality's position, although TV as you guys provides us some of the most skewed views on interracial relationships despite their relative attempt to "reach out"(see Grey's Anatomy, Veronica Mars and pretty much any of those cheesy date shows on MTV).

Similar to the author "Melanie" and her man, myself and my lady go through our "TV moments". In case you're wondering what the hell i am talking about here, i'd tell you. One of my favorite shows on TV is "Scrubs" and Donald Faison with Judy Reyes as Carla Espinosa, his Latina[Dominican] girlfriend, later wife. And those two make such a wonderful couple and remind us so much of, well, us :lol:. Except that we're much younger and better looking. 8) Similarly, certain scenes in the movies Hitch, Road Trip, Underclassman(keep that a secret :lol: ), Four Brothers just get me, well, hot. And the sight of Kobe Bryant with his sizzling hot wife Vanessa and cute daughter is inexplicable. Eva Longoria and Tony Parker make another beautiful Black Man/Latina couple. You get the point.

For argument's sake, let's assume that these couples, both real and fictional, are just like another couple. It makes no big deal that they have cultural and perhaps racial differences. To me, it's a bit of both. It makes no difference to me seeing as i see people for who they are; people. On the other hand, it makes a big deal to me because there is something in my heart that jumps up and yells "Thank God!!! Finally" that we are getting recognised on television.

I have to say, though, that despite the as-of-late attempts to couple black men with non-black women positively, there's still a lot more to be desired when pitting with white women. It seems like TV directors and movie producers are ready to compromise anything but black men/white women relationships. Their most prominent alternative is seek for an exotic looking Latina [read Eva Mendes or occasionally Roselyn Sanchez] to play that "compromise" role. Hell, they'd cast Asian ladies with black men - Love it or hate it, Cristina Yang and Preston Burke are the hottest couple on TV shows as of now-. They'd do all that and more but cast a white woman with a black man. Now understandably, they do not want to offend some viewers who'd be turned off by such casting and may decide not to tune in but i believe that audiences are not as bigoted as these producers and directors seem to think. I do understand that a large number of viewers from Red States might not want to see such "race-mixing" but it's on them. And besides, these producers wand controversy, something to get people talking and the gossip and tabloid will help them do just that. Remember when Preston and Cristina first fell in love and shared their first kiss? Do you remember how much talk ensued from tabloids, gossip magazines, talk shows, gossip sites? I do not even need to remind you guys of the fact that Grey's Anatomy ratings have increased since then making it, at one point, the most watched TV show, alongside Desperate Housewives.

For many people who make judgements based on what they see on television(that is, most Americans :lol: ), they might assume that IR is as it is portrayed on TV. When black men are to date women on TV, there is a fair chance that he'd be pit with a Latina, Asian woman or once in a while, a black woman. They rarely or almost never cast a white woman with him. This is despite the fact that there are more BM/WW couples than BM/LW/AW couples all put together. It amazes me when i realise that myself and Eva are one of just about 379,000 black man/Latina couples in the United States. Yet, if one were to make assumptions stemming from TV viewing, he'd probably predict higher. They have got to work on that a lot more.

But you all know they have no problems casting a white man with pretty much any ethnicity of women. And the same applies to real life. White men have no problems getting any women they want, without any strife. I have many white male friends and so i can tell you this truthfully from personal conversations. Many a time do i hear white men put Asian and Latin women on sexual pedestals over white women, consciously and intentionally. I know of many white men who say time and time again that they'd rather be with an Asian woman or Latin woman because they're much more feminine Notice the irony of the fact that white women are supposedly more feminine than black women, but now the tables have turned and it's Asian women who are now the most womanly. Incredible!!!

In my opinion, perhaps towards reaching out to young and minority people, ethnics have been given a positive light on TV, at least lately. Do not get me wrong, i am not saying that Tyronne, Andre, Shaniqua, Jose and DeShawn are not the #1 options when it comes to portraying gangsters, pimps, drug dealers and violent, uncouth individuals (as though whites are completely pure) but it seems like some TV producers are starting to realize that all audience is good audience which equals money. Therefore, you cannot alientate them. On TV and in movies, there is so much diversity and positive portrayal of blacks and other minorities(sometimes at the expense of white characters, i must add). Taye Diggs is often the good guy in countless TV shows. Will Smith almost always plays the intelligent, savvy, and undeniably hot inspector/agent whom everyone relies on. Denzel Washington never falls short of at least a 3.5/5 performance in all of his movies. You have men like Dennis Haybert, Taye Diggs, Isaiah Washington and other black stars taking superior roles which is all good but a lot of work still needs to be done.

 

A black woman created and writes Grey's anatomy.

 

8) Good "article" yourself there LC. I agree with about 95% of what you said and I still say that they (TV Moguls) are afraid to portray BM/WW romances or BLACK-ON-BLACK romances for that matter :!:

 

Interesting..............

 

:? Yeah I heard that there's all kinds of DRAMA behind the scenes & on the set too. :wink:

 

Oh, i could imagine :lol: :lol: Recently, there were rumors that Isiah Washington put the smackdown on Patrick Dempsey on set. :lol:

 

The creator's name is Shondra Rhimes. Don't know much about her, but when people heard that it was a black woman, everybody but me was surprised. From the first episode, I knew the show would be a hit. It's well written, has a great cast and appeals to practically all ethnicities in some way.

As for Washington and Dempsey's backstage romp(s), that may have something to do with the fact that Isaiah was in the running for the coveted "Dr. McDreamy" role and it ended up going to Dempsey, who I've like as an actor for years. Remember, this probably happens in Hollywood all the time. A show becomes successful and certain actors want more deserved recognition than others. But I think Isaiah's ego is just bruised. He'll get over it in time. Of course, it doesn't hurt to have 1 on 1 scenes with Sandra Oh.(LOL)

Finally, with respect to the title article, as much as IR romance is becoming more common, the ugly politics of it still seem to be ignored. But at least it's being done like never before! Sure, BM/WW IR still is ignored, but that's because of the negative history. Hollywood's slowly working up to it by pitting Black men with white/asian women(Kristin Kreuk types). Eventually, when the cynicism surrounding it dies, they'll do BM/WW. Actually, on "Law and Order" this season, Jesse L. Martin's Det. Greene got a new young, WHITE female partner on the show. Although no sparks will fly, it's another sign of things to come.

 

And now it's come out that Bro Isiah has made some ANTI GAY :? remarks that've put him in some hot water.