Why black men ???

Can any female here tell me the infatuation with black men and why?

 

Are you a woman or a man?

 

Why Black Men

Oh boy! Are you going to get a ton of responses to this question.

I can't answer for everyone, but I prefer Black men, not only for their looks, but their quiet dignity in the face of all the B.S. that they have to take in this society. All of the Black men I have dated are very hard working, great fathers, willing to help around the house, and extremely thankful for being treated like a King whenever they walk into my door. I also must admit though, I prefer associating with Black folk anyway. Both men and women. I am more like-minded with the A.A. community than I am with my white one, and so have very few white friends left. In fact, the two most influential women in my life were A.A. women.

I am also amazed when I hear my A.A. female friends say they "Can't find a good Black man". Look in museums, at art galleries, at cultural events. On college campuses. Not in the clubs or bars. I haven't really met any "bad" Black men, but I'm careful where I search.

 

When I become involved with someone it is not because of the color of his skin but what is in his heart. If the man that I am involved with happens to be a black man it is not because I have an infatuation with black men it is because the guy that I happen to be with is a wonderful person on the inside and that wonderfulness shines through to the outside. The stereotyping needs to stop.

 

Exactly.

 

I like BM because they are more open-minded then white people, and more accepting of others. White people don't like anyone who is different in any way, and that includes people of their own race. i know there are good white men out there, my father is a perfect example of one, but the thought of dating one becomes less and less appealing as time goes by. Some people are born to test the waters between races, and others to bridge the gap. i believe I am one of those meant to bridge the gap.

 

cosmetic... I like your style.

In answer to the question.... the BM I've met and/or dated have all had an innate grace about them. That's a very attractive quality to me.

 

I like that. A lot.

 

I'm not infatuated with black men, nor am I even interested in black men exclusively. I went to school in an area that has a large black population - the area I was in was mostly black - so I was approached mainly by black men. I was in a relationship when I was there so didn't take anyone up on their offer, but the experience opened me up to dating outside my race. I always assumed I'd marry a white man since where I grew up and where I'm back to living now - that's really all there are, and it's socially conservative so I grew up with the notion that dating outside my race was wrong. But, I've been attracted to men from all different races - black, Latino, Asian. In fact, I'm talking to an Asian Pacific Islander guy now, and we're going out for the first time next week. I don't consciously decide to date outside my race - if I'm attracted to someone, I go for it.

I came to this site because I'm thinking of moving back to Columbus again, and I knew it would be easier to find black men there that I'm attracted to versus white or men of other races. I also feel in general (hope I won't get accused of having an infatuation for saying this) - that the average 30-something black male is better-looking than the average 30-something white male. I tend to go for men that are a bit older than myself, and I know I'm generalizing here, but black men seem to age better than white men. I think black men carry off the bald look better, for example - maybe it is just about preferences. Sorry if this response was more than you were looking for. I just don't like the notion that all women here are obsessed with black men. I just love men! :lol:

 

Personally I also like black men. As I've seen most of them are quite intelligent with a handsome look. Most of the girls still prefer tall, dark and handsome men. Although some tall and handsome men want to get fair skin after using Fair and Handsome cream. ...It's really interesting.

 

I don't really care about how much melanin people have. To me it's a strange criteria to use to choose a partner. Especially now, in a globalized world. My previous boyfriends have been white though, probably because the majority of people here are white.

When I met my current boyfriend, It never worried me that he was black. However I did have concerns about him being from a different culture. That is hardly ever an issue though. We communicate extremely well, much better than I experienced in any of my previous relationships. And we have more in common when it comes to education, intrests, values etc.

 

I can't agree with you all, as because I'd seen many people who basically prefer fair skin. Even I am having tan complexion. So, for the couple of weeks, I have been using Fair and Handsome.

 

If that is some kind of bleaching creme then you have issues, not other people.

