Never Satisfied why Nerdy black men can't find happiness

[chicity]

There are practically no "Black Nerds" portrayed ever in any entertainment.

That's why everyone's referencing Urkel. Because who else is there?

There aren't any Black characters at all in movies like Can't Buy Me Love. Black people apparently were not invented until long after the 80's. Don't get me wrong, I love the old 80's-tastic movies, I've seen Can't Buy Me Love a dozen times. But the reason why there was never a Black nerd getting the girl was because there was never a Black nerd, because there was never a Black person in most movies.

People tend to think Black Nerds aren't really nerds. This is because they've never tried to have a conversation with my friends. But it's also because Black Men are perceived to have swag from the day they're born. Put a Black nerd next to a White nerd, and the Black nerd seems less nerdy, even if his hacking kung fu is far superior.

It used to drive my husband & I nuts that "Beauty & the Geek" would get rid of all the minorities right away, and they never had a Black nerd. I think maybe some people think every Black nerd is secretly Shaft in disguise.

None of this means necessarily that the Black nerd doesn't get the girl. If we were ever to see a realistic Black nerd, who knows how it would be portrayed. Urkel was not a realistic nerd. Who has ever met anyone like Urkel, really? The guys on Big Bang Theory are realistic. I've had nearly all their conversations, you can meet nearly all of them at any Comicon. Occasionally Sheldon is played unrealistically for comic effect, but mostly they're pretty believable.

We've never seen characters like that played by Black Men. It's not fair to say whether they would be portrayed as being loved or not, until we do.

 

[The Dark King]

When it comes to WM nerds getting the girl in movies and t.v. shows it happens all the time. In fact it's damn near the norm.

In Hollywood WM nerds get shown more love than BM sex symbols.

Definitely cosigning this fam

 

[shaft2k4]

Definitely cosigning this fam

Thanks man. This shit is so blatant I don't really get how it's even a question. Take this guy for instance, Michael Cera -

Nothing against the guy but he typically plays dork roles yet is still a romantic leading man in almost everything he's in.




"Nerd overcoming odds to get girl" is actually a common plot device in t.v. and movies--- so long as that nerd is a WM at least.

 

[The Dark King]

Thanks man. This shit is so blatant I don't really get how it's even a question. Take this guy for instance, Michael Cera -

Nothing against the guy but he typically plays dork roles yet is still a romantic leading man in almost everything he's in.




"Nerd overcoming odds to get girl" is actually a common plot device in t.v. and movies--- so long as that nerd is a WM at least.

Exactly even on Big Bang Theory every single guy has had a romantic interest except Raj. Sheldon who is completely socially awkward has even found someone. There are few shows that will concentrate on a minority love story unless the bm is a jock or some form of cool kid.

 

[chicity]

Exactly even on Big Bang Theory every single guy has had a romantic interest except Raj. Sheldon who is completely socially awkward has even found someone. There are few shows that will concentrate on a minority love story unless the bm is a jock or some form of cool kid.

Yeah, but Raj did sleep with the nympho who was friends with Sheldon.

Raj will definitely get a girlfriend on the show eventually, if it stays on for even 2 more seasons. They milked the "can't speak to girls" thing for awhile, but he will definitely get a girl soon. And then loose her, for comedic effect, probably.


The only thing stopping Black nerds from getting girls in movies & tv is the fact that they aren't there.

 

[Raul Sinclair]

Urkel was not a realistic nerdQUOTE]

Remember his basketball skills. Crossing dudes on the court.

 

[The Dark King]

Yeah, but Raj did sleep with the nympho who was friends with Sheldon.

Raj will definitely get a girlfriend on the show eventually, if it stays on for even 2 more seasons. They milked the "can't speak to girls" thing for awhile, but he will definitely get a girl soon. And then loose her, for comedic effect, probably.


The only thing stopping Black nerds from getting girls in movies & tv is the fact that they aren't there.

The cool alphas barely get any play on film and tv so you think a black nerd will have more luck? Puhleasssssssseeeee!!!!!

 

[The Dark King]

Urkel was not a realistic nerdQUOTE]

Remember his basketball skills. Crossing dudes on the court.

I forgot about that. The biggest black nerd ever and he was nice at basketball.

