Speaking of Patriarchy and Matriarchy

It has often been said that there is a unique understanding, even bond between white women and Black Men. Some say this is due to the common ground between the two. We can relate and understand each other based on the ways we are seen and are dealt with in society (particularly in the U.S.)

There has been some talk about how White Women are raised with a Patriarchal mindset and Black Men are raised with a Matriarchal mindset. If this is the case, does this not create issues when it comes to relationships? How do two people who are raised with such different mindsets (diametrically opposed) make that work?

For those who seem to get stuck on what those terms even mean, here are definitions:

pa·tri·arch·y
?p?tr??ärk?/
noun

1. a system of society or government in which the father or eldest male is head of the family and descent is traced through the male line.
   • a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.
   • a society or community organized on patriarchal lines.
     plural noun: patriarchies

ma·tri·ar·chy
?m?tr??ärk?/
noun

1. a system of society or government ruled by a woman or women.
   • a form of social organization in which descent and relationship are reckoned through the female line.
   • the state of being an older, powerful woman in a family or group.
     "she cherished a dream of matriarchy—catered to by grandchildren"

 

My answer might not be what you're seeking but it's my feelings after reading your post...

I was raised in a Patriarchal culture.
My father was a gentle soul but no push over.
My vivacious mother was (is) the glue of my family, but my brothers were dominant and bossed my sister and l around.
My mother saw no fault in my brothers and subliminally taught us to be the 'tolerant' stronger of the sibling hierarchy, and "understand" their nature.
Because Greek men think theyre God's and God's gift.
( Except my daddy).

I don't really test the Black men in my life. Because l see my brothers in them and know my place, so to speak. It's a place l voluntarily take though, and l know where exactly it is..I don't take abuse but l don't push them to their limit. Men don't like that.
l respect and admire and tend to gravitate towards strong proud men with gentle souls who love their mums and who also respect and protect the women in their life. That's patriarchal behavior, IMO.

 

I totally get it and would agree. Even though my mother is not Italian, her family was very similar to my dad's in that the man was definitely the head of household and as you said - God's and God's gift. I'm not one to test, nor do I engage in any power struggles or competition. I do have limits and boundaries and will speak up if necessary and have this thing about that I shouldn't have to. Culturally, while the man was head of household, the woman was held in very high regard and the men would always stand up for them...ALWAYS. Basically there was an understanding of respect in both directions.

Ok...so then the question that arises is...what about the Black men who can not relate to patriarchal mindset and either will not (or maybe can not - don't know how, or try to in a f'd up way) take the lead of the household? Do you think this is attributed to Matriarchal mindset? or.....

There are those men who treat their mothers well, but it may not be the same in a relationship.

I just ask all this because it's come up at different times on this forum in different ways and I thought it might be a good idea to have a real conversation about how the differences/similarities impact relationships.