"You're going to end up with a white woman"

First, a little background about me: I don't buy into the whole race thing. I'm a very open-minded guy ... I don't identify with any labels ... and will cut you down to size quickly if you utter anything "Black" or "African-American". I'm neither.

Secondly, I don't have any preferences with regard to who I'm attracted to. She could be skinny, medium, or even slightly overweight ... light complected, or dark ... doesn't matter... it's all about the woman.

Anyhow, my mom has told me this many of times. Her reasoning: "She'll love and appreciate you more. She'll be there for you, as you'll be there for her. She'll be in love with you."

Well, that could be anyone, really. However, I am starting to believe that I just might end up with a "white" woman in my next long-term relationship. I couldn't care less, really, just as long as the woman is right for me. Yet, I find that "surburban" women are more appealing to me than "urban" women. Yet, the biggest thing is personality ... that's the draw for me personally.

The bottom line, though: I feel a "white" woman will understand me better than a "black" woman would, unless she grew up in a suburban setting. I'd feel more comfortable in my own skin, without feeling forced to "conform" to some urban stereotype that isn't me.

Most of my experiences with women have been with those from "urban" settings ... people who chose me (I wasn't seeking them) ... and for the "white" women I've fooled around with, it was short lived ... nothing long-term.

 

Hey man, I hear you.

I call myself black and/or African American more because of the social/political reasons and to a lesser degree for the overall cultural reasons. I don't have a problem with that at all but I don't like how people who know nothing about me will assume that I do or don't certain things because of how I look [my race].
It does not happen to me as much as it use to because I try to surround myself with people that I feel are smart and open minded.
Anyway...
I don't think race is as heavy and deep as we make it [certainly not to the point of “disowning” friends and family or killing someone].

Of all of the women [black, white, Asian or mixed – tall, short, long hair, short hair etc.] that I have dated, the one thing they have all had in common was basic beliefs and principles and shared interest.

I've always believed if you put a man a woman with similar likes and dislikes together, the chances of them coming together would be greater than the divides we use to group people together.
I find it funny that after segregation was made “optional” that we as a society started to focus more on the other groups we put people into [economic, educational, religious, political, regional etc.].
It almost seems as if the more energy you spend on bring people together the more the pendulum will swing in the direction of separation. I guess that's the nature of the beast.

 

Cool...I like the way both of you think. It always makes me smile when I read something intelligent and thoughtful...guess it's cause I have to encounter so many ignorant and stupid people on a daily basis. Makes me still have hope for the world, y'know.

 

:?: What type of work do you do to say that if I may ask?

 

Hey ronaldl79, welcome to the board!
I have two questions: Can you give some examples of "urban" stereotypes? And in what way do surburban women differ from urban women in your opinion?

 

Here we go. :?

 

Thanks for the welcome.

Typical "urban" stereotypes (largely based on skin color):

1. It is assumed you listen to rap music
2. You're expected to "act" a certain way
3. It is assumed you speak "ebonics"
4. Etc.

A "suburban" girl is often shielded from the effects of "urban conditioning" (unfortunately, this isn't true for those who watch too much BET and MTV -- they try to be like what they see there), and is therefore more open-minded (not always), etc.

There are many extremes, but these are the basics. For urban women, many might expect me to be into hip hop clubs, 50 cent and Tupac, etc. I'm far from anything "urban" and I was born in Detroit (and lived there for 21 years out of 27 ... only recently returning for an "extended family vacation" ... lol)! Just goes to show you that you CAN leave the "urban scene" unscathed and corrupt-free.

 

Oh this is just college. The people in my lessons are all very smart, yet I live in an area where there is both a large number of silly teenagers (they'll learn) and similarly a large number of elderly people who enjoy rambling on about the "good old days" and how Britain is in a total mess now it isn't 100% white. They enjoy blowing things way out of proportion.

 

Believe me, its just as bad, if not worse, over here. I mean, we have politicians :shock: who echo similar sentiments. You might want to read more about a certain man called Pat Buchanan.

 

Thank you for the info, Laydeezmanchris. This Pat Buchanan (who I had not heard of before, politics not being my forte), what a nasty piece of filth.

Well, I know a lot of the time English people tend to feel a little self-righteous and smugly think "well, at least we're not as bad as America!", but believe me we do have our problems. We have our fair share of disgusting ignorant pigs - the letters B,N and P spring to mind. :roll:

In general though, its not that bad where I live (its a tired old cliche, but London really is a pretty accepting place). But where I go to college - :roll: :roll: :roll:

 

Ellahara,Pat Buchanan is like Enoch Powell or sometimes Oswald Mosley. Once in a while he is like someone from the National Front.

 

Buchanan is the worst politico you can have around.

 

Tell me about it. And he does not seem to get the message that America does not want a knucklehead like him for President. :lol:

 

:shock: He doesn't get it, especially since I actually saw the douche bag on an Infomercial broadcasted by an ABC affiliate here in my local area, that was celebrating the 'Most Influential Black/African-Americans of all time!' He was actually sitting in a large coliseum-like room, full of professional, college-bound, black suburbanites.

 

You get federal money for running for president and get to keep what's left over after your campaign, that's why he does it. I remember back in 96 he ran with a black female running mate.

 

That was Ezola Foster. She is a piece of work. Her beliefs are like Star Parker,Armstrong Williams,Walter Williams,and Thomas Sowell. They are real house slaves.

 

Indeed. She actually believes that slavery was a great thing for African Americans. :lol: :mrgreen: :axe: :smt005 For real, i feel like grabbing an AK-47 and gunning down all these dumb black hard right nutcases. :smt067 :smt070

 

Oh lord those nuts need to be cracked.

 

Maybe it would be a good thing for self-loathing whackos like her...

but then again, it probably would make them even worse than they already are. I could picture Halle Berry getting turned on by the idea though.

 

I have met Armstrong Williams a couples of time,That dude is a real piece of work he told me that racism does not exist in America.