 

[chicity]

The cool alphas barely get any play on film and tv so you think a black nerd will have more luck? Puhleasssssssseeeee!!!!!

So your argument isn't really "Black nerds don't get any love", it's "Black Men are profoundly underrepresented in movies and tv, and even amongst those few, romantic leads are very rare".

The second argument I agree with. The first one I don't.

If you put a Black nerd on a regular show, that kept getting renewed, the fear is that the female audience would start to demand a romantic pairing. Worse, they may choose who they'd prefer for the female lead, and it might not have anything to do with the plans of the writers and producers. The fear is that Black Men are naturally charismatic, and that the "nerdiness" would be lost to the romantic scenes. The fear is that a Black nerd is simply not nerdy enough to cast. Over and over, producers have chucked Black male characters because they developed more of a female following than the producers wanted, and because they had natural on-screen chemistry with female characters that the producers never intended them to have a chance with (Tyr, Andromeda for instance).

Those with an interest in maintaining racial stereotypes don't like the idea of a smart Black Man being portrayed at all. They sure as hell don't want him to be smart and sexy at the same time.

That isn't the same as "The Black Nerd gets no love", it's more like "Everyone is scared of the Black Nerd, and the possibility of him getting loving".



-----

You want nerd? I'll show you nerd. I have a cassette recording of Gene Roddenberry talking about the character of Data. He wanted the character far sooner, but was blocked by execs who hated the character. They worried that he had created a character that was superior to the other characters. They tried to insist that if he used the character, it must never ever be involved in a romantic relationship. He said that that it was all about the White Men's fear about Black Men in that moment.



So you see what I'm saying? It's not that no one loves Black nerds. It's that some people are afraid of just how much love they'll get.

 

[SmoothDaddy101]

There are practically no "Black Nerds" portrayed ever in any entertainment.

That's why everyone's referencing Urkel. Because who else is there?

There aren't any Black characters at all in movies like Can't Buy Me Love. Black people apparently were not invented until long after the 80's. Don't get me wrong, I love the old 80's-tastic movies, I've seen Can't Buy Me Love a dozen times. But the reason why there was never a Black nerd getting the girl was because there was never a Black nerd, because there was never a Black person in most movies.

People tend to think Black Nerds aren't really nerds. This is because they've never tried to have a conversation with my friends. But it's also because Black Men are perceived to have swag from the day they're born. Put a Black nerd next to a White nerd, and the Black nerd seems less nerdy, even if his hacking kung fu is far superior.

It used to drive my husband & I nuts that "Beauty & the Geek" would get rid of all the minorities right away, and they never had a Black nerd. I think maybe some people think every Black nerd is secretly Shaft in disguise.

None of this means necessarily that the Black nerd doesn't get the girl. If we were ever to see a realistic Black nerd, who knows how it would be portrayed. Urkel was not a realistic nerd. Who has ever met anyone like Urkel, really? The guys on Big Bang Theory are realistic. I've had nearly all their conversations, you can meet nearly all of them at any Comicon. Occasionally Sheldon is played unrealistically for comic effect, but mostly they're pretty believable.

We've never seen characters like that played by Black Men. It's not fair to say whether they would be portrayed as being loved or not, until we do.

I do agree with you there...1,000% The NAACP actually killed the chance for black actors to play multi-dimensional roles. Look it up, its true.

 

[madscientist]

I do agree with you there...1,000% The NAACP actually killed the chance for black actors to play multi-dimensional roles. Look it up, its true.

Can you provide me with a source? Not that I don't believe you, but I would love to see it (and store it) myself.

 

[SmoothDaddy101]

Can you provide me with a source? Not that I don't believe you, but I would love to see it (and store it) myself.

Google NAACP and Blaxploitation.

Had they not tagged those films as Blaxploitation, there would have been more diverse roles for Black actors in the 80s (where there were hardly any). Don't mention Tyler Perry because his stuff is a throwback to the minstrel shows of the 1920s.

 

[goodlove]

Google NAACP and Blaxploitation.

Had they not tagged those films as Blaxploitation, there would have been more diverse roles for Black actors in the 80s (where there were hardly any). Don't mention Tyler Perry because his stuff is a throwback to the minstrel shows of the 1920s.

sometimes the naacp gets in the way...if this is true....

people dont realize that in the begining half the originating staff of the NAACP was white and jewish

 

[karmacoma.]

