"The Rules" for black men...

Hows about a few rules that might help the prospects of bm in the dating market? Not as individuals, but stuff that bm might do that improves our situation on the whole...

1. Pay no attention to women you aren't genuinely interested in. If you don't think you'll really approach her, pay her no mind.

The reason we have overweight bw women walking around in "ass out" outfits is because they know they can get attention that way. They don't want you, they want the attention. Ugly ass, ugly attitude on the march. Give them the attention and you encourage that nonsense.

The reason we have butt-ugly asian, indian, and Latin women "rejecting" us whether we want anything from them or not, is the perception that all black men want them and we're a dime a dozen. It's no exaggeration to say that Indian women, Latin women, and Asian women think EVERY black man wants them. Counter that perception by paying no attention to any one you have no plans to approach.

Also -- keep in mind that some of them will come on to you, just because they think they can get an easy rise out of black men. They just want to feel attractive. But YOU should be the one that calls the shots -- so if you wouldn't be interested in her otherwise, ignore her.

A lot of these women are status-worshippers anyway, natural snobs coming out of cultures of rigid social stratification and status-worship. Understand that nothing moves a snob like snobbery, so if you really want them to value you, snub them. Believe me it works. There's a chick at my gym that's all but going crazy because I won't even look in her direction. Nothing moves a natural snob like snobbery. Believe it.

It's one of those little truths about people, like: "women respond well to genuine flattery" & "women are attracted to confidence" & "bullies are cowards". Nothing makes a snob more attracted to you than you snubbing them first. Understand that.

I hope you guys wouldn't want those kind of women anyway; (I sure as hell don't), but understand the point...

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So -- anyone else care to keep this thread going with more rules that might improve the status of black men in the dating market? (Not in relationships -- what you do there is your own business -- but in basic dating -- first date or prior...)

 

2. Be careful of ww that fall into this category:

They also want attention. They may believe that this is how you get attention from a bm. They fail to realize that bm can be attracted to natural beauty, class, and personality.

The following are for internet daters. Don't take them as truth, they're just my opinions:
3. Do not identify yourself as "chocolate" anything unless you see yourself as a flavor of ice cream. Do not identify yourself as "9 in. or whatever in." or "massive cock" unless that is how you want a woman to simply see you as. BM have argued plenty on this site, with reason, that bm are not taking seriously in society. If there is more to you than a large, black cock please do not make that the first thing the woman hears about. And if there isn't more to you than the large, black cock then don't bitch when that's all they want you for.

4. I haven't seen this on these personals but I do on another site I have a personal posted on (yes, I'm back to that again):
Do not post a picture with you and a whole gang of white folks or another ww. Just because I am a ww doesn't mean you have to hang with a whole slew of white folks in order for me to like you. If that's who your friends are, fine. But, I think that they do this so that I'll think they can relate to white people. Honestly, no one should be in your picture but you. Learn to crop.

 

I will tell you this, you pretty much laid it down. I have been doing that for years, and what trips me out, is that many women won't stop until you pay them some sort of attention. I have had women flirt so hard that they were practically playing themselves in the process. Then, when you finally step to them--after they have been flirting with you like crazy, and their interest is blatantly obvious--they want to give you the cold shoulder, as if you were sweating them, when it was them sweating you. I notice that most of this behavior comes from women of color too. It comes from the fact that many of them are secretly attracted to black guys, and hate the fact that they are, and amongst many of them, it is seen as not a cool thing to do. So they try to firt and stuff when they have no intention of taking it to the next level. I am beginning to find women of color a waste of time. Even if they show any sort of interest, I don't even pay them attention at all anymore.

They are hoping that YOU do something that will convince them to take th e risk. I ain't gonna do nothing, because I know the game. I just get tired of the way many women act. They automatically think, if they are attractive, assume that if they show a black man a little bit of attention, he is going to come running. And if you don't they lose self-esteem big time, when they know that they really like you. Nah, not this black man. Not out of fear either, because you know that many of them have no intentions but to feed their egos.

If they see a handsome, well-dressed black guy, they almost get angry about it.; esepcially sisters. Black men that are decent -looking get treated worse than anyone in this country. People can look at a black man and tell when he has confidence, and many women don't like that. They don't like being attracted. So they start trying to put up resistance when you haven't said a word or suggested anything to them at all. I haven't ever seen other men get treated like we do, just for trying to keep themselves up and walk with pride. I have NEVER seen it.

