help..wonderful white women/parents

[Tamstrong]

I've already said so

My children have a black father and a Japanese mother. My point is two fold

1. bi-racial doesn't "acknowledge the other race" the thought is stupid and in American society this commonly only referes to black/white. And white parents thinks this somehow make them special or "more than" I have over 1,000 people on my facebook (after today it will be a bit less) and you just wouldn't image how man

"...took my bi-racial kids to the zoo today"
"...I just love my bi-racial kids"
"...my son is, 6'1 and a beautiful bi-racial boy"
"...this guy said something negative about my bi-racial child"

(these are actually status updates from just last week)....

2. white women (Paniro) and white man demanding that other's call their children "bi-racial" has got to stop.

It pisses me off when assholes have the nerve to make that demand. I don't tell them what to call their kids & they're for damn sure not going to tell me what to call mine. Yes, I am white, but my son is BLACK! I don't owe anyone an explanation & I get tired of them lecturing or arguing that I'm doing wrong by my child or...& this is my favorite..."cheating my son of his white heritage"...WTF? IMO, that is some of the STUPIDEST bullshit I've ever heard.

Ok, I get the wearing it like a badge of honour thing. That's just stupid and those status updates are ridiculous. What the hell are they trying to prove?

And when I think about it, the people I know who have mixed parentage have talked about it to me in ways like you mentioned.

It's almost like those parents push the "mixed" or "bi-racial" identification because they think not to do so takes something away from themselves. That's disturbing to me. Calling my son black doesn't take anything from me or from him.

BI-RACIAL says "two races" it does not say which races. So the idea that somehow calling a child "bi-racial" bring credit to the "other race" is silly. The term itself doesn't bring credit to any race. AND....YOU (not this is directly at you specifically)...

...up in arms because a person with an Asian father and a Black mother. Or a white mother and black father and doesn't call themselves "bi-racial" is just stupid to me.

:smt023

For those of yall that are having biracial children but refuse to acknowledge them as such and refuse to try and understand the reasons why people that identify as biracial do why not take the time to go to the source?

Who the hell do you think you are Regina? Who made you the ultimate authority on how others should identify their children? The answer to both questions is: NOBODY.

You are entitled to your personal opinions about this subject & you can call your children whatever you want & your kids can identify that way if they so please, BUT your opinion is NOT the be all & end all on this matter. Neither is the opinion of "Bi-racial Tiffany". It seems the only one around here who lacks in understanding is you.

Although your reasons for choosing to identify your children as you do doesn't make a lot of sense to me, I pass no judgement because it's your choice & I respect that. However, you have no respect for those of us who believe differently & the shit is getting old. It's stupid for you to get all bent out of shape over something that is none of your damn business.

 

[The Dark King]

It pisses me off when assholes have the nerve to make that demand. I don't tell them what to call their kids & they're for damn sure not going to tell me what to call mine. Yes, I am white, but my son is BLACK! I don't owe anyone an explanation & I get tired of them lecturing or arguing that I'm doing wrong by my child or...& this is my favorite..."cheating my son of his white heritage"...WTF? IMO, that is some of the STUPIDEST bullshit I've ever heard.



It's almost like those parents push the "mixed" or "bi-racial" identification because they think not to do so takes something away from themselves. That's disturbing to me. Calling my son black doesn't take anything from me or from him.



:smt023



Who the hell do you think you are Regina? Who made you the ultimate authority on how others should identify their children? The answer to both questions is: NOBODY.

You are entitled to your personal opinions about this subject & you can call your children whatever you want & your kids can identify that way if they so please, BUT your opinion is NOT the be all & end all on this matter. Neither is the opinion of "Bi-racial Tiffany". It seems the only one around here who lacks in understanding is you.

Although your reasons for choosing to identify your children as you do doesn't make a lot of sense to me, I pass no judgement because it's your choice & I respect that. However, you have no respect for those of us who believe differently & the shit is getting old. It's stupid for you to get all bent out of shape over something that is none of your damn business.

