IR in Music Videos thread

[meowkittenmeow]

Understandable!

Wow, that’s a terrible marriage your parents were/are having there...nowadays it’s just very rare that someone would stay for that long in spite of all such abuse...that’s why one assumes long marriages are good marriages. Those aren’t the kind of issues I meant when I said marriage isn’t always that enjoyable though. I think I’m a patient and committed person, but I’d draw the line at cheating and physical abuse and the likes. I want my kids to grow up in an intact home but it has to be a healthy intact home also, not a dysfunctional one...if it’s dysfunctional it’s better to end it.
I understand your pessimistic approach to relationships now and about women, as your mother and other women you have met obviously were the worst examples. I hope you have also met a few different ones, who aren’t out to take advantage of men but are interested in a mutually respectful, honest relationship with you.

Accepting the fact that people are self interested, and that “love” is merely a chemical reaction (a chemical reaction that calms over time like a drug, which, in turn, requires people to find new people to get that rush again... thus, explaining cheating), as well as the current social trends, it makes it quite easy to avoid relationships. The only relationships that I allow myself are of the “quid pro quo” variety. If they are no longer useful, it is time to end.

 

[Madeleine]

Marriage is a highly emotional and biased decision either way you slice it. I'd rather balance it with logic.

Of course it’s biased. Unfortunately there are still a few things you can’t calculate like maths. Do you think any woman in this world would like to have a baby if we thought about it purely logical?

 

[meowkittenmeow]

It’s definitely chemistry, but that “on drugs” feeling doesn’t last for very long. The difficult transition for many is from “endorphines and hormones are levelling” to discovering a more level-headed, lasting love for that person.

Level headed or not, that is the product of either obligation, or the lack of better options. The definition of “better” varies greatly between the genders.

 

[meowkittenmeow]

Marriage is a highly emotional and biased decision either way you slice it. I'd rather balance it with logic.

If you balance it with logic, you will find a lack of benefit towards marriage. Even in the set up of having a two parent home, it can easily fall apart if the relationship is failing, but they are staying together “for the kids”. Either situations can have a lasting negative affect on the offspring. I feel it to be a more logical decision to avoid marriage entirely.

 

[Beasty]

Of course it’s biased. Unfortunately there are still a few things you can’t calculate like maths. Do you think any woman in this world would like to have a baby if we thought about it purely logical?

But they do use logic to an extent. That's why it's so important for a man to be financially stable. If they can think about something other than love, why shouldn't guys?

I didn't suggest it to be thought of as purely logical, but only to add logic to a naturally emotional decision.

 

[Madeleine]

Level headed or not, that is the product of either obligation, or the lack of better options. The definition of “better” varies greatly between the genders.

So you think anyone who stays on together past the initial, endorphin stage of live is in it only out of obligation? It can actually be quite nice to be with someone you love, but you know them well enough to also know their weaknesses and you are comfortable enough to no longer feel sick to the stomach because of too many butterflies. There are other good things that come out of longer relationships.

 

[Beasty]

If you balance it with logic, you will find a lack of benefit towards marriage. Even in the set up of having a two parent home, it can easily fall apart if the relationship is failing, but they are staying together “for the kids”. Either situations can have a lasting negative affect on the offspring. I feel it to be a more logical decision to avoid marriage entirely.

If you want kids it becomes logical. You don't want another man around them and you don't want the courts in your business just because she got mad at you.

 

[Madeleine]

But they do use logic to an extent. That's why it's so important for a man to be financially stable. If they can think about something other than love, why shouldn't guys?

I didn't suggest it to be thought of as purely logical, but only to add logic to a naturally emotional decision.

One should still be reasonable because “love” alone doesn’t make it work if two people have opposite ideas of everything.
And by the way if you want to avoid that “chemistry” that makes people delusional, don’t give a woman an orgasm...the rush of oxytocin has the strongest bonding and adhesive effect possible lol. It’s the same hormone that is released during birth (though in higher quantities) that makes women fall in love and bond with their newborn. Which is why many women have a hard time distinguishing sex and love. It’s all chemistry.

 

[meowkittenmeow]

If you want kids it becomes logical. You don't want another man around them and you don't want the courts in your business just because she got mad at you.

Go overseas and hire a surrogate. If you can’t afford it, don’t have kids. Lol, if you have children with anyone these days you are shooting yourself in the foot.

Off subject, I am considering making a milkshake this weekend. I am looking into recipes at the moment.