I am not going to lie man, I see brothers with different women out here alot. However, you better believe that it was a hit and miss game with them. Some brothers don't care how many times they get rejected. Honestly, rejection doesn't bother me either anymore. It is just part of the game. However, what insults me is women who you aren't remotely attracted to, acting as if you are going to step to them. Women who have never been approached by black men in their lives. Their fear is irrational. Sometimes, you have to wonder if it is even fear, or more like repressed attraction. Most of the time, when people tend to overdo something, they probably feel the exact opposite of the way that they are acting. However, I don't care either way really. That is their trip, not mine. Admittedly, I used to get extremely bothered by the actions of some of these women, because I didn't understand what I did to convey to them a message that would cause them to act like that. Not anymore, because I realize that their actions make no sense, and I just ignore them like you said..

With some of these women, I could understand if they had brothers stepping to them left and right. But, much of the time, many of these women are totally ignored by the average black man. I could look at a woman and tell on the spot, which ones black men are attracted to. And the funny thing about it is, the ones that are fine, aren't the ones that are tripping around black guys. It is the ones that aren't. They aren't even the type that black men would look at twice. Many may be just genuinely unattracted, but why go to extremes about it? If you aren't attracted, then just keep it moving. That is the way that they act with men of any other race. However, they have to go the extra mile when it is a brother, even when he hasn't looked her way. I find this behaviour to be extremely apparent with many Asian women as well. You haven't even looked at them, and they are already tripping.

Many decent-looking black women do this alot as well, but for them it is a little more understandable. They probably have been hounded a little by brothers. But Asian women? HAHHAAHAHHHAHAH!!! Maybe some of the Philipino chicks, but the others. I don't even look at them twice.

I find many them to be bland and unattractive. You are looking more at their behaviour and the way that they act than you are at them; because you wonder why are they acting out of character. If you so much as stare at them, they trip out. If you so much as glance at them, they are totally extreme with it.

Women of color do this stuff big time for some reason. However, these same women of color make themselves too easy for a white guy. There is nothing prideful about these women. In fact, many of them have low self-esteem; including black women.

Like I was saying a long time ago, it isn't the thugs and the criminals who suffer, it is the decent black men that people try to hurt, to people you are starting to step out of your place. However, I can count on my hand the bad interaction I have had with the males of any race--except Hispanics. Even Asian men are okay. But their women are something else. It is the females that will give you problems outwardly. Alot of people may be racist, and even hate blacks, but the women tend to try to go the extra mile as far as it is concerned. However, the hatred isn't displayed to the black men that people KNOW don't have anything to lose--I.E.--thugs-- it is to the ones that look as if they have a future.

Nobody likes seeing a black man who has it together....Nobody, not even black women, no matter how much they protest to the contrary.

Anyway, everything you said is what ALL black men need to do, because it makes common sense to do so; especially black men who think anything of themselves.

I can't add anything from, nor take anything away from what you said. The only thing I can say is that it can sometimes cause you to miss out on women who are genuinely interested, because you can never tell their intnetions. I have had so many women flirt with me, that I don't even pay them attention anymore, because the minute you step to them, they act as if you are getting on their nerves. Many women can't decide if they like black men or not.

Later,

 

Hahahaha! I've seen very few personal ads by bm who don't mention the size of their cocks within the first paragraph, or at least the second! And if I see one more "Ebony on Ivory" header I think I'll scream!

 

Concerning the topic of ww who are attracted to bm. It is from my experience, if ww has an general attraction to bm or any man for that matter, no matter how attractive she may be, she will have no problem approaching you; or, at least initiate contract and conversation.

Tolerance, for female dilemma. Women, will be women, no matter what hue and domination she may be.

The problem is, women who are the aggressors expect men to reciprocate positively on their actions.

 

That guy is weak. (And probably is gay.)

His situation has nothing to with the fact that black men should value the esteem they can bestow on some women, by not being so free with it. Not all women are worth it.