Don't waste your precious time my friend. She'll never get it and doesn't want to. I feel for her kids because she's going to screw them up royally. Good post btw kid.

 

[ReginaStar]

Who the hell do you think you are Regina? Who made you the ultimate authority on how others should identify their children? The answer to both questions is: NOBODY.

You are entitled to your personal opinions about this subject & you can call your children whatever you want & your kids can identify that way if they so please, BUT your opinion is NOT the be all & end all on this matter. Neither is the opinion of "Bi-racial Tiffany". It seems the only one around here who lacks in understanding is you.

Although your reasons for choosing to identify your children as you do doesn't make a lot of sense to me, I pass no judgement because it's your choice & I respect that. However, you have no respect for those of us who believe differently & the shit is getting old. It's stupid for you to get all bent out of shape over something that is none of your damn business.

My comment was not in even in regards to identifying your children as black. My comment was in regards to refusing to accept their children identifying as biracial or others identifying them as biracial. As in getting upset with the mother of their children calling their children biracial, or a stranger referring to them as biracial opposed to black, or the child themselves calling themselves biracial. I see why you took it the way you did but my intent actually had nothing at all to do with example Obama momma identifying her son as black.

 

[ReginaStar]

Don't waste your precious time my friend. She'll never get it and doesn't want to. I feel for her kids because she's going to screw them up royally. Good post btw kid.

Psychologist who KNOW what they are doing certainly disagree with you there. I'd rather take their word for it lol.

 

[The Dark King]

Psychologist who KNOW what they are doing certainly disagree with you there. I'd rather take their word for it lol.

Any problems most minorities have in regards to racial identification has little to nothing to with acknowledgement of one hertitage or lack there of but by the way peope (like you) try to single them out because of it. If we treated everyone the same despite race this shit wouldn't be an issue but unfortunately people like yourself make it an issue. Would it be nice if we could live in a world where being Irish and Jamaican meant you'd be accepted by both ? Yeah but is that likely to happen? Fuck no. White people in general are very quick to remind you that you aren't one of them.

 

[ReginaStar]

Any problems most minorities have in regards to racial identification has little to nothing to with acknowledgement of one hertitage or lack there of but by the way peope (like you) try to single them out because of it. If we treated everyone the same despite race this shit wouldn't be an issue but unfortunately people like yourself make it an issue. Would it be nice if we could live in a world where being Irish and Jamaican meant you'd be accepted by both ? Yeah but is that likely to happen? Fuck no. White people in general are very quick to remind you that you aren't one of them.

Your very problem with this issue is you limit yourself to the issue of white privilege in the US. But I have a question for your what about when the child is the product of two minority groups?
Your failing to see their is a bigger picture. Your first mistake is you refuse to notice in generalized differences between black cultures and white cultures in the US. Sure a mixed black and white kid will never been seen as white by whites although whites do NOT even have the same bond with each other letalone those who are part white in the way that minority groups do to start with. So what it is your expect of whites to do doesn't even exist among them with the exception of certain ethnic groups like Italians. But none the less a child being raised by whites in a white family tends to have a cultural connection even if it's not a said culture. You act as if blacks are fully accepting either. If that was the case then multiracial children wouldn't endure being made fun of for having a white parent, carrying their white parents accent, having traditions or commonalities that are more often associated with whites, dressing in clothing that are more associated with whites, etc. The problem of biracial adults getting in tanning beds to get darker so they are more accepted by blacks wouldn't exist if total acceptance was there.
There is going to be issues from both sides of their racial groups but apart of learning about your multiracial heritage is learning you don't have fit it with either or you can love yourself for the individual that you are and if others can't accept you for being someone they can't place in a singular box then their not worthy of you.

 

[Ymra]

Don't waste your precious time my friend. She'll never get it and doesn't want to. I feel for her kids because she's going to screw them up royally. Good post btw kid.

dude, that's why I'm done talking to "mikey" err I mean Regina.

But I think its wrong that you mentioned her children. "I feel sorry for her children" we may not agree with her but we have more than enough to do so without mentioning her children or using them to support or refute we think is right.

