I don't really think it was "my point"
I was talking mostly about an ethical responsibility towards someone you claimed to love who is now destitute. If a Man looses his career because he failed to move for his family, and is destitute at the time of divorce, and the wife is not, she would also have an ethical responsibility (again, in most not all cases), to help him get on his feet
Blaming your husband for not keeping a promise to you is not blaming him for your own shit choices. If he says "baby, give up your life for me and I will take care of you", and then he follows up with "my bad, I found someone prettier, guess it's soup kitchen time for you, lame-o."
You keep saying "well, that's their choice", but in a marriage you make a million choices that aren't just life gambles -- they're betting on your spouse. In marriage, you agree to trust in each other. Women, particularly, often follow their husband's lead. If someone says "trust me", and they're lying to you, then you can reasonably blame them for that.
In all contracts, you are expected to live up to your end of the deal. If you fail to do so, you can be held liable. I'm not supporting alimony, or any of that. But if you want to start claiming that people are blaming others for their own mistakes, you should include those who are defaulting on their contracts.