WW - what are your (geographic) preferences when dating BM?

I've often wondered what type of black males WW tend to find the sexiest. I realized this was a strange question, but I became more aware of it growing up.

You know how it is, go to school... make friends... try to mack with some of the ladies... get slapped around a few times

The more I met with different black folks the more I realized how culturally different we can all be. Now this may sound like an obvious statement, but to me remember, as a kid I had a very small tightly-knit group of black friends. This was a predominantly African-American gathering, with a few Jamaicans too.

I always noticed that the Caribbeans got more play with WW than did my homies. When I moved to England this distinction was even more pronounced. Boyz from the West Indies (esp. Jamaica) were extremely popular with the ladies -- far more so than the native British-born blacks. I found this kind of odd - but thought maybe it was just me.


But I read an article a while ago that said the most popular destinations for young (presumably fairly attractive -- though we can't exactly be sure ) wealthy, single white girls were to the Caribbean islands for some fun in the sun (and rollin' round too )


This lead me to thinking about asking the question on this board.

WW enlighten me, from what geographic location do you prefer your BM? And what tends to account for the attraction (in particular) you feel for these types of black males?


For example, do you go for:

1) African-American

2) Caribbean

3) West African (Nigeria, Senegal, Ivory Coast)

4) East African (Somalia, Ethiopia, Eritrea)

5) Other -- please specify


And why do you prefer BM from these parts above others?


Your input would be extremely interesting for me.





-- Please note: For those sensitive souls out there - there are no correct answers; nor am I looking for any. Everyone has a preference of some sort or other; and there is no need to feel ashamed/bad about it. It's just what you like. I prefer choclate to vanilla in my ice cream. With cookies. Thank you for understanding. --

 

I've always found something in common with foreign-born black men since I'm also foreign-born, those who were well read and liked to learn and think, because I also like that... I've had great connections with African men born and raised in Europe. I would enjoy conversing with them. They were kind of in the middle of the Western and traditional cultures. For the same reason I also like to converse with women of the same background. I've had some of my most fascinating conversations with a Malian woman who has lived her adult life in Germany and Canada.

I've never dated an African American or any American men at all. However I had African American male buddies in high school and I remember them as very friendly, they treated me very cordially - in both of the high schools I went to, the one in Queens, NY, and the one in NJ suburbs. My prom date was an African American guy, he took me because I didn't have a boyfriend yet, and many girls were jealous because they had crushes on him. :lol: No wait, I did have a boyfriend. So what happened? ... Oh, that loser had to work the night of my prom! :lol:

 

I definitely prefer African Americans.

 

Hey Sassy, you wouldn't date an African or Caribbean brother :?:

 

My preference is definitely African American or someone European born and raised.
My (albeit very limited) experience with African men have been rather negative and I am not really open to trying again.

 

Culturally and sets of values wise, Europeans. Personality wise, I think I match better with Americans. African, too different civilization than me, personality and sets of values wise, mine not being very traditional, but it could work out ....... :?: I wonder. My boyfriend was British, born and lived in UK, but with Jamaican parents, and he had a warm and fun personality, and y'all know I liked him (since I had a relationship with him), so, Carribean would be oooooooookay too :smt023

 

That would depend on the man.. Caribbean men definitely are a turn on for me and smooth as hell.. I probably could be smooth talked into dating one.

African.. well... that would depend on how we met, who knew him, how much I could really believe he was dating me for me... and not for a green card.. You see I was duped once by a Kenyan. He was wonderful when we dated, because he had a plan in mind and nothing was going to get in his way... but once the wedding was over, I found out he was a liar and only after my bank account and a green card... both of which he got.

 

That sucks Sassy. My jerk for a stepfather pulled that same crap with my mom (he was from Nigeria). I NEVER liked him. I always knew he was up to no good. :evil: I don't have anything against Nigerians at all, i just didn't like HIM. My mom will definitely have to seek my approval next time before she marries again.... lol

 

It seems like everytime I read something negative about a certain demographic/geographic group of black men in here (mainly Africans) there is always someone else who has nothing but positive things to say about them. In the long run, we all learn that no matter where people are or where they are from, people are people, the good and the bad.

 

African-American men. My global preference is American men really. I traveled a lot as an army brat. Overall- American men hands down are just amazing.

I traveled extensively throughout the African Continent during grad school.
With all the talk about cultural differences between American whites and blacks you would be amazed at how much more similar we are once you date a man from Africa or Caribbean. I have more in common with Afr Am men than Afr Amer men have with black males from any other country.

