IS BEING CONSIDERED A "NICE GUY" A BAD THING WORLDWIDE

artbunker

artbunker

New Member
This is for the men and women in their journies in life. I would like to know from both men and women if being know as a "nice guy" is just as bad a stigma around the world as it is in the US.

now Im not really a nice guy, but I do go out, dress a little above casual, and am usually clean shaven and smelling great. Ok now usually when Im out Im told Im nice and sweet. I in no way give this impression I think. I dont try to win brownie points on a date or anything like that.

Now after years of hearing this, I know those words usually mean LETS JUST BE FRIENDS ZONE. I accept that and understand that means your a nice person but dont find attraction in you in that manner.

Cool I cried , got over it and grew up. My question is in two folds.

1. is nice guy just not attractive to any woman around the world. Just because you show a little respect and dont put up a challenge or play games, is a guy really that less attractive for it?

I knwo not a BM/WW question, but still I would love to hear everyone's response to it
 
If a girl doesn't appreciate you for being a nice guy and doesn't grab hold of you for all she's worth, then she hasn't been through the wringer enough with the bad boys, to appreciate that nice guys are where it's at, in my opinion anyway. :D
 
Nothing wrong with being a nice guy, just show some edge every so often. Show these chicks you're not to be fucked with.
 
Here's a simple way of looking at it: Women like nice guys. We want men to be nice. For example, some of the nice guys we like to have in our lives are our father, any male relative for that matter, our mechanic, our bosses, the guy walking behind us on a dimly lit street, etc. But if a woman is going to be interested in a man in a romantic and/or sexual way, it's going to take more than being a nice guy. Otherwise all nice guys (and there are a lot of them out there) would have women chasing after them by the dozens.
 
The term "you are such a nice guy" means "I want to be just friends". To be a nice guy is different. Being a nice guy is def appriciated, its when girls talk about it like it was your main feature you should be worried...

So keep being a nice guy.
 
scylla said:
The term "you are such a nice guy" means "I want to be just friends". To be a nice guy is different. Being a nice guy is def appriciated, its when girls talk about it like it was your main feature you should be worried...

So keep being a nice guy.
Click to expand...


You echo my sentiments this is why I wanted to know what everyone thought of it. i continuously try not to show those nice guy qualities or even be super sweet. but even form women I never talk to, I get approaced by and hear your soo cute and sweet. Im usually like damn in the :smt104off the first 5 minutes . I didnt offer to buy you a drink, didnt compliment you on your looks, or even act shy.

I guess I give off that safe vibe lolololololo. Even though Im not at all all the time :)
 
No, you are missunderstanding.. It's not your behavior, its just a way of signalling that they like you, but not in "that" way. You can be superultranice or not nice, doesnt matter, they say it to indicate lack of interest..
 
A woman is either attracted to you or she's not. If she's attracted to you and you're an asshole, you'll make her life miserable. If she's attracted to you and you're a good guy, you'll make her happy. If she's not attracted to you, your bad guy or nice guy status are irrelevant. There's nothing else to it.
 
artbunker said:
Now after years of hearing this, I know those words usually mean LETS JUST BE FRIENDS ZONE. I accept that and understand that means your a nice person but dont find attraction in you in that manner.

Cool I cried , got over it and grew up. My question is in two folds.

1. is nice guy just not attractive to any woman around the world. Just because you show a little respect and dont put up a challenge or play games, is a guy really that less attractive for it?
Click to expand...

You're a nice guy, but do you know how to lead? That's what a lot of us are looking for. Not a "Bad boy" so much as a leader, someone who knows what he wants.

Nice is important, we like to be treated nicely, and we like you to open the car door, pay for the evening, etc... But I can really respect a man who knows how to chose the restaurant, movie, etc. and knows how to tell me where he doesn't want to eat and why. It shows that he knows what he wants and is willing to take the lead. That may be what they are looking for subconsciously. I don't think a lot of women can articulate that or are even aware of it.

You don't have to be a bad boy, just show you know what you are doing in life, and you won't let anyone keep you from it. Some of that bad boy attraction is that we know they won't be pushed over. I haven't yet met a woman who really wants to be able to tell her man what to do, we don't like to have a man who is too easy to manipulate.

We also like a challenge. We will try to manipulate, it's in our nature, just don't let it be too easy. We don't like easy!

If her every word is your command, she'll get board. Let her hint, and work at it, take the hints slowly. Leave her wanting more, people want what they can't have.

I'm willing to bet you were raised with sisters and you know how to understand what women want way to easy and you give in to quickly.

I suggest you find out what she likes and surprise her, but if she actually asked you for something, do it with a surprising twist, when she doesn't expect it. Mostly try to read her, don't ask her.
 
Thats the problem I run into. I am the "nice guy". I don't go around abusing women out of their name or doing stuff like that. Its just that some women I have found don't know how to appreciate that. Then after they go through a round of dealing with the bad boys they don't know how to take dealing with someone who is nice to them. Its like you can't win cause they are putting what the bad guys have done on them before on the person that tries to do right by them.
 
yaj152 said:
Thats the problem I run into. I am the "nice guy". I don't go around abusing women out of their name or doing stuff like that. Its just that some women I have found don't know how to appreciate that. Then after they go through a round of dealing with the bad boys they don't know how to take dealing with someone who is nice to them. Its like you can't win cause they are putting what the bad guys have done on them before on the person that tries to do right by them.
Click to expand...

