Feeling Guilty About Attraction to White Women?

cyn1988 said:
Well, I can see that I really do lack the life experience to understand all of this fully. I've only dated one BM and didn't even meet his family because they lived far away. But I admit that I have seen enough to know that these attitudes do exist.

I actually met one of my BW friends on a message board, then it turned out we lived near each other. And, I had kind of blocked it out of my memory because it bothered me, there was an entire thread where a number of BW, including her, were complaining about "all the BM celebrities who are with WW." It made me uncomfortable of course.

Bottom line: I still try to avoid generalizing, and try to assess people on a case by case basis, but I am also aware that unfair double standards do exist, and it's not right.
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You will soon see for yourself...when it comes to BM/WW...there is little difference between BW and rednecks...and I'm not just saying this to be mean or even funny.

It's really spooky.

I got cussed-out for being with a WW by a sister that is married to a white guy...!

I try to avoid generalizing myself...but I can't help but call it like I see it.
 
GQ Brotha said:
I was wondering about that as well all along, the majority of the posts here are about white women and black men.

If you read the topics in the forums most have nothing to do with black women, much less bashing.

I assume the majority of men here like white women and so in a forum such as this will talk about that.

What good would bashing black women on here on in real life accomplish.
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WW do not want to hear that shit.

On the other hand.

There aren't many sisters that will stop a white dude from slamming the fuck outta' WW.:smt043
 
xoxo said:
whatever discussion about or against Black women made on here (which is few compared to those on Black message boards) is in the context of Black women as suitable/unsuitable, desirable/undesirable partners in a relationship. Not every Black female in every aspect is being discussed. This is a prime example of blowing shit out of proportion when a Black man who likes white women says something about Black women. This also happens with threads about Black men, we can't discuss certain issues without saying not all "Black men are like that". Well, in those threads no one ever says All Black men and of course we don't mean all Black men.



and yet this poster started a Feeling Guilty About Attraction to White Women? So somebody is feeling guilty and I doubt the men on "Black love" forums go out of there way to let everyone know they are attracted to none Black women and have been with them, yet some of the Black men on her are so quick to dispel the stereotype that they are a self hating "Uncle Ruckus" type..... and proclaim white women as just one of the desirable options among all of the worlds beautiful women they equally choose from. It's fine if the BM on here are like this, but what's wrong with exclusivity?

.

Any white women who does so, speak now.

Just by the sheer statistics of being a man, I guarantee you the majority of white women loving Black men on here have been with a more diverse group of women in every bodily and societal aspect than vice-versa, and even if that's not true I don't see the women (attracted and loving of all the world's men, presumably, if they would question someones exclusivity) going out of their way to discuss non Black men.

You would never see a White Woman start a thread claiming she feels guilty to the "White race" or "White men", but yet we have 20+ page discussion in relation to a Black man... and I'm not supposed to think that some of you are extra sensitive to how your attraction to white women is perceived.
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Best post on here, dude.
 
GQ Brotha said:
There has to be some ulterior motive of why a brotha is with a white woman, its never just LOVE, its always some stereotypical assumption.
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It's simple

They think so little about BM that it can't be about love..the WW must be after his money or his dick.

Actually loving a BM is so far beyond them they can't imagine a WW..or anybody...could have honest love for a BM.

They really tell on themselves when they go off like that.
 
xoxo said:
whatever discussion about or against Black women made on here (which is few compared to those on Black message boards) is in the context of Black women as suitable/unsuitable, desirable/undesirable partners in a relationship. Not every Black female in every aspect is being discussed. This is a prime example of blowing shit out of proportion when a Black man who likes white women says something about Black women. This also happens with threads about Black men, we can't discuss certain issues without saying not all "Black men are like that". Well, in those threads no one ever says All Black men and of course we don't mean all Black men.



and yet this poster started a Feeling Guilty About Attraction to White Women? So somebody is feeling guilty and I doubt the men on "Black love" forums go out of there way to let everyone know they are attracted to none Black women and have been with them, yet some of the Black men on her are so quick to dispel the stereotype that they are a self hating "Uncle Ruckus" type..... and proclaim white women as just one of the desirable options among all of the worlds beautiful women they equally choose from. It's fine if the BM on here are like this, but what's wrong with exclusivity?