NOW-that is not to say that I could not like a black guy from any other culture. And some of that depends on the country. I would have a hard time as a woman with an American cultural mindset dating men from certain African countries. In certain countries gender roles and values are more specific and sometimes quite oppressive. Of course there are wonderful men from all over Africa Europe and Latin America that could be wonderful mates for me but the above is my preference.

I lik

 

Re: On Experiences with African Men

It pricks my heart to read about the overwhelmingly negative impressions a good number of white women here seem to have of African men, although I can understand much of it is based on personal experiences. I just want to say that not all African men are that way. I'm not the kind of guy who would consider marrying someone just to get a green card. First of all, I'm a sensitive guy. I care about other's feelings and I don't mess with the heart of a woman, especially if I sense that she seems to be falling in love with me. But reading your posts about African men on this topic wasn't very surprising to me...given the fact that I've heard a lot about that from many people. Unfortunately, it makes all African men look bad in the eyes of those who are unwilling to keep an open mind.

When I first came to the United States, many African-American men in college used to distance themselves from me based on some negative personal experiences and stereotypes they'd heard about Africans. They expected me to look down on them, be arrogant and unfriendly, etc. But when I kept getting close to them to try to know them and they eventually got to know me as a person, they were really shocked and thought I was different from most of the African guys I had met. Today, some of my best friends are both African-American and White American men. Unfortunately, I didn't get the same response from American black women despite how hard I tried to have a good relationship with them. With them, it was always a different ballgame and they seemed more likely to keep those negative stereotypes of Africans in their hearts.

I specifically remember the number of American black women who used to talk about their mothers continually warning them not to get involved with African men due either to negative stereotypes or professed bad experiences. One of the dumbest reasons I heard for that was: African men all believe in getting married to more than one wife and most of them don't use deodorant." Yet in every race and culture, you will find men and women who are more conservative and traditional, and others who are more progressive. African men are no exception.

 

Shaft- I hope what I wrote wasn't offensive. It wasn't meant to be. I think perhaps it could sound negative. I thought to edit it..however, it does me good to correct my mistakes. And I do apologize

I suppose it is hard sometimes to state a preference , give a reason for that preference without displaying negativity towards another person.

I want to add---actually it is silly to lump African men into a definitive category. I mean Africa is a continent, not a country. Each country in my experience had it's own cultural flavor, attitudes, and gender relations.

Some countries had much more progressive cultures and male-female attitudes. In some countries women were very much oppressed.

There is a mistaken notion also that people of Africa have all suffered some great trauma, whether that is poverty,war etc... That is where some of the negative stereotype has come from.

One of the most endearing individual I have ever met is a doctor from Rwanda.

I see my preference for American men the same way as my preference for African American men. I prefer. I don't like any American man. I don't like ANY black man. I do however LOVE my Afr American man!

Oh yeah- and the deodorant thing is hilarious! Of all my experiences in my travels in Africa and of all my opinions (which are many) the one thing I failed to notice was the stink!

 

To the women that prefer african american men. You know african american culture comes in many forms so what kind of an african american man would it be. For instints Im a hip hop cultured african american male.

 

you know what? as much as I was took.. and I'd be a bit leary want to build trust before I'd date an African again, I really am not going to come down on them either. I figure if there are so many that want to find any way they can to get out of there.... there has to be a reason for it. Unless we've walked in their shoes, how can we judge. And it isn't just those from Africa, other places like the Phillipines you see people trying to do the same thing. Maybe if we had things tough, we'd do what we needed to do too..

 

Re: On Experiences with African Men

Shaft, I know there are good people, good men from Africa. I've had friends from there.

they asked for a preference and because of my personal experiences, I tend to prefer to date Black Americans. But it isn't that I don't think there are good honest Africans, or if given enough reason to trust that I would never date one again.

 

You know D, I believe you hit the nail on the head.
For a long time I believed in the unity of race until I meet black people from other countries either through travel or them coming to America.
Cultural differences out weigh race by a million to one.

Although this was not the question, I would have to say that white women from either Canada or the good old U.S. of A. would be my pick.
I know people [men] that that have gotten women from other countries and I don't think I'm up to that task.

It is nice to have some common shared experiences.
I think it makes the race difference much easier to "get over".

 

I wish more white women would give African men more chances as opposed to dwelling on silly stereotypes about us.

