Open Relationship???

This subject has probably been brought up here before I joined...but my curiosity has no limits...

Would you have an open relationship with your partner? or have you had one and how did it go?

Of course, by "open relationship" I mean even though you and your partner are serious about each other, you allow each other to have sexual encounters with other people

I`m very interested in hearing from you all, but especially from MEN, whom I know would often allow themselves to go "see" elsewhere, but would be ready to kill if they found out their sweet babe was being...hmmm...taken doggy style by some other guy!

 

i think guys who are willing to be in an open relationship think that they will be able to tap what may come their way but will began to rethink the option when the wife gets more play then they do. :lol:

 

From a psychological standpoint, some people tend to fall into voyeuristic and exhibitionistic personalities so they will/can gravitate to “open” relationships.

I’m not for “open” relationships myself however if you like that kind of thing, then I say more power to you JREMINATOR.

How often do you dream of some else "giving" it to your girl doggie style? :shock: 8)

 

Okay, I am going to be blasted off the planet by the females in here, but whatever...here goes.......

I happen to define an "open relationship" as one in which the parties involved have complete honesty with each other....if a man is up front about his interest in pursuing other women, then no problem. Just do not make me think that it is exclusive then spring the desire for others on me later in the relationship. I have no problem with a man that is totally honest about that kind of thing from the beginning. I have never turned on a man hatefully who played around on me, (I blame society for men being afraid to be up front because of the long held dictations to how we are supposed to behave in a "standard relationship").

There was an incidence once when I found my man in the bed with my best friend.....unfortunately I was blind sided by the affair, and whipped her all the way out my door.....I did not attack him, nor did I berate or badger him, I simply asked him to leave me for his misrepresenting himself as choosing to be monogamous when he was not. He knew my acceptance that monogamy may not be for every man and there was no reason to carry on with my friend in secret. She too knew of my opinion on this type of matter, therefore I have no guilt to this day for whipping her out the door.

Now here is where the women are gonna blast me......I do not believe now, nor have I ever believed that it is okay for a woman to have extra-curricular relationship. No matter what. It just seems wrong to me, always has and always will.
What about the "whats good for the goose is good for the gander?" you might ask..........Nope, still would not be right to me, even if my man would be accepting of that. Ain't gonna do it, no how no way.

Alright then, I'm ready, blast away fellow females I can take it...... 8)

 

Okay. I'm slow...
Are you saying that it's cool for men to cheat but not women??? :?:

 

:lol:

to sugar44: You and me are very, very.......not the same kind of person

 

woooaaaah there....

double standards or what!!!

 

Well...for some people it`s only bcoz they wanna try something new and exciting all the time
For others, their relationship has become a boring routine and they want to spice it up...

I do not particularly LIKE open relationships...but sometimes, it happens...naturally...I experienced it...and it was GREAAAAAAAAT

it doesn`t mean it`s a rule!!

Now women and men are equal aren`t they Sugar44???

 

Sugar, I can appreciate your honesty. Me personally, I could not stand it if I had a woman who messed around with other dudes; even though it would be okay for me. Therefore I think open relationships are NOT good. I think that both parties should be treated equally so there you have it...

 

We are living in a different age. With AIDs, Herpes, Hep C and every other type of incurable disease out there, open relationships are NOT for me. I already have a compromised immune system (SLE) and something that may be just a neusance virus to a healthy person, could be a serious health concern for me.

I make sure who ever I am having a sexual relationship with fully understands my situation. If he isnt capable of seeing only me, then he doesnt need to see me at all.

Would you stay with an alcoholic who couldnt control their drinking?

Would you stay with a drug addict who couldnt control their behavior?

Would you stay with a person who couldnt control their rage?

Why stay with someone who cant/wont control their sexual behavior?

 

This thread turned out to be one of the funniest and most interesting ones in this entire site only on the first page...

and, although Sugar wrote the most interesting post, I will answer the question by saying, it all depends, meaning that it all depends on how you define an 'open relationship', because if you have a relationship with more than one person, other than the previous person you hooked up with, then how is that open exactly? If you and your partner are involved with other people outside of the relationship, then they must be a part of that individual relationship too, so it's not really 'open' if you think about it...

and, as far as 'what's good for the goose being good for the gander', um, NO. I don't care what you think about this I'm sayin' here, but NO. Compromise in a relationship should NOT be based on *cough* 'equal rights' because of someone in the relationship 'having their cake and eating it too', in fact, that'll only make things in the relationship even worse because the individuals involved are only compromising for all the wrong reasons, and not the right ones. Whatever you and your partner work out in a relationship should NEVER be based on society's popular opinion, and should only consist of what the people in the actual relationship have all concluded upon and accepted as a necessity to work out their own relationships, be it infidelity or monogamy.

Personally, as a young and straight man, I would probably like the idea of screwing more than one girl, and more than likely will want to from time to time, but just because I do doesn't mean that I should act upon it, and that feeling is normal for most of us anyway, and to tell you the truth, as a young and straight man, if I didn't feel that way from time to time, then something is probably wrong with me anyway...

and, just so everyone knows, I am NOT advocating infidelity here. I'm only giving my own perspective on relationships that are 'open' if you will, and when it all boils down to it, I say to each it's own...

but, not everything is for everybody, especially if it's only about 'equal compromise' and not intimate compromise.

