Question: Are IR daters more ashamed than Gays

I was downtown today handling some business at a office building and overheard this whitegirl with her black female friend talking to these white guys & girls. I walked in on it late but I heard she told them that she date all races race doesn't matter to her. (which is good)

10 minutes later on the elevator her and her friend was talking about the one white guy how he was looking at her in the sense as he liked her and she jokinlgy suggested that she go back and give him her number.
And she said I don't mess with whiteboys. At first I was like she is a double talker then I thought about it Im guessing it was more of afraid to proud enough to say what she is attracted to.


And you see that alot now that I think about it. Are alot of people who date interracially (esp. black&white) ashamed to admit they prefer one race to date, marry, be with, etc. which is the reason why some of them take the safe road and say that date all races when asked about it?

I think so. Maybe not all, some people really do date/attracted to many races but I do believe people who are attracted to one race is ashame to let that be known.

 

I think depending on how accepting the area is, some are more open than others. I've heard of others being treated poorly once others found out they were dating IR in an office setting.. well a hostile enviroment is no fun to work in.. so I guess in a place where it might be less accepting some may chose not to advertise.

I've never cared what anyone thought. I put a picture right out there on a desk when I'm dating someone. I'm not about to hide who I see. I'm not ashamed.

 

I agree with what Sassy said.

As for me personally, I am not ashamed to admit that I am attracted to black men, whether to a group of strangers or to my family. I wasn't afraid to have my man meet my family, even though I knew that my grandmother and possibly my father would not be that happy about it. But it turns out that they liked him and he and my father get along great.

 

I respect people that have the inter-strength to stand up for what they believe in and to stand up for the person they like.
I once worked with a guy who was very much a nonconformist. He understood things about group dynamics and societal conformity that a lot of people just don't see but when we use to talk about IR he told me that that pressure was one of the hardest things that he had come up against.

I don't think it's something that a number of people can deal with so it's easier to just move in the path of least resistance.

 

Yes they are.



In fact, that very question sums up all of the BS that comes with people claiming how proud they are to date anyone from a different racial group, but then practically doing a 180 when they are outed for actually having a preference of a particular racial group, be it theirs, or another select group.



You have a lot of white women who claim that 'color doesn't matter', but most of these women deliberately seek out black men all the time. The ones who claim that they prefer black men are usually the ones who will date more than black men also. In case you haven't noticed this yet, there are women like that in here.

 

Okay, i think i know what you're saying here but don't you think you should phrase that a little better? Especially with the "date more than black men" part? What is more or less than dating black men in your opinion?

 

That does make it hard for someone to tell rather someone is open minded or just saying they date all races because they are afraid to admit to people they have an attraction to one specific kind of woman/man.


I said it once and I'll say it again. Iam so glad Iam not single now days(LOL). Man is it tough out there.

 

What I'm saying is this: A lot of white women who claim that they prefer black men actually don't prefer black men, but would rather just have sex with black men instead. Along with being ashamed of it, that's why a lot of them say it.

 

This is what I meant. I guess I didn't phrase as accurately. I was in a hurry when I wrote my response anyway.

 

I can only speak for myself here.

I have often compared my preference with homosexuality.
Especially to ppl who feel the need to constantly ask me why I prefer BM and date them exclusively. I just tell them that it is my preference and that it is what it is. I tell them that if I told them I was a lesbian, it would probably never enter their mind to ask me "why" I was attracted to women. However, having a strong physical attraction to BM to them is a choice - something that I can change about myself!

While it is true that I could choose to not follow my desire and happiness - just as many gays live their lives in the closet and end up getting married to partners of the opposite sex - but I know that I would not be happy or satisfied being with a partner that I am not extremely attracted to, physically. So, for me... it is not a choice at all - just like homosexuality is not a choice.

I just wish that we could have parades and bars and stores and international IR Games!!! haha :lol:

 

Maybe you should try asking them the reverse to find out why they ask you about it.

OK, then...

Cute.

 

For me I'm honest to say I love to date WW and on some Black websites I tell the Black woman who wanted to date me that I love White women. I don't lie when it comes to my preference.

 

I've never lied about my preferences for WW, at least since I was 12 years of age. I've always known what I wanted.

BTW, the gay people I know have never ever been ashamed of it, in fact, they thrive on it. But that's what I've seen.

BT