WW have WM you dated ever reacted to u dating interracially?

Ladies....

AS a WW that dates BM,..I was just wondering,...if you then date a WM and he learns that you date interracially.

Did he have a reaction to your interracial dating?

If so how did you respond to his reaction?

Lastly, did it have any impact on you dating interracially?

I myself have had various reactions....
-proud that they can compare with the reps of "black men". My reponse was "like whatever"!,...and challenged them on the stereo types.
-Negative, viewing me as goods, or intimidated they couldnt measure up. Immediately stopped dating them , no need for further explanation.
-Inquisitive, some with agenda, some not
-Didnt give a rats ass (the best reaction)...however this was not the usual reaction.

I would have to say that it did impact me dating interracially to a point, the more I dated interacially the more I was subject to some of the reactions and narrowing the field of WM. Please dont equate this to not digging WM so I went to BM,....I already enjoyed dating interracially, just saying it did have an effect on me dating WM.

 

Re: WW have WM you dated ever reacted to u dating interracia

Hi

Didn't you mean "As a WW that dates BM" I didn't mean to correct you but it does make things more clearly for someone new here.

Now in my experience, I find that this sort of resentment is common among all different races of men including black and Asian men also, when it comes to women of their race dating/marrying men from another race. Eventhough these same men will date/marry IR themselves, they still feel territoral about their same race counterparts doing it and that doesn't bother me as long as they don't infringe verbally or physically on my rights to date who ever I want..

My boyfriend's first love was a woman of another race and for the last 6 years he has only dated IR. That is how him and I meet but let him see a woman of his race dating IR and that gets his attention right away.

 

OOOOOOPPPPS thanks for that correction ,...that was a whole different Jerry Springer show I was doing :wink: ,......I have edited the original post.

Your right it can speak to other racial groups as well. I just defined it to WW and BM mainly because its posted on
whitewomenblackmen.com,... and trying to keep the topic somewhat specific, but not wanting to alienate expression from anyone.

Also, when I read the threads posted here that have an expression of resentment between BW and BM, it was somewhat surprising to me to the degree and deepth it was being expressed, perhaps its just this forum.
I wanted to mix it up and see if this exist to some level with WW and WM, and to what level. How does a WW react to reactions of WM seeing her date BM. I am new as well,..and perhaps I have just missed any discussion in this area.

I personally have experienced different reactions and I had many choices on how to interpret and react back.
I could have concealled that I dated IR,
Turn to resent WM for placing a false sense of "claim"on me,
Gotten feed up with the judgements and dated exclusively IR.
Learn that all people have their opinion and if they differ from mine, I still need to respect and in turn be respected back and just move on.

Just wanting to gain insight on the human perspective.

 

Most men hate seeing their women w/BM even if they date BW themselves..

All races of men consider a woman that has been w/a BM to be damaged goods.

The movie "mississippi masala" deals with this subject quite well.

 

Yes ,,..I agree,..and I think even if "they" (and that is a cooperative they, WM, BM, AM) let off that they are cool with it, there is that underlying resentment, which can be the most dangerous resentment of all as you dont really know its there. However leaving it open for people to state their own personal experience

However, my original question goes onto ask if the ladies, white ladies in particular, (as they have not been too vocal on this issue),... If and how they are reacting to the resentment. I just have a feeling they are sweeping it under the rug and not really paying any attention to it.
Yes, no?

 

I could be wrong but it seems whites are more comfortable placing the onus on blacks and don't like discussing their own imperfections. In fact, many won't acknowledge white racism much if at all. They did a segment on black children and their experiences with being adopted into white families....many in Canada. One BW basically said her family glossed over racists acts and weren't equipped to discuss issues with her. flygirl started a thread asking for input from WW and so far they aren't stepping up.

 

Oh think nothing of it because we all make OOOOPPPs once in a while :wink:

I too have seen the reactions and expressions of WM when they come in contact with WW/BM couples and a lot of the looks are of pure anger and disgust. When someone is offended by a pair strangers being together who are of different races, I just add it up to that individual's own insecurity.

I am glad that you didn't choose to conceal it, I do know how uncomfortable other's of your own race can make you feel about dating IR.
I also began to feel resentment me towards men of my race because of their territorial attitude towards me when seeing me out on an interracial date, because I knew, these very men wouldn't have blinked an eye or cared if the earth if I dropped off the face of the earth, if I hadn't been with a man from another race. But then I began to realize that all black men didn't think like this and some bm could have cared less who bw are with and some black men would actually wish me and my white boyfriend well . I think the same thing gos for white men also. You just have to take the good with the bad.

Yeap, I agree, you just got to respect other's opinions as they respect your's and just move on.