If you have it going on, make special women feel special. The rest of them are trying to cut you down using racism to feed their ego, and the right response is to cut them down in return. Believe me, they take it harder than you do, so you can be effective, especially if you have it going on. The goal is to make these "snob" slobs not be so presumptuous...

Don't leave them the impression that every bm wants them and we're dime-a-dozen. Women who are worth it should get the props, the ones that aren't should "catch the vapors"...

That's true. It's really hard to see, unless you're a bm beset by this shit, and studying it analytically. Many of these women are torn between trying to think they're "above" black men -- adding "free points" to their pinhead egos -- and being attracted to black men; bothered by feeling ignored by bm.

Their ideal world would be that we hound them and they, in turn, on their pedestal, reject us. It fucks with them when they, in their "high station", are the ones attracted to a bm, yet the bm doesn't want them.

Best bet for all of us: if you don't want a particular woman, pay no attention to her, and have no props for her. Snobs understand snobbery and respond quite positively to it.

Because the women know that it reflects badly on you if you respond to their shit in any way. A guy can give you dirty looks for nothing, but he risks getting into shit over his head. But what are you going to do to a woman?

Personally I'm an advocate of flipping them the bird & such, 'cause this shit has got to stop. No one should have to go through life being a target of this shit, so there should be some response to it.

Starting with, again, not being so free with who you give props to and who you're friendly or flirtatious with. If all black men did this, maybe we'd find these women would try to thoroughly ignore us in return. Problem solved.

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...& I'll tell you something else: When you studiously ignore a woman who's attracted to you and she tries to ignore you in return, you're in complete control, because 99% of the time, she's going to feel good if you're even willing to look her way. No more haughtiness, no more rejectionist bullshit. Black men have to learn how to carry themselves. You have to play the game, it's part of life among the pinheads.

Tension truly fucks with people. But you're a black man -- you've lived with it forever! It fucks with them more than you. Use that to your advantage.

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Fuck asians. Really --do they even still exist? I pay absolutely no attention to asians, and I feel sorry for any black man who does.

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Efforts to demoralize, and cut off the nuts, and destroy the minds of bm are pretty much built into this society. We bear the weight of everyone's ignorance (including our own).

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Naahh, not really. I'm not saying you should snub ALL women; I'm saying you should be the one in control, meaning if she's worth the overture make the overture, if not, let her know through your demeanor that she ain't shit.

If a woman is really attractive, she's worth the risk you run of rejection. But a woman you're not so attracted to? You're playing us all if you make overtures to her, or entertain her overtures, as if ANY woman is worth it to us "lowly" bm. That's what I'm saying.

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We need to chill a bit regarding who we make overtures to, who we entertain overtures from, who we're friendly with, etc... Right now, everyone is allowed to be friendly with us, yet we're not allowed to be friendly to anyone, no matter how we carry ourselves or present ourselves.

I've had white male bums come up to me being friendly, as if, as a bm, I'm going to be friendly to anyone. Me, I take into account that I could be outfitted in a 3-piece suit and step out of jag & get snubbed because I'm a black man. So no -- when the bum comes up to me my demeanor says back the fuck up. My props and esteem are dispensed selectively and with a purpose in mind, be it bridge-building, or letting a fine woman know if she wants to get to know me, I'm here. My esteem is worth something, so it's dispensed selectively, especially given the challenges I face in this society.

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The deal society wants us to accept is: "You -- don't speak unless spoken to, and you're lucky if anyone will speak to you!" I don't see anything so great about other elements of this society that bm should be ready to accept such a deal.

Anyone can ask you for the time of day -- indeed, you should feel happy they're not "fearing" or hating you -- yet you can't ask anyone for the time of day without tension. Fuck that! If I can't ask them without experiencing scorn or snobbery, they can't ask me without experiencing scorn or snobbery.

...Unless, of course, they're a "privileged group", which in my case are ww (because I like ww & aim to build bridges) and bw (because I'm not going to be as ignorant toward bw as bw are to me).

 

I disagree. I believe these women are attracted to bm but they can't decide if they can handle what society would think of them for loving a bm. It is much easier to be w/ a wm, however I never wanted love to be "easy."

Exactly! Their "white privilege" makes them believe that they are entitled to bm. There are PLENTY of ww out there that believe that every bm's fantasy is any ww. Too bad these women have little qualities to compete besides their own "entitlement."

