Not sure if women around here like my 'brand'.

lippy said:
seven 4 all mankind jeans?
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I used to wear them, but the ones I have are J Brand. Also a few other brands too. I've been wearing corduroys hardcore in the fall though :)

RaiderLL said:
This could be the issue right here. Approachability obviously plays a HUGE factor in meeting people. If you seem standoff-ish, or quiet/reserved, women probably aren't going to be drawn to you in a way that makes them want to strike up a conversation. I've always been a fairly shy/reserved person irl (until I'm comfortable with someone), and it used to take a conscious effort on my part to smile/converse with random people I met when out and about. I was always very good at just going about my business, so focused on what I needed to get done that I didn't really even notice those around me. To the point that people would think I was in a bad mood, when really I was in a fine mood, just doing my own thing. I hated coming off that way, so over the past year I've worked on really paying attention to those around me...now, I smile at everyone, I say hi when I pass people in the store, I'm friendly when others engage me in conversation, etc. It's incredible the difference it's made in how often I get approached. Just some food for thought.

As for your style, that's part of what makes you, you. I get the whole "change up your style to see if it makes a difference" thing, but really...I imagine you'd want to be able to be yourself around a potential mate and if you like your style...why start off by trying to be something you're not? Your style may not be mainstream where you live, but it's certainly not something that would turn a woman off, IMO. My two cents...stay true to you but try to remain cognizant of your demeanor and how it might be perceived by others :)
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Good point about the dressing. I know it wouldn't turn any woman off. I think it is being more approachable at times. I don't always put myself out as much, or maybe I'm not the best at small talk. Actually I know I'm not good at small talk usually even though I tend to be more extroverted.

So the past few weeks I've been having an issue with my voice. I actually lost my voice between the weather and finding out I have a reflux issue. So I talked to this one female at work I see once in a while and people know I have a really deep voice. She said my temporary voice was 'less intimidating'. I thought it was funny because I don't go around trying to intimidate people, though I know my presence may make people intimidated by me.

One other person said to me that I'm 'serious' all the time. I will try to be more cognizant on how I'm perceived. At the gym it's a different story. For some reason people approach me there quite often.
 
blackbrah said:
I used to wear them, but the ones I have are J Brand. Also a few other brands too. I've been wearing corduroys hardcore in the fall though :)



Good point about the dressing. I know it wouldn't turn any woman off. I think it is being more approachable at times. I don't always put myself out as much, or maybe I'm not the best at small talk. Actually I know I'm not good at small talk usually even though I tend to be more extroverted.

So the past few weeks I've been having an issue with my voice. I actually lost my voice between the weather and finding out I have a reflux issue. So I talked to this one female at work I see once in a while and people know I have a really deep voice. She said my temporary voice was 'less intimidating'. I thought it was funny because I don't go around trying to intimidate people, though I know my presence may make people intimidated by me.

One other person said to me that I'm 'serious' all the time. I will try to be more cognizant on how I'm perceived. At the gym it's a different story. For some reason people approach me there quite often.
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Tone of voice. That is another issue. Do you sound like Barry White, The Shadow, Keith David,Sidney Poitier, Richard Roundtree, or others? When people listen to me speak, some would say I am from the Caribbean or the U.K.. If you speak clearly and people can hear what you are saying and understand, if your voice is calm and even, then you have their attention. It rattles initial perceptions.
 
Gorath said:
Tone of voice. That is another issue. Do you sound like Barry White, The Shadow, Keith David,Sidney Poitier, Richard Roundtree, or others? When people listen to me speak, some would say I am from the Caribbean or the U.K.. If you speak clearly and people can hear what you are saying and understand, if your voice is calm and even, then you have their attention. It rattles initial perceptions.
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Hmmm I would probably say I sound more like Barry White. I have a deep 'baritone' voice more than anything. It is probably the most recognizable trait about me. Some people have said "I KNEW that was you when I heard your voice :)" It isn't a negative for me. People say that I have a really nice voice and it captivates them.

