Stipulations?

In my limited time on this here ball of various combinations i have as many on this site and else where tried to find some connection with some one.

Life is rough and often times having other than your family behind you is a comforting thing. I guess it is something instinctual in humans to seek connection outside of your genetic or blood line.

But in this search for holy perfection we often time put conditions on it to buttress or place us in a better position in the world.

I found though as grown increasingly older and a lot more cynical that intimate connections, true intimate connections, are not made by plans or even often times by attraction but by circumstance and opportunity.

Attraction is often times a misnomer when it comes to matters of the heart.

so are we so quick to try to stipulate attraction.

What are the personal stipulation have you placed on a relationship that when you look back may have destroyed something promising?

What truths have you denied to have the ideal relationship in your mind?

 

I tend to look at this agrument from this perspective: we arbitrarily decide to place stipulation on our attractions; these stipulations are relative to the place and condtions that we are in our lives. There is an inherent contradiction in our stipulations. I say this because attraction and connection are contradictory by our concepts for each independently.

 

On another note, I can assert stipulations have their consequences and their benefits. For one, one inherently has the freedom to consider; on the other hand, like other freedoms, it's based on desire and what feels good, not what is good.

 

and like all selfish response there is a positive and negative to them. Selfish responses to outside stimuli are selective at times but underpin the progression of human social interaction and survival some would argue.
A stipulation to or for relationships goes on the lines of propagating genetic needs and selfish needs. The two become interwoven for the success of mating of propagation.

 

Yes......"Attraction" is just smoke and mirrors, deceptive and crooked. As rational as one can be, I have taken the stance of complete relativism for instance: just because I am "attracted" to a women, doesn't mean I will connect with her on a cosmic level. A stipulation(spiritual connection for instance) would contradict my initial feeling. I do not necessarily believe that there needs to be a stipulation for successful propagation; I fine example would be a "Player", but I can assert boldly though, understanding and receipting each others "stipulations" will lead to a more fulfilling relationship. The negative of stipulation is that, one can put amountous time into finding someone to fit in these "stipulations" when they may have become unrealistic.