Afraid to approach someone of another race?

[The Dark King]

I get what you're saying, and I don't dispute it. This may well piss some people off, but I honestly don't think any white person on the planet can truly appreciate your point. Oh we all say we can, that some of us are colorblind, which in some cases is true, but honestly that just takes us further away from being able to grasp your point of view. To fully appreciate what you're saying we don't need to be colorblind, we need to be black. I am not black, I cannot ever be black, thus I am incapable of truly empathizing with a black person. Lord knows I try my best, but ultimately I cannot suffer the same experiences a black person has and can, therefore I will never be able to fully understand.

I remember reading something in a Multiculturalism class in college that was shocking to me and something I'd honestly never given thought to, but which illustrates this point. A black man made the statement "when I look in the mirror I don't see a man, I see a black man." I realized at that moment that I had never, not once looked in the mirror to see a white woman. The color of my skin has never been something that I'm consciously aware of, and it shouldn't be for anyone else, but despite that being a lovely idea, it's not practical.

Espy you are truly beautiful and I appreciate you seeing my point of view because I know it's hard for a lot of people to suspend their egos the way you just did. Kudos.

 

[Espy]

Espy you are truly beautiful and I appreciate you seeing my point of view because I know it's hard for a lot of people to suspend their egos the way you just did. Kudos.

Pfft... I don't have an ego Andrae. And I don't see what ego has to do with stating the obvious, or at least my opinion of the obvious. But thanks, and you're welcome.

 

[The Dark King]

Pfft... I don't have an ego Andrae. And I don't see what ego has to do with stating the obvious, or at least my opinion of the obvious. But thanks, and you're welcome.

Ego in the sense of self awareness vs being completely aware.
Not in the narcasistic way where you are self obsessed.
Being able to see life through the lens of others not just yourself.

Btw it might be obvious to many people pretend like its not.

 

[Espy]

Ego in the sense of self awareness vs being completely aware.
Not in the narcasistic way where you are self obsessed.
Being able to see life through the lens of others not just yourself.

Btw it might be obvious to many people pretend like its not.

Thanks, I'm a little dense today. Expecting insults where there are none, and that sort of thing.

 

[The Dark King]

Thanks, I'm a little dense today. Expecting insults where there are none, and that sort of thing.

I would never insult you you're wwbm gf lol

 

[Espy]

I would never insult you you're wwbm gf lol

Nice to know someone likes me today!

 

[FG]

Nice to know someone likes me today!

I like you today - and any other day..

 

[Espy]

I like you today - and any other day..

Thanks FG! I'm just irritated at someone who actually IMd me to tell me not to comment on a thread so that people didn't perceive me to be stupid. Yeah, whatever.

 

[FG]

Thanks FG! I'm just irritated at someone who actually IMd me to tell me not to comment on a thread so that people didn't perceive me to be stupid. Yeah, whatever.

ehhhh?
That is weird.
Does this someone have some sort of all encompassing insight to what everybody thinks?
:smt012

 

[z]

a reference on the social value of race in America where skin color does affect the way people percieve you and value you. I really don't have problems meeting attractive white women but I think being very well educated and in shape and being six feet help people to over look me being black. In this country I live in you are black first and person second. I'm not making that up ask any black person from the US. I'd believe 9 out of 10 would back me up. As for dating out of my country thats the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Why would I want to date someone out of the country where my job and lived ones are.
When I make certain statements it's not out of bitterness or the inability to find woman to date, it's just an observation of the world as I see it.

Andrae- for the second, I thought that was me speaking, LoL. You nailed it on the head, fam, kudos!

 

[z]

I honestly don't think any white person on the planet can truly appreciate your point. Oh we all say we can, that some of us are colorblind, which in some cases is true, but honestly that just takes us further away from being able to grasp your point of view. To fully appreciate what you're saying we don't need to be colorblind, we need to be black. I am not black, I cannot ever be black, thus I am incapable of truly empathizing with a black person. Lord knows I try my best, but ultimately I cannot suffer the same experiences a black person has and can, therefore I will never be able to fully understand.
I realized at that moment that I had never, not once looked in the mirror to see a white woman. The color of my skin has never been something that I'm consciously aware of, and it shouldn't be for anyone else, but despite that being a lovely idea, it's not practical.

