Your white love and her white son

you meet lovely white lady (40 years old) that she have almost a white son (20 years old). You fall in love with her . But her son interferes whit you and doesn't want that you love his mom . What do you do in this situation ?

 

You are never too old to get a beating. Get a belt and begin setting that young man straight. Just kidding. It doesn't matter if the man is black or white some kids will find a way to dislike the person their single parent likes and some are fine with the person (whether he is 20 or 12). The good thing is that he is old enough to take care of himself, so you shouldn't have to take his feelings into account as if her were a kid. You just have to accept his concerns (you don't have to agree with them) and live your own life.

 

Don't know what will happen. But I do know what you DON'T do. You don't let your son win this one. You don't stop seeing the man. Then you deal with your son as lovingly and assertively as possible.

Edit: Lol, I was looking at it from woman's perspective. As the man.... same advice, you hold your ground. All parties involved are adults. Either way, child is not going to tell the parent what to do, that's for sure. Although they can definitely make it harder.

And I would definitely bring up the issue with her, if she is not aware. Not having everyone in the open and forced to face each other all three ways, is what would most likely lead to the failed relationship scenario. I think the faster everyone is forced to face each other with this issue, the faster walls are broken down, if they were ever meant to be broken. And if they weren't meant to be conquered... then either way, you will know faster!

Then again... Maybe being too quick about it could backfire. Either way I don't think confrontation should be delayed, as long as it is not premature...

 

I would just let the woman know that if she wants to continue the relationship or not, I will support her decision.

 

That drama would have nothing to do with me. I'd leave until she got her shit together.

 

I have gone out with several white women who had white kids before and none of the kids had a issues...even some kids were in 20s.....jus one gal her ex had problem he feared my influence on his son....but other than that...its usually ok...people try to make something out of nothing and make it racial when many times it not at all...

There is a aside of me that enjoys being out with a white woman and her white kids jus to rub it in the face of racists white men...see D Sterling...

 

I can sort of relate, but my son is not white.

I think it has more to do with grown children and how they feel about a man their mother dates. If they don't like him for whatever reason, this is what I'd be more concerned about. What are their reasons? The older that child is, the more protective they are about their mother.

The only time my kids ever enter the picture is if I'm serious about my relationship w the man. The interaction between them is important to me, because ultimately, by the time this happens, I am serious about moving forward with my relationship with him.

Back to the OP; if my son was white and didn't like the man solely because he is black, I would inquire as to why to be able to determine whether his concerns are valid or warranted, but would not let my child dictate my relationship with the man.

 

stick with black folks, son.....

 

LMAO, this is wrong on so many levels.

 

My perspective on this is this; regardless of age or sex, the mother's first priority is to her child. Not the man she is dating. He is secondary. And he knows that a relationship with a woman in her situation is a package deal. Her thoughts will always be for her children. She wouldn't be a mother if she didn't.
And it becomes a conflict if the child doesn't like the man she is dating. I think it will work out if a man is a single parent himself. That way, the children can get to know each other well. But, if a man wants to be a father, I guess it's okay. And then there is the blood father. These guys may not be around, but their presence will be known. And in most cases, felt. That is a conflict I don't want. The Papa Drama. Parenthood, or stepparenthood is not for everyone. I know it's not for me.

 

Tell him to act his age, and fuck off. He is 20 years old, and should understand that his mom deserves some action to.

 

My Take

1. He's 20 years old. It's a bit too late to be thinking about his mom's love interest being the father. I know it's a tough pill to swallow, since no one can replace the one who helped molded you into the person you are today, but he's acting as though he's in elementary school.

2. He should respect his mother's longing for happiness. As long as he treats her well, why bother pissing over it?

 

I'll tell his hatin' ass that there's a new sheriff in town! :smt066 lol

 

Yes,sonny is a adult not a child and he can move out.

 

20 years old that kid is an adult if he/she don't like what's going on, push on flintstone, move out or away a kid interfering in adult shit:smt018Wouldn't be my kid.

 

One of these forum members with a woman who has a white son

Yeah

I can see the headlines now

 

In my case, he's a 16 y/o young man who is a joy to be around. Pleasant, bright, and very respectful young man. I suspect that he (and younger sister) simply want to see their Mom happy, and treated well. I'd be very proud if they were my children.

 

That's more like it