Another Negative Documentary By BW attacking BM

I actually got protected when I lived in Oakland. When I went into the check cashing spot to cash my payroll check, the minute they saw me standing in line they would call me to a side room cash my check and send me out the back door. I was really naive at the time, 21, 22 or 23, and thought I must have had a really large pay check and that is why they were doing it. Knowing what I do today, I know they were protecting me.

I use to have a problem with drunks and druggies sleeping in my car. More than once while trying to get them out so I could go to work, a stranger passing on the street would stop and help. All the while chiding them, "what you doing in this nice ladies car".

I think what I didnt realize at the time is they were looking out for the neighborhood by looking out for me. If something would have happened to me there would have been hell to pay.

Interesting. Really good points. I felt like people were really protective and looking out for me when I was in the south side of Chicago.

I have to wonder sometimes if it's about skin color or more the way one carries themselves.
 
Interesting. Really good points. I felt like people were really protective and looking out for me when I was in the south side of Chicago.

I have to wonder sometimes if it's about skin color or more the way one carries themselves.
As for the way they carry themselves, I have to think of all the things that my Muslimah revert sisters have told me about being hijabi and the difference it makes in how they are treated. But thats another story for another time.
 
Yeah I get that but I don't know why take it seriously. I just walk by and that's it. It doesn't effect me negatively in any way. Sometimes its an ego boost even.

You know that if these women would walk by and get nothing they'd start thinking well maybe I'm not looking my best today or whatever. Yeah I'll admit that has crossed my mind, its like what's going on. In some way its flattering, depending on what is said ofcourse but I've never had any crude remarks made towards me. Even then, I'd walk by, no response in these situations is the best response.

What does it matter what these men "think" of the women ? If they think they're easy so be it. Seriously I think women are making too much of a big deal out of nothing.

You probably aren't bothered by this rude behavior because as you stated, sometimes it's an "ego" boost for you. I is not an ego boost for me ever. And I am absolutely relieved when it doesn't happen, or when I'm in DC for instance, and people tend to mind their own business and it is a rare occasion, here it's common and bothersome.
Sorry Tink I'm not good with the quoting as you are.

The bottom line is this...if you have something going on repeatedly in your life that you do not like...do something about it. Stop complaining, whining, blaming and expecting others to act differently. We have NO control over what they do...only over our own actions and reactions. So if you don't like it - do something about it. Obviously this is not something that happens in all areas.

I stand by my statements. If someone allows what others have to say about them to tear them down then it's their own issues. Idiots out there hollering things have NO significant impact on anyone...unless they allow it. And guess what...if they weren't getting any reactions...they would stop doing it. (I'm talking generally overall not about you specifically)

It makes a lady feel filthy, it has nothing to do with complaining, I have mentioned it here on the board because I wanted to figure out what if anything I may be able to do about it, but as best I can tell, the only thing would be to move, and that is not an option at this point. I don't let it impact my life, accept that I prefer to drive, even small distances to avoid such behavior if possible, but it is a real problem for some women and it cannot be excused, because some women think it's not a problem. It someone doesn't like a sexual advance and they way it is being made, it can be considered sexual harassment or worse, even outside the work place.
 
http://www.italianamericangirl.com/2008/09/mtvs-hills-star-lauren-conrad-compares.html




Wednesday, September 24, 2008

MTV's - 'The Hills' Star, Lauren Conrad Compares Italy to A Construction Site.


Ok, so am I the only person of Italian-American descent who picked up on LC's stupid comment about Italian men when asked how her trip to Italy was? She says to Audrina and Lo, that being in Italy was like being on a construction site. Basically the men do nothing but holler, taunt, and whistle at you like you are on a construction site.

Ok, first of all the fact that Italian men do have a tendency to be vocal when a woman walks by might be true, but to compare it to a construction site or say Italy is like being on a construction site is just stupid. You know how many people you are going to offend by this comment?

I will tell you, I worked in NYC and walked by many non-construction sites and have had men do the same thing and GEE I didn't compare it to a construction site. Actually I've been in Italy and NYC where that has happened, never did I compare it to a construction site. I just thought its guys being guys (doesnt matter if its NYC or ROME).

