Feeling Guilty About Attraction to White Women?

[GQ Brotha]

Thank you for that. I know I'm new here and I'm not going to make judgments, but I've been uncomfortable with some of the comments about BW I've seen so far. Forgive the cliche, but as a white woman, I am friends with several black women. They have their own challenges and I try to see things from their perspective too.

The one who's closest to me was aware when I was dating a BM. She may have had her private opinions about it, but she was at least nice to my face. Of course, her ex husband is a WM but as we know that wouldn't necessarily make her more tolerant of WW/BM.

Just try to see things from their side. For whatever reason, there are fewer WM interested in BW than the reverse, although thankfully those numbers are increasing every year. So they do have the smallest pool of potential mates to choose from. Just a thought to consider.

You are simply applying a strong level of political correctness in your commentary.

How can you try to see things from the perspective of a black woman, no offense but that sounds very presumptuous to assert that. Black women come in all types, there is not a model for black women that can be scripted.

Some like lowlife thugs, some like refined men, some like white men, some like Asian men, some are hella ghetto, some are well spoken and educated i.e. very varied.

In other words their different interests and experiences shape them very differently. One black woman's perspective is likely different from the next.

While I understand what you are getting at, you also fail to acknowledge that there are black women who are very negative towards black men as well, have no desire to be with a black man and think little of them. Some may have had some shitty experiences with black men in their past and so always on guard. Nothing is ever cut and dry.

I can see how those views would bother a black man if he is interested in them, but since I am not it doesn't bother me in the least bit. Hard to care about something I'm not interested in.

I date white women, because it is what I am attracted to, my personality and interests gels with them much more easily in my own experiences.

Like I stated in my original post in this thread, I would not put down a black woman in front of white women thinking it is some cool thing, because it isn't and serves no benefit to my relationship.

The last thing I want to discuss with white women in my personal life is black women, I rather put my energies towards something that is productive in a relationship.

When it comes to black women, there is only 1 black woman I owe anything to and that is my MOM.

I don't owe any other black woman anything, they are free to live and love whomever they want and its of no interest to me.

 

[GQ Brotha]

Hahaha it's official BM have become more PC than women. Uncle Ruckus for President!

Apparently so bro. I've heard black men be called every name under the sun and it has never phased me, because I'm confident and assertive enough to know that is not me.

If there is one thing I have learned as a black man it is that not everyone will like you, some people will just hate you for being you and no other reason. Should I sit around stressing about that, not a snowballs chance in hell.

We can't stop others from thinking and assuming what they will, that's part of life. I'm just focused on living mine's as happily as possible.

 

[christine dubois]

Apparently so bro. I've heard black men be called every name under the sun and it has never phased me, because I'm confident and assertive enough to know that is not me.

If there is one thing I have learned as a black man it is that not everyone will like you, some people will just hate you for being you and no other reason. Should I sit around stressing about that, not a snowballs chance in hell.

We can't stop others from thinking and assuming what they will, that's part of life. I'm just focused on living mine's as happily as possible.

That's the best you can do! It's absolutly unimportant what others do, think, want or live. It's uneffective and wasting of time to try to understand or to think about people that are totally different to yourself.

Better to use that time for reaching your own goals, to take care of your family and good friends.

 

[GQ Brotha]

That's the best you can do! It's absolutly unimportant what others do, think, want or live. It's uneffective and wasting of time to try to understand or to think about people that are totally different to yourself.

Better to use that time for reaching your own goals, to take care of your family and good friends.

Spot on, that's always been my mindset indeed. Part of that might be reflective of the fact that I'm an only child so I've always flown solo in my makeup.

I have one life to live why spend any of that time worrying about what others think, when there can be a hosts of reasons for their viewpoints of you.

Yes we are all products of respective culture and society as a whole, but I pride myself on trying to transcend those boundaries. In doing so not everyone is welcoming but one has to have a thick skin and realize that let no other man define you.

Let your individual actions speak for themselves. We all know no particular race or ethnicity has a lock on good or shitty individuals.

 

[satyr]

 

[MissWacy]

You are simply applying a strong level of political correctness in your commentary.

How can you try to see things from the perspective of a black woman, no offense but that sounds very presumptuous to assert that. Black women come in all types, there is not a model for black women that can be scripted.

