Is a WW Racist Because She Refuses To Date BM?

You said that it was a 'great study it the contrasts of forms of racism', and that implies that you are studying racism.

 

nope, it is an American saying, "a study in contrast" or a look at the differences

 

OK. Still, looking at the differences in racism, is still a way of studying racism.

 

Yeah, pretty much.

I don't think that a white woman refusing to date black men is "racist" in any meaningful sense of the word. If they're not attracted to black men (which is the case with most white women), then why would they even consider dating one?

You know, I used to read another race related forum and on a number of occasions white women posters related stories about being called "racist" by black men because they rejected these men's advances. Honestly, up until now, I really doubted these stories: I found it hard to believe that guys would be so lame as to pull the race card after being rejected by a woman. But damn, after reading some of the posts in this thread, those stories seem very plausible. Oh well.

 

I have experienced this personally so it is NOT lame. My ex of 3 years Kristen (yea I know you all are sick of hearing about her LOL) broke up with me for many reasons and one was she realized she wasn't attracted to black guys? WOW after 3 years you realize you cannot spend the rest of your life with a black man (not just the lack of attraction but also all the troubles that come from family and being out in the streets in an IR relationship)? But anyways...women have been known to give a guy a chance that they are not THAT attracted to because of his personality or vice versa.

What do you call it when a white woman gets along with a black man and loves his charm and personality and even finds him a little attractive but refuses to date him because of the color of his skin? Think has not happened? Well guess what...it has...to ME! My ex said it to me. Then when I asked her, WHY do you not date him if he is attractive and charming, she cannot explain or says some bullshit about she just "isn't into black guys now shut up and leave me alone!!?!??? Well if he was white and you found him attractive and charming you would date him right, she goes yes. Hmmm...WOW! So in both cases the guy is attractive and charming but if he white you date him, if he is black you do not. She has told me she can find black men attractive (she thus pointed out guys like Usher and Nick Cannon and myself), but she said she can not marry them or have mixed babies (she finds them ugly). If that is not racist I do not know what IS??????

 

WHY are they not attracted to black men? Its okay not to be attracted to someone because they physically just don't "do it for you." But some of these WW....end up with WM who just are not that good looking. I guess its true..that girls want guys who remind them of their fathers....but dang.

I think its about 60/40 or 65/35 in terms of WW who are attracted to BM. But of that majority who find at least some BM attractive...only a fraction would ever date a BM and still a smaller fraction of that would have children with one.....I won't even comment on marriage. Many WW who refuse BM don't do it because of a lack of attraction....its usually more a culture issue.....not so much race. A lot of the "average WW types" would go for a brotha if they could find one they had something in common with.

Basically you've got seven types of WW when it comes to their outlook on dating IR...more specifically a BM which causes the most problems for them.

INDEPENDENT LADY: She'll date whomever she chooses...similar to many women in this forum....may not marry a brotha....but would if the spark was there.....they date across the spectrum and love MEN, not black men, not Asian men....just MEN.

SORORITY GIRL: Very attractive...cordial...and always looks like a million bucks...she thinks of her body as lake-front property....if the wrong people "move into the neighborhood" her value will drop for perspective buyers in the future. She would never be seen alone with a BM...but there will always be one guy that she'll regret letting get away. They often have deep feelings for one or two BM but in general don't pay much attention to the average Joe.....will be friends with brothas though.

STARVIN' MARVIN: This type is attracted to many types of men but mainly BM and WM....she ignores her feelings for BM....this starts early and continues even after she gets married to a WM that she cares for. She goes from liking BM...to finding them irresistible...but the sanctity of her vows must be upheld so she doesn't stray....these women often end up in cuckold relationships. If she has more respect and doesn't go cuckold..than she'll be content until something comes up like a divorce....at this point she is like a nomad who hasn't had water in a couple of days...get out of the way..she will mount any BM who comes her way.

STATUS QUO GIRL: She will have BM friends...not close ones mind you....and her demeanor makes it hard to tell if she is interested in BM or not....the kind of girl who doesn't get hit on by BM much...and if she is goes into a mild shock...will marry a frumpy, "average" WM with no hesitations even if Will Smith divorced Jada and proposed to her.

IF YA' CAN'T RUN AWAY FROM THEM... RUN TO THEM GIRL: The girl who is blessed with certain natural attributes that make her fawned after by many BM. She has more "overhead capacity" and "trunk space" than average....she doesn't dislike BM but never envisions herself with one. Her looks get her ostracized by the typical WM and WW alike....she realizes that there are many BM who appreciate her looks and in turn the other qualities she has to offer...so instead of chasing after Tommy she turns to Tyrone.

THE I JUST LOVE BROTHAS TYPE: She always has and always will like black guys...when she was little..they were the ones whom she played with and teased...it was always a normal thing for her...she never was into other types of men the same way she's into BM. She tries WM, LM, and maybe AM but none do the job for her.

WOUNDED ANIMAL: see Ugly Duckling...don't have to explain this one.

 

I'm not trying to be insulting, but maybe she just wasnt very attracted to you physically. Maybe she thought that your charm and personality could overcome her lack of sexual attraction, but realized later that this wasn't happening. Even if she did find you at least somewhat attractive, maybe she found white guys a lot MORE appealing.