I hate it when its done to me, when my children are used....and I have to speak out on it when it done to someone else.

 

[Tamstrong]

Don't waste your precious time my friend. She'll never get it and doesn't want to. I feel for her kids because she's going to screw them up royally. Good post btw kid.

Thanks, Drae. I agree that she doesn't get it & doesn't want to, so I'm done with her on this subject. It's like talking to a brick wall.

I'm with Ymra about her kids, though. I may not agree with her views but like most parents she's trying to do what she thinks is best for her kids, & as another parent, I can respect that just like I'd want the same respect in return.

 

[Ymra]

It pisses me off when assholes have the nerve to make that demand. I don't tell them what to call their kids & they're for damn sure not going to tell me what to call mine. Yes, I am white, but my son is BLACK! I don't owe anyone an explanation & I get tired of them lecturing or arguing that I'm doing wrong by my child or...& this is my favorite..."cheating my son of his white heritage"...WTF? IMO, that is some of the STUPIDEST bullshit I've ever heard.



It's almost like those parents push the "mixed" or "bi-racial" identification because they think not to do so takes something away from themselves. That's disturbing to me. Calling my son black doesn't take anything from me or from him.



:smt023



Who the hell do you think you are Regina? Who made you the ultimate authority on how others should identify their children? The answer to both questions is: NOBODY.

You are entitled to your personal opinions about this subject & you can call your children whatever you want & your kids can identify that way if they so please, BUT your opinion is NOT the be all & end all on this matter. Neither is the opinion of "Bi-racial Tiffany". It seems the only one around here who lacks in understanding is you.

Although your reasons for choosing to identify your children as you do doesn't make a lot of sense to me, I pass no judgement because it's your choice & I respect that. However, you have no respect for those of us who believe differently & the shit is getting old. It's stupid for you to get all bent out of shape over something that is none of your damn business.

DAMN THIS STUPID FUCKING REP SYSTEM!!!!!

 

[The Dark King]

Thanks, Drae. I agree that she doesn't get it & doesn't want to, so I'm done with her on this subject. It's like talking to a brick wall.

I'm with Ymra about her kids, though. I may not agree with her views but like most parents she's trying to do what she thinks is best for her kids, & as another parent, I can respect that just like I'd want the same respect in return.

Fair enough you've both made convincing points but I'd like to point Ms Ra Ra Biracial kids didn't say anything to that. Interesting.
#suspect.com

 

[goodlove]

I had to read this muck again and again to figure out what the hell you were trying to say. You missed the entire point my backwards, hick country, slack jawed yokel.

Calling a child "bi-racial" in no way shape or form EMBRACES their heritage, and that is the utter stupidity of it all. White women trying to to red badge themselves and their children to be something OTHER THAN.

My children have black father and a Japanese mother. And calling them "bi-racial" by no measurable means bring credit to both heritages. In addition, white women running around complaining about how another person relates to their own children is fucking stupid.

why is it stupid ? People get bent all out of shape when they see a mix/biracial child. fine example...tiger woods. blacks in their longing to claim him told him that he is black. he in turned called himself something else. blacks got mad because he didnt refer to himself as black. he stated why should I call myself black when my mother is korean. if I say Im black then that would disown the other side of me. that would disown my mother . that would disown the korean side of me.

he had to deal with that shit because selfish black folks want to say no you are not korean you are black.

Man...this thread had nothing to do with Regina AT ALL, no anything to do with her planting the seed of "woe is me" in her child.

...but Regina is a good example and I couldn't have come up with another one.

So in a world that thrives on labels, how do you label your children? Not tryin' to be obtuse, it's a genuine question.

there you go right thurre

I'm happy you said this and not me. That ding bat is crazy.

why somebody have to be crazy because they have a different point of view ( we dont count mikey and tirkah because those mofos are crazy).

 

[goodlove]

My comment was not in even in regards to identifying your children as black. My comment was in regards to refusing to accept their children identifying as biracial or others identifying them as biracial. As in getting upset with the mother of their children calling their children biracial, or a stranger referring to them as biracial opposed to black, or the child themselves calling themselves biracial. I see why you took it the way you did but my intent actually had nothing at all to do with example Obama momma identifying her son as black.

