Essence Comments On OBSESSED/Black Men & White Women

I am a black female and I have no problems with black men dating white women or women of any other race for that matter. I believe a person should follow his or her heart and race should not be a deciding factor. However, I think the issue some black women have a problem with is when black men appear to value, respect, or desire women of other races simply because they are of another race and in the process denegegrate and put down black women as if we are not worthy of their love and affection. To me people of color represent the essence of beauty a personnaly I cannot see myself finding love outside of the black race but if someone else does then more power to them for true love is hard to find but I just hope that when someone does decide to date outside their race that their reasons are genuine.
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God I hate that argument. Oh, I don't have a problem with BM/WW, so long as it's REAL, and they aren't together for the wrong reasons.

As if that ever happens. As if any Black man decides to "value, respect, or desire women of other races simply because they are of another race", and any White Woman would be cool with that. Where are these relationships based ONLY on race? They must be plentiful, I'm always hearing about them.
 
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The problem is not who we get with: the problem is the and intelligence (or ignorance better stated) behind why we often go outside. We have been taught we are ugly and white is beautiful. The problem is we have been set free from slavery but are still enslaved in our minds to the white man's notion that anything is more beautiful than black. All the while, white men were making the enslaved sisters their play thing. This social horror is so engrained and etched in our minds that only when we really begin to deal with it, will their be a change. We have been pitted against one another. It is that same "house n***er" against the "field N***er" mentality. It is time to wake up and take the shackles off our minds, and FINALLY yes, FINALLY see the beauty in ourselves. Black Women and Men, God wonderfully made us. When it was done, He said "It is Very Good!"
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AMEN!!! Actually, there were several positive points from the sistahs on there, even the ones who disagreed with it. But yeah, this all goes back to how we blacks perceive ourselves and that somewhat determines who we choose as a significant other in the long run. I still don't care for the IR format of the movie (ww fatal attract. after a brotha), but at least it's being explored.
 
I really tried to read the comments, but it sounded like a bunch of...

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Usually when women like those that posted the negative comments become bitter, they cling to fashion and religion.:mrgreen:
 
CBQ said:
God I hate that argument. Oh, I don't have a problem with BM/WW, so long as it's REAL, and they aren't together for the wrong reasons.

As if that ever happens. As if any Black man decides to "value, respect, or desire women of other races simply because they are of another race", and any White Woman would be cool with that. Where are these relationships based ONLY on race? They must be plentiful, I'm always hearing about them.
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We are socialized to believe white women are the epitome of womanhood (Books of facts, 2009). Any nurse or midwife will tell you that babies tend to perceive their biological mothers as being the most beautiful thing (ever). How then, can this perception we have of our mothers as babies suddenly and drastically alter as we get older?? How can we not aim to have children that reflect the nature of our beings?

You see as children we were in love with she who birthed us, but something went drastically astray along the journey. Something called PORN.

I know most dudes will not admit that "sex" is the force that propels them to find a mate, but come on,,who ya kidding??...By watching porn, i believe we begin to have a different perspective of WHITE women. They look a little easier, a better target if you will. A walking prey waiting to fucked, and this is not the view we have of black women.

Clearly, the only reason white women are pursued so aggressively and relentlessly by so many men of all nationalities; is primarily based on sexual intercourse. I doubt these same brothers (or asians) would treat a "sister" with such condensation and objectivity
 
BlackMasterJay said:
We are socialized to believe white women are the epitome of womanhood (Books of facts, 2009). Any nurse or midwife will tell you that babies tend to perceive their biological mothers as being the most beautiful thing (ever). How then, can this perception we have of our mothers as babies suddenly and drastically alter as we get older?? How can we not aim to have children that reflect the nature of our beings?

You see as children we were in love with she who birthed us, but something went drastically astray along the journey. Something called PORN.

I know most dudes will not admit that "sex" is the force that propels them to find a mate, but come on,,who ya kidding??...By watching porn, i believe we begin to have a different perspective of WHITE women. They look a little easier, a better target if you will. A walking prey waiting to fucked, and this is not the view we have of black women.

Clearly, the only reason white women are pursued so aggressively and relentlessly by so many men of all nationalities; is primarily based on sexual intercourse. I doubt these same brothers (or asians) would treat a "sister" with such condensation and objectivity
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You sound more and more like a bitch with every post..
 