Some like lowlife thugs, some like refined men, some like white men, some like Asian men, some are hella ghetto, some are well spoken and educated i.e. very varied.

In other words their different interests and experiences shape them very differently. One black woman's perspective is likely different from the next.

While I understand what you are getting at, you also fail to acknowledge that there are black women who are very negative towards black men as well, have no desire to be with a black man and think little of them. Some may have had some shitty experiences with black men in their past and so always on guard. Nothing is ever cut and dry.

I can see how those views would bother a black man if he is interested in them, but since I am not it doesn't bother me in the least bit. Hard to care about something I'm not interested in.

I date white women, because it is what I am attracted to, my personality and interests gels with them much more easily in my own experiences.

Like I stated in my original post in this thread, I would not put down a black woman in front of white women thinking it is some cool thing, because it isn't and serves no benefit to my relationship.

The last thing I want to discuss with white women in my personal life is black women, I rather put my energies towards something that is productive in a relationship.

When it comes to black women, there is only 1 black woman I owe anything to and that is my MOM.

I don't owe any other black woman anything, they are free to live and love whomever they want and its of no interest to me.

i thought the same thing, and well said

 

[flaminghetero]

very true, ive often seen bw bash black men something rotten and get praised for it while uplifting their white bf etc as the "perfect father" "perfect upbringing" etc, the way ive seen black women attack black men for liking white women tis pretty sad to be honest, just shows you how intimidated people have gotten these days

BW and WM have the identical "do as I say not as I do" approach to IR dating.

You'd be suprised the crap BW are willing to take from WM.


BM are the ONLY race of men "sisters" refuse to submit to.

Around us...they are bossy and never satisfied...around non-BM...they become as passive as Geisha Girls.

 

[cyn1988]

GQ Brotha, I would never be arrogant enough to assume I can know what it's like to walk in another's shoes. If that's the impression I gave with my comments, it was unintended. Trying to see things from another's perspective, as I see it, merely means I'm being as open-minded as possible. Not that I can read their mind or understand them fully.

Of course every black woman is different, as we all are unique. And yes, I do know there are plenty of black women who are bitter and angry toward black men and WW/BM relationships. No, we should not allow that to affect us because life is indeed too short to waste time worrying what others think. I completely agree on that point -- although I sometimes have a harder time than you seem to actually putting it into practice.

Most of the points you made didn't have to do with my post, and of course I agree with them. I didn't accuse you of hating black women -- nor do I think you owe them anything.

Anyway, I think we basically agree, and I think initially I might not have expressed myself as fully on a couple of points as I should have.

 

[flaminghetero]

True a lot of BW have attitude and short comings but BW bashing is so astronomical in this site and it's laughable. Personally I wouldnt want to date a WW who expects me to bash my fellow BW. There are beautiful and good BW out there. You dont have to justify you liking WW by bashing your sisters.

Since when is bashing BW "astronomical" on this site???

Don't start acting like a BW yourself.:smt043

 

[cyn1988]

GQ Brotha, I would never be arrogant enough to assume I can know what it's like to walk in another's shoes. If that's the impression I gave with my comments, it was unintended. Of course every black woman is different, as we all are unique. And yes, I do know there are plenty of black women who are bitter and angry toward black men and WW/BM relationships. No, we should not allow that to affect us because life is indeed too short to waste time worrying what others think. I completely agree on that point.

I didn't accuse you of hating black women -- nor do I think you owe them anything. Anyway, I think we basically agree, and I wasn't complaining about viewpoints such as yours, but rather comments such as the "brilliant" post we now see from Flaminghetero (quoted below). He is wildly generalizing about black women, which is ridiculous. As you said, each one is unique.

Additionally, Flaming, it might not have been your intent but it seems like you're angry that (supposedly) black women aren't submissive to black men. Real men do not need a submissive woman or have a need to feel superior. More power to them if black women won't submit to you, but this white woman wouldn't either, and plenty other besides.

BW and WM have the identical "do as I say not as I do" approach to IR dating.

You'd be suprised the crap BW are willing to take from WM.


BM are the ONLY race of men "sisters" refuse to submit to.

Around us...they are bossy and never satisfied...around non-BM...they become as passive as Geisha Girls.

