Why can't successful black women get married?

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Black men are 2nd choice/fall back choice to most WW, what a revelation that is! LMAO
 
karmacoma. said:
Which is partly why I'm bowing out of these kinds of threads for now. But a lot of times realistically, the BM is WW's second choice. But I guess that's the difference between men and women, many of us BM don't care.
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UnChosen 1 said:
Black men are 2nd choice/fall back choice to most WW, what a revelation that is! LMAO
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Yawl have always been MY first choice....;)


karmacoma. said:
Oh boy, comparing women with cars another PC no-no... :D
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LOL!

I remember when I was a virgin and the guy I was with wanted me to lose it (of course), cause we'd mess around, but he never struck oil. He said it was like having a Porsche in the garage and not being able to drive it. That didn't bother me. I was a Porsche, not a Yugo....:cool:
 
chicity said:
It's natural that the things that Black people are talking about everywhere would be reflected in the conversations amongst Black Men here. They don't leave their Blackness when they date White Women, they don't loose those conversations either.


I do find it interesting, tho. Everywhere else that this gets discussed, you may see Black Men say terrible things about Black Women. Anything in the book can be fair game, and the Man is not shushed or sent away... so long as all parties are aware that he's going home to a Black Woman. But a Black Man dating a White Woman will be thrown out of the same conversation, and shunned by his peers -- male and female -- in many circumstances.

By contrast, here, all the Black Men are doing the worst thing imaginable everywhere else, but they are self-policing, and still being criticized, for doing what other Black Men generally are able to do without condemnation.
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(Disclaimer: this is not directed towards chi. This is simply to illuminate the point.)

It's like Black men dating Black women are smilingly saying, "Yeah, some of that bad stuff may be true, but I still love you, though."
Knowing that he's going home to a Black woman softens the blow.
In many cases, a Black man dating a White woman does not get that benefit of the doubt even if he does in fact feel that same way on a platonic level.


goodlove said:
dude you said a fuckin mouthful.
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Just so you know, chicity is a lady.
 
chicity said:
From my own tiny viewpoint, it seems to me that the Gender Wars between BM & BW, and how it relates to IR, is the most popular conversation in the Black Community right now.

On every predominately Black message board, chat, blog whatever that I visit, I find the same topic gets the most attention. So too, does the topic come up in almost every casual conversation where the majority of people involved are African American.

White Women in IR don't have the same situation. We are not at the center of attention within our race. We don't have to think about it as much, because no one else is.

It's natural that the things that Black people are talking about everywhere would be reflected in the conversations amongst Black Men here. They don't leave their Blackness when they date White Women, they don't loose those conversations either.


I do find it interesting, tho. Everywhere else that this gets discussed, you may see Black Men say terrible things about Black Women. Anything in the book can be fair game, and the Man is not shushed or sent away... so long as all parties are aware that he's going home to a Black Woman. But a Black Man dating a White Woman will be thrown out of the same conversation, and shunned by his peers -- male and female -- in many circumstances.

By contrast, here, all the Black Men are doing the worst thing imaginable everywhere else, but they are self-policing, and still being criticized, for doing what other Black Men generally are able to do without condemenation.

One thing I know for certain: the problems within the "Black Family" that so hold the attention of the Black Community are the fault of White People. And specifically, in some cases, the fault of White Women. White people created the Welfare rules, White Women pushed Black Women out of the suffragette movement, White people placed the image insecurity in the Black Community, White people emasculated Black Men for generations and masculinized Black Women for generations. Almost None of that was done by White people in our generation, or maybe even most of our parents' generation, but the shit that was done had deep and lasting impact, and it came from our side. If the blowback from that means that Black Men need to vent to each other about Black Women now and then, I am not going to tell them to stop. If it bores us as White Women, who do not have to live with it every day, that's a small price to pay compared to, you know, living with it every day.