Further, you mention that she thought mixed babies were ugly. That is enough reason in itself for a woman not to want to marry interracially! Some people think mixed babies are cute, some people think they're ugly. Nobody really has a choice in this, as aesthetic judgements are mostly made by our unconscious mind.

 

man chosen, you are very good in this topic!!

i guess I have only had the Independent women, though I wish I had the last type sometimes

 

Dude, it sounds like this girl just wasn't into you and race was only part of it. If a woman is really into you and you're into her, she will make the relationship happen. Her telling you that she "isn't into black guys now shut up and leave me alone!"...I mean, wow, do you really need a bigger hint that there's no chemistry there?

 

Pkd, i agree with you but what she said was also racist. If thats not racist then what does she have to say that is?

If I said, get away from me I dont hire black men at my company, what would that mean? that I was just a ncie guy who didnt want to be bothered? NO, I would be considered a bigot and might get a lawsuit.

 

I didn't date a bm until recently because i never really met any. In school there were only three black boys in my year of 170 pupils. I never really considered dating black men until i met this one guy and fell in love. I think people on the whole stick with what they know. I don't think this is racist in itself.

 

I guess it might be racist in the strict, dictionary sense of the word, but I don't think that it makes her a bigot. Black men on this forum have stated that they don't find BW or other races of women attractive at all. Does that make them "racist" (with all the nasty connotation that the word commonly carries) or bigoted? I don't think so. Some people are just not attracted to people of certain races. I don't think that should be held against them.

Come on, man, you can't compare discrimination in employment to something as intimate and personal as someone's romantic preferences. Some WW won't date redheads. Are they "bigots?"

 

It seems, the only people making any sense regarding this topic are sengo and pkd. The logic escapes and hypocrisy runs deep with some the members here.

One might want the individual right to date WW, but you want to strip the individual right for WW to chose to date you by retorting to racist underlings. Fairness demands and common sense dictates we admit something: WW collectively will choose to date WM before BM and she may only want to date and/or marry WM. These individual rights are always paramount, to denounce such is paradoxically hypocritical, cynical and utterly asinine.

I am not for this stupidity, because those whom make this claim haven't the slight respect for others individual rights -- except those of themselves. It is a shame those can not equip themselves to see through their own fallacies.

 

racism is racism, whether it is in the workplace or in personal life. what, does someone have to be at work in order to committ an act of racism?

I see now why i dont support reparations, we cant even define what racism, how can we point out who is responsible for what happened to us. One black persons can make up what is racism and the other black person can say, no thats not racism.

its not racism if one is not interested in their own race, it is racism when we see the others races as not equal to us.

what other type of racism but the defined one? or do we make it up individually as we go along

 

Cressida, true, it is not racist if there are no other people but the same type around you.

but if we believe in racial equality then in a pluralistic society where there are many different races, i dont know how someone doesnt consider someone from another race.

in the US, people use the "stick to your own kind" term to support segregation of the races, so those who believe in integration of the races see seperation as racism.

but in your case it is not racism

 

Like I said, having romantic/sexual preferences that are racially discriminatory may fall under the dictionary definition of racism, but, bottom line, I don't consider it immoral.

Forget about "racism," as that's a pretty loaded term. Do you consider it wrong or immoral for someone not to be attracted to other races?

 

Me and her had chemistry for three years. We had chemistry when I was fucking the shit out of her every night. Then all of a sudden one day she wakes up and realizes she cannot spend the rest of her life with someone she CLAIMS to love and uses my skin color as an excuse? Try loving someone with every fiber of your being and knowing you cannot live one more day, much less the rest of your life without them in your life and have them up and tell you after 3 great years that because you are black, "I changed my mind...I need to marry a white guy and have kids with blonde hair or my parents and society will not accept me."

I am glad I am done with her racist ass. She was racist when I met her and is just as racist now. She told me she loved me and wanted to be with me and I believed her and thought she changed and I see now she never changed and was racist all along, just using me for my big dick and the fact that I was the only guy to treat her right. The sad part is neither one of us has lasted more than a few months with anyone else since we broke up. She complains to me all the time how the white guys she dates now are all "players" and how I spoiled her and how no guy treats her the way I did.....

Well then WHY did you throw him away???? Oh Cuz he's black....Don't get me started, I'm already heated.....

Yea That's Her...The Racist BITCH!!!!! Don't let the beauty and innocent smile fool ya...she's a southern country devil....

 

pkd: yes, i think it is racist to take a whole race of people who dont all look alike and just say, I am not attracted to all black people or to all white people. one cant find anything good or attractive about someone who is different looking than themselves?

take black people instance: we come in all colors, shapes and sizes. some of us are as white as white people(you cant even tell and some of them Pass/live as whites) we come in caramel, chocolate and dark chocolate, and deep dark chocolate. to see all people as unattractive when one hasnt seen all black people yes is to me racist

 

Exactly Tucker reed. And these white girls I talk to who say they do not believe in IR relationships but say they are not racist because they listen to Kanye West CD's and have 3 black friends are hypocrites and a joke!

 

exactly, Peyback! if a Nazi reads a book written by a Jewish or black person, and buys cigarettes from a store own by Jews doesnt make him any less of a Nazi or racist