"you look like the type that dates white girls"

its much easier to put limits on a group that is perceived as monolithic...instead of recognizing the diversity among blacks..many resort to broad generalizations.

we come in every shade imaginable...from blonde hair and blue eyes, to red hair and green eyes, to brown hair and grey eyes, to every shade of black hair and brown eyes, and skin that ranges from paler than that of most "whites" to skin that is as close to "black" as a human can get and sometimes closer to purple.....

part of the reason American women have attitude is the culture of our society....but part of it is that they are constantly told how undesirable they are and how other women are just better....no American women aren't perfect but we American men have a lot to do with that....we don't always treat our ladies with the proper respect and so they don't respect us back........American women are told how unrefined they are and how uncultured but if you look at the U.S., its only been in existence for 229 years (soon to be 230) which is but a mere pin-drop in the span of history.....overall we lack the culture that others have and that can only come in time....are American men as "refined" as European men.....on average...probably not....but there is something for everyone.........

a lot of guys here have had both good and bad experiences with BW but I think it will always be easier for many BM to get WW simply because there are more of them...quite a bit more, even when you discard the "undesirables" aka ugly ducklings, cuckold gals, racist site gals etc....mostly any successful, well-spoken, well-dressed, well-mannered BM will get the "you look like a serial WW humper" type of brotha look...in many cases people are right....not to say that well-to-do BM only date WW...but their pool of mates is larger than Joe Slim who makes $6/hr....

 

People never really say it but I think that they assume it after being around me for a while.

 

i look like and am the type of guy who dates WW

 

Hey Tucker.

 

Hey Buddy Cris, whats a topic that you think is worth addressing bro?

 

Hey Tucker. Well you'd never guess what happened yesterday. I was speaking with someone from Chicago who came over to handle some business. We had been talking over the phone and sending documents to each other regarding business and everything. For some reason, this guy thought i was white you know why? Because of the way i sounded over the phone and my splendid arithmetical and vocabulary skills. I asked him why he attributed such qualities towards a white man? His reply? "I have made a big fool of myself, i am deeply sorry". Then he confessed to me how much he was shocked when i was introduced to him last week. When he saw i was black, he couldnt believe his eyes and thought a prank was being played on him. He even went far to say that he considered telling my co-workers that he didnt want to work with me anymore but my co-workers and his as well spoke highly of me and he said he'd love to see for himself. He was so surprised at how good of a worker i was and was forced to confess all that to me.

And he made it be known that someone i know at work also told him that he didnt want me at first because he didnt want me to work in a firm full of "gorgeous, eligible pearls. N.B: Exactly his words. He said my boss felt that i had all the good qualities and never perpetuated any stereotypes of a bad black man and so he believed the female solicitors and staff in the firm would wanna take things "further than business". Kinda brings Kevin Hill back to memory huh?

To make things seem more serious, he even told me that the person considered dissolving all association with me when he saw the drastic rapport i had formed with the female advocates and clients alike. Basically, i was getting on so well with the female staff that "they were starting to get distracted". Really? But he couldnt do so as the board of directors see me as a potential partner. So they had to stick with it. After telling me of these things, the gut told me not to mention it to anyone nor take a change in attitude towards him as he'd know but i should keep my cool. He apologised for his ignorant thinkings and said i should keep in touch with him whenever i need his help.

You know, after i learnt of these things, i did something i dont usually do;I cried. :cry: :cry: :cry: I didnt do it at the office as i didnt want anyone seeing me and asking me whats wrong. I was totally disorganised and it reflected in everything i've been doing for the 24 hours. I felt so heartbroken, disgraced and its like i've been taken for granted. Ony my way home yesterday, i cried so much not outwardly, but in my heart and mind. I felt so down and have not told anyone about all of this. I didnt cry because these things are a novelty to me nor because i am a crybaby. I did it for reasons i have previously stated. I've been feeling really low since yesterday and not even my sweet Eva has been able to cheer me up. I have not spoken to her about it but no matter what, she cant understand what this black man is going through. She has to be in my shoes to understand which she isnt so really, only a fellow black male can understand my desolation. Eva cant understand this pain as she isnt black which is my main reason of not speaking to her about it. Makes no difference really.
Despite your efforts to prove people wrong and make the best you can, they still rub it in your face. Man, God help America. :cry: :cry:

 

....[What Cris had said....]... :lol:


Omo Cris, just remember where you dey from, remember wetin ya folks don go thru so u fit become lawyer, remember de source of ya strength, and just visualize success wherever you dey go or in whatever you dey do...as dem dey say for Niaja..."God Dey".