And lastly: if Black Men trust you enough to vent like this in front of you, they are paying you a compliment. They trust you enough not to worry that you're going to pop off and say something racist. They feel comfortable enough to share their problems in front of you, despite the fact that it makes them vulnerable by opening themselves to the most time-worn attacks used on Black Men -- they have mental issues, they have problems with their mothers, they hate themselves, etc etc. If a Black Man is trusting you as a White Woman to hear this? That's not something every Black Man lets just any White person hear.
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Excellent - We have come to terms
 
lipstick said:
apparently men around here are alot more interested in bw then they would like us to believe...how many wm threads do we have...what? there is nothing to count? really? is it any wonder bw come here...they love knowing that you all are talking about them...thinking about them...you might as well be dating and marrying them...i get the impression some of you like ww for the wrong reason...it shouldn't be because you don't like bw:smt009
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damn good pt. you should be dating a ww because she is a good person not to spite someone else
 
goodlove said:
damn good pt. you should be dating a ww because she is a good person not to spite someone else
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Agreed.

And anybody that goes pursuing a relationship just to present said Significant Other as a "Thorn In Your Detractor's Side".....needs to grow up...before they one day wake up and show remorse over their using, like a toy, The One Who Would Have Loved Them in their solitary loneliness...

'Nuff Said!!!!

















OpinionsCartoonStudios@Yahoo.Co.UK
 
andrae09 said:
Damn Chi great post. I don't understand we can totally agree on one topic but tottally disagree on another topic. Hope we find middle ground at some point but I like the way your mind works ma.
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another good pt. the problem about posting is that if you have a differring pov then there will be someone who will aspersions because of it. some people cant agree to disagree, try to see the others pov, or just show some decuram. sometimes the net will lose your intent in what you are trying to say.

some people get on the net and lose their freakin mind. they get gangster on the net you know
 
Los Angeles said:
He's hopelessly clueless.

You can't expect his brain to do much.
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lipstick said:
actually i think it's only fair to point out that the women here stayed on topic with jesse...it was all about what he did to sandra...it wasn't wm this and wm that...we know better than to group them together as a whole because one person is not a representation of an entire group

i don't love and prefer to be with black men because i hate wm...i am more attracted to black men...they catch my eye...it's my internal radar...i can appreciate a good looking white, asian, hispanic man but my mouth doesn't water the same way when i see a bm that i am attracted to...

i understand that the bm have to deal with the bw issue and it must not be fun being dogged in the media all the time...quite frankly you all don't have to defend yourselves to the ww here so perhaps you all are hoping that bw do come here to read about your outrage...

when bw talk badly about bm as a whole...what i hear is the charlie brown teacher...just noise...
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well here is a great place for men to express themselves over the issue. it also hurt bm as a hole because it is demeaning and demoralizing.
 
Brotha Ajax said:
Judging by a lot of the posts I've read referring to black women, the "be the bigger and better man" shit has gone out the window, though.
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to some extent it is true what you are saying BUT like chi stated bm need to talk about it. not just on this site either. bm need to stop being the whipping boy.

Im not a slave anymore fuck that whipping shit.
 
To answer the question, a lot have been brainwashed into thinking what a "real man" must have and possess in his bank account. They must ahve a certain type of confidence beyond normal confidence.

Second reason they chose to mess with the wrong type of guys in thier youth and really fuck with those type of guys a lot until mid to late 30's. It is only then do they want a good black man and most aren't around.

Power Struggle in the relationships with men who they are with.

Now a lot of sucessful black females I know are married . But I talked still on a friends tip and they give me these reasons as the ones why their GF's have no men in their lives
 
artbunker said:
To answer the question, a lot have been brainwashed into thinking what a "real man" must have and possess in his bank account. They must ahve a certain type of confidence beyond normal confidence.

Second reason they chose to mess with the wrong type of guys in thier youth and really fuck with those type of guys a lot until mid to late 30's. It is only then do they want a good black man and most aren't around.

Power Struggle in the relationships with men who they are with.

Now a lot of sucessful black females I know are married . But I talked still on a friends tip and they give me these reasons as the ones why their GF's have no men in their lives
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WELCOME BACK BROTHER ART!
 
Some men here are bitter because BW never gave them a chance so they went to WW. If your a young buck maybe you should get a pass, but if your in your thirties still talking the whole BW/BM this, that, and the third. WOWWW...:shock: GET OVER IT
 
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