my dream woman

that fight hard to keep a jawn shit aint happenin over here


women cum and they go

 

I would say it´s a combination of all opinions here. But I would interpret Blacktigers post as a never ending fight for love and one has to fight even more, when he found her, because of losing someone, who is deep in your heart.If you think that you found your love, you fight for a dream, but if you found that love, you fight for real love, you have something big to lose.

I can observe that many men give up too early. I am convinced that if two people feel attracted to each other, the man can have that woman, it´s just a question of his "bite".Out of my experience, many men come and they try..but they don´t convince me that it is important for them. It´s like a lax handshake. You feel that person for a moment, but it doesn´t really impress you that you would remember him. If he is not convinced himself, how can he convince me?

But if a man doesn´t fear to ridicule himself, interferes in my life and shows real interest- then I automatically open my eyes for him.

If you are in a relationship, it´s one of the biggest mistakes to be lazy and to take your love for granted. Of course she loves you, but nobody can remember for years, how it was sometimes. Everybody needs attention- and one can destroy the biggest love, if you don´t give it- remember there are other smart guys out there, too.

 

Right now I'm annoyed at BT for introducing this ridiculous notion into the thread. This is another reason men and women have such a hard getting along because we see things so differently. "Fighting" to keep her is such bullshit. It creates an image in women's mind of a man who acts with complete urgency at all times as if he slacks off for one second everything might crumble. Just because a guy isn't how he was when you first met him doesn't mean he doesn't love you it just mean your relationship is past all the lame insecurities, you actually know each other and feel comfortable congradulations. And Christine your weak handshake reference is also lame. You act as if you want a man to wear his eagerness to be with you openly or you want to give a hundred percent in the beginning or it comes across as lazy. Do you understand if a man acts all eager it comes across as desperate and you won't want him because that shit is some young weak shit.

I'm going to give you ladies the advice a lot of men won't give you and you're going to hate me for a bit but if you're honest and you let logic guide you on this you won't stay mad.
All you are is a talking vagina until proven otherwise. The men who make you out to be more before they even get to know you are usually insecure men who are so happy to have female interaction that they give you far more time and attention than you've earned.
People don't appreciate something until they've earned it. This goes for men too. You can't give us pussy too early or we can't resoect you on principal even if we want to. I'm not saying to play games and draw it out for months but personally if I get ass from a girl within the first two dates I can't respect her. Just like if a guy is willing to wine and dine you on the first date you can't respect him even if you appreciate it. Even if makes you feel wanted and attractive for a night something instinctual picks up on the desperation and tells you this person is a horrible choice for a mate unless you yourself isn't aware of your self worth and are a little desperate as well.

This fight for the relationship stuff is lame too. Putting in effort to stay interested fine but when you use terms like it implies an all out last ditch effort. Like "fighting" cancer, "fighting" the oppressive government, "fighting" for your life in court. But when it comes to relationships just be considerate and put some effort into it. Its like a plant, a cup of water each day is great to male it grow but everyday rain will drown that shit.

 

These are words to live by

These are words to live by. It goes to men as well as for women.

If the good times you had together fade away, bring the memories back to life, What made you happy once, will make you happy again, just don't let too much time to pass because you might forget what it was that made you happy in the first place.

 

I'll be honest, and no disrespect toward BT... but for a minute, I was too. But when taken into context as either A) a fawn statement more directed at the women or B) One of those things people say because it sounds good, it doesn't bother me so much.

Also, it was a statement left VERY open to interpretation that seemingly each poster interpreted differently. The only way to truly know how the poster intended for the statement to be taken is for him to come back and further elaborate.

At any rate, many posters have chimed in with valid points based on their own interpretations. Even pettyofficers sentiment can hold some water in the infancy stages of getting to know someone.

 

I think this is key here. My interpretation was nowhere near where Andrae's taken it, and not how Espy interpreted it either.

And why get annoyed about any topic being introduced? Discussion is always good, and it's not like this thread was going anywhere anyway.

 

You know Andrae- you and me are right and left...and between are billions of miles.

I know about the value of close people. The men I love can have everything from me and I love to enjoy them, as much as possible. But the same I expect from them. A man, who cannot appreciate that I am with him- I simply don't want. Why should I be with someone, who thinks it is the same, if he is now with me or with someone else? But I am very happy that there are plenty of men, who share my opinion.

BTW- it is not weak and it also doesn't look weak, if a man fights for a woman. He is just focused

If you understand it now or not- is at the end not important. It's just a discussion.

Thank you Andrae for your advice- but honestly said, as long as women are talking vaginas for you, excuse me, I am not interested in

 

I never said you shouldn't be with a man who doesn't appreciate you, that would be mad but you should be with someone who isn't so quick to give you there all without even knowing your worth it.

 

Ms. Dubois, you expressed my intentions perfectly. I did not realize just how much so many so their own interpretations into what i have said. I want all to know I respect and appreciate your thoughts whether agreed upon or not. I have found that understanding between two people is by far the most cherished thing that those in love must have to survive the relationship. I once overhead my wife tell her girlfriend that in us both we will grow old together because we have understanding and trust. I fought for my mate through her peers, her family, my family and friends. When i say fought i fought for the right to have her. When many tried to sway me away from my choice i fought to dispell myths, false notions, prejudices, racism, bigotry, mis-understandings and downright ignorance to have what I feel is for me and not in others. I'm not going to say more on this, but i want to leave you with this thought. Is it not worth the pain, the hard work to get someone in your life for a lifetime who is right for you? Thank you all for your input.

 

What ridiculous notion? BlackTiger is married. Whatever formula he believes, works for him. I interpreted what he said - as "working" for and working to keep what he has. All relationships take work.

Andrae, I'm sorry, you're acting like your opinions are gospel. You sound bitter. I also think you're not giving women any credit. We DO function differently, (Think: Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus), but that doesn't mean that we can't get along. I think a lot of women might not totally understand the inner workings of a mans brain, but on the surface, men are simple creatures. It's not rocket science. Maybe that comes with maturity and experience - where you start to understand the opposite sex. Some people do put on the extras when they're dating someone, so you meet them one way, and down the line, the real them emerges. Then you have some people who gradually open up as time goes on. Each person and each relationship is different. I know for me, I judge on a case by case basis.

Again, I think maturity plays into the wining and dining thing. If you're talking about showing your cards too early or wearing your heart on your sleeve type of thing, then I can understand, but if a man is confident and not acting too eager, he won't lose out just cause he courted a woman.

There are also some relationships where they fucked on the first night and are still going strong. This isn't an everyday occurrence, but they do exist. I think women know how they can possibly be perceived because of the double-standard. Then again, it depends on the man she sleeps with and however the situation arose.

 

I'm not bitter at all IB at least no more than other people and I think you have a decent grasp on how men are but I do notice a rising trend especially in this country where being whata man is naturally is considered bad by popular media and being everything a woman does is great. And that trickles down into how we act in relationships. For example I've read a lot of literature on the way a man is expected to act on a date but we are never to expect anything of women.
I guess I question the concept of love when it comes to men and women because every other relationship I have doesn't require me to "fight" it just requires me to be who I am and everything else falls into place. There isn't notions of being trained, its just come as I am and we're good to go.
I'm not saying we can't get along but I do notice a big trend of us getting along is being dishonest a lot.

 

That's actually not surprising to me Christine, Andrae's not the first man who has expressed that particular sentiment... albeit not so bluntly, it's usually more along the lines of 'a man doesn't actually know how he feels about a woman till he's had sex with her'. That in itself I think is part of the communication problem. If a man really doesn't know until after sex, and most women have to know how they feel before they're ready for sex, we're operating under two different sets of rules from the get go. I've heard the 'if I had known he wasn't really into me before I slept with him, I never would have slept with him' many times, and I suspect the male response would be 'but I couldn't tell if I was really into you until I slept with you'. No wonder people always bring up the 'communication is key' concept.

Ah but you see my dear, I know I'm worth it, and as long as I know my self-worth, whether you agree with me on that or not is really immaterial. My philosophy is to go into anything with no expectations, no preconceived notions of how I think it will work out. I'm never disappointed, but I'm often pleasantly surprised. Focus less on what's in it for me, and always looking towards the end game, and just enjoy the here and now, it makes life a lot less stressful and a whole lot more simple IMO.

Oh I am curious about one thing Andrae, if women are talking vaginas, how do you see yourself, or rather how do you think women see you? I'm gonna hazard a guess here and say you think women view you as a talking wallet? I'm not asking to be snippy with you, I really would like to know because you really can't fully put someone's opinion in context without knowing how they view themselves as well.

 

Maybe it was the tone of your post that made you sound bitter and then being irritated by what BlackTiger said.

Well, the media is going to spin whatever they want to spin and put out the leading topics and what have you, but all we can do is be ourselves and hope we attract like-minded people. I personally prefer men to be chivalrous and gentleman like, but I'm old school in my thinking.

 

"Do not try and bend the spoon - that's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth: ...there is no spoon. Then you will realize that it is not the spoon that bends - it is only yourself." - (The Matrix)
A woman is not a possession - she is a companion. Once this is known, we discover the fight is an internal one that we wage against those barriers to our own success and "attractiveness..."

 

I see myslef as an honest guy who's open minded and easy going but unfortunately if too nice to early I think a lot of women see that shit as weak and desperate. I think a lot of women look as a wallet maybe some don't but I've never really encountered that.

 

Yes it is :heart:

 

That's what I assumed you would think. Given that you think women view you as worth nothing more than what's in your wallet at any given time, I don't find your statement that you view them as talking vaginas as offensive. As Whikle and Jaisee pointed out, everyone has a different perspective and way of defining things, yours is based upon your personal experiences, many off which haven't been with particularly good people.

 

To be honest and fair I don't think any of the girls I dated were bad people but its pretty much just New York culture. Just money and material things. Its what people strive for here. Its become so stuck up in my area now there's actual the "right" places to volunteer. Volunteering at a certain places actually carries more social acclaim over others but my previous statements about a woman wanting a man to lead still holds true.

 

something that sexy then she can whip me because I have been a naughty boy

 

as a man I want to say I understand where andrae is coming from in a succint manner I believe andrae is saying that alot of women dont appreciate men who "fight" for them. When I see "fight" it kind of open to a wide amount of interpretation. Men will see that if you give so much to a woman then she will feel the following:

the thrill of the chase is over and there is no adventure and
he is a pushover

and I also understand what the women are saying that mature women would appreciate that kind of attention.

I have been with both types of women and men have stated over and over the same sentiments. nothing new