Open Relationship???

i think it shouldnt matter. i and my ex boyfriend sometimes hook up if he is horny or if im horny. sometimes you find a certain partner who is just really really good in bed and if your both single, then why not. as long as your not cheating on someone. i guess what most of you are talking about is a couple where your aloud to cheat. i dont really see that as a couple. your just f*ck buddies really. its the same as having a freind you screw or what me and my ex-b/f do or any former couple do, which is doing it once in a while because theres still that bond and attraction, the relationship just didnt work for whatever reason.

allot of people look down on it (ive been called slut by many, hell even michael on here called me a whore but i dont give a sh--) but hey it is what it is. some girls and guys can have emotionless sex. i mean sex is just getting off, an orgasm. you can use your hand, a toy, or someone elses body. masturbation or sex, no difference, same goal, getting off. one (real sex) is just waaay more fun lol. michael was telling me how he does this too. he has ex g/f's and friends he hooks up with. i think its awesome (although if your not careful it can result in an unwanted child which mike was telling me about what happened to him and some german girl he used to date or something)

the only problem is sumtimes feelings get involved and one of the two possibly has a crush and is hoping the hooks ups will turn into more (maybe a friendship into a couple, or a broken up couple getting back together) ive been involved on both ends, where i was the one hoping the sex would result in getting back together, and ive been on the side where i just wanted the ocasional booty call and he was the one wanting a more comited thing. in those cases someone always gets hurt, thats the only drawback, but its still fun as long as both know its all just fun.

 

That's right. YOu have to be very sure of what you want, and you have to have ground rules that you and yyour partner are willing to follow. Myself, i don't mind being the "third wheel", but I don't think I could be in an open relationship. Joining in witha couple will get you what you want--sex with no strings attached. But everyone has to be really, really careful because feelings can get hurt.

 

StreetGurl666

I agree with StreetGurl666. Life is too short for hangups.

 

Open Relationships

I guess I am the first willing to comment who is actually in an open relationship, so I will shed some light from my perspective.

First of all, an open relationship is not about cheating. It is not that one person fools around and another doesn't, although you could agree on that for your ground rules. Cheating inside an open relationship is still cheating.

An open relationship implies that you will live with HONESTY. Most couples that I know who are in open relationships ( and I am living in a way that I know hundreds of such couples and have been in an open relationship for over two years ) invite multiple partner situations, but despise lying and cheating about other liasons. I know dozens and dozens of MARRIED COUPLES who are in open relationships, so to the person who said that you would be just fuck buddies...well that's not accurate.

Most of the couples I know who are in open relationships have an agreed-upon set of rules. In my relationship, it is okay to have sex with multiple partners at a sex party but it would not be okay if I were to meet up with people on the downlow. In another marriage that I know, the man regularly has sex one-on-one with women, and the woman often has one-on-one sessions with her own female partners. Sometimes the couple has a woman come over and they have a threesome.

Usually condoms are required for these encounters. Usually the encounters happen in planned situations, like small house parties, or group parties where the members of the group agree to have sex with one another, the most important rule being "NO MEANS NO." If, in any situation, for whatever reason, a participant says NO then the behavior stops, the person who made the request withdraws the request and does not persist or ask again.

In Sugar's note above where she feels that women should never be unfaithful--well you can be faithful to your partner within an open relationship as long as you are truthful and follow the agreed upon rules.
An open relationship is about having additional sex partners or even love interests. (You could fall in love with a third who is a regular part of your sex life if you want to--as long as you both determine that is what you want) It is about honesty and integrity and making a lifestyle choice to be polygamous. I am not saying that he and I have never revisited whether we want to continue on in an open relationship. Sometimes it is hard to see him do another woman doggy. However it usually only pisses me off if he uses up all his energy and I didn't...

But that's just life for us. I would rather quibble about wanting some of him after he does someone else than feel restrained and in a life of monogamy. (I've tried it and it wasn't for me!)

Oh and I know some of you will want to be totally judgemental about this. Big sigh here. Okay. That's life. I am just offering my perspective because it hasn't been offered in the discussion.