Random Conversation 2.0

Are you ok fam?

 

That's normal, unless it gets too dark. You're at a different place in your life than many and it's normal that your views are going to differ. Just remember that all these phases are just that, phases. Each one provides some little kernel of knowledge that you can take with you to the next stage and be stronger for it.

 

yeah man, I appreciate you asking

It's just weird sometimes like I don't get where I fit. I am in a good place career wise but I just feel out of place. My favorite aunt just got diagnosed with cancer and its got me questioning mine own life and what's important. I don't know if this is a mid life crisis but I really want kids, I want experience a bond that can't be bought or influenced by circumstance. With that said I don't think I want to date or even be with anyone anymore. I've seen and experienced too much to ever trust that anyone is actually in it for me and not a way to further/support their own situation. Ideally I'd love to have a kid by a woman in third world country and visit monthly. I know this shit is unrealistic I'm just musing, I feel a little lost. I'm finally getting to where I've desperately wanted to be financially and feel like a mitch for complaining but I can't deny something feels off.

 

I hate to sound corny here, but you know the phrase "Man cannot live by bread alone". I'm not spiritual, but I do believe there are things beyond the material and/or financial that bring us fulfillment. Are you engaged in anything in your neighborhood or community? Anything that can get you outside of yourself for a bit? Sometimes I get more critical and down on myself when I have too much time on my hands to dwell on what's wrong with me. Helping others channels some of that energy into more productive channels. Just a thought.

 

Wanna chat? You know where to find me. I mean that.

 

Yeah maybe I need to volunteer some more because things just feel so heavy and I hate it. Maybe it's the 14 to 18 hr days at work, but I'm feeling miserable. This isn't wasn't what I envisioned when I was a kid at all, but you are onto something with getting out of my own head. After I'm done with my loans I think I might have to devote more of earnings to things I believe in and a lot less dating. It's getting to a point where women just make me sad.

Thank you I really appreciate it :freehug::freehug:

 

I mean it. We annoy the hell out of each other at times but we always gotten over it. I can be an unbiased ear to bend. The offer is there.:freehug::freehug:

 

Listening to a woman you respect on the male/female thing could be a BIG help, so take FG's offer into consideration. And you don't have to donate more necessarily or spend a lot of time volunteering, but just giving back even a little or getting into exercise or something else helps. I wrestle with those kinds of feelings at times, but getting out of my own head helps prevent those feelings from becoming all-consuming.

 

I need a hobby I need to feel centered, I guess I just feel so stressed and romantically unfulfilled but then you question do I even want romantic love because that shit just becomes a huge headache/bill. Then dealing with all this death stuff makes me realize how finite and short all this shit is. Like I said heavy fam but talking it out helps out a lot. You don't realize how much you bottle it all up until its ready to pop lol

 

No doubt. Talking with someone rocks. I'm quick to get on the shrink's couch if I need it, lol. It's good that you recognize when that feeling is coming so that you work on arresting it right away. You can do it, man.

 

Fanny, I know what you're talking about. I often feel out of place and the gypsy in me longs to just pack up and leave...find greener pastures, be around like minded people and just start anew.

Like FG said, I'm always here if you need to chat x

 

:freehug: glad you are ok. I sometimes feel the same. It helps to talk about things with someone you trust. Reach out, try getting involved more in your community. I'm also here if you ever want to talk.

 

I appreciate the love guys just really stressed out and didn't realize how much until I posted.

 

lol just trying to figure out a way to get what I want out of life and manage it appropriately. Like I said its really unrealistic but that arrangement would probably work best for me lol

 

What do you do on the bad days?

 

Why are you talking like a bitch?

Have a drink. Go for a run. Fuck, do both. Drunk running, there you go a new sport!

Today is officially the first day of summer, so turn off that motherfucking computer and get out of the house. Damn.

 

lol happy you got that off your chest smh
You'd never say that to a woman right?

 

Going to the Gay Pride parade with my daughter today. Should be intersting