never dated a black man, but am considering

The Dark Knight said:
No because its in the context of the site we're on. Context is a lost concept to most you isn't it lol.

If you need me to break it down feel free ask my friend.
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No it was in the random thread. Random means random. People post all kinds of shit not pertaining to ir dating. So you don't get to give yourself a pass.
 
Ymra said:
Here is my advice...

....look at a black man like any other man. Judge him on his character. Its not like we are mutants, or some rare forbidden fruit. So long as you see us as something OTHER, you will always have an issue.

your loss.
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Sin Mari said:
You can? What exactly IS her point?
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Yes. Some people thru lack of knowledge would ask. Some people are rebuffed at the unknown...meaning would they accept me....would there be cultural differences. If it wasnt then there wouldnt be any writings in psychology and educational books about cultural differences and teaching people on cultural sensitivity.

its said that BM are very forward in their approach to women. this may turn off other people in other cultures. In china (i think or some asian country or better stated eastern world) it is disrespectful for a child to look an adult in the eye. where in america its disrespectful not to do so.
 
Sin Mari said:
You can? What exactly IS her point?
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another situation is where a story a friend told me was that a friend of hers was from korea (we all live in alabama). she stated that her friend was telling her that everyone in NY is so friendly. she didnt understand why people stated NY people were men. she went there on a visit. she goes on to say she rented a car and every one was driving by waving at her (while she was saying this show was demonstrating the wave. as you may guess you could figure out she was getting the finger). people had to explain to her that was not a friendly gester. its known here that she is a slow driver but its ok here in alabama because we are not in a rush.
 
rhaynydaygirl said:
I am looking for a little help. Any advice I could really use. Thank you
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Well, let me think. Be yourself(because if we hate anything it's FAKES), If you see a black guy that you would like to talk to, go for it(alot brothas are very open to all women), Be confident(this goes for everybody men and women), Keep eye contact with him(this is to let him know you mean business), and Smile alot(there's nothing more positive to a BM than a nice bright smile from a lady).
 
JordanC said:
No it was in the random thread. Random means random. People post all kinds of shit not pertaining to ir dating. So you don't get to give yourself a pass.
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Notice how I only ask her that since Book has a reputation for no actually dating bm. Attracted to them yes but not actually dating them. Makes me curious especially in the context of this forum. And when I've asked its only been in the context of dating. Nice try though.
 
Perhaps the OP would face objection from friends and family if she were to date BM, and she wanted advice on how to deal with that. Making a choice to do something that is "out of the norm" or is different than what is expected, can make one uneasy, nervous.
 
The Dark Knight said:
Notice how I only ask her that since Book has a reputation for no actually dating bm. Attracted to them yes but not actually dating them. Makes me curious especially in the context of this forum. And when I've asked its only been in the context of dating. Nice try though.
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Who told you that? Ask bookie. Not true. Karma liked to tease her but not true.

There are guys here who have never dated a woman white, black, Mexican or other. Why dint you run them off. A lot of women have been run off for not CURRENTLY dating a bm but have previously and probably eill again. Moskvicha...kuntrygirl..can find others. So knock it off. You just run good members off.:smt021
 
jaisee said:
While we're on the subject, one pet peeve of mine is when people make it a point to mention that someone is black.

Like, "have you ever dated a BLACK man?"
"I had a BLACK customer today"

Really?? In this day and age is that still really so noteworthy?

I'm going to start doing the same thing, but for white people. Starting with the white security guard at my job when I get to the office this morning.

"Hey white Stewart! Hope you have a great day today."
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LOL! Agreed. Sorta like "lady doctor" or "female engineer"...if you're in a professional setting and not a dating bar, who cares?
 
goodlove said:
Yes. Some people thru lack of knowledge would ask. Some people are rebuffed at the unknown...meaning would they accept me....would there be cultural differences. If it wasnt then there wouldnt be any writings in psychology and educational books about cultural differences and teaching people on cultural sensitivity.

its said that BM are very forward in their approach to women. this may turn off other people in other cultures. In china (i think or some asian country or better stated eastern world) it is disrespectful for a child to look an adult in the eye.where in america its disrespectful not to do so.
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My pastor, who is Puerto Rican, made that point one Sunday about his culture.
 
