Square Black Men

OK. Like I said I am bedridden for a few more days and feel like a chain smoker of the messageboard.

Anyway- Now, yes I have dated IR since I started dating in high school. I have not lived in predominantly black areas so my involvement with the Afr Am community is limited to my relationships.

My observation. Overall, the black men I have dated have been the most straight-laced people for the most part. Each and everyone of them had exceptional dietary discipline. Whether vegetarian , whole foods or no sugar. The man I am with now is the only one that touches alcohol. Me-I don't restrict anything.

AND they all had this thing with sleep. All have been men that go to sleep early and wake up early. "gotta get my sleep".

I am so curious when I read the statistics regarding sleep, alcohol and diet of African Americans because in my experience at parties. Rarely does anyone smoke cigarettes unless they are older men. And while there is booze ,people don't get rip roaring drunk.

I don't have any questions but welcome any anecdotes anyone else has.

 

Personally I think it depends on the area, the man and how he was raised.

I've dated BM who were vegetarians and healthy eaters and those who liked junk food and were overweight..

...men who were early risers and men who were insomniacs and up all night

I don't really think those things have to do so much with race, but more with the individual personally

and now a days, I think more and more people do not smoke.. regardless of race.

As I have seen over the years the pressure (and incentives) that companies put on employees not to smoke, I've seen less and less smokers. I think that is why you see more older people smoking than younger ones.

I would also attribute less over drinking due to the crackdown on drinking and driving penalties with the law.

 

I think she's just surprised by what she hears about us as opposed to what she is actually seeing..

You'd think by listening to the media and reading articles that BM are the most rip-roarin' outta' control mofos on earth..but that ain't the case MOST of the time..

I'd rather be around a bunch of drunk Brothers than drunk White boys any day..

BM are very square for the most part..and I don't mean that as in not hip.

For the most part BM are very reserved..but you wouldn't know it by listening to Oprah or reading Terry McMillan..

 

winking at flaminghetero--

 

I never agreed that they were nerds either.

I actually didn't agree with anything she said.

My point was there were all kind of men from all kinds of styles and preferences no matter what race they were..

I didn't touch education because she didn't mention it, but you will find educated and uneducated as well.. just like other races..

I don't personally buy into any stereo type And actually I would say close to 90% of the men (all were blk but one) I have dated have been either attending college or had their degree, some going on to their masters. They were highly intelligent men, but I'd never have called them nerds or even thought it.

but then again, I have spent ten years in IT.. so maybe I am a bit of a nerd myself.

 

Let me clarify. Quite obviously I view BM as people if you have been on the boards and have read my posts. I didn't really think it was necessary to add an additional disclaimer.

I said MY experience has been quite different from statistics. I made no generalized statements about "black men" in any stereotypical way. I have observed from MY experiences the the black men/families with whom I have been involved that my experience has been that I see more health conscious and discipline in the black communities with whom I associate.

Now-I just wanted to know if anyone has or has not had experiences.

Now excuse me while I suck down this twinkie.

 

I don't know if it has anything to do with being a black guy or not, but let me tell ya, i LOVE sleeping. I function the best when i can get at least 10-12 hours every night. If i'm not at class, at the gym, or on the computer, i'm SLEEPING :smt015....lol.

 

This is an interesting topic. Well, the reason why i don't smoke is because i'm very athletic, and smoking would slow me down waaaay too much. I also know full well the strangle hold that being a smoker can have on you because for 10 years, i had to watch my mom go through a pack a day....she was slowly killing herself (she eventually quit of course). And the reason why i don't drink is mainly because i don't want to inherit the type of alcoholism that my father has. I think that true alcoholism can be inherited, so in order to avoid being just like him, i pretty much avoid it altogether. Not even so much as a sip for me.

 

I look for KINDNESS and self-repect/restraint in a woman..if I don't see it I ain't interested..

I'm not ever seen in a stereotypical way because there's nothing stereotypical or typical about me..so i don't attract women who are into judging mofos..

 

I guess you are so use to seeing or hearing about black men as alcoholics, drug addicts, chain smokers, always out late, always late for work, cheating on their wives or girl-friends, eating fried foods, always in jail and the such. If you are attracted to these type of men and want this type of drama in your life then more power to you my dear.

In the meantime I am more than happy to be the "square black man" that you may have problems with.

 

I would say most of us who have been dating BM for a while, know that the stereotypical time you mention above Howie, is not true. We also know there are losers in every race.

 

Howie- I am curious where you see I enjoy men who drink smoke etc.

I am making your point. My experiences do not fit the statistics.

 

I kind of thought that was what you meant.. not that you agreed with it

 

Excuse me but what do you mean BM are very square ?

I'm a Black man, not square and all the brothers that I hang with are hip.

 

It has been insinuated that I am square. While my friends/acquaintances are buying new cars & accessories I keep passing up on my chance to have my new Chrysler 300,G35, or Ram Pickup because I like the freedom from notes, but mainly I don't want to have divert money from my 401k/IRA for car payments.
Worrying about a 401k/IRA at my age over shiny new wheels & such I guess can be viewed as square in a young man.

 

square in that aspect sounds like a good thing to me..


sounds like intelligence and knowing when and where to spend money! A lot of people (men and women) could take lessons from you!!

 

I gotta say..

I haven't actually heard the term square since.. damn.. the 70s?

has it been revived?

and if so..

are things groovy again too?

god I hope not

 

I'll just jump in quoting THIS for the time being:

And I think we all already know why.

Hell yea.

THIS LAST PART CANNOT BE REFUTED.

 

ok.. are you trying to say Daphne is a troll too?

 

No.