strange. i didnt remember my life taking on this direction.

hey, i cooled off and now im back(sort of) long time lurker, occasional poster, yadda yadda.

I've been on the grind for a few a while now and Im starting to realize that I have placed myself into a bit of a corner. I am black and male, my girlfriend is obviously white. Not so strange, actually normal. But whats getting wierd is my circle of friends. My living situation: two white girls, one white guy, four of us total. Outside of that, a large chunk of people that I know and spend time with are....you guessed it, white. I do have a circle of black friends that I see on a weekly basis. It's strange to be the lone chocolate chip, not strange as in "dear lord, do i feel outed!" but more on the level of "times have changed...."

i guess what im trying to get at/ask is anyone else in a similar situation? to the white people here, are you mostly around black people? and to the black people here are you mostly around whites?
a few thoughts on the idea would be key.

 

I have been in many social situations and far too many business situations were I was the only black person. I never felt strange about it but I know that white people are not the real majority so I've thought about that for a minute or two and I've often wonder if that's why race is so important to some.

From a friend standpoint most of my close friends are black with the exception a close friend who is a white guy.

The way I look at it is like this: Friendship is something very real to me so if I call you a friend I'm calling you a brother or sister [not brotha or sista] but blood. And like love if it's real - race makes no matter.

If I made it point to only be around any one group of people then I would be concerned about what is in my psyche. But I don't see it as a problem or source of concern if it just happens to be that way.

If the people you live with stop paying rent then you have a problem...

 

When talking about friends, I've been around mostly white ppl since I was a little kid...of course I never felt strange until I reached the age of about 9, when my black friends started telling me that it was weird...I guess I got lucky bcoz in my family there were already some mixed couples, so I didn't feel like I needed to choose a side...

Strangely though, at the age of 17, I had my first white gf (who was my second overall) and I felt extremely strange and it took me about a month to get over the fact that I was having a (sexual) relationship with a ww.

Up to now, I'm mostly around white ppl, including my gf, and I'm also the lone "black star" in the circle of friends ...and it just feels like the most normal thing in the world...probably also bcoz it feels totally normal to them (note, 90% of them are European though!!)

Peace!!

 

People tend to be socially attracted to their own ethnic grouping based on how they've been raised. Even when they move out of their home towns to study, etc, they tend to gravitate to people who look like them.

Plus, many people practice what I call 'self-imposed aparthied', whereby they only want to associate with others on condition they share the same ethnicity.

 

CONVERSATIONS WITH/I never saw my life taking this.....

:? I'd say that I am comfortable with any and all in most situations, but let's say I go to the salon.I feel more comfortable with my Locticia/Braider who is black than any white female loctician on that staff.It feels good to be around the other black women in general and just talk.
My band is diverse.We're a four piece electronic pop outfit;we have two white guys, a Latino, and me as a black guy.
If I go the club, I prefer a large gay(any ethnicity)and white female population.
I was married to a white woman, and so were all her relatives.No issues there, and felt good around them.One thing I have to admit about myself is that I can become friends with anyone over time, but if not business or work related, I find I don't have any white male friends.
Now, you get the crossover because my bandmates are my "fraternals" in a way, but hmmmmmm outside of that circle,in my life of late, that doesn't come around as much.
Sorry for the rambling, it just got me thinking a little.

 

You're gay?

 

I'm a ww and i've always been around a mix of ethinicities. Once i started seeing my bm, i was around his family very often which is mostly black people with 2 exceptions. We hang out with my family too which is all white people. Our groups of friends changed in college with him having white and black friends, both male and female and me having more black friends. I had 2 best girlfriends, one white and one black/white/mexican mix and the majority of my male friends were black. I agree with you, i love seeing that times are changing and that blacks don't have to feel uncomfortable around whites and vise versa.

 

Yes, I pretty much have my own crew. 4 white girls including myself, 3 black girls including my best friend, 5 black guys including my baby, and 2 white guys. I love my crew though. We're like a family and I don't know what I'd do without them. Just love them to death and we go basically nowhere without one another. I mostly hang out with the girls though because we have to do our girly business lol. The guys don't mind. They'd rather we do that than drag them along with us. Most of the times though we go to the movies or amusement parks. Working together, school, church. It's been like this for a while.

 

Re: strange. i didnt remember my life taking on this directi

:lol:

Yeah, I know many whites who have black friends and it seems to me that many white women are not opposed to having black male friends as well. I guess it does pose some problems of a white woman who dates white men but has a few black male friends, I often find that many white men are not accepting of his white girlfriend having too many black male friends because he feels that those black men are out after his girlfriend. However once a white man gets to know a black man and doesn't feel that the black guy is out after his girlfriend than everything is okay. Than again I know many white women who have cheated on their white boyfriends with their black male friends, and of course their white boyfriends don't know about it and they assume that they are just friends and nothing more than that. I often find that many black women are not accepting of their black boyfriends having white female friends because they often feel that their black boyfriends will leave them for their female friends and most of the time I have found out that this is not true.
:shock:

 

:lol:

I think it all depends on how you get along with each other and race is not really an issue unless you make it out to be an issue. I often find that my brothers are married to white women and their kids are mixed and they have a mixture of black and white friends. However it seems like their black and white friends are very open to dating outside and makeing friends of different races. I often find myself that in many nightclubs or dance clubs or bars that my group of friends or regulars who go to those places are more white women than black women. Sometimes I often find myself being hit on many times by white women who go to the same nightclub or bar that I go to. And many of them are married or have a white boyfriend and they will come up and tell me that they are looking to try sex with a black man. I often tell them that I am not interested in sleeping with any white woman who is already married or has a boyfriend but it doesn't seem to stop them from trying though. Many times if I find a few black women who go to the same nightclub or bar that they usually don't talk me that much if they see me mainly talking to white women at the clubs. I often find myself dancing more with the white women than I do with the black women are the dance clubs because many of the black women are mainly sitting around and drinking with their girlfriends and I see them talking to mainly white men a lot.