.

Any white women who does so, speak now.

Just by the sheer statistics of being a man, I guarantee you the majority of white women loving Black men on here have been with a more diverse group of women in every bodily and societal aspect than vice-versa, and even if that's not true I don't see the women (attracted and loving of all the world's men, presumably, if they would question someones exclusivity) going out of their way to discuss non Black men.

You would never see a White Woman start a thread claiming she feels guilty to the "White race" or "White men", but yet we have 20+ page discussion in relation to a Black man... and I'm not supposed to think that some of you are extra sensitive to how your attraction to white women is perceived.
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Great post except the "you will never see a white woman start a thread claiming she feels guilty to the White race or White men". To say it will never happen is ignorant, it hasnt happened yet, but that doesnt mean it wont happen in the future.
 
cyn1988 said:
Near D.C. And 1988 isn't actually my birth year; I'm really 26. :)

Flaming, that really is the ultimate double standard to cuss you out for an IR relationship while being in one herself. And I truly hate double standards.
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Oh that's cool. Good old chocolate city. I love hanging out there. Georgetown is amazing.
 
flaminghetero said:
It's simple

They think so little about BM that it can't be about love..the WW must be after his money or his dick.

Actually loving a BM is so far beyond them they can't imagine a WW..or anybody...could have honest love for a BM.

They really tell on themselves when they go off like that.
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I have to play devils advocate on this one. Part of it probably comes from never feeling appreciated or beautiful coupled with so many of our men going to prison or dying young and when the few "good" ones go for non black women that has to sting. It has to come across as a complete rejection to everything they are especially in a culture where we covet everything opposite of them. Long silky hair light eyes and slimmer bodies, a person can't help feel rejected everywhere. Society says they are desired so much so the "good" bm want anything that looks opposite of them.

I know most bm date and marry bw but more often than not the picture of a successful happy loving bm usually comes with a sexy ww.
It won't change what I like but I can see both sides.
 
MrFantastic said:
I have to play devils advocate on this one. Part of it probably comes from never feeling appreciated or beautiful coupled with so many of our men going to prison or dying young and when the few "good" ones go for non black women that has to sting. It has to come across as a complete rejection to everything they are especially in a culture where we covet everything opposite of them. Long silky hair light eyes and slimmer bodies, a person can't help feel rejected everywhere. Society says they are desired so much so the "good" bm want anything that looks opposite of them.

I know most bm date and marry bw but more often than not the picture of a successful happy loving bm usually comes with a sexy ww.
It won't change what I like but I can see both sides.
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It's their own fault most of them are single and miserable...
 
flaminghetero said:
You will soon see for yourself...when it comes to BM/WW...there is little difference between BW and rednecks...and I'm not just saying this to be mean or even funny.

It's really spooky.

I got cussed-out for being with a WW by a sister that is married to a white guy...!

I try to avoid generalizing myself...but I can't help but call it like I see it.
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ive seen and heard about this, i have no idea how that works
 
SmoothDaddy101 said:
It's their own fault most of them are single and miserable...
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Wow some of you guys have never heard of compassion huh lol.

They make shit choices just like all people do but unfortunately for black people in general we are always defined by the worst of us and little attention is paid to the decent good hearted amongst us which btw is the MAJORITY.

Every young girl wants a bad boy its part of youth to want to be excited and be care free and a "bad boy" is the personification of that. The only difference is that black people in general are more likely forced to deal with the consequence of their bad decisions.
The stigma is teenage black mother leech on society, teenage white mother just some poor soul who made a mistake. Hell its even cute , they get a show on mtv.
It seems like everywhere they turn its one negative stereotype after the next so I can understand the hard shell and the off putting attitude, I personally won't stand for it but I do understand.
 