Them go all bow as u dey rise on wings of success because you dey protected...

Just breathe, become ya breathe and keep on keeping on...

 

Okay, I got to say something. If you really are a lawyer, you should know better than this. You just put into print and published on the PUBLIC WWW some serious stuff and attributed it to someone you claim is your client. And, you put their name and city out there to boot. And you drug you boss into it also.

Anyone who has ever been thru any kind of employment litigation KNOWS this is ignorant as shit. Even if you had changed the name of your client (which why even briing a name into it to begin with) who purportedly said that, you STILL published some shit calling out your employer.

 

I wish there was something I could say to cheer you up about it, Cris, but the only thing I can offer is my sympathy. Best of luck to you in the future.

 

I know but thats how bad i felt. Seriously, you're not black so you cant understand how desolate and bitter i've been feeling over the past two years. I understand what you're trying to say but i felt i needed to get the views of other people on this matter. Maybe i was wrong by calling names but the chances of actually meeting anyone i mentioned is pretty slim. Apart from names, i dont recall giving any hints about them like their personal data and stuff.

I understand you should keep some things private but lets be fucking real, NOT RACISM FOR THE FREAKING LOVE OF CHRIST. There's nothing private to be kept about racism.

 

I am not trying to tell you how you should or shouldnt feel. I am a female who has spent 20 years in an almost all male blue-collar work environment. I may not know what it feels like to be black, but I DO know what it is like to be discriminated against.

You have to be SMART. Plan for the worst case scenario. Most people who fight discrimination ruin their own cases by not playing smart from the very beginning or not knowing how to fight the system.

You CANT publish defamitory information about your employer if you want to remain crediable. And if you wind up having to fight your employer, it boils down to the "teller and the tell". Which, you should know all this.

See, what I cant get over is that you claim to be a lawyer. I shouldnt have to tell you this.

And, why are you assuming no one will know you pushlished this on the internet? Do you log on from work? Do you use your personal computer for anything related to work? Worst case scenario and you wind up in court to fight the discrimation, they can easily find this. Erase it, reword it. Just get smart.

 

Although she came off harsh in her reply earlier, she does make sense here, Cris. You really shouldn't be using your work terminal to write any info about your employers in here, let alone giving away any evidence of their identity.

And, yes, you have the right to think and feel the way you wish about it, but at work is NOT the time for it.

 

Well i guess i see it your ways, SG and Fly Girl. I didnt see it that way then maybe because of my state of mind. But as you know, im only human and not immune to mistakes whether silly or tactful. I'd never post anything of such context anymore as you guys have rightly said.

 

Flygirl has a point. LaydeezmanCris you should change the information and get the people who quoted you to edit their info on the matter. I remember awhile back about someone getting hit with a slander suit because information about them was posted on the internet. All it takes is a good researcher which employers will hire. I forgot which site it was where that happened. The funny thing is the person posted anonymously but posted some financial numbers that gave them away. That's how thorough the researcher was.

 

You need to edit that post champ for real.

 

Also LaydeezmanCris I never expected any businessperson to actually come and say some ignorant crap like that to someone. When I talk with people over the phone they usually assume I'm white until I say my name. But I've never experienced ignorant crap like that from a client or anyone else I've worked with. Thats very unprofessional and I wouldn't want to deal with a moron like that.

 

Oh i concur with you, amigo. I felt so embarassed and as the same time shocked that some people would think like ignorant bigots. Well, this is America so what can you do?

 

By the way, the quote in my post has been edited.

Sorry.

 

Cris, that is sick, man I have never run into that kind of racism in all my life and I grew up in the deep south.

for him to say that he didnt want to work with you, I cant even fathom such ignorance coming out of someones mouth.

 

i guess I am too ugly a guy for the white guys I work with to be afraid to have me work around the beautiful women in the office