Hate to break up the pity party but J.J. Abrams' "Undercovers" for NBC is a Black, TV version of "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or a spy version of "Hart to Hart" on a major network.

Maybe if everybody who whines about there not being enough well-rounded Black characters on TV watches it, it might last 13 weeks.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/149877/nbc-fall-preview-2010-2011-undercovers---full-length-trailer

 

[Tony Soprano]

Hate to break up the pity party but J.J. Abrams' "Undercovers" for NBC is a Black, TV version of "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or a spy version of "Hart to Hart" on a major network.

Maybe if everybody who whines about there not being enough well-rounded Black characters on TV watches it, it might last 13 weeks.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/149877/nbc-fall-preview-2010-2011-undercovers---full-length-trailer

Looks promising. However I fear that it might eventually end up getting cancelled anyway because it's "too" good of a show if you know what I mean.

 

[The Dark King]

Looks promising. However I fear that it might eventually end up getting cancelled anyway because it's "too" good of a show if you know what I mean.

Yeah I'm not too sure Boris doesn't have enough presence to carry a show. Michael Eely(I know I spelled that worng) or even Morris Chesnut

 

[Mikey]

I think that the article is total garbage, and I feel the same way about the entire blog. She bashes black nerds as being very unattractive, and talks about black nerds as if they are horrible creatures. But the minute she sees one of them with a white woman, she will blow the trumpets of boycotting that black nerd, calling him a sellout, wondering why he couldn't find a nice black woman, etc.

Fuck that. I've read many of her entries, even entered a discussion on one of them before being permanently banned for having a different opinion. That place is nothing but poison. Her agenda is destructive, psychopathic, narcissistic, and fascist. Fuck that blog.

And like many others said, she seems to be relying on the image of Steve Urkel. But I am a true geek/nerd. Most of my true interests and mindset define me as one. And I hang around lot of geeks and nerds. The classic image of the geek/nerd does not hold up very well in real life. Sure, some fit that stereotype, and many geeks/nerds do have worse than normal social skills. But they tend to be smart, have their own flavor of "cool", are witty, are great conversationalists, curious, open-minded, enlightening, clear thinking, and a lot of times (such as Benjamin Franklin, Richard Feynman, Carl Sagan, Neil deGrasse Tyson, etc.) are charismatic and charming. But then again, my opinion is likely biased.

It is not the fact that she dislikes and trashes nerds that really gets me. She is definitely not my type. But if you won't date one of them, then don't get mad at who they date.

I think I am in the same position, and I guess society sees me in the same way. Although I don't see myself as being an unattractive person, what I'm studying in is basically the kind of stuff that a "nerd" would be doing. Even though people say things like that, it doesn't make you a social outcast. You do definitely hit the nail on the head, especially with what's in bolded text. I would obviously say that I'm really smart, yet also physically desirable from the correct kinds of women.

You are also correct about the possibility of women being controlling against you in a relationship (more likely with BW), and only want to swarm themselves around you because of your prestige and what you've achieved. That's why in a way, I disagree with the notion that you have to have a much higher income than everyone else to be economically successful.

Also, what do you think about attractive white women that wear glasses and major in a field that would be deemed as nerdy? I think a girl who represents the best of both worlds (clearly intelligent and pretty) is ideal, like this.

AHHA thank you I work out hard for my body. I think this womans problem is that she dissed all the good brothers now they don't want her and she is mad about it. She had a lot of bitterness in her and I feel kind of sorry for her. She made a lot of bad choices in men now she want to blame us for it.

I used to be bitter at one point of my life because I was never able to date a lot of sisters growing up. I hit the books hard, started working out learned to be very out going and now I am dating all races of women. I don't hate black women that would mean that I hated my Mother and my aunts etc. I just am tired of them bashing black men evertime I turn around. I am not the man that hurt you and left you with those 4 childern treat me like you want me to treat you with respect.

I share the same exact opinion that you do about black women. I have come across a lot of vitrolic remarks from them on the internet, but if you just can't find a black woman to "click" with, and you get a girl of another ethnicity you mesh better with, then that's just how things are with the relationship.

