Looks OR Personality vs. Looks AND Personality

for me personally it comes down to the person inside looks are irrelavent if i cant connect with someone i cant connect it doesnt come down to how they look

 

He has to be a beautiful person inside, and it will shine through. Then, if he's at least halfway decent-looking on the outside, we're good.

 

Well this is how it works for me:

The first thing I notice on a man are his looks. I mean character and personality you get to know through actions and conversation but before that can happen you usually see a person's look with your eyes - unless you're blind.
I have to admit that it's harder for a man I don't find that handsome to impress me with his inner self BUT he still gets a chance. All he has to do is be consequent and show me his personality.
Also men I feel attracted to I want to know on their insides as well. If one looks fine but turns out to be not smart or charismatic combined with a character I don't like his looks won't help him.

So to conclude that: To me the inside counts more even though the 1st thing I judge is a man's outter appearance

 

looks and personality but if i have to take one i would take personality

 

To be honest you can be average at best in everything, looks, personality, etc. But if you can help me build things. Like my business, I'll love you forever.

You have to have skills. Not be some trophy or some needy clingy stagnant leech of a woman.

But If you are smart, quick-witted, know a little about art or communications and have skills to help us both make money you're really the one.

 

Looks get you in the door with me, but personality keeps you there

 

It takes personality along with the looks will get a woman interested in a man.

 

Sadly men cant see a woman' personality. And even then its hard for me to end up with a woman who only has a good personality, I want one with looks and personality otherwise feels like I settled.

 

Some cute girls are fucking annoying. Those popular types that talk to goddamned loud about some bullshit.

The girls those popular types made fun of, (A nice regression to high school logic) are the girls who have the personality and who are fun to be around.

 

Personality is so much more important than looks. Someone you enjoy spending all your time with is going to make you notice the best and overlook the worst. Someone who annoys you all the time? All I see are the flaws, I can't help it. I've known gorgeous people with tiny flaws, and after a few minutes around them, all I can see are the flaws.

I lucked out and married a man who is take-your-breath-away gorgeous, but if his personality & intelligence wasn't what it is I'd have been bored long, long ago.

Mostly, tho, when you're talking about long-term love, you can't put too much weight on looks because it will not last forever. Obviously, you need an initial attraction but if there's nothing else there how will you stand each other when you're 85? There are people that age well, but let's be real: nobody looks good naked at 85. And what if you marry someone hawt and then they get into an accident or something?

Looks play a role, but a person's willingness to work with what they've got to attract you, a good attitude and some interesting conversation can make a beast into a beauty.

 

Well reading some of these comments i have got some work to do on both the looks and personality.

E

 

I am an average woman and I married an average man. I guess we both settled.

 

Well Personality good but finding a man with one that you like most times will never happen but find someone how you want to look can happen easy well i dont care what everyone may think but i will put first looks..

 

For me the look of a man isn´t important. He has to be taller than me and shouldn´t be overweighted.

A man becomes attractive to me with his character. Nothing is more sexy to me than self-confidence, a kind smile, creativity, Niveau, integrity...

I never felt an attraction for these typical handsome men.

I am in love with rough diamonds..when you treat them well,they are shining and sparkling one day that you nearly get blind...

 

With 50% of marriages ending in divorce, ,we obviously have not figured out what qualities matter most. Anyone who thinks that personality is what most young adults value most should be honest and admit that we are all shallow...we want hotties...and then wonder why none of our relationships never work out. Shared VALUES matter more than "personality" or looks.

 

I got fifty pounds left to lose.:mrgreen: Is that all it takes is a little self-preservation & being cultured?

 

We haven't figured out what matters most because, in the end, no one thing is key to a long, happy marriage. It takes so many different factors balancing out to keep a marriage happy over a long period of time, plus you have to add in outside factors as well...frankly I don't think there's any cut and dried method or one distinct thing that it takes to make a relationship work. It takes multiple things, which may vary from couple to couple because people are so vastly different in personality and opinion.


Some people can make it work with less personality than their partner would want. Some people can make it work with different kinds of looks than their partner wanted. Some people can make it work with values that don't always coincide with each other. Some people can make it work through anything, and the other half get divorced and try again later with someone else.

There's no pinpointing what matters more or most. Except that what matters most is that people stop putting so much weight on pieces of a person and instead make decisions for relationships based on the whole. And then allow room for change.

 

Agree. Shared values are important.

And yes don't we all want as hot as we can get to our ideal man / girl?

 

He can be average looking with a good personality and I will be happy.

 

right...
Its funny how a very handsome man can fade to be ugly as soon as he opens his mouth and prove he is a jerk (Im sure same goes for women).
Or the reverse, someone that is on the"plain" side, the more you get to know their beautifull personality, they become more and more beautiful in your eyes.
I think it is very closely connected.

Attitude also is connected to how you percieve someone.

Take my man for example, I didnt think he was particularly attractive when I first saw him - he looked intimidating and mean (Now I know that that is his "focused" look).
That all changed when he looked at me and smiled, his whole face light up and he became very beautiful.. his whole appearance changed.

I guess what Im trying to say is that when someone, even if they are very attractive, close themselves in and look unapproachable, somehow that beauty dissapears. Hence, personality and attitude trumphs looks every time.

Of course like mentioned, values are even more important.