 

I see many fair skinned people going to tanning salons and using those creams that give you instant tans, brunetts dying the hair blonde, black women straighten their hair, I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

 

Re: Why Black Men

:lol:

 

If you don't know of it by now that is the website whitewomenblackmen.com is all about. The obssession with white women who like black men and black men who like white women. Although I would have to agree with you that women who like men don't necessarily have to prefer black men either. I know a white lady who tells me that she would never date a black man or sleep with one but she admires all the black basketball players, football players, celebrities, and tells me that if she where attracted to black men she would be with one in a second. :lol: Then again I know plenty of black women who would die to be with a white man as well. Most of the the black women told me that they choose to date white men because they want a man with financial security and less barriers to climb. :roll: It doesn't bother me to see a black woman with a white man because if that is what she she wants, then who am I to hate on that sista?

 

Those were cruel, disrespectul, inflammatory, and haughty statements said by those BW. I have heard about many BW who make statements like that as if it is some kind of a truth. Sometimes, if you do not have anything nice to say, do not say it all. Just saying that you love and care for the people you choose to be, regardless of their color, is enough. Why can't some people just defend their choice based on love, connection, compassion, and common interests instead of reverting to WM have this, that, and the other and you don't or I find them more attractive blah, blah, blah, B.S. Or better yet, just say none of your business and move on. If all they are looking for is money and an easier material (so- called stable) life. You're right, ain't worth getting mad over. Don't call it a lost, call it a purification. Also, I have no problems with what people do in their personal life, but just keep the negative and insulting statements to themselves.

Peace.

 

honestly, i dont see where what those black women said was so cruel towards black men...it's just a fact that black men have more barriers to climb (many of those barriers are due to racism and classism) and white men are more financially secure...that's understandable and i think even most black men would agree with that...i don't think that was nessesarily a diss to black men...also, what woman doesnt want financial security?

that being said i wouldnt just go around dating white men just because i think all of them are financially secure....because not all of them are and not all black men are less financially secure than all white men but in general what those women were saying is just true. also, finanacial security shouldnt be the only determining factor when you enter a relationship with someone. there's more to a relationship than financial security.....so that's basically the only fault i can find with what those women were saying. in my opinion what they said seemed more like a diss on white men than anything...lol...because i doubt any man wants a woman looking at him based ONLY on the fact that he's financially secure. that's like saying a white man can't do nothing for me but pay my bills and that's the only reason i would be interested in one.

no wonder so many people think black women in relationships with white men are only with them for their money.... it's because you actually have some ignorant women who say that shit and people take stuff like that and run with it because they want to believe it.

 

It was a diss b/c they used it as a put down and a piss poor excuse not to deal with Black men, basically stating that a man's worth is limited to only what he earns and own. Not taking into account character and personality. That is why it was cruel, rude, and disrespectful and better left unsaid. How would you like it if a BM stepped to you and told you he didn't date Black women b/c they are either overweight or fat and are not health conscious, WW tend to be more likely to stay home and take care of the kids more so than Black women, and BW use relaxers that destroys their hair and wear ridiculous "white girl" weaves that takes away from their beauty than add to it. Why not go for the real thing than a poor imitation. Oh yes, BW are also not financially stable and have too many barriers. These are all true statements for the majority of Black women. However, the context in which it is said can be easily understood as a put down.

Yes, Black men face many barriers (racism and classism), but it is definitely not their fault and they shouldn't be blamed for it as these women tend to do.

Furthermore, financial security is not guaranteed for any man. There is no such thing. Yes, it is more difficult for BM to be employed, to have a decent wage paid to them, and to be promoted to higher positions. Again, much of the reason for this has no bearing on the thinking and actions of BM, but can be traced to institutional discrimination implemented by the same WM these BW are going for in the end. Yes, a WM can have the greatest pay and occupy the highest position in his company and still lose it all. Just to note, BW ain't really doing that much better as mainstream media would like to potray, and there has been a recent rise in the female prison population with BW being the majority of women who are serving time in prison.

You know, there is a such thing as teamwork. These women need to be more willing to work with their men than to leach off of their men. It is not how "set" someone is, but having a decent work ethic, being able to step up to the plate when there is a crisis, and watching out for each other's best interests.

Peace.

 

jeverage... do you have a (much) older brotha/er that thinks the same way as you do? 8) if so, he's miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine :smt048 wink.