 

[flaminghetero]

GQ Brotha, I would never be arrogant enough to assume I can know what it's like to walk in another's shoes. If that's the impression I gave with my comments, it was unintended. Of course every black woman is different, as we all are unique. And yes, I do know there are plenty of black women who are bitter and angry toward black men and WW/BM relationships. No, we should not allow that to affect us because life is indeed too short to waste time worrying what others think. I completely agree on that point.

I didn't accuse you of hating black women -- nor do I think you owe them anything. Anyway, I think we basically agree, and I wasn't complaining about viewpoints such as yours, but rather comments such as the "brilliant" post we now see from Flaminghetero (quoted below). He is wildly generalizing about black women, which is ridiculous.

Additionally, Flaming, you're only feeding into the stupid notion that white women are more submissive, as if that's a desirable thing in this day and age. Real men do not need a submissive woman or have a need to feel superior. More power to them if black women won't submit to you, but this white woman wouldn't either, and plenty other besides.

Sisters are the main ones responsible for the myth that WW are more submissive...then they turn right around and submit to your white brothers..lol

BW are the more submissive than WW.....but not to BM....to anybody not Black.

I'm only calling it as I see it.

Don't buck me...then turn around and act like a Giesha girl with somebody that's not Black.

That's all i'm saying.

I don't have a submissive woman and wouldn't want one if I were single.

 

[cyn1988]

I hear what you're saying, Hetero, and I'm sure you've had personal experiences to back up what you're saying. Even so, I'd be hesitant to make such a blanket statement about any group as a whole based on such limited experience.

Sorry that I misunderstood about you wanting a woman to be submissive. I'm probably a bit sensitive to that issue because I grew up in a very conservative church that was obsessed with the doctrine of the submissive woman and the superiority of men. :roll:

 

[MissWacy]

Since when is bashing BW "astronomical" on this site???

Don't start acting like a BW yourself.:smt043

lol i know i want to know the same thing, because ive been through a few old topics where a user named "blacgrl" and other names she made used to call the ww on here things like "white bitch" and stereotypical things, just made me laugh she came here complaining of so called "anti black threads" yet she was spewing out her own little ww stereotypes and throwing bashing bm fits

 

[flaminghetero]

I hear what you're saying, Hetero, and I'm sure you've had personal experiences to back up what you're saying. Even so, I'd be hesitant to make such a blanket statement about any group as a whole based on such limited experience.

Sorry that I misunderstood about you wanting a woman to be submissive. I'm probably a bit sensitive to that issue because I grew up in a very conservative church that was obsessed with the doctrine of the submissive woman and the superiority of men. :roll:

My experience isn't limited..believe me...I've dated a lot more BW than you have...at least I hope so...j/k

In the Black community...it's more acceptable for BW to date WM than visa versa.

Mainly beacuse we are a matriarchal people.

Go to any Black family reunion and you'll see the RACIST hypocrisy in real time:

(Brother arrives in a new BMW with his attractive White wife)

Black Matriarchs:

"No that Black-ass monkey didn't bring that stringy-haired white bitch around our family"

"What kind of example is he setting"


(5 minutes later...a BW arrives in a smoking pickup-truck with a white guy that looks like he spent the night in a chicken pen)

Black Matriarchs:

"ooooh....here comes Niecy and her husband Cooter...chile they sho' is gonna make some pretty babies"

"Yeah girl...I can't wait to see 'dem babies"


THIS is the kind of shit we have to eat on the regular.

 

[GQ Brotha]

GQ Brotha, I would never be arrogant enough to assume I can know what it's like to walk in another's shoes. If that's the impression I gave with my comments, it was unintended. Of course every black woman is different, as we all are unique. And yes, I do know there are plenty of black women who are bitter and angry toward black men and WW/BM relationships. No, we should not allow that to affect us because life is indeed too short to waste time worrying what others think. I completely agree on that point.

I didn't accuse you of hating black women -- nor do I think you owe them anything. Anyway, I think we basically agree, and I wasn't complaining about viewpoints such as yours

I generally subscribe to the notion that people should mind their own business and I will date whomever I am interested in, to hell if I care what the next person thinks. I'm not laying down with them at night.