 

[Hellspawn]

I think I am in the same position, and I guess society sees me in the same way. Although I don't see myself as being an unattractive person, what I'm studying in is basically the kind of stuff that a "nerd" would be doing. Even though people say things like that, it doesn't make you a social outcast. You do definitely hit the nail on the head, especially with what's in bolded text. I would obviously say that I'm really smart, yet also physically desirable from the correct kinds of women.

A good amount of it, I feel, comes from the context of what the black community takes to be as a nerd/geek/dork (I have very specific definitions for those words). Seeing I'm a nerd/geek, I take it that I have interests that are uncommon and that everyone else is not into....and that I might have someone ask me to help them with homework but when it comes to a number you get the "friends" talk.

As far as women are concerned, you might as well pull Mr. Fantastic's "Fellas What do you Think?" into this. I've seen that video before, and for the most part, it highlights the woman's biases, but unfortunately, it doesn't leave out what some men may experience. Stereotypically, smart men of any race don't fare well with women. Add blackness upon it and it really becomes a phenomenon that I can never explain (unless, perhaps, I was to move out of this city). To really try to come down to a single conclusion is useless, as many guys like myself are college kids with no home of their own, trying to find (and keep) a job that will let them have part time.

That's why in a way, I disagree with the notion that you have to have a much higher income than everyone else to be economically successful.

To me, it comes down to how the money is handled and saved. I think a decent income with that combination can really create some economic prosperity.

Also, what do you think about attractive white women that wear glasses and major in a field that would be deemed as nerdy? I think a girl who represents the best of both worlds (clearly intelligent and pretty) is ideal, like this.

She's attractive. But I suppose there really aren't too many presumptions about her appearance though.

I share the same exact opinion that you do about black women. I have come across a lot of vitrolic remarks from them on the internet, but if you just can't find a black woman to "click" with, and you get a girl of another ethnicity you mesh better with, then that's just how things are with the relationship.

I don't know if I share the same opinion, but I've almost experienced no real sexual/romantic vibe between a black woman save for as many fingers on my hand. Typify it as area, people, or personality, but it has usually been not satisfactory. It's unfortunate I have to say it, but maybe having our own things (house, car, career) will level out the playing field for us.

 

[goodlove]

I think I am in the same position, and I guess society sees me in the same way. Although I don't see myself as being an unattractive person, what I'm studying in is basically the kind of stuff that a "nerd" would be doing. Even though people say things like that, it doesn't make you a social outcast. You do definitely hit the nail on the head, especially with what's in bolded text. I would obviously say that I'm really smart, yet also physically desirable from the correct kinds of women.

You are also correct about the possibility of women being controlling against you in a relationship (more likely with BW), and only want to swarm themselves around you because of your prestige and what you've achieved. That's why in a way, I disagree with the notion that you have to have a much higher income than everyone else to be economically successful.

Also, what do you think about attractive white women that wear glasses and major in a field that would be deemed as nerdy? I think a girl who represents the best of both worlds (clearly intelligent and pretty) is ideal, like this.

I share the same exact opinion that you do about black women. I have come across a lot of vitrolic remarks from them on the internet, but if you just can't find a black woman to "click" with, and you get a girl of another ethnicity you mesh better with, then that's just how things are with the relationship.

A good amount of it, I feel, comes from the context of what the black community takes to be as a nerd/geek/dork (I have very specific definitions for those words). Seeing I'm a nerd/geek, I take it that I have interests that are uncommon and that everyone else is not into....and that I might have someone ask me to help them with homework but when it comes to a number you get the "friends" talk.

As far as women are concerned, you might as well pull Mr. Fantastic's "Fellas What do you Think?" into this. I've seen that video before, and for the most part, it highlights the woman's biases, but unfortunately, it doesn't leave out what some men may experience. Stereotypically, smart men of any race don't fare well with women. Add blackness upon it and it really becomes a phenomenon that I can never explain (unless, perhaps, I was to move out of this city). To really try to come down to a single conclusion is useless, as many guys like myself are college kids with no home of their own, trying to find (and keep) a job that will let them have part time.



To me, it comes down to how the money is handled and saved. I think a decent income with that combination can really create some economic prosperity.



She's attractive. But I suppose there really aren't too many presumptions about her appearance though.