 

I am monogamous because I have no choice.
After 2 minutes I’m all done for the night, so if I’m with two women, I’ll be the dreaded 1 minute brother. :roll:
And I can’t have that!!!
:shock:

 

Wow...Sardonicgenie...maybe Sugar44 had given the best post up to yours...but I particularly like YOURS!!!!

Without infidelity, there is no faithfulness...and vice versa...FIND YOUR OWN WAY, without thinking that it is THE way...bcoz it isn`t!!!!

Kev...u disturbed me a bit...what exactly do u mean??? so u don`t do open relationships bcoz u CAN`T,,,but if u would if u could???

And what does that mean "after two minutes u r all done"???? could u please clarify that for me???

Flygirl...the things u said sound extremely moralist and also...

1) There are many ways today to protect oneself against a lot of diseases

2) Having Open relationships doesn`t at all mean having no control over one`s sexual desire...that`s a total misconception!

3) All the thigns u said sound full of FEAR...man`s worst enemy!

 

Well, it is what it is. It is how I feel.

1) There are ways to reduce the risks, but the only way to guarantee is absence.

2) I never said it did. My statement about having control over ones own desires was directed more towards what Sugar said about men v. women. But I am very leary of people who cant (or wont) control themselves. I dont take to drunks, addicts or other behavioral problems from people I allow into my life. If you want to be a part of my life, you have to act right. Period. If you dont like that then you dont have to come around me. Sorry it is harsh, but I have a whole history of dealing with people who dont/wont control themselves. Why should I allow that kind of nonsense into my life? I dont see the benefit in it. It doesnt make sense.

3) Fear? If you say so. But, I must remind you that you are not me. You do not deal with the weekly doctor appointments, bills, insurance hastles, etc. Guarding my health is very very very important to me. Like I said before, what may be a nusance or embarassment to a healthy person would be much more serious for me. I am all about keeping the ratio of good days to bad days in may favor. And if it means that I have to NOT fuck someone who feels the need to fuck someone else..... it isnt even a decision I have to think about. There isnt ANYONE on the face of this planet who is worth me compromising my health. There are still too many like-minded men who are willing to see just me. Why should I compromise my health? I just dont see the benefit it in. Doesnt make sense.

 

Before you come back on me....again. Please REREAD. I said what works for ME.

I feel you are being over sensitive about it. You dont like that I dont want that nonsense in my life so you try to argue a different point, one I never made. I aint biting.

 

Did I say it is okay for them to cheat? NO......read it again.
I said if a man is honest with me from the beginning, alerting me to the fact that he may find himself interested in another woman, but would not like to lose me....then I am okay with him doing that. IF he leads me to believe that we are exclusive then goes out with another woman it would be over...that is cheating to me....lying to me about monogamy.....

For women, yes you are correct in that I do not believe that it is okay EVER for a woman to be with another man when she is committed to one already, and yes even IF the man is okay with it. A woman has a choice to remain with a man that has others in his life, or she can choose not to be with one that is not monogamous.....she must decide that. But to have one and take on others is never right...in my opinion. That is what is asked here....our opinion on the subject so I gave mine.
Why? Do you have an issue of the double standard I take? It's okay if you do have a problem with my feeling this way. I am secure in my beliefs, so I am fine with what ever you might want to say about the stance I take on this.

Hugs,
Sugar

 

Yep Crystal, totally a double standard......
I am not ashamed of that either. I am not saying it is okay to be walked on and maltreated so don't misunderstand. The complex reason of why and exactly what I mean would take days to explain, so I will count on the female readers being able to open their minds and tolerate the alternative view I have on this kind of subject.
Allow me to repeat it again...I do not intend to imply I find it acceptable to be mistreated and disrespected in any way shape or form.....

Hugs,
Sugar

 

Dear Flygirl...

I am sorry if I sounded over-sensitive, maybe aggressive in my last post...I didn't`t mean to...truly, I am sorry.

We all are what our personal experiences made of us...so your way to deal with this matter only shows that you are a mature and intelligent woman who has learned from her experiences...good and bad

Same for me...my response may have sounded too passionate bcoz if there is one thing that has hindered the human mind`s evolution, it is FEAR!...and in my life I have learned that fear very often leads us astray!!!

I am also a researcher...and always considered life absolutely tasteless if we wouldn't`t experiment, a least a little bit.

NOW I`m in the chemical/medical field...so I`m also for TAKING THE LEAST AMOUNT OF RISKS possible and living the healthiest life possible!!
Now as u know, risk ZERO doesn`t exist...anywhere!!

To finish, like I said, your reasons not to want to even "approach" the idea of open relationships are good...they are yours, I FULLY RESPECT you...and your reasons!

I just think that sometimes in life, things happen...that we do not have to control...maybe just monitor...and it applies to art, to science, to love, to sex, to relationships...

that`s the new melody that lingers in ur head, so strongly, so insistingly that you grab your guitar and start playing it...ad lib...that`s CREATIVITY! that`s a choice!

 

For those people wishing to try this for the first time, please be wary, sometimes, Fantasies can be very different from reality.......oops wait a minute! that's why they're called fantasies in the first place isn't it?

 

Open relationship

If that what she wanted, I could deal. I would get a funny feeling in my midsection, LOL but....... I could deal with it.