BlackMasterJay said:
We are socialized to believe white women are the epitome of womanhood (Books of facts, 2009). Any nurse or midwife will tell you that babies tend to perceive their biological mothers as being the most beautiful thing (ever). How then, can this perception we have of our mothers as babies suddenly and drastically alter as we get older?? How can we not aim to have children that reflect the nature of our beings?

You see as children we were in love with she who birthed us, but something went drastically astray along the journey. Something called PORN.

I know most dudes will not admit that "sex" is the force that propels them to find a mate, but come on,,who ya kidding??...By watching porn, i believe we begin to have a different perspective of WHITE women. They look a little easier, a better target if you will. A walking prey waiting to fucked, and this is not the view we have of black women.

Clearly, the only reason white women are pursued so aggressively and relentlessly by so many men of all nationalities; is primarily based on sexual intercourse. I doubt these same brothers (or asians) would treat a "sister" with such condensation and objectivity
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Psycobabble. Well balanced men do not seek to fuck their mothers. They are not sexually attracted to women who remind them of their mothers. There's a reason all developed human societies find sexual attraction to one's mother to be repulsive. It's because it's repulsive. Edipal complexes are not the norm, and the idea that "men marry their mothers" is an old wive's tale, not behavioral science.

My older brother's white, raised by a White woman, bought exclusively white porn like 1980's & 90's Playboy & Penthouse (I know, because as a little sister I did my duty by constantly going through all his stuff when he wasn't in his room just to drive him nuts). Many of his girlfriends were nonwhite. My father's a White man, raised by a White woman, bought exclusively white porn, married two white women and now is married to a Philipina woman. My sweetie & his friends grew up in the 70's on the South Side of Chicago, they were raised by Black women, their porn was the nearly exclusively Black pornography that the adult men in their world preferred.

Black Men have not been programmed to prefer White Women. Your libido is not the subject of a government plot.

Just as the Zionist Owned Government is not using episodes of Reading Rainbow to manipulate White Women into lusting after Black Men -- the way some White Men would have you believe -- White Men are not manipulating the media to make Black Men abandon their mothers.

Choosing to sleep with, date or marry a White Woman is not a rejection of your mother.

Did Barack Obama reject his mother when he married Michelle?

Black Men and White Women have lots in common. Black Men and White Women tend to look really hot together. Black Men and White women tend to produce particularly attractive and successful children. Black Men and White Women are increasingly displeased with the downsides of monoracial relationships.

There are lots of reasons White Women and Black Men are getting together. None of them are secret porn plots.
 
BlackMasterJay said:
We are socialized to believe white women are the epitome of womanhood (Books of facts, 2009). Any nurse or midwife will tell you that babies tend to perceive their biological mothers as being the most beautiful thing (ever). How then, can this perception we have of our mothers as babies suddenly and drastically alter as we get older?? How can we not aim to have children that reflect the nature of our beings?

You see as children we were in love with she who birthed us, but something went drastically astray along the journey. Something called PORN.
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I strongly disagree. Babies may believe that their biological mother is the most beautiful person in the world. But they outgrow this very early in childhood, well before they are exposed to porn. I have never heard of a 4 year old who was just so in love with his/her mother. Being in love with mothers as infants is a huge evolutionary advantage as it builds a love bond between the mother and child.

Evolutionary advantage, however, means that children need to outgrow it early because fucking your mother can easily produce retarded kids. It is a very powerful evolutionary disadvantage to have such feelings for your mother when you are at a reproducing age. Also, dating someone exactly like your mother is also an evolutionary disadvantage because you and your mother have very similar genes. As such, you naturally become attracted to someone who doesn't look like your mother. This article bears this out: http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/04/13/o.laws.of.sex.attraction/index.html

I know most dudes will not admit that "sex" is the force that propels them to find a mate, but come on,,who ya kidding??...By watching porn, i believe we begin to have a different perspective of WHITE women. They look a little easier, a better target if you will. A walking prey waiting to fucked, and this is not the view we have of black women.

