Younger 21 (ME) Older (Coworker)

i'm not sure what your experience has been, but i have been through abuse, divorce, suicide of a lover....and the saying time heals all wounds holds true..not that you forget ....you just eventually find love again. the age difference isn't such a concern as the co-worker thing...thats just not a good idea. you seem to have alot to offer...just meet someone out of your work place... things can get ugly fast in certain situations.

 

I feel you on the coworker thing. There is nowhere to meet anyone really. Bars, the pool, and church are just about my only options. All of them yield hideous results. Sex, games, and bullshit. Waste of time. My love knew me, saw my scars, and saw directly into my heart. Not only did she NOT run but she truly loved me for where I was in that very moment, It wasn't because she saw potential to shape me, not because I had money, not because she could drain me of everything and rationalize moving on to the next one, she unconditionally loved me. Suicide won over me and i've been grasping at straws, opening myself up, trying everything i can. The end result? a continuously fresh wound growing larger by the day.

 

right on well she's def at least 15 years older than me

 

missed that...

uh, I don't know man, it's only a no go cause of the job thing, not because of the age difference...

 

its no biggie. thank you for sharing your advice.

 

Didn't you say this was only a part time job? I'd understand holding back if it were your career, but if shit does hit the fan you (or she) can always get a new job, right?

 

DMB...

Before you go pursuing another relationship, I think you really should seek counseling to help you deal with your grief. You can't move on if you are stuck in the cycle of grief that you were left in when she died. It just doesn't sound me to like you're ready- and suicide is very difficult for those left behind. I am very sorry for the tragic loss of your girlfriend. I hope you can find a good counselor who will help you deal with this loss and help you move on to a place where you will find and have love again.

 

end of thread there bro. dont get your romance where you get your finance

 

strongly agree

 

Hey man, I agree with GQ. Go for it, but keep in mind that you ain't lookin for love at first. You are attracted to her and it sounds like she to you. Go slow, be real, and if it does not work out be adult and respectful. What else can you do?:smt033

 

nah this is my full time gig at the moment combined with school that is.

counseling/talking alot does not help me as it does others rehashing and repeating doesn't release or relieve for me.

waste of time but i honestly appreciate you guy's concern

 

You have to find a therapist you can connect with or it doesn't work. When you go through trauma, you don't realize how deeply you're impacted, and how much damage can be done to current and future relationships. Therapy isn't just rehashing things....it is unfortunate that anyone views therapy that way. It saved my life and the lives of many men and women who choose to do the work involved.

I strongly encourage you to reconsider... And also join a support group for people who have lost loved ones to suicide. You can't do this alone, nor should you.

 

no one is interested in that. its a broken record. i've tried reaching out and even people who honestly wanted to give it a shot could not hang. i have honestly met one person who could "hang". that could handle my heavy nature, that could handle sometimes i'm up and down and all around. its a blessing to have even known for the moment that i could be loved.


ps i swear im not a psycho or weird or crazy or any of that nonsense.

 

You didn't realize it...but you just made your own case for joining a support group and getting therapy.

Anyway, I'm not going to keep going back and forth on this and beat a dead horse. I just wanted to express my concern and wish for your good health.