Tips from a Southern Baptist...

So I had a conversation with my mom tonight. It was already kind of tense because of the whole "Omg you have a black boyfriend, Lord have mercy on this child" thing, but I managed to get through it, and we had a decent mother-daughter chat.

Until she decided to remind me that if I get married again before my ex-husband dies that I'll be spending eternity in the fiery depths of hell.

...this is not the first time we've had this discussion, nor will it be the last.

Now then, I've nursed a healthy disdain of Christianity for a long time, but recently I've started feeling...something. I dunno. I'm too religiously ambiguous to really pin it down, but let's just say I've been having some good spiritual moments, and I've felt more comfortable with God, though I'm not quite sure who it is.

One thing that completely incenses me? Being told I'm going to hell because I made a mistake when I was 18. Way I see it, if God is so forgiving, don't you think he'd say "Well, she spent 4 years of life in a steady series of trials and tribulations, maybe she learned her lesson" and let bygones be bygones.

I'm not a bad person, and I don't think an ignorant mistake made by a desperate kid should be so damning. But that's religion for you.

I love my mom, but I liked my mom a lot more before she loved God.

My idea of God differs from my mother's idea, by a great deal. But she subscribes to one of the more potent forms of Christianity: Backwoods Redneck Bible-thumper. It's sometimes a dangerous drug, because of the side effects, such as "Impaired sense of free will", "A sudden intolerance of things you don't understand", and "A slight chance of rash and brutal behaviour (If experienced, consult clergy immediately or seek nearest 24hr Emergency Pentacostal church)".

Well, that's what the bottle says, anyway.

 

Ugh. I'm sorry. :cry: Well, I guess you can join me there then, because unless my ex-husband gets hit by a bus in the next 5 years and gets sent to hell himself for all the crap he's pulled, I have no intentions of putting off marriage until his death. It'll be fun, I'll make martinis, k?

In all seriousness though, coming from an extremely Christian family, and still an avid church goer myself (although, I think I go now because I have to repent my Friday and Saturday nite sins :wink: ), research it out yourself. There are only a couple of passages in the Bible that mention divorce, and as with everything else, it's up to your interpretation, in my opinion. If people quit interpreting the Bible now and if people quit questioning the church, then Martin Luther's whole point dies with the original Reformation (from which the Baptist church emerged, I might add).

 

God doesn't exist.

If Americans were smarter, we'd be more like the French or British than the Arabs on that issue.

 

I go to church occasionally. I used to go all the time. I know I sin just like any other man but I don’t be at church talkin down about other people and I don’t act all "holier than thou" with people that don’t go to church. I got my personal relationship with God so that’s all that really matters.

Some people go to church for the right reasons and some don’t. Going to church doesn’t get you automatic entry to heaven but it’s good to go. I have been trying to go back on the regular. I don’t feel a need however to make my religious affiliation public and I’m not one to walk up to random people and start witnessing to them either.

Like I said before, my relationship with God is personal. So any issues that I have are just that, personal. Between him and I and that’s that.

 

girl, i'm totally understanding where you are coming from. i grew up in church...i am a very strong Christian...my faith is my life. i can't tell you how ashamed i am of some "Christians" today. some of the most racist people that i have ever met have claimed Christianity, and it's an absolute embarrassment to me and to the church. so many people today believe that christianity is about rules, regulations, and religion. that is so far from the truth. christianity is not about religion...it's about a relationship with Christ. and yes, the Bible does offer guidelines by which we are to live....but God also gave us free will. He knew that we were going to mess up and make mistakes - we all do it. and that's why there is forgiveness. praise God for that!! :wink:

all i can say, is please don't let your mom's ideas or anyone else's ideas of salvation/Christianity scare you away from the peace and level of comfort that you have recently found in God. just like tony said, faith is something personal. people spend too much time looking at "christians" for answers....when they should be looking at Christ, himself. christians are merely human - we screw up, we make mistakes, we are usually terrible examples of the Love that we are to be sharing. when anyone starts to get you down or make you feel discouraged, just remember....christians aren't perfect, just forgiven. :wink:

hang in there, girl! :yawinkle:

 

Woman you better preach!!!

 

I :heart: heart :heart: tonysoprano!

lol

 

I'm ashamed of a lot of Christians in general. Not just today, but throughout history.

Religion scares me on some level, because it's one of the most powerful tools in the world.

Faith can be so beautiful, yet it can inspire such violence and inhumanity. I've never understood how something that proclaims peace and understanding and "good will toward men" and all that shit can create such monstrous humans, all in the name of a god.

I became disillusioned of religion at a very young age. So any level of spiritualism is a big deal, since I was an avid atheist for a long time. But then I started thinking, well...humans are monsters with or without religion, they always have and always will bend everything they can to suit their purpose. It's definitely not all religion's fault. We just suck donkey dick.

I dunno. I've just had god on my mind a lot these past few months, especially since my mother preaches at me so much.

I think god would want me to be happy, and live up to my potential, both things I never could've done had I stayed married.

