Should Parents of Bullies Pay?

[goodlove]

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/sh...ons--wisconsin-town-thinks-so--192525499.html


The Wisconsin town of Monona has taken a big step in the effort to fight bullying with an unusual new law, threatening to fine both the bully and his or her parents upward of $114.

More on Shine: Bully Punished With Bad Clothing. Unusual Yes, But Cruel?
“We don’t have a bullying problem any more than anywhere else, but it’s been escalating nationally, we just want to try to take an extra step to fight it,” Monona Police Sgt. Ryan Losby told Yahoo! Shine. “It’s for the parents out there who either won’t do anything to try and stop their kids from bullying, or for those who encourage it.”
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should parents pay for their kids bullying?

 

[RaiderLL]

I go back and forth on this. On one hand money talks, and occasionally that's the only way to get through to some parents. We already fine parents for their children's day time loitering, and for city curfew violations...why not add bullying? I've seen too many parents take a backseat approach to raising their children.

On the other hand I've witnessed parents who do everything in their power to raise well behaved kids...but they struggle every minute trying to keep their children on the right path. I don't know what the right answer is for cases like this but a fine seems like a slap in the face for a parent who's utilizing every avenue available to keep their child on the up and up...to no avail.

Bullying is a very real problem that needs to be addressed, but I'm not sure a one-size-fits-all punishment is the solution.

 

[buglerroller]

silly imo, if someone's child is bullying my child after a nice conversation about making sure their kid stops... then they will feel how it feels to be bullied. nuff said.

 

[Gorath]

In the mid-90's, I used to watch NHK News from Japan on PBS. The problem of bullying was on its way to becoming a national epidemic. This problem stemmed from the Japanese educational system. It is very rigid. Parents want their children to excel in all aspects of school. So, the children are rewarded by their parents with gifts like laptop computers, walkmen, calculators, cash, etc. The parents, unless they are working in trades like glass blowing or the fishing industry, they want their children to go to a major university in Japan or abroad. But, if the child is bullied and their possessions are taken away from them by the bully, the child has to answer to his parents about it. The child thinking(and fearing) his parents will not forgive him(the problem affected boys most of all), he goes out and commits suicide by hanging. I think things had improved since then and the educational system is still in place. But, noone was compensated. And the bully got away with it.

 

[1449225]

No.

The parents of kids who are bullied should teach their kids to stand up. This generation of kids are way too pussified. An ass whoopin or some teasing isn't a reason to hang yourself or get a gun and blow your noodles out. Enroll your kid
in some self defense classes or teach them how to fight.

 

[RaiderLL]

No.

The parents of kids who are bullied should teach their kids to stand up. This generation of kids are way too pussified. An ass whoopin or some teasing isn't a reason to hang yourself or get a gun and blow your noodles out. Enroll your kid
in some self defense classes or teach them how to fight.

Bullying is certainly not a reason to kill yourself but you're expecting level headed decisions out of teenagers who can't see past today. That's not realistic. And why do we always have to work around the problem? Why can't we work to correct the bully's behavior instead of just teaching our kids to fight?

 

[Gorath]

No.

The parents of kids who are bullied should teach their kids to stand up. This generation of kids are way too pussified. An ass whoopin or some teasing isn't a reason to hang yourself or get a gun and blow your noodles out. Enroll your kid
in some self defense classes or teach them how to fight.

Learning self-defense is a good idea. However, as a student, he or she has to realize that what he/she is learning can seriously injure or kill people. Do they want to be what they are afraid of? I recall an episode of the show Kung Fu. There was a scene in which one of the masters(played by Philip Ahn)explains what to do when in a fight. "Maim, but do not destroy. Destroy, but do not maim." I could not shake those words out of my head. It basically means to use force to disable an attacker, but do not kill. Damage the attacker so the the attacker will not even think about it again, but respect the fact that the attacker is a living being. In essence, respect life. That is what my instructors in shotokan karate and tae kwon do had drummed into me and the other students. Instructors have been known to turn potential students away if they detect an ulterior motive. So, they ask a lot of questions before they accept the application or the money.

 

[1449225]

Bullying is certainly not a reason to kill yourself but you're expecting level headed decisions out of teenagers who can't see past today. That's not realistic. And why do we always have to work around the problem? Why can't we work to correct the bully's behavior instead of just teaching our kids to fight?

Standing up for yourself isn't,"working around the issue". You can't spend your life running away from problems,you have to have some heart,be tough and confront issues (bullies included). You can't rationalize with some people,all they know is ignorance and violence,give them what they came for and I guarantee they'll back off.

 

[1449225]

Learning self-defense is a good idea. However, as a student, he or she has to realize that what he/she is learning can seriously injure or kill people. Do they want to be what they are afraid of? I recall an episode of the show Kung Fu. There was a scene in which one of the masters(played by Philip Ahn)explains what to do when in a fight. "Maim, but do not destroy. Destroy, but do not maim." I could not shake those words out of my head. It basically means to use force to disable an attacker, but do not kill. Damage the attacker so the the attacker will not even think about it again, but respect the fact that the attacker is a living being. In essence, respect life. That is what my instructors in shotokan karate and tae kwon do had drummed into me and the other students. Instructors have been known to turn potential students away if they detect an ulterior motive. So, they ask a lot of questions before they accept the application or the money.

I agree Gorath. The basics of self defense classes is to defend yourself and promote self worth,not to go kill someone and I think the former should start in the home,not the Dojo.

Making parents pay because their kid is picking on some would make the problem worse,not correct it. The bullied child would be ridiculed and picked on even more. There comes a point when you have to say 'fuck it' and stand tall. Win,lose or draw.