Your very problem with this issue is you limit yourself to the issue of white privilege in the US. But I have a question for your what about when the child is the product of two minority groups?
Your failing to see their is a bigger picture. Your first mistake is you refuse to notice in generalized differences between black cultures and white cultures in the US. Sure a mixed black and white kid will never been seen as white by whites although whites do NOT even have the same bond with each other letalone those who are part white in the way that minority groups do to start with. So what it is your expect of whites to do doesn't even exist among them with the exception of certain ethnic groups like Italians. But none the less a child being raised by whites in a white family tends to have a cultural connection even if it's not a said culture. You act as if blacks are fully accepting either. If that was the case then multiracial children wouldn't endure being made fun of for having a white parent, carrying their white parents accent, having traditions or commonalities that are more often associated with whites, dressing in clothing that are more associated with whites, etc. The problem of biracial adults getting in tanning beds to get darker so they are more accepted by blacks wouldn't exist if total acceptance was there.
There is going to be issues from both sides of their racial groups but apart of learning about your multiracial heritage is learning you don't have fit it with either or you can love yourself for the individual that you are and if others can't accept you for being someone they can't place in a singular box then their not worthy of you.

dude, that's why I'm done talking to "mikey" err I mean Regina.

But I think its wrong that you mentioned her children. "I feel sorry for her children" we may not agree with her but we have more than enough to do so without mentioning her children or using them to support or refute we think is right.

I hate it when its done to me, when my children are used....and I have to speak out on it when it done to someone else.

Fair enough you've both made convincing points but I'd like to point Ms Ra Ra Biracial kids didn't say anything to that. Interesting.
#suspect.com

me wondering is if we say my child is biracial we are we getting mad at each other. the people yall should be getting mad at are the ones who are trying to put the labels on your child without your childs and your approval. as a matter of fact they should have no say so.

what we need to be talking about is how do WE as parents take control fo that shit (self-empowerment) about what our child should be. in a round about way hate it or not...it needs to be discussed so we can arm ourselves (if I have a biracial child) in how we can empower our kids to successfully navigate thru the chit. the kids didnt ask to have multiple races in their blood. with that been said yall better huddle up and help each other and stop being bitches

 

[Tamstrong]

Fair enough you've both made convincing points but I'd like to point Ms Ra Ra Biracial kids didn't say anything to that. Interesting.
#suspect.com

Hmm...

It could just be that she's done discussing it with us as we are with her, or maybe she hasn't had a chance to respond, or it could just be that she's said all she wants to say about it. Whatever it is, I'm not going to worry about it. She's entitled to her views just as we're entitled to ours. I don't really have an issue with her; I just wish she'd quit harping on the subject & stop insisting that her views about it are the final word on the matter.

 

[goodlove]

I dont read all her shit but maybe just maybe she is having a tuff as hell time dealing with that shit and maybe in her odd way she was coming here to find out what to do. Im not sure but Im just guessing and like I stated...I dont read all that biracial stuff and probably should but I dont. anyway, she probably came here looking for some advice ...I dont know but it may need to be discussed to some point in an intellectual way.

I would suggest a thread discussing "how to deal with the public trying to make you identify your kids one race versus another and how to help your kids self identify" or some shit like that

 

[orejon4]