MrFantastic said:
I have to play devils advocate on this one. Part of it probably comes from never feeling appreciated or beautiful coupled with so many of our men going to prison or dying young and when the few "good" ones go for non black women that has to sting. It has to come across as a complete rejection to everything they are especially in a culture where we covet everything opposite of them. Long silky hair light eyes and slimmer bodies, a person can't help feel rejected everywhere. Society says they are desired so much so the "good" bm want anything that looks opposite of them.

I know most bm date and marry bw but more often than not the picture of a successful happy loving bm usually comes with a sexy ww.
It won't change what I like but I can see both sides.
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I understand what you are saying but some ubiquitously lay claim that they are of course strong black women, that don't need a man in their life.

The ironic thing is when I see a black woman, well put together, mannered in behavior and doing her thing with a white guy, I never get upset by it. I say good for them. I'm not sweating them after all so its all good to me, love is love.

I'm confident and assured enough in myself to know what I like and want and go after that.
 
MrFantastic said:
Wow some of you guys have never heard of compassion huh lol.

They make shit choices just like all people do but unfortunately for black people in general we are always defined by the worst of us and little attention is paid to the decent good hearted amongst us which btw is the MAJORITY.

Every young girl wants a bad boy its part of youth to want to be excited and be care free and a "bad boy" is the personification of that. The only difference is that black people in general are more likely forced to deal with the consequence of their bad decisions.
The stigma is teenage black mother leech on society, teenage white mother just some poor soul who made a mistake. Hell its even cute , they get a show on mtv.
It seems like everywhere they turn its one negative stereotype after the next so I can understand the hard shell and the off putting attitude, I personally won't stand for it but I do understand.
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Again, its their own fault...plus they teach their daughters the same "niggas ain't shit" poison, while they raise their sons to be scrubs.
 
GQ Brotha said:
I understand what you are saying but some ubiquitously lay claim that they are of course strong black women, that don't need a man in their life.

The ironic thing is when I see a black woman, well put together, mannered in behavior and doing her thing with a white guy, I never get upset by it. I say good for them. I'm not sweating them after all so its all good to me, love is love.

I'm confident and assured enough in myself to know what I like and want and go after that.
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Well your lucky to be enlightened my friend.
 
SmoothDaddy101 said:
Again, its their own fault...plus they teach their daughters the same "niggas ain't shit" poison, while they raise their sons to be scrubs.
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Damn nice broad brush SD lol.
Question is this every bw or the sample group constantly shoved down our throats through media because not one woman in my family nor the majority of bw I grew up with act like this fam. Sorry just my personal experience.
 
MrFantastic said:
Wow some of you guys have never heard of compassion huh lol.

They make shit choices just like all people do but unfortunately for black people in general we are always defined by the worst of us and little attention is paid to the decent good hearted amongst us which btw is the MAJORITY.

Every young girl wants a bad boy its part of youth to want to be excited and be care free and a "bad boy" is the personification of that. The only difference is that black people in general are more likely forced to deal with the consequence of their bad decisions.
The stigma is teenage black mother leech on society, teenage white mother just some poor soul who made a mistake. Hell its even cute , they get a show on mtv.
It seems like everywhere they turn its one negative stereotype after the next so I can understand the hard shell and the off putting attitude, I personally won't stand for it but I do understand.
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I'm just a stickler for personal responsibility, we all make choices in life and should be accountable for that. I'm from a West Indian culture that focused on education, improving yourself and showing respect for others.

We were driven hard educationally to achieve excellence in one's studies. When I came to America at 12 I was stunned at the way the inner city school system was, kids pushing teachers down the stairs, cursing out loud, concerned about the latest Air Jordan's on their feet. It was a culture shock for me to see that kind of behavior.

Education seemed like the last thing on the mind of these junior high and then high school kids.

All of that just rubbed me a certain way because of how I was raised.

I believe there is a right and wrong way of doing things and cannot stand disrespectful individuals.
 
MrFantastic said:
Damn nice broad brush SD lol.
Question is this every bw or the sample group constantly shoved down our throats through media because not one woman in my family nor the majority of bw I grew up with act like this fam. Sorry just my personal experience.
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Well...never mind...

Well, in your case, if I'm correct, your family isn't "African American"? As is American Born Negroes.
 
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