Did you honestly make that comment??? I don't even know where to begin. So, you don't have a preference for Asian women. That's cool, that's all you have to say. But, a ridiculous sweeping generalization like that???

 

Actually, we're not much talking about ww in the posts above. WW come in two basic varieties: they're either interested or they're not.

Most of them don't do ridiculous shit like study you until they get your attention, then dramatically roll their eyes toward the sky when you look at them, as if YOU are interested in THEM, and have been studying them, rather than the other way around.

Where I live there are a lot of Dominicans. The women will sometimes walk into your path, to get your attention, then show you hate when they do. They either want you to want them, or they're just being spiteful and trying to demoralize a black man that has caught their eye (ENVY). Either way, it's stupid, and that's the shit we're talking about above.

Pinhead shit like that is more the province of attention-craving minority women, not ww. Not that ww are perfect, but just calling a spade a spade...

What generalization is that?

Anyway, I won't even get into this discussion with a white woman, because you have no clue of the shit a black man sees from these people, being envious and spiteful and trying to prove themselves worthy of "white status". Let's not sully the board with such a topic.

There are sites on the web set up for asian women and black men -- quiet, static, cobwebby little outposts I'll bet (as they should be). If you crave that kinda "love" a google search will take you right over.

 

Are you serious that you haven't seen attention-craving "ghetto-acting" yuppie ww? Actually, the gym is the perfect place to watch this. Ww strutting around, stretching, tripping over a bm to get his attention and then freaking out when he comes near. Ahh, a scary black man! All he wants to do is rape me! Deathly afraid but turned on at the same time. And if he talks the them? Then the nose turns up!

You are right, I have not been a bm experiencing racism from an Asian woman. Never claimed to be. I just feel sad for you that you are dismissing a whole group of people because of the actions of a few (in comparison to all Asian women). Hmmmm...sounds like when someone views the actions of a minority and applies them to the majority that's a "generalization." I'm not speaking for Asian women, because I am not one. I am speaking towards "fucking" a whole group of people.

 

Speaking from experience, the sad part about this, is that, it happens very frequently. So I play the game, it is all psychological. Now, what if the tables were turned? It would be all over the media. I could see it now.

 

I salute you Sun.......!!!

Here is a Blackman who has self-esteem and I like that.

I have had Indian women do that to me...tripping when I am busy minding my own business.
They assume EVERY Blackman is interested in them.
And they think they are doing you a favor by flirting with you.

I walk away and not look back,then I sense the hatred from them.

I believe Lainarain has genuine love for Blackmen.
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I also believe that women of all races don't like a man who has no self-esteem.

:roll: :roll:

 

Always a good thing to do. You should always turn ideas over & over in your head to see if they really hold water. Even your own perception it's okay to doubt -- to an extent. (Ask Lexington. She says we should "just accept the way we see things". lol!!!!)

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Anyway, check it out: this evening I stepped through my 'hood with a tall beautiful woman that I like, and watched

1. an older Asian delivery man on a bike give me dirty looks.
2. dominican women give my date dirty looks
3. dominican men give my date dirty looks
4. white men give my date dirty looks
5. mexicans give my date dirty looks

With that in mind, let us begin...

It doesn't require conspiracy. All it requires is a lot of vanity and stupidity. Stupid, pig-fed people are spiteful, and they'll be spiteful in pursuit of vanity, especially against "easy targets", such as blacks.

Stupid, pig-fed people are also prone to envy, and yes, will vent it, especially against easy targets, such as blacks.

Put the two together and a black man that attracts their attention gets a lot of hate, especially if he attracts their attention for the "wrong reasons."

The classic example is the white guy who hates the black guy because the black guy has a nicer car.

It doesn't require conspiracy, just a lot of stupid, overfed, small-minded types, and a socially sanctioned target.

Black men are the only men who go through that shit, because there's no taboo against being an asshole toward a black man.

And weak? Has nothing to do with weakness. If they knew something about their target in advance it may have something to do with whatever they know about him. But spotting weakness? These people are typically the epitomy of weakness: weak mind, weak body, weak spirits, etc. How do they suddenly becomes good judges of what's weak?

Besides, everyone is happy with a weak man -- he's no threat, so he gets little hate.