Very well put my dear, very well put.

Espy for prez, Espy for prez.... I think I've nominated you for this job b4... oh well......how about Espy for UN secretary? LoL

 

[chicity]

Oh boy you missed the point. I was cosigning that those women weren't exceptional and as far as the dating thing I was making a reference on the social value of race in America where skin color does affect the way people percieve you and value you. I really don't have problems meeting attractive white women but I think being very well educated and in shape and being six feet help people to over look me being black. In this country I live in you are black first and person second. I'm not making that up ask any black person from the US. I'd believe 9 out of 10 would back me up. As for dating out of my country thats the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Why would I want to date someone out of the country where my job and lived ones are.
When I make certain statements it's not out of bitterness or the inability to find woman to date, it's just an observation of the world as I see it sweetheart.

It's not polite to call married women sweetheart. It's never polite to use it as a put down, but it's especially impolite to call a married woman sweetheart. Please stop.

I don't know why you are lecturing me on racial injustice in this country, when I am one of the most militant people on the board.

I am trying to get you to specifically back up your theory that White Women don't want you. You say that you don't mean you personally. So where are you getting your theory? It can't just be freakonomics, even tho you won't tolerate any debate on that data. Is it your friends? Where are you observing all these White Women who don't want Black Men? Alabama?

The racial injustice that exists throughout this country is not necessarily reflected in the minds of young white women who are of decent quality that are interested in dating interracially. That is my whole position. Please respond to that, and refrain from disdainful pet names or digressions from the point.

 

[Espy]

ehhhh?
That is weird.
Does this someone have some sort of all encompassing insight to what everybody thinks?
:smt012

Apparently, or at least the male insight. Funny a man telling me he's worried that I'm going to come across as questionably intelligent to other men, yeah like that's a big draw anyway... whatever.

 

[chicity]

It just doesn't seem like what you're saying, andrae09, is all that far from porcelansnowbird's posts.

You seem to be of the theory that White Women all hold Black Men to a standard that is higher than the one they hold White Men to.

As evidence, you use racism in America.

But the White Women who date interracially are already different from other White Women in that they do date interracially.

Not every White Woman is racist. Dating interracially is a good sign she's not.

But if you go into every date treating every White Woman like she's suspect, you will only be denying yourself.

It's better to trust your allies, once in awhile.

 

[Espy]

Very well put my dear, very well put.

Thanks GZ, on occasion I do actually manage to use my brain.

 

[xoxo]

A black man made the statement "when I look in the mirror I don't see a man, I see a black man." I realized at that moment that I had never, not once looked in the mirror to see a white woman. The color of my skin has never been something that I'm consciously aware of, and it shouldn't be for anyone else, but despite that being a lovely idea, it's not practical.

You would look in the mirror and see a White woman if your perception of Whiteness, Race or Color was determined by Black people, or from an African historical perspective. You would be defining yourself through how Black people see you, because it would be their cultural norms and ideas (specifically about race) that determine your perception of yourself. If a Black person sees himself through the perceived perception of White people, and if he takes White culture as the norm, then he might be really seeing the absence of Whiteness and/or projecting every opinion (negative and otherwise) he thinks White people have of him upon himself.

A Black man overly aware of how White people perceive him is certainly going to have issues approaching White women and then he might question if his liking a White woman, or White women in general is not part of some issue of self hate (how he perceives himself) and desire to be accepted and fit in to the norm.

Well, you (the Universal u) can go crazy with this, but if you know yourself and try to find out who you are beyond these social constructs then you might find easier with people and issues like race. Practically, however, this is easier said then done for Black people who have had and still deal with real White prejudice and/or a legacy of it. In this dynamic, one can see it how real prejudice and perceived prejudice often get muddled.