 

[meowkittenmeow]

So you think anyone who stays on together past the initial, endorphin stage of live is in it only out of obligation? It can actually be quite nice to be with someone you love, but you know them well enough to also know their weaknesses and you are comfortable enough to no longer feel sick to the stomach because of too many butterflies. There are other good things that come out of longer relationships.

Obligation of children, or finances. Many people have various reasons as to why they feel obligated (even if they aren’t actually obligated).

 

[Madeleine]

Go overseas and hire a surrogate. If you can’t afford it, don’t have kids. Lol, if you have children with anyone these days you are shooting yourself in the foot.

Off subject, I am considering making a milkshake this weekend. I am looking into recipes at the moment.

Lmao that’s quite the change of topic. Thought you are a vegan? You could always use almond milk of course.

 

[Madeleine]

Obligation of children, or finances. Many people have various reasons as to why they feel obligated (even if they aren’t actually obligated).

You are right, there’s obligation in a marriage with kids. There’s also joy that comes from seeing said kids grow up and potentially a supportive partnership and love, even if it’s not the mad kind of love all the time. Ideally speaking.

 

[Beasty]

One should still be reasonable because “love” alone doesn’t make it work if two people have opposite ideas of everything.
And by the way if you want to avoid that “chemistry” that makes people delusional, don’t give a woman an orgasm...the rush of oxytocin has the strongest bonding and adhesive effect possible lol. It’s the same hormone that is released during birth (though in higher quantities) that makes women fall in love and bond with their newborn. Which is why many women have a hard time distinguishing sex and love. It’s all chemistry.

I'm just making sure i don't become delusional. I'm a tough cookie, but knowing I'm not invincible is part of the reason I'm able to be so. I'm about keeping myself in check. And if a woman marries a man that doesn't even so much as make her orgasm. Either he is rich or delusional or maybe both. I don't see how it can be a healthy relationship.

 

[Beasty]

Go overseas and hire a surrogate. If you can’t afford it, don’t have kids. Lol, if you have children with anyone these days you are shooting yourself in the foot.

Off subject, I am considering making a milkshake this weekend. I am looking into recipes at the moment.

LOL. You just need a home made recipe for ice cream then add some cashew milk butter pecan is the shizzle....lol But seriously,being a parent means it's not about you anymore so you would want the mother to be around for the child.

 

[Madeleine]

I'm just making sure i don't become delusional. I'm a tough cookie, but knowing I'm not invincible is part of the reason I'm able to be so. I'm about keeping myself in check. And if a woman marries a man that doesn't even so much as make her orgasm. Either he is rich or delusional or maybe both. I don't see how it can be a healthy relationship.

Yeah no, I meant before. To avoid being deceived by the hormones in the decision making, don’t make her orgasm lol. When married of course it’s very important, that’s when the bonding effect comes in handy. I think a lot of marriages could be saved if people didn’t stop (or almost stop) having sex.
Remember what we said in the other thread about premarital sex being negatively correlated with marital stability. People need to have less sex when they supposed to make a good decision and more afterwards. But they are doing it the other way round lol.

 

[meowkittenmeow]

Lmao that’s quite the change of topic. Thought you are a vegan? You could always use almond milk of course.

I left veganism in favor of regulating my body’s hormone output. I mostly eat rice, veggies, and protein shakes with a few eggs. Veganism isn’t particularly healthy for me.

 

[Beasty]

Yeah no, I meant before. To avoid being deceived by the hormones in the decision making, don’t make her orgasm lol. When married of course it’s very important, that’s when the bonding effect comes in handy. I think a lot of marriages could be saved if people didn’t stop (or almost stop) having sex.

Sheeeeit. Mediocre sex supposed to be the answer? FU** that noise.

 

[meowkittenmeow]

LOL. You just need a home made recipe for ice cream then add some cashew milk butter pecan is the shizzle....lol But seriously,being a parent means it's not about you anymore so you would want the mother to be around for the child.

Untrue, as it assumes that all mothers are good for the child. Sometimes, not having the mother around is the safest bet. I think having positive women around is a more solid option.

 

[Madeleine]

Sheeeeit. Mediocre sex supposed to be the answer? FU** that noise.

Huh? How did you read that into my post??

 

[Beasty]

I left veganism in favor of regulating my body’s hormone output. I mostly eat rice, veggies, and protein shakes with a few eggs. Veganism isn’t particularly healthy for me.

FU** Veganism LOLOLOL