It just seems that sometimes I have a choice to either make my peace with god, or with my mom. And I just can't follow her religion. Every fiber of my being screams that it's wrong, because I just can't close my mind and live in a delusional world with no freedom to think on my own. I don't agree with the things her preachers teach people, and I don't buy into something that makes people feel like they're doing god's work by spreading hate and intolerance.

Besides, my views on homosexuality (and sexuality in general) would probably get me lynched if I brought it up at church.

I just don't see how a loving, benevolent god would create such amazing creatures such as us, with the ability to think for ourselves, and such a desire to be happy, only to turn away from his creation for doing exactly what he made them capable of. But I guess this disagrees with the whole apple from the tree of knowledge thing.

Maybe loving someone of the same sex will get you sent to hell, and I'll burn for eternity all because I married the wrong person the first time, and, well, if we keep looking at it from my mother's religious views, anyone who's had sex without being married is going to hell, anyone who's had sex for pleasure period is going to hell, girls who wear make up are going to hell, girls who don't take it like a good little bitch when their husbands beat them are going to hell, girls who wear pants, not skirts and dresses, are going to hell. Don't forget you'll go to hell for listening to any music that doesn't talk about God, and if you've ever played a musical instrument in a church you're damned. Let's see. I guess that also means if you've played a musical instrument and the song wasn't about God you'll go to hell, too, since you'd have to listen to it to play it. Oh, and jewelry is a sin, too. It's showing off your pride, so unless it's a small, tasteful cross, you better take your chain off before you go to hell. Only wedding bands can save your eternal soul.

*twitch*

 

God loves you! He is not about laws, but about relationship. He wants to have a relationship with you, he wants your heart. He's more concerned with that than with your jewellery your dress or anything else.
I grew up in one of the most secular countries of all of "old Europe". Naturally speaking I'd have ended up as an Atheist just like everyone else. But God found me, long story that I can tell some other time. He revealed Himself to me, and I gave my life to Him, although I had never heard of being born again before.
As long as your spouse knows God, colour doesn't matter.
I pray you might get to know God the way He really is not the way humans portray Him.
I have also made my share of mistakes, but God is merciful, Jesus has already paid for my sins, so why should I pay again? DOn't have to!

 

couldn't have said it better myself.
good stuff, madel! thanks for sharing!! :wink:

 

consider:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o&feature=related


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyWEBbFwU1o&feature=related

 

where there is Christ,there is no hatred,hypocracy,etc.If you have Jesus in your heart,you CAN`T be hateful to anyone ,it would be impossible.And when you have a relationship with Jesus,you`d know that you`ve been forgiven from what you`ve done,and who you WERE in the past.That is the reason for the term"born again".Old things have passed away,behold all things are new.
If you "claim" you know Jesus,but still have the same attitudes WITH NO CONVICTION,you never got converted.

 

DH - I understand where your mother is coming from - but she is taking what she has been taught, without reading the scriptures for herself.

Don't base a belief on what anyone tells you, research it well for yourself, from scripture. The Bible says that if you search for truth you will find it.

I searched for it hard because I to am divorced. My ex-husband was an evangelist, and a faith healer. He was also a hypocrite, a drug addict, and an alcoholic with an anger problem, who had numerous affairs, and didn't love his family.

Well, I found out that God Himself divorced Israel His Chosen bride, and then He as Christ is going to marry the Church, who is now the bride of Christ. So you can rest assured that if God is divorced, and is going to remarry someone different, it can't be the ultimate sin. There are various reasons that make divorce and remarriage OK, one is infidelity, another is if the unbelieving person leaves. The Bible says you are FREE, and I believe that means free to remarry if you want to.

I'll bet the peace you have been feeling is from being FREE, as is indicated above. Please, don't give up on GOD because of a bunch of Bible thumping idiots who don't study it.

As to the way we dress, if we took that scripture as literally as some do we would have to go about naked, and I'm sure they wouldn't want that, they are only taking the parts they want and leaving the rest.

Again, I encourage you to study it on your own.

 

Wow...what can one say after that? I will say, after reading some of your posts, that you have been through alot in your day. The fact that you are even questioning yourself now after all you've been through I think would make God proud. You have been through so much and are still seeking Him. I think you're doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing. Hang in there!

 

God loves you. He will forgive any of your sins if you have any.

 

:smt023

 

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Mohandas Gandhi

 

So true, including me, that's why we strive to be Christ like, and many of us are a long way off still.

 

co-sign.

DH:
Christianity claims to be a religion about love. You have to choose if you are gonna believe in a judging God, or a forgiving God. ^_^

And if you get sick and tired of this whole "sin" and "hell"-thing, you are more then welcome back to the atheist side of the fence.

 

I don't chose between a judging God or a forgiving God, I have a just God who forgives when asked to do so.

He is Love, and He can't change. He will forgive anyone who comes to Him in the name of His Son Jesus Christ and He will forgive them when they ask.

Just remember He's God, we are learning to be forgiving like Him, but we are still learning. Sometimes we keep our distance in order not to be to personally involved in the situation.