Random Conversation 2.0

Bookworm616 said:
I fail to see how that has any relevance. If it was someone in a club that I was interested in, I'd go up and talk to him no problems. If he rejected me, who cares? I'd likely never see him again.

You proposed that I ask my coworker to lunch. But in that scenario, if I tell him about my crush during lunch and he says, I'm flattered but not interested, then this is what happens:

We have to finish the lunch.
We have to drive back together.
We have to spend the afternoon sitting next to each other.

Talk about awkward.

So, I will tell him on a Friday night, so if I get the "I'm flattered, but..." speech, there are 2 days where things have a chance to go back to normal and then maybe it won't be as awkward on Monday....
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I get it, what you say, but I have to repeat myself, why do you have to tell him? It's true that this a risky step. Don't you think it's better to check out on Friday, if he treats you more like a friend or if there could be a possibility for more? I simply think that if you have to ask/talk to him, you already feel that it will not have a positive end. If you see due your rendez-vous that he is accessible for you- then you still can start to tell him that you would like to spend more time with him, because it was a fantastic evening, you've never expected. I just think it's better to feed in portions.....but whatever you do, I wish you good luck!
 
Bookworm616 said:
I fail to see how that has any relevance. If it was someone in a club that I was interested in, I'd go up and talk to him no problems. If he rejected me, who cares? I'd likely never see him again.

You proposed that I ask my coworker to lunch. But in that scenario, if I tell him about my crush during lunch and he says, I'm flattered but not interested, then this is what happens:

We have to finish the lunch.
We have to drive back together.
We have to spend the afternoon sitting next to each other.

Talk about awkward.

So, I will tell him on a Friday night, so if I get the "I'm flattered, but..." speech, there are 2 days where things have a chance to go back to normal and then maybe it won't be as awkward on Monday....
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Are you guys in the same department? Is it wise to try to do this at all if you are?

I find dating people you work with to be a sketchy area.

I would probably write it off and pursue other interests.
 
The Dark Knight said:
The relevance is that men are conditioned to deal with opposite sex rejection through out life. Like Jaisee said in an earlier post dating is like a job hunt where men fill out the applications and women do the hiring. When you have to deal with 100 NOs to get to that one yes things like what you're talking about at work don't seem as big a deal. Btw good luck this weekend.
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Thanks! And I understand where you're coming from.

christine dubois said:
I get it, what you say, but I have to repeat myself, why do you have to tell him? It's true that this a risky step. Don't you think it's better to check out on Friday, if he treats you more like a friend or if there could be a possibility for more? I simply think that if you have to ask/talk to him, you already feel that it will not have a positive end. If you see due your rendez-vous that he is accessible for you- then you still can start to tell him that you would like to spend more time with him, because it was a fantastic evening, you've never expected. I just think it's better to feed in portions.....but whatever you do, I wish you good luck!
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No, I don't have to tell him. I've given him enough signs that he should have figured it out by now. He gives me signs though, too. The fact that his friend said his name in the email leads me to believe that he's read my signs just fine, and the fact that he hasn't tried to avoid me, is a good sign.

JordanC said:
Are you guys in the same department? Is it wise to try to do this at all if you are?

I find dating people you work with to be a sketchy area.

I would probably write it off and pursue other interests.
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Those were my thoughts as well, Jordan. We work in the same department and sit next to each other.

I've tried and tried to get over this crush and it hasn't worked. But the good thing is that we've found ourselves in somewhat compromising positions in the past and we're still friends, so even if this doesn't work out, I'm confident that we're both adult enough to deal with it.
 
Compromising situations?

Bookworm616 said:
Thanks! And I understand where you're coming from.



No, I don't have to tell him. I've given him enough signs that he should have figured it out by now. He gives me signs though, too. The fact that his friend said his name in the email leads me to believe that he's read my signs just fine, and the fact that he hasn't tried to avoid me, is a good sign.



Those were my thoughts as well, Jordan. We work in the same department and sit next to each other.

