Last Name and Looks

Where I'm from there's a big responsibility placed on a man to continue the family name. I don't know about y'all, but I can admit that one reason (but not the only) why I've always wanted to marry a sister is so my kids will look like me. I know multi-racial kids can look like their fathers, but I'd like to hear people say, "He (my son) looks just like his daddy! ... " or "He looks just like your father (my dad)." some day. You know a striking resemblance. I know that made me feel good, when I heard anybody say that about me or to me. So I don't think that all white men who want their kids to marry another white person are prejudice, if that's the case. What do you think?

 

I don't think I've read anywhere on this site that white people who'll choose their own race are racist, prejudice, bigots or anything. I for one don't believe that anymore than I believe people who'll date, marry and have babies with another race are uncle Toms, sell outs, stupid, lost or anything along those lines.

If you want your kids to look like you that's fine.
I'm old enough to know that “mixed” race kids look like their parents too, so I'm not sure what the issue is there.

I will say that I get the feeling that you are trying to justify your reasons for wanting to marry a black woman when you really don't need to do that.

I respect you Bro.Justin but sometimes you seem very defensive to me. Almost like you may feel pressure to date outside of your race.

 

Coming from my perspective on this most mixed race children are perceived to have more resemblance towards whichever parent is black because people judge, unfortunately, right away by skin colour.

I know this lady who has a mixed race son she is raising alone and she is always asked "Where did you get him from?" At first glance it seems like no one knows that he is her biological son, yet if you look closely you can see the resemblance.

But I do think most white women with mixed children will encounter that question at some point.

A black father generally wouldn't get that because they fall into the same "category" so people would know right away they were his kids.

So I don't think that you would have to worry about whether your kids resemble you as much as a white woman like me, who has blond hair and green eyes, who most likely would never have a blond or green eyed child. That doesn't bother me at all that they wouldn't look as much like me, but I think in terms of resembling you, if you had a child with a white woman who was fair your kids would automatically be assumed to look more like you. And you would be way more likely to have that "striking resemblance" than she would.

 

Alotta folk say my kid looks like both me and my girl and she's mixed so you can't say that pure black or white kids are gonna look like any one parent either.

 

That's true Omaha....but I think it happens more often than not if the child is thought by the majoirty of the public to resemble one parent it will most likely the black father. That's just how I see it.

 

The looks of a possible child is pretty much the last thing I am thinking about when it comes to choosing a partner. In a matter of fact, I never thought about such a thing.

 

In a way, this topic practically justifies separatism/segregation, and the points you already made explain how. This thread seems pointless to me.

 

well usually the black race is more predominant any way. I know plenty of white women with kids fathered by black men, who are as dark as their dad and people ask the mom's whose kids are they? as if they must be babysitting or something..

If I had another child, I wouldn't care who the child looked like. I'd hope that she (I'd hope for a girl since I have none) was a mix between us both, drawing out the best qualities of both races.. but..all i'd really care about was that she would be healthy and have a happy environment to grow up in.

 

I know mixed kids can look like their fathers. I'm dark, so my thing is which would look more like me? A) Another dark version of me or B) A light version of me. That's all I'm saying.

As for feeling pressure I do. My mixed cousin was telling me since there were no decent women in my community I was in the wrong for not already dating a white girl.

 

What exactly was she getting at with this here?

 

She came down to visit and we were just catching up. It just came up in conversation. She asked me was I seeing somebody. I answered no, because I didn't want what my community had to offer, so I'm looking elsewhere. You know the pregnant, std, whorish and loudmouthed ones, because that's all that my age are in my community. I mean all, but anyways she asked me what I thought about a white girl. At that time I hadn't even considered them, so I told her I hadn't thought about it. I've always seen myself in the future married to a black woman. It's just something I've always pictured in my mind. It really didn't have anything to do with me or her being black. It's just mental picture. Does that make sense to you?

 

Well I guess it would have a little to do with her being black because you look for that one you see in your head.

I don't know.

 

It does to some extent, but the thing is, if you were to go into certain white communities, you will probably find girls within the same age group who are no better (STD carryin', whorish, loudmouthed, superficial, etc.) whether or not it's a suburb or a trailer park :lol:, so if you prefer black women, then what YOU NEED TO DO to find the right one who is unlike the ones that dwell within your community, is to go to another black community where the women will more than likely be different from the ones you described living in yours. Get me?


And, what is the point of posting in here altogether if you prefer black women anyway? Why can't you go to a site specifically for black folks interested in one another?

 

I've pretty much figured from life that there may or may not be other communities like mine - so that's irrelevant, because I'm sure not getting at any from mine.

And I get you if in fact this really has turned into a preference, but how can I know if haven't been with the other?

 

Well, you were talking about the ones in your community ONLY at first, and I hope your cousin isn't implying that a white girl is the best way to go, because of the kind of black women that live within your community.

You just do, Justin, in fact, based on what you've been saying, I think you do know about your preference for black women, but because you seem to have a tendency to care too much about what other people think, you feel the need to 'explore your options with all colors of women', so to speak, but that's not what you really want, now is it? If you really feel in your heart and mind that a sista is what's right for you, then surely enough, it is, and considering to date non-black women just because you don't want to be exclusive is an insecure and wishy-washy way of thinking, mainly because you are making that decision based on the assumptions and inputs of others and not deciding what you really want for yourself.

You don't have to be with a white women to know for sure what you prefer in a woman, as well as what color she is. If I were to also think of relationships the way that you do, then I would probably begin to lose my mind. I have already made the decision (as well as accepted) that white women are MY preference, and that is who I am, it will never change, nor do I expect it to, because it doesn't bother me, but what DOES bother me very much is the kind of people out there who would condemn my preference for white women because I am a young black man, despite their own individual preferences for someone of the same or different GENDER and COLOR :roll:, and I'm sure that the rest of the men in here can empathize with me on that note.

Just use your best judgment, and stop listening to what your cousin or anyone else who is just telling you what to do, have to say.

 

I really appreciate your open honesty Bro.Justin.
I don’t think you need to date outside of your race unless you want to do that based on either your attraction to one person or your preference for certain women.

If you know you want a black woman then again you should feel good about that. Indeed anyone should feel good about whomever they date.

I’ll just toss this out there for what it’s worth:
If you feel the need to date a white lady because you are just “testing the waters” to know what it is you like… I’ll just say that you may want to hold of on dating.
Dating should be about finding out about the person and not the race and if it’s a either / or thing you may miss seeing a great woman because you are focused on the race.
You may be too concerned with comparing one race against the other and I think you’ll short change both yourself and the person you are dating.

You seem really smart to me Bro.Justin and I like reading some of your post so I’m sure you’ll make all the right moves for you.

I hope it works out for you.

 

you couldn't have said it better sardonic and designer

 

can just say i would love kids with my fella, and wouldn't care if they looked like, me, or him or a mix of the two.

i look exactly like my mum, and i don't think my dad loves me any the less for it

if u did have kids and you loved their mother you wouldn't care what they looked like.

 

I hear you and Sardonic loud and clear. And I see what you're saying and I'm taking it into great consideration but I'm deliberating because I just don't want to have any regrets. Kind of like ...