People of mixed race were never considered white in American society nor would I want them to be. I don't believe white privilege should exist to even white people let alone any other individual group. Before emancipation mixed people were separated into a separate group from blacks or placed in the people of color group which included native americans. But since slavery existed and slave status was passed down through the mother and most mixed race children were the children of black mothers it was not a problem. Free mixed children were mostly the children of white mothers grandmothers and sometimes white men that set them free. The reason I feel alot of black folks think that people who claim mixed opposed to black is b/c in that time mixed did have an elite system where they were at a higher position in society much like apartheid in Africa. Also b/c when slavery ended so many were passing as white to escape jim crow. When slavery ended whites were in fear of all these multiracials passing into white society and destroying their little white power world so they pass the one drop rule. But this was a different time and place. A place were from birth one was taught this was the way of the system and to get it where they could fit in, a time where thinking you were superior to another person was not frowned upon. So these "they think they are better attitudes" are passed down. Also b/c we still live in a system where those who are mixed or appear mixed or still receiving advantages over black (celbs, college scholar ships, etc) (IMO another reason to separate where non mixed can have the same advantages). But those today who are mostly identifying as mixed or not doing so for some kind of advantage. They know full well that mixed does not = white privilege and today white privilege is something we frown upon. Most people are not chasing the dream of being an oppressor. Most people today identifying as mixed are simply wanting to identify with the race of their parent and family members and the culture they are raised in. They feel a connection to their heritage and no longer want to be stripped of it. One main reason why it's an issue today is b/c many are the children of white women opposed to years ago they were the children of black women and today they are being raised in white or mixed communities where in the past they were raised in black communities.

Fredrick Douglass identified a mulatto. Do you think he thought he was better than?

I have some degree of admiration for Frederick Douglass' scholarship and principles during a time where people of African descent were not allowed to read or write. That, however, is not the question. The question IS, however, the relative motivations for the 'biracial' movement and its gaining momentum.

First, I didn't say that biracial children seek to be "better" than non-mixed children. I DID, however, state that there is a desire to escape the social stigma attached to "blackness". Understandably so, as no child should be made to feel as anything better or less than anyone else. While I feel deeply for the pain some of these children may experience, I don't think they are necessarily looking to express the 'fullness' of their ethnic identity. It's not like these children are looking to learn Gaelic and Yoruba in equal measure and maintain joint membership in the IRA and African People's Revolutionary Party or something and have some asserted desire to fully represent each half of their identity in some sort of overt fashion. And I totally oppose the balkanization of society a la South Africa into distinct racial categories, because, as is evident in the South African apartheid-era example, the overriding intent AND result is to place whiteness in a privileged sphere and defined as normative while all other groups are defined in relationship to their relative "whiteness" and treated as the "other".

I don't care how children identify themselves, as it is the right of everyone to determine their identity (assuming it's not in defiance of objective fact, like calling oneself a goat or something). However, I do believe that within much of this burgeoning 'movement' is a desire on the part of some of the people to identify as anything other than black. I disagree with the black community attempting to lay sole claim to Tiger Woods as if he just got off a boat from Nigeria, but I also disagree with the whole 'Cablinasian' nonsense he attempted to justify as some sort of category. In my mind, he was what he was: a racially diverse African-American with a Thai mother. Period. I don't see why anyone (black or white) finds these such difficult things to digest. The only reason I can see for it is that they must have some sort of difficulty identifying with 'blackness' (whatever the hell that means, but I'll use it as shorthand for the purposes of this discussion).

I appreciate your passion for this topic and the obvious love you have for your children and the difficulties they may face in society. That is a very admirable characteristic and one that I think we can all agree that all parents should share. I do not believe that anyone has a right to make a child feel less than whole and the problem with their identity is society's, not the child's. However, the terms "biracial" and "multiracial" are wholly unspecific and serve to cloud discussion rather than clarify. People should be able to state freely and precisely what they are IF AND ONLY IF they want to. The propagation and fetishization of these categories is not a solution. Completely eradicating racism is.

 

[orejon4]

I dont read all her shit but maybe just maybe she is having a tuff as hell time dealing with that shit and maybe in her odd way she was coming here to find out what to do. Im not sure but Im just guessing and like I stated...I dont read all that biracial stuff and probably should but I dont. anyway, she probably came here looking for some advice ...I dont know but it may need to be discussed to some point in an intellectual way.

I would suggest a thread discussing "how to deal with the public trying to make you identify your kids one race versus another and how to help your kids self identify" or some shit like that

That's an excellent idea, goodlove.

 

[ReginaStar]

I dont read all her shit but maybe just maybe she is having a tuff as hell time dealing with that shit and maybe in her odd way she was coming here to find out what to do. Im not sure but Im just guessing and like I stated...I dont read all that biracial stuff and probably should but I dont. anyway, she probably came here looking for some advice ...I dont know but it may need to be discussed to some point in an intellectual way.

