White Women on "Black" Sites??

:twisted: FUGG THE BULLSHIT!
Good evening to my favorite ladies on the web (KnCA, Lipstik, Chi and crew)

I discovered BPM over a year ago. I was bored, so I posted a profile for the helluvit, for about a month. I discovered there were damn near as many ww as bw on there! Y'all know me, the more the merrier! Because I have no problem meeting bw, I decided to use BPM to meet ww since there were so many on there and I seem to have difficulty attracting ww, or non-bw for that matter! That's right damnit! Kiss my @ss if you don't like it!

Anywho, I never met anyone anyway. Point: If you want to post on a "black" site and you're not black, who the hell cares?! If a black man doesn't want to meet you,.......he can ignore the fuggin ad! Pretty gahhdamn simple, right? You think that would be simple enough for simple-minded people right? Fugg'em if they don't like it.

So roam wherever you want ladies. There's plenty of men like myself who are open-minded and logical. :lol:

 

Hey Intrigue

FWIW ladies....there were quite a lot of responses on BPM. It was funny that there were a couple who's profiles went on and on about wanting a black woman though.

I took my profile down...just not up to it.

 

I dont see why a white woman would go to a black man and black woman dating site,when there are sites that cater to interracial relationships.

 

I hope the experience wasnt a negative one. Because I think if you would have stayed there a little longer you would have seen the majority of the BM there welcome you with open arms and show you a lot of love.

I hope you eventually have a change of heart and return one day.

 

JB - it wasn't anything negative about the site at all. I'm just not up to doing the dating site thing in general. Everyone seemed very nice to me.

 

Re: Whitewomenblackmen.com

Exactly. And people make it known who this site is for. Those on Jdate.com (for people of Jewish descent) wouldn't appreciate christians fishing for dates either. Some black sites have an IR section but whites bypass it and go directly where blacks want to mingle. I'm not so sure that's right.

 

It seems like instigation to me. I've lurked on black sites but there are too many that cater to IR so why go that route. Nonblacks are routinely told this is not the site for them so why flip things around.

 

Instigation is a whole different thing. If you're intentionally initiating drama, that's a problem. However, if you relate to a particular culture and you're drawn to it, there aint a problem. AGAIN, for those who have problem with that, you're not obligated to communicate or entertain any contribution from a "non-black". That's just juvenile and fukn silly.

Should white people be banned from watching BET? Come-the-fuck-on folks. Damn near as many white people watch BET as black people. and there aint a damn thing constructive about BET. Again, if you want to harmlessly cruise a "black" dating site, ....ENJOY IT! It's a compliment to me. All the negative stigmas against "ME" in this society, yet there are so many people who see through the bullshit and are drawn to me and my culture. It's a compliment. If you want to be apart of me and my family - WELCOME! I don't give a damn where you're from. I don't like the "anti-anything-but-black" crowd. Ignore the corny-ass "exclusive-clicks"!

The "majority" already does a fine job of exluding anything but white. I don't need to employ that same tactic. I live through it everyday. Fukn nonsense.

 

How is it instigation if you are logging onto a site that you register as you enter into it and it has options for many different ethnicities? If it wasn't ok, they wouldn't have the other options. We aren't talking about forums where people are answering threads or starting new conversations.

As others have pointed out - there would be no way to even know that there are others on there unless someone is doing a search for them. Personally, I wouldn't approach someone on those sites out of respect for the fact that it is a "black site" and my feeling is if they are open to IR dating or interested in me then they would approach me. But that's just me. Others feel that they would approach and give the option.

 

I do not think it is "wrong" persay, but for me it smacks of entitlement.

 

Well said!

 

That's the impression I get. There are sites for black men who date latinas, asian women, white women etc, but to pick one specifically for black men/women is quite telling. This mentality reminds me of that woman who adopted a black child, but is biased towards blacks who adopt biracial and white children. There's definitely a strong sense of entitlement at work here.

 

I find this comment extremely hurtful and completely inaccurate.

 

knca...if there is one thing i have learned it's that porcelainsnowbird is always quick to get her self righteous opinion posted yet we know virtually nothing about her...she blows through here with her snotty comments and quickly vanishes once her damage is done...just not a nice person any way you look at how she posts up...

i hope she finds coal in her stocking

 

Thanks Lipstick

 

Exactly..KnCA is fine in my book...anybody who loves a black child is doing a good thing.

 

Thanks Nate - I appreciate it.

Obviously...I live it every day and normally I really don't give a rip what people think. I have my moments though. I don't know why it would surprise me. The idea of entitlement (by adopting a black baby) though - that's definitely a new one!

 

I apologize if I said anything hurtful to you, but I'm simply struck by the hypocrisy at times and this thread is a glaring example of it. Sorry again.

 

I accept your apology.

And I can understand your point. Maybe it would be better to stick to the conversation at hand though. I started this thread because I had my own uncomfortableness with it all....and yes my own concerns about it. I can see both sides to this one.

The other things you wanted to bring into the conversation were completely inaccurate. Obviously you missed the points of my posts regarding adoption. There is no biased against blacks adopting biracial and white children. I definitely did voice concerns about blacks who were going in and only wanting biracial or white children because they preferred for their children to be lighter.

I think ALL children deserve good families. I don't give a rip what color the family or the children are. Like it or not, the facts are that there are MANY more black babies and children needing homes than there are white, Asian, Hispanic, etc. There are people lining up willing to pay $40K (and much more) for white babies...drug and alcohol exposed, all sorts of mental illness history, etc. And yet there are many healthy black babies born with no one wanting to adopt them and they end up in the system.

My feeling is you are either part of the problem or part of the solution. There are plenty of people out there with all sorts of things to say about it...but I don't see many of them doing much about it.

And yes this happens to be an issue I'm very passionate about.

 

This is true. I know an infertile white couple that went through all sorts of hoops to find a child of their own race to adopt, and still couldn't find one. All the available orphans were black or hispanic. They eventually adopted some hispanic boys, and are all involved are quite happy.

But it does raise the question that in an enviroment where there is an oversuppy of qualified couples of a certain race looking to adopt children of that race, where does the notion of placing those children with couples of another race fit into the picture?

Is placing a child with parents of the same race a valid goal? Personally, while some might disagree, I think it is. Having parents that look like you makes live easier for an adoptive child and sidesteps a lot of difficult social situations that might otherwise arise. Sure, we as adults can be mature and say it doesn't matter, but that doesn't help a 3rd grader on the playground who is singled out for taunting because his parents are a different color that him.

The interests of the child are the only factor that matters, and so long as there are qualified couples of the same race available, I think the bar should be set quite high to explain why the child would be better served by passing over them to place the child with a couple of another race.