 

[Beasty]

No.

The parents of kids who are bullied should teach their kids to stand up. This generation of kids are way too pussified. An ass whoopin or some teasing isn't a reason to hang yourself or get a gun and blow your noodles out. Enroll your kid
in some self defense classes or teach them how to fight.

Standing up for yourself isn't,"working around the issue". You can't spend your life running away from problems,you have to have some heart,be tough and confront issues (bullies included). You can't rationalize with some people,all they know is ignorance and violence,give them what they came for and I guarantee they'll back off.

I wish I could rep you for these posts, spot on. Dealing with bullies is a part of growing up, and having the courage to do so builds character. It teaches you how to handle aggression and stand up for yourself early on. I can walk through any hood unarmed and alone and no one will fuck with me because I am comfortable in my own skin. This society is going too far off the deep end of catering to pussies. Let them grow out of that shit, It will not kill them. It is ok to have some fucking balls for once. sheesh

 

[RaiderLL]

I wish I could rep you for these posts, spot on. Dealing with bullies is a part of growing up, and having the courage to do so builds character. It teaches you how to handle aggression and stand up for yourself early on. I can walk through any hood unarmed and alone and no one will fuck with me because I am comfortable in my own skin. This society is going too far off the deep end of catering to pussies. Let them grow out of that shit, It will not kill them. It is ok to have some fucking balls for once. sheesh

Either we're talking about two different levels of bullying or you're speaking on an issue of parenting (and the consequences we as parents pay for our children's actions), and you're not a parent.

I absolutely believe kids should have the courage to deal with people picking on them. To me, that's not bullying. In school, most people are bound to get made fun of at one point or another, kids can defend themselves and move on. What I don't agree with are the kids who harass others on a daily basis with no consequences. When they're making someone's life a living hell, putting their business all over the Internet, luring them into traps just to later exploit them...that's the shit that needs to change.

My kids have always been taught to defend themselves...but they've also been taught not to bully people or treat others like shit. My point is that parents need to take an active role in raising their children with character, not just sit on the sidelines and watch how shit unfolds. It's really not just about teaching your kids to fight back and "have some balls".

 

[Beasty]

Either we're talking about two different levels of bullying or you're speaking on an issue of parenting (and the consequences we as parents pay for our children's actions), and you're not a parent.

I absolutely believe kids should have the courage to deal with people picking on them. To me, that's not bullying. In school, most people are bound to get made fun of at one point or another, kids can defend themselves and move on. What I don't agree with are the kids who harass others on a daily basis with no consequences. When they're making someone's life a living hell, putting their business all over the Internet, luring them into traps just to later exploit them...that's the shit that needs to change.

My kids have always been taught to defend themselves...but they've also been taught not to bully people or treat others like shit. My point is that parents need to take an active role in raising their children with character, not just sit on the sidelines and watch how shit unfolds. It's really not just about teaching your kids to fight back and "have some balls".

Two levels of bullying? lol! A lot of parents suck, that is a reality. It could be due to lack of concern, laziness, selfishness or any of the many other conditions that probably have been plaguing the human race for well over 100,000 years. I don't think involving some local government is the solution. If anything is going to be done on a collective level, how about we improve these shitty schools by improving the educational curriculums along with teacher salaries. Until we do that all this other shit is a joke. Teach a bully some thing useful they maybe he will change, if not then just kick his ass. lol

 

[1449225]

Two levels of bullying? lol! A lot of parents suck, that is a reality. It could be due to lack of concern, laziness, selfishness or any of the many other conditions that probably have been plaguing the human race for well over 100,000 years. I don't think involving some local government is the solution. If anything is going to be done on a collective level, how about we improve these shitty schools by improving the educational curriculums along with teacher salaries. Until we do that all this other shit is a joke. Teach a bully some thing useful they maybe he will change, if not then just kick his ass. lol

From a man's perspective you 'get it' Beasty. Getting other people and systems involved won't solve the problem,the bully will still be there. As I said before,Bullies dont understand rationale or common sense. Maybe it was their upbringing,maybe they're just naturally shitty people,but once you stand up for yourself and stop taking their shit they go away.

 

[Ches]

I go back and forth on this. On one hand money talks, and occasionally that's the only way to get through to some parents. We already fine parents for their children's day time loitering, and for city curfew violations...why not add bullying? I've seen too many parents take a backseat approach to raising their children.

On the other hand I've witnessed parents who do everything in their power to raise well behaved kids...but they struggle every minute trying to keep their children on the right path. I don't know what the right answer is for cases like this but a fine seems like a slap in the face for a parent who's utilizing every avenue available to keep their child on the up and up...to no avail.

Bullying is a very real problem that needs to be addressed, but I'm not sure a one-size-fits-all punishment is the solution.

Co-sign.

 

[archangel]

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/sh...ons--wisconsin-town-thinks-so--192525499.html


The Wisconsin town of Monona has taken a big step in the effort to fight bullying with an unusual new law, threatening to fine both the bully and his or her parents upward of $114.

More on Shine: Bully Punished With Bad Clothing. Unusual Yes, But Cruel?
“We don’t have a bullying problem any more than anywhere else, but it’s been escalating nationally, we just want to try to take an extra step to fight it,” Monona Police Sgt. Ryan Losby told Yahoo! Shine. “It’s for the parents out there who either won’t do anything to try and stop their kids from bullying, or for those who encourage it.”
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should parents pay for their kids bullying?

yes, money talks. I'm tired of parents not teaching kids how to act.