reasons why I exclusively date interacially (PLEASE RESPOND)

Don't want to be him. Just respect him, that's all. :lol:

 

Just be glad that I didn't write the sentence the other way around :wink:

 

Uh, yeah, I'm definitely glad about that.

 

there's absolutely nothing wrong in that, my friend. its nice to be you. besides, there's nothing fascinating about me anyway for anyone to want to be like me so there you go.

 

Humility is one of the most attractive characteristics in a person.

 

LaydeezmanCris,

I HAVE ONE THING TO SAY TO YOU....

PREACH ON PASTOR, PREACH ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for telling your story, I knew that I was not the only one going through this type of thing I am glad to be a part of this forum. It is a relief to know that I am among people who understand me and my experiences.

You know, this sort of behavior is much too consistent to ignore and the brothas are tired of it. :evil:

There are so many different types and ethnic groups of girls that will appreciate a good brotha, so I say go for yours LaydeezmanCris. I am definitely going for mine.

Later

 

And so is a big willy! (in a man at least) But my cock's huge.

 

This post should be cut and pasted and plastered on every board where this subject comes up. No need anymore to wear out your fingers typing, Cris has done it for us. And here's the funny part: I'm 20 years older than Cris, from a different part of the world, and don't know him at all, yet I'm feeling every word he said. Why would that be if he didn't speak truth???

Continue to preach, brother Cris!

 

After reading this thread, I have asked myself - do I ever imitate black women? No, because how do you imitate a black person to start with? Mimick the accent? Or braid your hair? Or sprinkle your speech with street slang? None of these ignorant answers make sense. Being that my husband is African, I have examined the behaviour of African girls so that I can learn the positive. As someone on here has said, they are often very well-mannered, and cater to their men. My man expects that from me, and I'll do it to a certain extent, but not to the point of allowing disrespect. I asked him once directly: do you want a wife who doesn't respect herself? For a long time he would not say "please" when asking for something - I had to tell him that I won't be commanded, but if he asks nicely, I'll do anything for him. Fortunately, he never responds to such requests aggressively. He started saying please, and generally if I point out that he is being inconsiderate, he realizes it and changes. But yeah, this "ideal African girl" so to speak, the image of which I have put together in my mind from various sources and observations, is my "ideal", because I see that this is how he expects to be treated, this is how he was raised. To me it's not trying to be someone I'm not, because it's not specific ethnic things I'm trying to imitate, but universal positive traits. We have been through a whole lot of BS in our relationship but I think that the reason we always end up working things out is the willingness to listen to the other side and make adjustments if needed, even after a negative interaction to bounce back and be positive, even if it takes effort; and kindness and a positive outlook and hope for the future. And it's not just me doing that, but both of us. This is my first serious relationship, and I never knew in the beginning, when we were just dating, liked each other but did not know each other well, what it would be like to make a relationship work, you know? It is hard work as they say, but you feel heard, you see your efforts appreciated. These are the things I've learned in the course of the relationship, not something I'm repeating after someone else.

We will go to Mali for the first time together this year. I will watch the women and if I like what I see, I'll pick up some of the behaviors, probably. I married into that culture, after all. But I wouldn't say it's a bad thing, but something natural rather... I'm still "me" - but the "me" changes and evolves depending on my experiences.

 

MistressB - just for you because you will appreciate this:
I found online this piece of advice to husband-hunting women:

7. Speak of your feelings rather then of your thoughts


This extends point 6. When a woman speaks to her man about her ideas it feels like a challenge to most men. A man will cherish a woman who talks of her feelings.

Source: http://topten.org/public/BB/BB395.html

 

:lol: You're dead right, that was great!! Cheers gave me a good giggle anyway.

I almost never talk about my feelings, usually only my thoughts - even if they have an emotive bent, they are still not my own feelings. Here's to finding a man who will cherish me for speaking about my ideas! :roll:

The best part of a statement like that is the assumption that it's the WOMAN who has to change to make things better :lol:

 

Isn't that interesting? :lol:

 

Well seeing that the female is the Alpha and Omega, I don't see where that's so far-fetched

 

I think the sad part is that somebody actually believes this "advice"...

My grandmother and grandfather were madly in love with each other, yet had frequent and heated arguments on political, military and historical topics (he was a coronel). Grandma told me that he once said to her, "I think it's best for us to separate due to our ideological differences." Yet they're still together now that they're both about eighty years old, and they still argue and she is never afraid to express her point of view, only she doesn't expect to win, and neither does he. When she wants to finish the battle, she gives him a hug and a kiss and calls him her little kitten or something along those lines, and he just lights up. Aww.

 

Nilan, when I compare the whining diatribes Jaydun made like these below then you can understand why I saw the similarities to your first post. Plus look who was the first one to run in to cheer you on.

 

I think you've just described my idea of what marriage should be, Moskvichka - thank you!

 

Funny how when it's something a white person (I assume being on this board you're a white female, Rosey, though anything's possible) doesn't want to hear--especially coming from a black man--it's "whining."

And if Jaydun and Nilan are indeed one in the same, so what? A lot of his (their?) points are still valid, in my view.

My policy is this. If somebody is full of shit, it should be very easy to disprove what they say. But the fact that you keep harping on dude--dismissing his point of view as "whining" while offering no counter to his arguments--tells me that he just might be striking a nerve with you.

Which makes him right.

 

dude there are two bw/wm trolls on this board, JW and Rosey, so when it comes to them i dont even pay attention to what any of them say.

 

What I said just went right over you head, didnt it? I never said that all white women involved with black men try to act like black women, and furthermore, I was mainly talking about a lot of American white women, not you, so your post doesn't have anything to do with what the black men in this topic were speaking about, which also went right over your head.

 

Yep.