 

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Who cares? :roll:

 

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I think he meant who cares what naysayers think about the relationships, Person, or at least that's what it looks like to me.

But, I know as well as you do that it's not only Black Males who catch heat form datin' interracially, but also Black Females, White Males, and White Females also, so you might as well say that when it's a Black Person and a White Person, people always feel angst and disgust by it, but a lot of those same people are hypocrites anyway.

 

Flaminghetero, I agree but this attitude isn't foreign to black people either.
Because many of us hate to see a BM or BW with someone of another race also and will make rude remarks and jump to negative conclusions as to why this black person is with a white, Asian or Hispanic person.

I have black female friends who have been formally been married to, been in relationships with, and/or had children with white men. These same women when attempting to date black men have gotten bad reactions from some black men when they found out that she had been in involved with a white guy prior to them. Some of these BM lost total respect for them and though of these BW as damadged goods also.

 

Lexington and Personofcolor,.....thanks for your input,...you are getting to the heart of what I am asking...


I am treading lightly as I want a discussion based on respect here, and I feel you have given me that.

Could it be true that BW as a whole have experienced racism on average more tham WW, thus when a BW is targeted she recognizes it and responds. Whereas,... WW havent really experienced racism to the same degree. ...and perhaps when she is at the receiving end she is not even recognizing it as racism and thus no real reaction.

AS to whoever said "who cares"...I think its a valid point in that there are perceptions of what racism is, and who is subjected to it. Its all about learning how our behaviour affects others....IF you want race relations to improve ,..I feel it needs discussion.

I am not about "stirring the pot",...if there are differences (which there are) lets try and understand them.

 

I've been cussed-out by BW that have dated WM before on several occasions


Arabs and Italians love BW..but they become murderous when the shoe is on the other foot..BM have been killed for just walking thru italian hoods.

BM are angels compared to other races of men when it comes to this behavior..

You don't hear of BM stomping their own daughters to death or disowning them over who they date..BW have ALWAYS dated whomever they wanted to..nobody knows that better than us

When it comes to getting fucked with..BW/WM don't know know the half of it,because those relationships are apart of the status quo,and were always condoned and permitted.

Until BM start acting like yt boys and arabs I wouldn't even sweat their comments.

 

I am human,..thus imperfect...
To say white place the onus on blacks is a strong statement, however perhaps its been your experience. How unfortunate.

Racism exist in Canada,..but it certainly does not have the same social history as the States,... thus in my opinion racial tensions dont exist to the same degree,....however thats a whole other thread.

My husband is from the states, we choose to live in canada for that very reason alone, mainly because we knew our children would be more accepted.
My kids school the class room is a mix of east indian, asian, white,...not as many black kids but a few,...and we live in the burbs....for the most part race is not an issue.

I have to admit I didnt see the racism that was coming my way at first,..mainly because I was pretty niave to it all. I have no problem what so ever confronting people. Sad thing is people dont even realize that they are being racist...."oh you have the cutest lil chocolate bunnies"...I mean WTF!!!!!!! However when you confront them diplomatically ....you are usually met with extreme apologies.
I do find elderly people asking if I adopted,..and when I say with extreme pride "no they are mine"....I have to somewhat admit I enjoy watching them as they realize not only did I sleep with a BM once,..but I did it three times!!!!!!!!...so it must have not been an accident as I went back for more....LOL

 

i fucking hate people. so much so that i have use the word "fucking" to explain my disgust for the human animals that populate this rock.

i am a black man and i hardly give much of a shit about the way things are. true, i have stated in the past that the black girls i like are mostly into white guys and this sort of disturbs me, but my intent behind my feelings is multilayered.

i make it a point to acknowledge white male black female couples because in my mind, black men have been dating outside of black boundrys for decades. who gives a shit really? fucking human whiners. if i had a gun........

 

Hi Wonderwoman, I must say that I do feel black women receive more racism than white women who date IR. Were as a WW might have only experience racism after her decision to start dating BM. BW and BM due to living in a white society has received one form or a nother of racism all of our lives. Now this is compounded racism for BW (when she dates/marry a white man) by other rejecting, resentive blacks and also by disapproving whites. :roll:

 

I completely feel what you are saying here. All the more power to you for dating your man....he is lucky to have you.

 

My fellow WW,..you let me down,..not one post,...No opinion? Dont be afraid to break the molds....they have cracks in them already.

 

the reason you dont hear any ww responding, is because there is nothing to respond to. their posts are just nonsense. i tried to post a reply, and then i relaized i have ABSOLUTELY nothing to defend. i don't see ww bashing bw on this site (i know i have nothing against bw), so all of their built up hositility is their own insecurities they have created for themselves to argue against with eachother. i take absolutely no offense to what they say. so, to have an opinion on nonsense is not possible...for me at least!