THey probably aren't sure if you're even "real". Or maybe they just don't know how to take you because you're not like all the others. Or maybe they're just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like waiting for the "honeymoon" phase to be over so they can see your "true" self.

It's hard to accept being treated well by a guy, especially when your last guy was a real prick. Just keep plugging along and one day you'll find the girl who's in the right place in her life who will not only appreciate all of your nice qualities, but will hold on to you because she knows that geniunely nice men, like you, don't come around very often. :smt023
 
Bookworm616 said:
THey probably aren't sure if you're even "real". Or maybe they just don't know how to take you because you're not like all the others. Or maybe they're just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like waiting for the "honeymoon" phase to be over so they can see your "true" self.

It's hard to accept being treated well by a guy, especially when your last guy was a real prick. Just keep plugging along and one day you'll find the girl who's in the right place in her life who will not only appreciate all of your nice qualities, but will hold on to you because she knows that geniunely nice men, like you, don't come around very often. :smt023
Click to expand...


Thats exactly the position that I am finding myself in and summed it up in a few paragraphs. I'm young and I've only had a few serious relationships. Both of the women that I was involved with had dealt with men who treated them badly. To make a long story short that was part of why both of those relationships ended. I understand that if hurts to be mis-led or mis treated but all people are not the same. I just got tired of paying for another mans mistakes so I had to leave.
 
artbunker said:
This is for the men and women in their journies in life. I would like to know from both men and women if being know as a "nice guy" is just as bad a stigma around the world as it is in the US.

now Im not really a nice guy, but I do go out, dress a little above casual, and am usually clean shaven and smelling great. Ok now usually when Im out Im told Im nice and sweet. I in no way give this impression I think. I dont try to win brownie points on a date or anything like that.

Now after years of hearing this, I know those words usually mean LETS JUST BE FRIENDS ZONE. I accept that and understand that means your a nice person but dont find attraction in you in that manner.

Cool I cried , got over it and grew up. My question is in two folds.

1. is nice guy just not attractive to any woman around the world. Just because you show a little respect and dont put up a challenge or play games, is a guy really that less attractive for it?

I knwo not a BM/WW question, but still I would love to hear everyone's response to it
Click to expand...

My .000000000000001 cent. I think it's in a woman's instinct to want a man who can make her feel "protected", and there might be some women out their who equate "nice" with "weak" or pushover. While it's great to be a nice guy, I think a woman wants to feel that if her and her man were to be approached by another man who isn't so nice her man wouldn't take off running with his tail between his legs. I think it might have something to do with women prefering like an "alpha" male who other males will "bow down" too. I think they want a man who is tough but nice in every possible way to her. Something like that. But what do I know? I'm only 23 years 8 months old.
 
I think it pays to be a nice guy. Don't get discouraged if women don't respond at first. Like Moskvichka said, they probably were with asshole dudes and don't know how to respond to a guy who's actually decent and kind to them. They wanna see if you're on the level or if it's just a game. I went through it myself. So don't despair. Your persistence will eventually pay off. You will find the girl of your dreams
 
Thanks guys. Its just like you all said some people equate being nice with a push over ha and I am definetly not a push over. On the other hand some women want a man that acts nice but also has a hard edge to them. Those two things are not always mutually exclusive. If the guy is going to at hard and a jack ass he usually will end up treating the woman he is with like trash.
 
yaj152 said:
Thanks guys. Its just like you all said some people equate being nice with a push over ha and I am definetly not a push over. On the other hand some women want a man that acts nice but also has a hard edge to them. Those two things are not always mutually exclusive. If the guy is going to at hard and a jack ass he usually will end up treating the woman he is with like trash.
Click to expand...

I think this is my main point. i understand people are judged on their image, but what this person is saying is very true . Im gonna keep being me no matter what. im not super nice and safe guy, but im not super cockey guy either. I know what i am and refuse to bow down to a image and fantasy I supose. I mean be nice and great at times. But iM a guy no need to act overly macho if I dont ahve too. I was just wondering if the image issue is world wide. I see it is lololololol. Im cool with it . I appreciate the honest answers
 
I don't think that being a nice guy is a bad thing. I know that is one of the things that I'm currently looking for in a man. I have been told by more than one boyfriend that I'm too nice. I'm one of those girls that will do anything for her man...in and out of the bedroom. I leave him wanting for nothing, but I've found that a lot of men don't know how to appreciate that. They are so used to being treated badly that they don't feel that they deserve all the things that I have to offer them. So being a nice person causes problems for both sexes in the dating world sometimes. You always see nice girls with bad guys or bad girls with nice guys. How come the two nice people never seem to find one another?? :smt102
 
GirlieGirl74 said:
I don't think that being a nice guy is a bad thing. I know that is one of the things that I'm currently looking for in a man. I have been told by more than one boyfriend that I'm too nice. I'm one of those girls that will do anything for her man...in and out of the bedroom. I leave him wanting for nothing, but I've found that a lot of men don't know how to appreciate that. They are so used to being treated badly that they don't feel that they deserve all the things that I have to offer them. So being a nice person causes problems for both sexes in the dating world sometimes. You always see nice girls with bad guys or bad girls with nice guys. How come the two nice people never seem to find one another?? :smt102
Click to expand...

I think you jsut answered your question ...Beacuse at the time, their usually taken by the other, opposite type of person:p
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom