looked for a great "match" and found a black man :)

well i just always figured i'd end up dating a WM--only because that was most likely! but i'm glad i'd always been taught that black was "just another shade of human" (idk if i stole that cheesy line from somewhere...) because the man of my dreams happens to be dark!

so yeah i met mike online. a facebook friend of his had messaged me to see if he (WM) had a chance, but he didnt....so he (WM) insisted that i check out his facebook friend (BM). long story short, mike met most of my criteria, so i agreed to officially date him 2 1/2 weeks ago

so here we are, a long-distance couple (USA to nigeria!) who've only known each other about a month...and we're totally crazy about each other :smt055 and yeah we're moving quickly...but due to the ocean between us, it's not like we can DO anything cept chat on yahoo....at least not for several months.

i'm really glad i came across this site, cus i've got a lot to learn about love in general, long distance love, international love, and loving a BM.

 

Hmm........please, be careful

Hi,

I'm glad you found someone who seems to make you happy.

But........er.........may I advise that you be very careful with those fellas from NIGERIA ??? They all seem to want only one thing, especially from a woman residing in the United States.

Be careful.

Cheers

 

I am glade to hear that you are happy with 'Mike' this far. Have you chatted on webcam or skype? I find it very important to "see" who it is on the other end of the computer when getting to know someone. This is just female to female advice here.

I have never known a guy to be rejected by a lady on facebook or a dating site and then offer up his friend instead????? Makes me a little nervous about your situation.

Unless ofcourse you have done the online dating thing before and know how to protect yourself and get a lot of background information about the guy you are getting to know.

 

Here we go again :rolleyes where is naija when you need him to show that there are other guys like him who are Nigerian and are decent guys?
Hmm wondering if she said the guy was from Jamaica or Trinidad & Tobago would people bring out the almighty green card issue? America's economy is booming so much with fantastic growth (like 2%) and a great debt (like 14.3 trillion) and fantastic "unemployment" opportunities so yes the almighty green card is the be all and end all.

 

same here.

 

some do the same to women in the uk, not all but some

 

You'd sell the rest of your teeth to live here, so shut the fuck up.

 

lippy wasn't thinking green card at all...with no disrepect to your nigerian man..please keep in mind that many of the money scams come out of nigeria...

very happy for you having met someone...please just protect yourself...

if at any time in the near futureyour man is traveling and manages to get stuck in another city because he lost his wallet and needs you to wire transfer him don't do it...if a member of the family has fallen ill and an immediate wire transfer of money is needed in a life or dealth matter...don't do it...many times the stories will pull/tug on your heart strings...you will want to help...but my advice would be to just offer your sympathic ear and prayers and no money

i hope everything is legit and you enjoy your new relationship:smt049

 

I'm not someone prone to judge others, but I think that you have to be very careful with any internet based relationship. While there may be very decent gentlemen in Nigeria, the reality is that this area is a hotbed of money schemes.

Apparently, these guys are very good at plying their trade and there have been numerous television stories, 20/20 and others, who have investigated money schemes that have caused people their life savings and even their lives.

The story seems to be similar, a man or woman is contacted, the person presents a personae too good to be true and moves fast to establish a relationship. Soon after the requests for money begin and just as quickly the person vanished once they have exhausted the bank account of the unsuspecting and lovelorn person.

One recent story comes to mind of a gentleman who lived on the East coast. He met who he thought was a wonderful "lady" online and eventually sent her all of his money. In the end, when the "lady" didn't arrive in the U.S. as was promised, he realized that he had been duped by her. As a result of his embarrassment and depression over the incident he took his own life.

His was the saddest story as it involved a loss of life and grieving relatives left to wonder how any person could be so cruel. The person in Nigeria had actually "stolen" pictures of an attractive lady from the internet and sent those to the gentlemen.

It's great to want love in your life, but don't be afraid to question anyone who seems to be good to be true, and who moves so quickly that your head is spinning. You can't depend on messages, telephone conversations or even Skpe calls, as all these things can be staged. Be very careful...

 

Beware of love scams please. If anyone starts to gain your trust really fast (or slow for that matter), asks you for money, etc., cut off all contact. I've seen it done many times.

 

REALLY? i mean living on Iceland, Russian Country-side or something like that i would try to understand the situation, but U.S? with tons of black guys around
Really? tell me this is a joke!

 

Nope.....

Nope, no joke, unfortunately.

As HellSpawn rightly said : it's been done SO MANY times.

Granted, it's not only people from Nigeria who are responsible. And, not all Nigerian people are like that (I happen to know a couple of rather decent folks from there)

But, the majority of these so-called "love-scams" do originate from there.

What amazes me is that, despite all the publicity that has been given to these internet scams, people are still GULLIBLE.

 

yes i'm aware of love scams, and i know that nigerians *tend* to take advantage of people. but not everyone matches stereotypes. only time will tell. at the moment, that's all mike and i have--time and God.

i know what it's like for a love interest to turn out to be a totally different person than he was at first. none of those cases ended in true heartbreak; they were long-distance too, so i'd never gotten to fully trust either of them.

i'd told mike early on that i won't be paying for him to come to the states. he never asked me anyway, tho we have discussed how he would come here.

yes we have chatted on webcam. we use facebook and yahoo chat a lot, and will set up our cams too, so i have actually "seen" him in real time.

so yes, i'm keeping my eyes open--or as open as i can, considering my emotions. i keep my parents in the loop, routinely ask people to pray for this relationship, and i do not ignore warnings from friends and family.

 

The only way to make sure he's not after a green card is for you to move to Nigeria instead of having him come to you. :smt051

 

Alarm bells.

Ringing.

Fast and loud.

 

Not green card, just a regular romance cash scam.
Holla appiah ease up, you know we ain't dissin you Ghanians, Naijas or anyone but read her story. It doesn't make sense,it's bait and switch oldest trick in the book. You know any man especially that side whO falls in true love in weeks? You know the way in the region generally, yes I know it's extremely diverse within each country but for an man that side with genuine long term commitment, it's often a slow burn not marriage talk in weeks, come on!

 

kini big deal?

Kini big deal? (What's the big deal?)

Nigerians are very expensive, my dear american woman. We date rich and successful american women. Our love does not come cheap, you know.So please before you date us, make sure your profit and loss columns have a triple A rating.

The key principles to observe before you date a Nigerian man and the more important ones that would lead to a successful relationship beyond meeting your debt obligations, are the following : making sure your mortgage is fully paid; making sure you have a good inheritance waiting , and enough money to pay all the taxes that might accrue; and making sure also that you have a good job that keeps the money rolling in. And one last thing, probably the most important, the green card.

We want to be able to be date you, and marry you quick, quick, so we can live in God's own country. Who no laik better thing? ( Who doesn't crave a good thing? )

American woman wants a better thing. Nigerian man wants a better thing. kini big deal? Please allow the romantics have some fresh air, I beg you guys.

 

Hah hah naija.. Good post.

I think we should let him close this one on that note.

 

Damn, patriotic American in da house!