To be honest with you in NYC, there are tons of construction sites that I walk by and rarely are the guys fitting the stereotype of whistling and hooting. Sounds to me like LC has watched too many episodes of Sex and City where Miranda confronts the construction guy about his daily comments. Again, the typical stereotype.

Actually if I was a construction worker I would be offended. Let's remember its television, not real. Again the separation from fact to fiction is present. But then again, "The Hills" is supposed to be reality but when in actuality its totally scripted. Coming from my opinion and being in the industry..this is my guess. Yes, scripted and super edited. Hmm..which leads me to my next question, "did someone-- perhaps a producer write that line for her....?" Anything is possible.

LC should stay in California and not paint distorted pictures of Italy on the airwaves. Yes, I am a fan of "The Hills," but that just pissed me off. Too much money, a sheltered life, no tolerance for the world..see what happens..your views become narrow.



Interesting stuff regarding this writeup above:

1)Lauren Conrad suggests that this type of behaviour happens a lot when women walk past construction guys. Well, she's right. Its almost required of construction guys to do this when good-looking women approach (especially if they are wearing business/working attire). The Washington Post did an article about this over a decade ago and construction men of every race were guilty.

2)Anyone who knows the state of the reduced number of black men in construction these days (especially in places like California) will deduce that the men Lauren were addressing were likley not black.

3)If guys in Italy do this a lot, even if she exaggerated a bit, that destroys that theory that men with the white male gene are immune/above this type of behaviour.

4)The Italian American woman who wrote the blog objected to painting a group of men with a wide brush which is the same thing others here have suggested.

So again to my point is that this is not some injustice that black women alone must face.

As for the white woman who commented that she was not nearly as abused by black guys in Oakland on this front as black women were let me point out that unlike, say Latino men, black men in this country as a whole have never been comfortable expressing sexual advances or making blatant sexual remarks to white women in this nation. Its a nature that is learned/taught. Black men used to be killed by white folks for even looking at a white woman in the eye. Also many black men have been raised in black communities to feel guilty if they ever even acknowledged white women as pretty or desirable. So despite evidence to the contrary on these boards, black guys in America tend to be less forward about their desire of white women in general. And in the back of their minds perhaps most of them may feel uncomfortable publicly displaying such interest. Hence black guys, as if subconsciously worried about someone looking over their shoulders, are less likley to treat a white woman on the street like that. But Latino women on the other hand are almost as open season (in terms of whistling at them) for these dudes as black women are.

Of course there is also the possibility that the black dudes in Oakland you were talking about just weren't as into you as the black ladies they saw.
 
As for the white woman who commented that she was not nearly as abused by black guys in Oakland on this front as black women were let me point out that unlike, say Latino men, black men in this country as a whole have never been comfortable expressing sexual advances or making blatant sexual remarks to white women in this nation. Its a nature that is learned/taught. Black men used to be killed by white folks for even looking at a white woman in the eye. Also many black men have been raised in black communities to feel guilty if they ever even acknowledged white women as pretty or desirable.

I guess you missed where I said there is still a stigma against harassing WW?

I got more crap in Oakland than in San Francisco, but it never came close to the crap the black women got in Oakland. There is still some stigma in harassing white women because the police will take our word most times.

I do agree that poorer neighborhoods are worse off.
 
Another reason why I choose not to date black women. I have nothing against them, I respect them greatly, but making stereotypical comments about "their men" (they prefer to make this comment about black men, nearly every time they see black men with white women), is one of the reasons why they can't find anyone.
 
Another reason why I choose not to date black women. I have nothing against them, I respect them greatly, but making stereotypical comments about "their men" (they prefer to make this comment about black men, nearly every time they see black men with white women), is one of the reasons why they can't find anyone.
The real question here is whether a black woman would choose to date you.
 
Black women sometimes have this impending sense of failure. My ex was a sista and she evaluated me with conflicting opinions all the time. She said I was the most racist brotha towards white people she'd ever seen...(some truth there...I've got my militant side) yet she also believed I'd end up married to a WW (that is TBD). Even though I was crazy about her...she just felt that I'd end up "on the other side."

As for the story...generalizations are dangerous. I wonder how the ladies would feel if I did a documentary, chronicling all the hoodrats with bad weave and gold teeth that reject decent brothas...even the college educated "beauty queen" type sistas that mock a brotha that isn't quite gangsta enough. Of course I'd be accused of painting with a broad brush..and I'm sure the project wouldn't fly very far.