I have a number of times where both men and women have asked me do I do radio or do I sing.
 
blackbrah said:
Hmmm I would probably say I sound more like Barry White. I have a deep 'baritone' voice more than anything. It is probably the most recognizable trait about me. Some people have said "I KNEW that was you when I heard your voice :)" It isn't a negative for me. People say that I have a really nice voice and it captivates them.

I have a number of times where both men and women have asked me do I do radio or do I sing.
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Barry White was born and raised in Texas. Radio and singing has its own challenges. I'd say use your voice to carry things along. As William Shakespeare once wrote in Hamlet,"Be familiar, but in no ways vulgar."
 
RaiderLL said:
This could be the issue right here. Approachability obviously plays a HUGE factor in meeting people. If you seem standoff-ish, or quiet/reserved, women probably aren't going to be drawn to you in a way that makes them want to strike up a conversation. I've always been a fairly shy/reserved person irl (until I'm comfortable with someone), and it used to take a conscious effort on my part to smile/converse with random people I met when out and about. I was always very good at just going about my business, so focused on what I needed to get done that I didn't really even notice those around me. To the point that people would think I was in a bad mood, when really I was in a fine mood, just doing my own thing. I hated coming off that way, so over the past year I've worked on really paying attention to those around me...now, I smile at everyone, I say hi when I pass people in the store, I'm friendly when others engage me in conversation, etc. It's incredible the difference it's made in how often I get approached. Just some food for thought.

As for your style, that's part of what makes you, you. I get the whole "change up your style to see if it makes a difference" thing, but really...I imagine you'd want to be able to be yourself around a potential mate and if you like your style...why start off by trying to be something you're not? Your style may not be mainstream where you live, but it's certainly not something that would turn a woman off, IMO. My two cents...stay true to you but try to remain cognizant of your demeanor and how it might be perceived by others :)
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Good points. The suggestion that I made about changing up with regard to style was only from an experimental point of view, just to see if that made any difference. You are correct that Blackbrah, or anyone else for that matter, should want to be himself, naturally, around a potential future mate. I would think that most "down-home" cowboy types would not be very comfortable in Savile Row clothing and bespoke footwear so, of course, style -- when it comes to dress -- is a matter of personal taste and level of comfortability. Some guys will change up their style if they are aware that such a change will impress a certain female, or females, whom they may be interested in. However, in keeping with your point, why try to be something that you're really not?
 
LuvVanillaIC said:
Good points. The suggestion that I made about changing up with regard to style was only from an experimental point of view, just to see if that made any difference. You are correct that Blackbrah, or anyone else for that matter, should want to be himself, naturally, around a potential future mate. I would think that most "down-home" cowboy types would not be very comfortable in Savile Row clothing and bespoke footwear so, of course, style -- when it comes to dress -- is a matter of personal taste and level of comfortability. Some guys will change up their style if they are aware that such a change will impress a certain female, or females, whom they may be interested in. However, in keeping with your point, why try to be something that you're really not?
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No I would not.

I've noticed this with my good friend in AZ. He's a chemical engineer, white dude, he likes the rugged look. He stands out being in Flagstaff AZ since he actually likes to dress up, etc.

I haven't really asked him if many girls dig what he wears, but he certainly is 'different' from the men there and he's mostly been in serious relationships since living there and just got out of a divorce. The woman he met recently actually is from the same state he's from so they relate.

Anyways back to my point, I think dressing well may not be a 'ding' against me honestly. Funny enough amongst a lot of my guy friends and coworkers many people mention my dress. "Why do you gotta make us look bad, blackbrah?" or been called GQ a few times.

I do like that feeling of dressing how I want to. It makes me feel prepared and confident. I doubt I will change that for anyone, only improve my own personal style.
 
archangel said:
I hope it works out for year in 2014. I advise not to come to Houston. I haven't seen much mixing.
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I'll move in the middle of the year. Not to Houston though heh. I thought there would be more mixing there?

Still. I figured that even at the current moment I'm not too fond of where I live I could still work on how these factors affect me. That is why I'm working on improving my social skills. Even if certain women aren't into me I can still make all other aspects of my game top notch.
 
Whatever your style is, just do you, BB. Be confident in who you are instead of trying to change to fit your environment. You will then attract the women who like you for YOU.

That's a lot of "you's." Lol
 
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