 

Re: Stereotypes of Africa/Africans

QSassy and others, with all due respect to you, I would suggest that you take the media's stereotypical portrayal of Africa and Africans with a grain of salt. I mean...we're talking about an entire continent with over 52 countries. Yet, the media makes it seem as if there are no cities in any of those countries and that in each of them, people are miserable, poor, uncivilized, and extremely desperate to get out. Africa is no different than any other parts of the world. There are very poor areas and extremely clean, beautiful and affluent areas. I can still remember how shocked many Americans used to be when they saw pictures of the house and city in which I lived before I came to the United States. They were shocked to see people driving cars on clean streets, skyscrapers, beautiful houses, hotels, beaches, restaurants, movie theatres, etc. Yes, very beautiful.

Imagine for example using the poorest, rural areas in the Southern part of the United States to represent the entire country and its people. That's not fair at all, and that's what the mainstream media is doing with African countries. You never hear anything about the positive developments taking place in many of those countries. The only ones which media coverage are those involved in wars, ethnic cleansing and where poverty and strife is rampant.

Also, one mistake many people in America and Europe keep on making is that they tend to assume the overwhelming majority of Africans who travel to their countries do so to escape from misery. Not every African in the United States or Europe goes there through political asylum. Most do so because their families were able to afford to sponsor them throughout their educational pursuits in these countries. Some of them end up getting jobs in the United States and Europe and decide to stay there. Others, still a majority, choose to return to their home countries to contribute to the development of their nations. Sure, you'll find some dishonest Africans...just like you will in terms of people of any other race and culture.

It's sad to see the extent to which the mainstream media's negative portrayals of Africa have had an impact on so many people around the world. Keep in mind that it is done with a specific purpose in mind-to keep people unaware and uninterested in any positive developments that might be going on in the continent. One thing that upsets me the most is when many white Americans, upon finding out that I'm African, always tend to ask me if I plan on returning to my country at the end of my studies in the United States...reinforcing that assumption that if an African is in America, it's most likely to run away from his or her home country.

Something else that bothers me is when I do happen to encounter a good number of African-American females (I haven't experienced that a lot with the guys) who just seem to have absolutely no respect for the continent their ancestors came from. And that's the main purpose of these negative media portrayals: to make African-Americans feel as if they can't relate to anything about Africa these days and to have no sense of pride as to where their ancestors came from. Many African-American females I've met here in Philadelphia for example, despite complaining about racism, see Africans as the lowest group in American social structure: inferior to whites, not good enough and inferior to them and African Americans, etc. They see Africans as their own group of people who they can mistreat, reject and look down upon.

 

Re: Stereotypes of Africa/Africans

Maybe these people should take a trip or two to places like India, Russia Costa Rica, Puerto Rico, the Dominican Republic, Cuba (hell, most of Central America and the Middle East) Cambodia, and other places besides Africa that could be easily classified as an 'Africa-like' country.



http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=3631&start=0

 

Interesting- are you also of an Eastern European background? Likewise, I have never dated an african american man, bar a few dates with one guy. I don't date black men exclusively at all, but will often date African guys- eastern or southern they have been, but that is more due to wehre abouts in Africa people in my country tend to descend/be from more than anything else.

I like what you say though about the education, and wholeheartedly agree that you often tend to find this with African guys whose families have encouraged them to go abroad. My boyfriend who I dated for 4 years was from the south of africa (sorry, trying to protect privacy abit) my current is from the Easty. Both of them agree, and me too, about a 'value alignment' that tends to occur with some African people who may have been raised with a respect of traditional values, as are people of my background. Just little things that some guys whose families have always been in Australia don't always understand- the importance and respect accorded to sharing a meal, the understanding that even if you live together, a boyfriend visiting at the parent's place will sleep in a separate room. I wholeheartedly agree that there is no value whatsoever in generalising, which is why I am using the word 'may'. Obviously, Africa is made of thousands and thousands of very different and specific cultures and it would be extremely derogatory to suggest they would all be similar in any way. I do tend to find, though, that guys from East Africa often crop up as the ones that share similar beliefs to myself.

Sorry- have gone way off topic! I don't have a specifi preference, but do tend to find I enjoy my time with some African men, as opposed to just wanting a 'black guy' because it is often about a common understanding of these things, about the interest I have in learning new languages and the enjoyment I get from talking with people who also speak a number of different languages (even though they might not be the same ones).

I grew up listening to reggae, it's my favourite kind of music, and the traditional music of countries in East Africa particular is quite similar, and I enjoy exchanging on that with guys who do happen to listen to it.

Phew!!! Sorry, long post! So it's not so much about preference, just about often finding similar interest and values tend to be with people from particular places, and you are also learning something new, whether it be a language or whatever, so it works well all round.