I was raised by a black woman, she raised me with respect, good morals and values and to be a man. She helped me through college. She has always known my interest in white girls and she has never had a negative comment to make about my tastes, because she knows my personality and trust me to make the right decisions in my life because of how I was raised.

That is the black woman whose opinion I find the most interesting in my life.

 

[flaminghetero]

lol i know i want to know the same thing, because ive been through a few old topics where a user named "blacgrl" and other names she made used to call the ww on here things like "white bitch" and stereotypical things, just made me laugh she came here complaining of so called "anti black threads" yet she was spewing out her own little ww stereotypes and throwing bashing bm fits

I start thinking troll soon as I see somebody claim we bash BW on this site..it just doesn't happen.

Maybe Chosenone was getting in touch with his inner sistagirl....either way..he told a flat-out lie.

 

[GQ Brotha]

lol i know i want to know the same thing, because ive been through a few old topics where a user named "blacgrl" and other names she made used to call the ww on here things like "white bitch" and stereotypical things, just made me laugh she came here complaining of so called "anti black threads" yet she was spewing out her own little ww stereotypes and throwing bashing bm fits

Some will make the most grandiose generalizations about a black man with a white woman, people they don't know from A-Z, but they feel compelled to make their ignorant, visceral assumptions known.

There has to be some ulterior motive of why a brotha is with a white woman, its never just LOVE, its always some stereotypical assumption.

The moment I see a black woman talking down about black men I start zoning out, its like white noise to me. I simply feel like go lecture the no good dudes you dealt with in your life and get away from me with your sermons. I'm too grown for that shit and don't need a lecture, my own mother never lectured me nor did she ever have reason to.

 

[cyn1988]

My experience isn't limited..believe me...I've dated a lot more BW than you have...at least I hope so...j/k

In the Black community...it's more acceptable for BW to date WM than visa versa.

Mainly beacuse we are a matriarchal people.

Go to any Black family reunion and you'll see the RACIST hypocrisy in real time:

(Brother arrives in a new BMW with his attractive White wife)

Black Matriarchs:

"No that Black-ass monkey didn't bring that stringy-haired white bitch around our family"

"What kind of example is he setting"


(5 minutes later...a BW arrives in a smoking pickup-truck with a white guy that looks like he spent the night in a chicken pen)

Black Matriarchs:

"ooooh....here comes Niecy and her husband Cooter...chile they sho' is gonna make some pretty babies"

"Yeah girl...I can't wait to see 'dem babies"


THIS is the kind of shit we have to eat on the regular.

Well, I can see that I really do lack the life experience to understand all of this fully. I've only dated one BM and didn't even meet his family because they lived far away. But I admit that I have seen enough to know that these attitudes do exist.

I actually met one of my BW friends on a message board, then it turned out we lived near each other. And, I had kind of blocked it out of my memory because it bothered me, there was an entire thread where a number of BW, including her, were complaining about "all the BM celebrities who are with WW." It made me uncomfortable of course.

Bottom line: I still try to avoid generalizing, and try to assess people on a case by case basis, but I am also aware that unfair double standards do exist, and it's not right.

 

[The Dark King]

Well, I can see that I really do lack the life experience to understand all of this fully. I've only dated one BM and didn't even meet his family because they lived far away. But I admit that I have seen enough to know that these attitudes do exist.

I actually met one of my BW friends on a message board, then it turned out we lived near each other. And, I had kind of blocked it out of my memory because it bothered me, there was an entire thread where a number of BW, including her, were complaining about "all the BM celebrities who are with WW." It made me uncomfortable of course.

Bottom line: I still try to avoid generalizing, and try to assess people on a case by case basis, but I am also aware that unfair double standards do exist, and it's not right.

Where are you from kid?

 

[GQ Brotha]

I start thinking troll soon as I see somebody claim we bash BW on this site..it just doesn't happen.

Maybe Chosenone was getting in touch with his inner sistagirl....either way..he told a flat-out lie.

I was wondering about that as well all along, the majority of the posts here are about white women and black men.

If you read the topics in the forums most have nothing to do with black women, much less bashing.

I assume the majority of men here like white women and so in a forum such as this will talk about that.

What good would bashing black women on here or in real life accomplish.