I don't know if I share the same opinion, but I've almost experienced no real sexual/romantic vibe between a black woman save for as many fingers on my hand. Typify it as area, people, or personality, but it has usually been not satisfactory. It's unfortunate I have to say it, but maybe having our own things (house, car, career) will level out the playing field for us.

I dont think it uncool to be a nerd....Its uncool to not have confidence in yourself. the classic people to talk about are Obama and cornell west (he has been married several times

lets face it Obama and cornel are intellectuals . Obama's wife is good looking so you can pull a fine ass woman if you have a good mouth piece and walk with confidence and dress good and lastly manage your money. they dont really care if you have a nerdy job.

 

[Mikey]

A good amount of it, I feel, comes from the context of what the black community takes to be as a nerd/geek/dork (I have very specific definitions for those words). Seeing I'm a nerd/geek, I take it that I have interests that are uncommon and that everyone else is not into....and that I might have someone ask me to help them with homework but when it comes to a number you get the "friends" talk.

As far as women are concerned, you might as well pull Mr. Fantastic's "Fellas What do you Think?" into this. I've seen that video before, and for the most part, it highlights the woman's biases, but unfortunately, it doesn't leave out what some men may experience. Stereotypically, smart men of any race don't fare well with women. Add blackness upon it and it really becomes a phenomenon that I can never explain (unless, perhaps, I was to move out of this city). To really try to come down to a single conclusion is useless, as many guys like myself are college kids with no home of their own, trying to find (and keep) a job that will let them have part time.

To me, it comes down to how the money is handled and saved. I think a decent income with that combination can really create some economic prosperity.

She's attractive. But I suppose there really aren't too many presumptions about her appearance though.

I don't know if I share the same opinion, but I've almost experienced no real sexual/romantic vibe between a black woman save for as many fingers on my hand. Typify it as area, people, or personality, but it has usually been not satisfactory. It's unfortunate I have to say it, but maybe having our own things (house, car, career) will level out the playing field for us.

Unfortunately, I have realized this and that's part of the reason I'm fundamentally in the awkward position I find myself in. I will address each point that you made and relate it to what you've said, from my perspective.

To your first paragraph, I am a great athlete, but not correct by the standards by the black community. The sports that are represented and acknowledged most by the black community are Football and Basketball. The BW express interest for BM that have involvement in particularly those kinds of sports. Track would come behind that, and the main focus is on the Sprinters, within track & field. However, I'm unable to fit in, because I'm a long distance runner. The only people that participate in that sport (predominantly) are white guys and white girls.

To your second point, I'm glad you think that money definitely isn't the make-or-break thing for yourself and the relationship. In my opinion, the economic resiliency of the area you live in is a more important factor for me.

To what I put in bold, I'm aware that stereotype exists, and I fit in with it, unfortunately. I think more-so it would apply to black women because they don't prefer BM like myself. I don't know how to explain it, but the BW are interested in completely different kinds of BM. There is that belief that if you prove you're intelligent and really smart, some people have to distance themselves away from you. This is especially true within some BM and BW within the black community. That's why I have to distance myself away from it and hang out with people of other ethnic groups, plus WM and WW. The painful reality is that I know if I am dating outside of my race (any race besides BW), the people that will be complaining are going to be some WM, but more often BW. If the girl is white, people will obviously complain, but if the girl simply looks different from you, BW will complain about lighter skin complexion and use the relationship as a sign that you don't really like darker skinned women. You may even be confronted and someone may ask you "How did you end up hooking up with that gorgeous white girl even though your black?"

To your last thing you mentioned, I have the same problem. There is a lack of sexual drive/sexual energy that powers up when I see BW. Sometimes, when I see WW, the power up occurs and your gut instincts tell you to initiate a conversation with her. So it's not that I'm hating on BW or bashing BW, the energy and sexual appeal just isn't there.

I dont think it uncool to be a nerd....Its uncool to not have confidence in yourself. the classic people to talk about are Obama and cornell west (he has been married several times

lets face it Obama and cornel are intellectuals . Obama's wife is good looking so you can pull a fine ass woman if you have a good mouth piece and walk with confidence and dress good and lastly manage your money. they dont really care if you have a nerdy job.

LOL :razz: