New to interracial dating

I am new to interracial dating. I do find that he does treat me better than any white man I have ever been with in the past. My question is how do I deal with society's criticism of our relationship not to mention my families when they find out that I have a black boyfriend?

 

good questions. Well first of all, remember that you are an individual and have the right to make personal choices in your life. You can buy the type of automobile you like, eat the kids of food you like, go to the type of school you choose, wear the type of clothes you wear, SO why not choose the type of guy you wish to date?

I thought southern California was more liberal than what I am hearing from people On here. there are many IR couples in your state, and so you should feel a bit more comfortable knowing that.

deal with other people by not addressing racist and silly questions about your personal business. would you listen to them if they told you how to live any other way? so ignore them. or tell them to mind their business, date whomever they want and let you date who you like.

As for parents--if you are still a child, then you have to abide by their rules, but if you are over 18 you should be very clear to them that you believe in equalty and not in racism, and that people are people. tell them that you date a black guy before you introduce them, so they have time to process it and you can explain. but dont feel you have to make excuses for it because there is nothing wrong in dating IR. if they still wont accept, tell them you will pray for them but continue to date him as you feel led to

 

My parents biggest beef with me dating people of other races was how we'd be treated by others. I explained that this was the very reason I needed their support. They said that I was too young to know what I was getting into etc........this was years ago.

I remind myself daily that its MY LIFE. If anyone rejects me because of who I am dating, then its not a loss. Most people in my life know that I am pretty openminded compared to other southerners. By way of them loving me -- they will give whoever I'm dating a chance. Now, my parents -- I wouldn't involve them unless it gets more serious.

Just my perspective. Its your choice to date who you want. Its your life!

 

if you are an adult, you have to start living your life for you. You dont ask your parents or society to tell you what to do for a living or where to live or if you can travel or have kids? then you have to make the decision about the man you date based on what you know is love and how you feel about the person--society doesnt pay your bills or care for you

 

Racism

Hello,

I am Native American and registered because I was interested in the interracial discussion. I have experienced racism in different areas of the country. However, I actually find Florida, a "southern" state, to be fairly mild-mannered in regards to "interracial" dating. When I was at Notre Dame, I know many of the white women were racist and viewed minorities (i.e. Native Americans, African Americans, Hispanics) as being intellectually inferior or potentially violent or both. But I am in graduate school now in my mid 30s and get approached by white women, some of whom are blonde and usually in their early 20s. One of them was even a blonde, sorority woman. Florida feels more open-minded compared to Notre Dame. Colorado also had a big media story in December (05) when a blonde, racist white woman (cross country team) at CU sent a racist email to a Mexican runner (also at CU) via her boyfriend's account on the facebook.com. The actual email can be found at dailycamera.com if you register and search "CU racism." I thought it was ironic for her and her football-player, white boyfriend to be racist when CU had just gotten beaten by Vince Young's offense for the Big-12 championship. I guess their white racism was stubborn. So I know there are still racist white women out there, but at least Florida is fairly mild-mannered. I don't miss those racist, white women at Notre Dame now that I am in Florida. If you want to avoid racism against "interracial" dating, avoid Notre Dame or the suburbs of Denver/Boulder (CO).

Apache Indian in FL

 

Nativerunner - you are one of a few people who have stated that Florida is one of the most accepting states towards interracial relationships. I wonder why that is??? I guess that is good news since my baby's father and I will be moving to Brandon, FL towards the end of this year.

I know this is off topic, but does anyone have an opinion on why Florida keeps coming up as the IR hot spot?

 

Blondeblonde,

I'm not sure if this addresses your question but they way people have explained the "layout" of Florida to me is:
Up around the panhandle near lower Alabama, it's still very "southern".
I've heard from many people that the Tampa area is one of the best places for IR couples.
Palm Beach and Miami are not that open to Black/White IR's.
Key West is open minded.

Myself going down to Palm Beach, I don't think they are all that forward thinking but I can not speak for the other areas so take it with a grain of salt.

I hope that helps.

 

I'm glad to hear that is the case, because Brandon is a suburb of Tampa. My baby's father has lived there before and has said also that we will be one of many IR couples in that area. Mostly, I am looking forward to bringing our baby (who is only 2 weeks old now) there to raise around people who are more accepting of IR couples and where there are possibly more mixed race children. I live in South Dakota...which, as you can imagine, is about the most unlikely place to find other mixed race children (or even black children).

Thank you for your input.

 

No problem. 8)