which is Prefered?

Ok I am a 26 yo virgin, and I am not ashamed to admit it. Basically after I finished with college with my virginity still in tact I said to myself that I got through 22 years why not just wait until I am married. Basically over the last 4 years I have dated nothing too serious really focused on career and everything. Well now that I am dating more and attracting a "higher caliber" of woman it is getting harder and harder to stay the course. Somedays it like I could care less about having sex, other days it like why am I putting myself through this.

Most recently I had been seeing this woman, she is absolutely gorgeous (5'4", 105 lbs, shoulder length staight blond hair, green eyes, slim waist, perfect proptioned, with T&A, and the face of an angel. basically a really hot cute girl, my dream girl physically) . Well I had her over for dinner at my apartment, things started to progress to the point where she wanted to go into the bedroom and I wanted to also go in. She is ready, willing and able. All of a sudden even though I want her more than anything I cant bring myself to go through with it, eventhough I really like this girl and she really likes me. She got really upset and took it that I wasnt attracted to her, and although I explained to her that I was a virgin she didnt take it well and that was the last I saw of her.

That wasnt the first instance of indecesion on my part. Basically it hurting me in the dating game. I find myself torn in many different directions. I meet women that a fine with it but then after a while, they leave beacuse they want to have sex. Then I have met those that dated me just because I was a virgin and they figured I was a challenge and all they wanted to do is try to sleep with me. I have met women totally put off by my virginity. What am I to do. Do I tell them right away that I am a virgin or do I hide it. If I tell them I am do I tell them there is no chance I will have sex with them, if I dont when we do progress to that stage do I start something stop and upset them.


What is it that women prefer. Do they appreciate the guy who is willing to wait for that special someone? or Do they want that man who has experience?

I need to know I turn 27 on january 1 and I am going through another christmas and new year/birthday single and lonly. for those who have seen the 40 year old virgin is it time for me to "stop putting the p***y on a pedistal"

 

Women want someone with experience. Not a player but someone who is sweet, handsome, successful, funny, charming, confident, caring, and sexually experienced. They will never admit it but sex is very important to them.

 

you've seen for yourself how much they appreciate it.

and maybe they even do at first but they appreciate and appreciate untill one point, when they dont appreciate it anymore.

Pey is right, except of women not admiting that. Women admit that sex is an important part of a relationship,well most of them. For very few, it isnt. And i dont know whats wrong with them (lol, just kidding).

 

Too bad you can't meet another virgin you are interested in who would actually appreciate your wanting to wait.

Unfortunately its unlikely you will find many women your age who haven't had sex yet.

I have to agree, most women you date, are going to in the end want sex.

Hopefully when you tell them (and I think you should) they will be patient.

 

I honestly think the only woman who will truly appreciate you still being a virgin will be a virgin herself. There will always be exceptions to this those are probably rare.
I personally definitely prefer a man who has experience I think I would actually be kind of turned off by a virgin in my age group (30 to 35 crowd). Just my preference :wink:

 

I respect your convictions, glt1980. However, I would not date a virgin. I would definitely dump him as soon as I found out. So... I would prefer he tell me sooner rather than later. A first or second date is a perfect time - that way there is not yet a deep emotional connection.

I think that I would be afraid that he just doesn't have a high-sex drive and that would make us incompatible (been there, done that... ugh!) and sex is much too important to me for that!

I much prefer a man with experience... someone who knows what they're doing... I have no time to teach! :lol:

But that's just me...

 

I have to agree with the ladies on this one; give me someone with experience. This isn't to say I wouldn't teach a virgin, but he'd have to be willing to give up his virginity, and that might be hard depending on how old he was. There's nothing wrong with having sex--I admire your decision to wait, but it doesn't conform with our cultural standards anymore. I doubt you'll find very many women who want to wait, though they are out there. As the years go by, women are becoming more and more sexually liberated; they are learning what they want and how they want it at a young age. So some women might be intimidated at the thought of having sex with a virgin. Well, maybe intimidated isn't the right word...daunted maybe. It can be rather awkward your first few times, until you start to get the hang of what you're doing, and most women left that behind in their teens so wouldn't really know how to deal with it.

 

If single I would deflower a virgin, but probably not date one.

 

Now I think it'd be pretty hard for a guy to get much action if he's a virgin when he's pushing 30. Now if it's a woman that was still not deflowered I'd think she'd have every guy coming out of the woodwork wanitng to crack that pussy open with there dicks for the first time. It's a double standard but that's how it is with this world.

 

glt1980 you're definitely not alone in this. how soon will marriage be a good thing for you to partake in? i posted a blog in my myspace account about this same thing. well, the responses that i've gotten have been mixed. some girls are intrigued by it, and have asked me what it would take for me to give it up. others have sent me messages saying how inspirational it was. but, there are also some out there who don't want to have anything to do with a virgin because like the ladies are saying, some women really enjoy sex, and they want to do it with someone whose experienced in that department. my advice is, if it's at all possible, search and find someone who is a virgin, or someone who is a born again virgin. then you can get married, and have all the fun and good times you want in the bedroom. :wink: one more thing worth noting is the fact that because a person is a virgin, that absolutely positively does NOT mean that they aren't a sexual person. not at all! it only means that they take sex seriously, and they don't want to do it with just any ol' body you know. :wink:

 

Think it could be fun taking your virgiity. Havent done that for a while! !
As someone else said earlier, i would deflower you but doubt if i would date you.

 

But why sarah23?? To me that just seems extremely shallow. It's almost like sex doesn't have any real value to people nowadays. And i mean real value, not shallow value. :roll:

just for clarification of what i mean:

shallow value=using sex as a means to an orgasm and nothing more.

real value=using sex as a way to show affection and become more intimate with your loved one.

there's a big difference between the two. and forgive me if i'm ranting here, but that kind of reply really hit a nerve with me. :?

 

I feel for you glt & Bryant. I mean what you guys are doing should be commended but instead ladies may not see that as attractive (at least sexually). I mean I been in this situation too. After having lots of sex as a teen, I stopped having sex for about 8 years (for many of the same reasons that I believe you guys mentioned) but said forget it about a couple of years ago. Now of course I'm addicted...lol

My advice would be to search for ladies that have your same convictions. I know that there are plenty out there, especially if you are involved in a church. This way sex should not be an issue. Either way I wish you both the best.

Funny story, my first time having sex again was a total embarassement. I didnt tell her that I was sexually inactive for so long. I thought it was sort of like "riding a bike" as they say. I was literally done in less than 5 secs. I had to confess and she was cool about it. Of course I got my act together but me and the lady didnt make it...I wonder why....lol

 

that is a funny story bmanz..lol and thanks for the encouragement. that means a lot.

 

No problem my man.

 

I am glad to see that there are guys like me out there. It sucks that there is such a double standard on this issue.

The women out there that say that they would go out with a virgin just to devirginize him have not got any clue what a guy in our situation goes through everyday. Between the tempatation of woman and the pressure we face from fellow guys.

Now as for me finding a girl that shares my views I am sure there are plenty of women out there, but I live and work in NYC a place not to conducive for a guy in my situation.

 

GLT, Bryant...whomever,

Sex is not a big deal. There is no need to hold out for the "one". My advice is to get over your stressfull status of being a virgin and go out there and have as much sex as you'd like. Forgod sakes your men! And a man's job is to HIT IT!

You want meaning in sex...You don't have to be on the road to marriage or married for sex to meaning-full. Casual sex with a friend can bring you two closer together. Random sex with a stranger and teach alot about yourself and other people.

just have a good time....