Are black men more "aggressive"...no. I know this because I live in a city that is 25% black with the remaining 75% split evenly between Latinos and whites...that's what i call "real" diversity. Anyways, I've seen enough to know that Latino men are by far the most aggressive and disrespectful as they (some not all of course) will stare a woman down like a hungry man staring at a T-bone steak with mashed potatoes and brown gravy. And the Latinos will stare down black women, white women, Asian women and Latinas. You can ask any of the sistas I know and they will tell you.

Black men can be disrespectful as well but we certainly don't have a monopoly on objectifying women.
 
Another reason why I choose not to date black women. I have nothing against them, I respect them greatly, but making stereotypical comments about "their men" (they prefer to make this comment about black men, nearly every time they see black men with white women), is one of the reasons why they can't find anyone.
So you generalizing all black women because of the documentary. Brotha please. Just date who you like and stop making dumb ass excuses.
 
Are black men more "aggressive"...no. I know this because I live in a city that is 25% black with the remaining 75% split evenly between Latinos and whites...that's what i call "real" diversity. Anyways, I've seen enough to know that Latino men are by far the most aggressive and disrespectful as they (some not all of course) will stare a woman down like a hungry man staring at a T-bone steak with mashed potatoes and brown gravy. And the Latinos will stare down black women, white women, Asian women and Latinas. You can ask any of the sistas I know and they will tell you.

Yep. Pretty much what I said. Not hating on those guys though, just pointing out a fact. The dudes could be 5'2 and employed as day laborers and they will be staring down and trying to chat up some smoking 5'10 blonde babe who works for a big time law firm. They are fearless (or rude depending on how you want to look at it).
 
Are black men more "aggressive"...no. I know this because I live in a city that is 25% black with the remaining 75% split evenly between Latinos and whites...that's what i call "real" diversity. Anyways, I've seen enough to know that Latino men are by far the most aggressive and disrespectful as they (some not all of course) will stare a woman down like a hungry man staring at a T-bone steak with mashed potatoes and brown gravy. And the Latinos will stare down black women, white women, Asian women and Latinas. You can ask any of the sistas I know and they will tell you.
Well, I learning that this may be my real problem, latinos! Glad to know it happens elsewhere to.
 
So you generalizing all black women because of the documentary. Brotha please. Just date who you like and stop making dumb ass excuses.


I'm not making any excuses nor making any generalizations, and please don't assume that I am piling on black women.

I do realize that not every black woman feels that way in that link.
 
I disagree. I never seen the things in predominately white neighborhoods that I have seen in predominately black neighborhoods. Just look at the difference in the billboards and advertisements. Black women get much more disrespect than we have to put up with.

The difference of what I saw (and experienced) on the streets while living in W. Oakland vs San Francisco was staggering. But what do I know...
C'mon now..

BW dish-out too much shit themselves to play the victim.

They call one another bitches and hoes..even key one another's cars and try to steal each other's men.

You can imagine how they treat BM.

What's staggering is the way BW cut up BM's clothes..flatten tires..show-up at a Brother's jobs throwing tantrums..falce police reports..ect ect.

They don't treat non-BM like that..BELIEVE ME.
 
C'mon now..

BW dish-out too much shit themselves to play the victim.

They call one another bitches and hoes..even key one another's cars and try to steal each other's men.

You can imagine how they treat BM.

What's staggering is the way BW cut up BM's clothes..flatten tires..show-up at a Brother's jobs throwing tantrums..falce police reports..ect ect.

They don't treat non-BM like that..BELIEVE ME.

WOW lol, I can't believe some women do things like that, just make a fool of themselves, but I'm sure women of other races do that too.
 
WOW lol, I can't believe some women do things like that, just make a fool of themselves, but I'm sure women of other races do that too.
Hell no. I myself am a grizzled veteran of the sista-comes-up-to-your-workplace-making-drama wars, so I know exactly what FH is talking about. Left Eye burned her man's house down, in "Waiting to Exhale" Angela Bassett burned up her husband's car and clothes. I've never heard of a white or Asian woman doing that shit. Hispanic or Italian maybe and even that's rare.
 
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