I've tried and tried to get over this crush and it hasn't worked. But the good thing is that we've found ourselves in somewhat compromising positions in the past and we're still friends, so even if this doesn't work out, I'm confident that we're both adult enough to deal with it.
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The Dark Knight said:
Compromising situations?
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Caught that, did ya? LOL.

2 1/2 years ago we went to Cleveland to visit an ex-coworker friend and he got really drunk (I was drunk, too) and I flashed him. LOL.

Then a year and a half ago, I went to see a band with him that we both love, and it turned out to only be him, myself and his roommate. We both got drunk, again, and we ended up at his place.

He brought me to him and we kind of hugged and held each other for a bit. Then he pulled me into his room, gently pushed me onto his bed, then he got into bed and proceeded to pass out. I ended up sleeping in his bed with him the whole night. We were both fully clothed.

The next day I brushed it off to myself as he was just drunk and horny and I was the only available female. LOL.

Nothing like that has happened since then.
 
Bookworm616 said:
Caught that, did ya? LOL.

2 1/2 years ago we went to Cleveland to visit an ex-coworker friend and he got really drunk (I was drunk, too) and I flashed him. LOL.

Then a year and a half ago, I went to see a band with him that we both love, and it turned out to only be him, myself and his roommate. We both got drunk, again, and we ended up at his place.

He brought me to him and we kind of hugged and held each other for a bit. Then he pulled me into his room, gently pushed me onto his bed, then he got into bed and proceeded to pass out. I ended up sleeping in his bed with him the whole night. We were both fully clothed.

The next day I brushed it off to myself as he was just drunk and horny and I was the only available female. LOL.

Nothing like that has happened since then.
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Humm...If this is the same guy, it sounds more like "unfinished business" now...
 
swirlman07 said:
Humm...If this is the same guy, it sounds more like "unfinished business" now...
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The Dark Knight said:
I thought the same thing.
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Hmm...that doesn't sound promising.

When all of that happened, I didn't like him in that way. Or maybe I did, it just was too far under the surface that I didn't realize.

I'm almost tempted to just tell him so he can politely turn me down so I can get over him. That seems to be the only solution at this point.
 
The Dark Knight said:
Yeah like your worldly know it all attitude about men and family. :smt120

And you nor any of the other have ever given a credible/logical answer to if you never have to actually approach, meaning go up to someone and make the first move on nearly every attempt to meet someone, then how can you you know what it takes to approach someone. You can have all the theoretical discussions you want but like every other part of life I'd rather listen to the person with experience over the person who thinks they know what they're talking about.
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But, as I've pointed out before, while we might not know "what it takes" to approach, we know what kind of approaches work. Not only have we probably been approached far more than any individual man has approached, we TALK TO OTHER WOMEN. So we know what works not only on our own selves, but on lots of other women as well
 
Bookworm616 said:
Hmm...that doesn't sound promising.

When all of that happened, I didn't like him in that way. Or maybe I did, it just was too far under the surface that I didn't realize.

I'm almost tempted to just tell him so he can politely turn me down so I can get over him. That seems to be the only solution at this point.
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I'm not a guy (disclaimer) but if someone had shown me her tits, I would take it as a sign she likes me more than a friend. So why hasn't he acted. My suspicion, and again I don't know him, is to wonder if he isn't interested in you that way. Maybe he is happy where the relationship is now.
 
JordanC said:
I'm not a guy (disclaimer) but if someone had shown me her tits, I would take it as a sign she likes me more than a friend. So why hasn't he acted. My suspicion, and again I don't know him, is to wonder if he isn't interested in you that way. Maybe he is happy where the relationship is now.
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Cosign
 
TreePixie said:
But, as I've pointed out before, while we might not know "what it takes" to approach, we know what kind of approaches work. Not only have we probably been approached far more than any individual man has approached, we TALK TO OTHER WOMEN. So we know what works not only on our own selves, but on lots of other women as well
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First of all you know what works for you specifically but even that's subject to change based on circumstances and saying you speak to other women about it is ludacris because one thing I've noticed about people in general is what they say they like and who they swoon over is less than likely the person they will end up with. So women telling other women about what works is riduclous because you'll never have to apply it, its not something you have to try. So again speculation is worthless. I'll give you another example, would you prefer to learn fighting from a person who has fought before a person who hangs out with a bunch of spectators who enjoying watching fights, a person whointerviews fighters, or someone who has actually been in a fight?
I usually concede if I see a good point being made but you guys refuse to acknowledge there are certain arenas that you never have to deal with.
 
The Dark Knight said:
First of all you know what works for you specifically but even that's subject to change based on circumstances and saying you speak to other women about it is ludacris because one thing I've noticed about people in general is what they say they like and who they swoon over is less than likely the person they will end up with. So women telling other women about what works is riduclous because you'll never have to apply it, its not something you have to try. So again speculation is worthless. I'll give you another example, would you prefer to learn fighting from a person who has fought before a person who hangs out with a bunch of spectators who enjoying watching fights, a person whointerviews fighters, or someone who has actually been in a fight?
I usually concede if I see a good point being made but you guys refuse to acknowledge there are certain arenas that you never have to deal with.
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:::Scratching my head that you're missing the point::::
 
The Dark Knight said:
And this isn't sexist because?
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I didnt say it wasn't. See the little quotation marks there?

Mansplaining is a term used in the feminist and progressive community when guys try to explain women's experiences of their own lives to them. Like when a guy tries to tell you what cramps feel like, or what it's like to have high heels on 12 hours a day, or what it's like to live and BE a woman, and go through the experiences we have as women on a daily basis.

Because obviously, men know better than we do what works on us as charm, or to pick us op, etc. Because we're, I guess, not remotely involved in that situation - whether he succeeds or not has everything to do with his male friends, and nothing to do with how women react or view his approach.

Put in the right approach, get pussy out. We're just vending machines! :-D
 
Believe what you want but I never tried to describe your personal experience. But you keep making this about being a man and a woman when I clearly said this about having to actually approach woman and be successful in getting them to agree to hang ouy with you. I'm sure a lot of lesbians can weigh in on the topic but being that none of you are then you don't get it. Do truly not see the logic or are you just being difficult for difficults sake. You really need to let go of that feminist chip or just recognize you're amongst other progressives.

TreePixie said:
I didnt say it wasn't. See the little quotation marks there?

Mansplaining is a term used in the feminist and progressive community when guys try to explain women's experiences of their own lives to them. Like when a guy tries to tell you what cramps feel like, or what it's like to have high heels on 12 hours a day, or what it's like to live and BE a woman, and go through the experiences we have as women on a daily basis.

Because obviously, men know better than we do what works on us as charm, or to pick us op, etc. Because we're, I guess, not remotely involved in that situation - whether he succeeds or not has everything to do with his male friends, and nothing to do with how women react or view his approach.

Put in the right approach, get pussy out. We're just vending machines! :-D
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Bookworm616 said:
Hmm...that doesn't sound promising.

When all of that happened, I didn't like him in that way. Or maybe I did, it just was too far under the surface that I didn't realize.

I'm almost tempted to just tell him so he can politely turn me down so I can get over him. That seems to be the only solution at this point.
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Assuming that you weren't in New Orleans during Mardi Gras, I'd assume that you don't flash everyone. So, I still think that it sounds like an "unscratched itch", lol. What can I say, I like euphemisms.


JordanC said:
I'm not a guy (disclaimer) but if someone had shown me her tits, I would take it as a sign she likes me more than a friend. So why hasn't he acted. My suspicion, and again I don't know him, is to wonder if he isn't interested in you that way. Maybe he is happy where the relationship is now.
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I think that through the last couple of decades men have come to understand, whether by the media or accusations of sexual assault, that you should never assume anything. Given the background of drinking, there was even more reason to give pause and consider the flashing simply the actions of a tipsy woman, and not a "come on". I mean, how many times have we seen the behavior of college aged women during Spring Break celebrations who flash and strip naked on occasion, outside of the club settings.
 
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