Yet....

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Dirty looks from Black, Spanish and Asians women as I walk alone.

Dirty looks from white men, spanish, asians and blacks for any woman who would dare to date me.

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Why can't you guys see this shit as taking liberties and stop writing this shit off as "paranoia"?

Stop being stupid. You're responsible for your environment, and you need to learn to come together, think practically, and regulate your environment. Stop letting shit get out of hand.

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Why should it be either stay alone or catch a sentence for stomping some worthless middle aged delivery boy?

You can't even stay alone in peace! Chimplike, grease-fed retards show you hatred if you happen to catch them (fascinated) studying you.

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Guys, fighting back takes numbers in order to do it without drastic shit like violence. Fighting back is a continuum, from shit like "pay no mind to women you have no love for so maybe they'll stop looking for attention" to "don't buy at businesses run by fools from cultures that have a reputation for turning all their 'social capital' over to anti-black racism" to "visualize the range of ways to react when pork-fed dullards summon the nerve to insult your woman because you're a mixed couple" to whatever... A continuum.

Why not try the easy end of the continuum first?

You need to get serious about the respect you get (or lack thereof). And serious means effecting solutions before it comes down to stuff that means you'll end up just another nigger in jail.

Even the women disrespecting you can lead to that shit, if they decide to go overboard, and their "man" gets called in on it.

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It's sad the way bm are so soft on people casually disrespecting them and their rights. For fun even! No wonder women don't want to have your baby -- like, what will you stand up for? If it came down to it, would you even stand up for your kids?

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Exactly. So you do agree that the cultural trend among these people is more harshly anti-black than even ww. So you understand my point, in spite of your questions about these pinheads somehow seeing "weakness", and in their lofty "virtue" and "strength", hating for it.

Well to those women I offer no apologies, because for one they're getting the better end of the deal. What big sacrifice are they making? Asians, and Latins in particular, are quite accepted by the bulk of black society. Blacks aren't accepted by their societies. Her man will swallow more spite than she'll ever swallow, from HER culture, just like I said. Are you saying I should apologize from pointing that out? I don't get what you're saying.

Besides, no one said the women are being used or doing the guy a favor. If you're going to ask genuine questions, you need express your questions more clearly.

No problem, dude. I'm happy to entertain questions about this shit, because there is a problem and there are solutions to the problem.

 

No big loss. Fact is, you don't see what I see because you don't have to. If you did, you'd see that it's actually the few that are decent people, and the majority that are fucked up.

 

Really enjoyed your post Jaydun. I liked the part when you mentioned how really good looking girls expect you to drool all over them. That's so funny because i usually look for a moment, and then keep going. For some reason i think their beauty (if there is such a thing) just isn't enough to stop me dead in my tracks. Beauty along with a smile....that's great, but just beauty alone, nah, that won't be enough to get me to stop and appraoch her. Another good point that you made was how it's usually the most unattractive girls that have the worst attitudes towards black guys, and i totally agree. Some of the prettiest white girls that i've ever seen are usually the one's who warm up to black guys the quickest. The pretty white girls, as strange as it may sound, from my experience with them, are usually the one's who are more comfortable being around black guys. Kinda weird huh???

 

Jaydun you are so right. the racism of white privilege and hatred for black anything, esp black success is so apparent.
ww love the music, the styles of black culture but many hate black men looking at them or ignoring them
that is just pure racism

good black men are despised by black women and ww, they are hated by black men and white men. It is because we are a threat I guess

I agree with all you wrote man

 

Well, if you are only playing devil's advocate, then you sure are damn good at it.

 

And, I must say that EVERYONE in here has made nothing but good and intelligent points so far, and MOST of the things said in this discussion couldn't have been said in another better way.

 

GMIL: to those who would try and disprove my claim--I would say come to Philly and walk around town with me.

They would get first hand the bigotry and hyprocisy of these people who say they are liberal and open minded whites. They would experience what I experience every day, noses turned up, staring right through them, crossing the street when they see a black man coming--even if he is in a business suit, frowning when a black man smiles that them

 

Some cities in America can be a hassle, but make sure you stay out of the county areas.

 

Not long ago BM knew all these things..

Brothers used to know how to carry themselves