I would suggest a thread discussing "how to deal with the public trying to make you identify your kids one race versus another and how to help your kids self identify" or some shit like that

Nah I just find it an interesting topic. I done went though all the series of how should I handle it, I tried to read as many articles as I could find on what different biracial people say and about their experience. When I first had biracial kids I wasn't even aware that they were some biracial people that identified solely as black. I'm use to this argument done had it a million times on another site I'm just use to having it with black women lol. They love to tell us shit like how were incapable of raising "black" children.

And I had already commented on what was said, so I don't know what the me not responding is all about.

 

[Ymra]

I have some degree of admiration for Frederick Douglass' scholarship and principles during a time where people of African descent were not allowed to read or write. That, however, is not the question. The question IS, however, the relative motivations for the 'biracial' movement and its gaining momentum.

First, I didn't say that biracial children seek to be "better" than non-mixed children. I DID, however, state that there is a desire to escape the social stigma attached to "blackness". Understandably so, as no child should be made to feel as anything better or less than anyone else. While I feel deeply for the pain some of these children may experience, I don't think they are necessarily looking to express the 'fullness' of their ethnic identity. It's not like these children are looking to learn Gaelic and Yoruba in equal measure and maintain joint membership in the IRA and African People's Revolutionary Party or something and have some asserted desire to fully represent each half of their identity in some sort of overt fashion. And I totally oppose the balkanization of society a la South Africa into distinct racial categories, because, as is evident in the South African apartheid-era example, the overriding intent AND result is to place whiteness in a privileged sphere and defined as normative while all other groups are defined in relationship to their relative "whiteness" and treated as the "other".

I don't care how children identify themselves, as it is the right of everyone to determine their identity (assuming it's not in defiance of objective fact, like calling oneself a goat or something). However, I do believe that within much of this burgeoning 'movement' is a desire on the part of some of the people to identify as anything other than black. I disagree with the black community attempting to lay sole claim to Tiger Woods as if he just got off a boat from Nigeria, but I also disagree with the whole 'Cablinasian' nonsense he attempted to justify as some sort of category. In my mind, he was what he was: a racially diverse African-American with a Thai mother. Period. I don't see why anyone (black or white) finds these such difficult things to digest. The only reason I can see for it is that they must have some sort of difficulty identifying with 'blackness' (whatever the hell that means, but I'll use it as shorthand for the purposes of this discussion).

I appreciate your passion for this topic and the obvious love you have for your children and the difficulties they may face in society. That is a very admirable characteristic and one that I think we can all agree that all parents should share. I do not believe that anyone has a right to make a child feel less than whole and the problem with their identity is society's, not the child's. However, the terms "biracial" and "multiracial" are wholly unspecific and serve to cloud discussion rather than clarify. People should be able to state freely and precisely what they are IF AND ONLY IF they want to. The propagation and fetishization of these categories is not a solution. Completely eradicating racism is.

THIS....VERY WELL WRITTEN.......

Again the idea that "multi-racial" or "bi-racial" somehow connects two races is utterly laughable. I did enjoy your comment...

It's not like these children are looking to learn Gaelic and Yoruba in equal measure and maintain joint membership in the IRA and African People's Revolutionary Party or something and have some asserted desire to fully represent each half of their identity in some sort of overt fashion.

and this really destroys the myth of "paying hommage to both cultures" as I've already stated we study both black history and Japanese history in my home. Something real and tangible for my children to learn and understand the past of both cultures. Calling them "bi-racial" does not do that.

 

[Ymra]

wth you got a hard on for me or something? you mentioning me and i have nothing to do with this.

I enjoy fucking with you young dude........I'll grow tired of playing with my food soon enough. Relax.

...or not

...I don't care

...do I have a hard on for you? Hmm...well I don't know *Mr. T voice*: You do look mighty cute in them jeans.

 

[stiletoes]

I did not read the whole thread. How about we just call them children?