Clearly, the only reason white women are pursued so aggressively and relentlessly by so many men of all nationalities; is primarily based on sexual intercourse. I doubt these same brothers (or asians) would treat a "sister" with such condensation and objectivity
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I liked white women well before I started liking porn, so I strongly disagree with the fact that we like porn because of white women. Well, maybe that's your story, but that is not true of myself at all. Black men pursue white women for the same reason why everyone else does. They do it because of simple attraction. Either you are attracted to someone or a certain type, or you are not. And there is little the media can do to change or influence it. The media, at best, can tell you what you SHOULD be attracted to, which most people will follow because they want to "save face". But it can't determine for you who or what you truly like.
 
Listen If I was the dude in that movie, I'd be cheating my ass off. Damn that girl is fine! Yeah I'm married to Beyonce, but still, I'd break that white girl back.
 
esp is the porn was black porn and magazines. and he assumes all saw porn and if you say you didnt he will say all have seen more like he knows that everyone is like him and there are no black men who are good enough to reject porn.

some of us like the girls of other races for other factors besides sex, because we may have be raised around them and have had better experiences with them--non sexually , socially and find a closeness to them.

porn is not a factor for all of us
 
I think that it is unfortunate that a movie like "Obsessed" comes out. The whole point of the movie is to try and push a view point that there is something wrong with a white women who is interested in black men...basically they are crazy. Movies like that are clearly the work of people who are against white women and black men dating...much like "Jungle Fever" was back in the day.

If the movie was really about a woman's obsession with a married man, the issue could have been easily explored with a gorgeous black woman pursuing the main character. The movie could have still had all the suspense and drama and gotten its point across. The racial dimension was added for political/social reasons and some shock value. The villianess was made white to play upon the fears of black women, that a white woman might decide to take their man and destroy their home oneday. The audience is also spoon fed the message that the white women who stray from the fold and are highly attracted to black men have serious mental problems...especially if they are attractive.

It would be very interesting what the public's attitude toward this movie would have been had the story been about a black woman pursuing a married white man, or a black man pursuing a married white women who repeatedly rejected his advances. The movie would have gotten huge amounts criticism from the black community. Had the crazy woman been asian, it would not have caused a big ruckus and might have been a good story dealing with obsessions, but it would not have had the political and social dimensions that the filmmakers wanted. And the fear...the subconscious fear, would not have been there... for that only an attractive white women would do.

In the last few years there have been several movies that dealt with or included white males dating black women. That movie "Something Different" comes to mind immediately as it comes on cable quite a lot. These movies always portray both the blackwomen and white men very positively and usually portrays the blackmen in a very negative light. See, no fear there...so everything is ok.
 
I could see a guy being attracted to someone that had his mother's PERSONALITY and wanted his children to be raised with a woman like his mom...but not so much someone that LOOKS like his mom...that would just be weird.
 
As such, you naturally become attracted to someone who doesn't look like your mother.
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That isn't (necessarily) true. This may be besides the point but the idea of something being "unnatural" is a fallacy. Because we are material beings (comprised of the same subatomic particles that everything else in nature is comprised of), all human behavior is natural phenomenon. For something to be 'unnatural' it would have to be magic (ie. supernatural).

Most people have a 'yuck' response to having sex with their mother because of the Westermark effect and cultural taboos against incest but you'd be surprised at how many people do have sex with or are attracted to immediate family members, even ones they were raised with. The Westermark effect is a form of reverse sexual imprinting, when most people are frequently exposed to someone from birth-6, the most asexual period of their lives, they are conditioned to subconsciously view that person in a completely non-sexual context. It has nothing to do with incest per se because it doesn't apply to relatives that one was not raised with, it does apply to non- blood relatives that one was raised with. Without the Westermark effect, humans actually have a natural inclination to other people who appear to be genetically similar to them (studies have shown this). However, race is not a genetic concept, it's entirely possible for a Black person and a White person to be more closely related to each other than they are to other members of their 'race'. Inbreeding increases the chances of offspring being born with a genetic defect but we wouldn't consciously or subconsciously realize this if we didn't learn it through observation.

You also underestimate how influential the media is in determining what kind of men/women we are attracted to. Studies have shown that people are most attracted to people that they are frequently exposed to and in close proximity with. I know I wrote an essay but psychology (and science in general) is a big interest of mine.
 
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