chesbaygrl7 said:
My pastor, who is Puerto Rican, made that point one Sunday about his culture.
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yeah, what was his view/statment ? Im gonna guess so here I go. he probably stated that we need to try to be sensitive on why people do what they do and or learn why they do what they do so you can act accordingly. we need to be smart on how we approach things. it maybe that a white person may ask..."why do black people do A. B. and C. ? " so as that person receiving that question will have to analyzed /assessed properly because maybe they want to know so they will not offend or maybe they want to turn it into a joke and be offensive. I would try to lean toward being sensitive and trying hard to understand and/or approach properly in a positive and uplifhting manner.

chesbaygrl7 said:
Perhaps the OP would face objection from friends and family if she were to date BM, and she wanted advice on how to deal with that. Making a choice to do something that is "out of the norm" or is different than what is expected, can make one uneasy, nervous.
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you have touched on a good point. I wish the op would have elaborated on what she was talking about instead of being vague because people like me would have thought she was being an ass. that is why I followed up with maybe this or that statement.

JordanC said:
Who told you that? Ask bookie. Not true. Karma liked to tease her but not true.

There are guys here who have never dated a woman white, black, Mexican or other. Why dint you run them off. A lot of women have been run off for not CURRENTLY dating a bm but have previously and probably eill again. Moskvicha...kuntrygirl..can find others. So knock it off. You just run good members off.:smt021
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yeah it is wrong on so many levels to say that you can be part of a group because you never this or that. well particularly here. I mean really ?
 
My pastor was simply making the same point that in his culture, it is disrespectful for a child to look an adult in the eye, especially when being disciplined. Our church is diverse, with a mix of Hispanic, white and black. Non-Hispanics might interpret that lack of eye contact disrespectful, as you stated. When we are faced with behavior we consider "different" or when mixing with people from diverse cultures, it would behoove us not to judge prematurely.

If the OP had not been shot down after one post, we may have learned more about what she wanted to know. But now, it will probably remain speculation.





goodlove said:
yeah, what was his view/statment ? Im gonna guess so here I go. he probably stated that we need to try to be sensitive on why people do what they do and or learn why they do what they do so you can act accordingly. we need to be smart on how we approach things. it maybe that a white person may ask..."why do black people do A. B. and C. ? " so as that person receiving that question will have to analyzed /assessed properly because maybe they want to know so they will not offend or maybe they want to turn it into a joke and be offensive. I would try to lean toward being sensitive and trying hard to understand and/or approach properly in a positive and uplifhting manner.



you have touched on a good point. I wish the op would have elaborated on what she was talking about instead of being vague because people like me would have thought she was being an ass. that is why I followed up with maybe this or that statement.



yeah it is wrong on so many levels to say that you can be part of a group because you never this or that. well particularly here. I mean really ?
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chesbaygrl7 said:
My pastor was simply making the same point that in his culture, it is disrespectful for a child to look an adult in the eye, especially when being disciplined. Our church is diverse, with a mix of Hispanic, white and black. Non-Hispanics might interpret that lack of eye contact disrespectful, as you stated. When we are faced with behavior we consider "different" or when mixing with people from diverse cultures, it would behoove us not to judge prematurely.

If the OP had not been shot down after one post, we may have learned more about what she wanted to know. But now, it will probably remain speculation.
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exactly. I think it is a good time to responsibly talk about stuff like this. we do however need to be aware there are people who will try to mock but we have to remember too that there are some out there who want to know.
 
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goodlove said:
exactly. I think it is a good time to responsibly talk about stuff like this. we do however need to be aware there are people who will try to mock but we have to remember to that there are some out there who want to know.
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:smt023: Co-sign.
 
goodlove said:
you start. LOL
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I joined this forum for one main reason, which I never stated. I saw how some newbies were treated and decided to keep quiet until I had (hopefully) established some credibility. I realize trolls exist and people here have had their share of them. But to me, it's just common courtesy to give someone a chance to make their intentions known. Maybe they are legit and have valid questions. And what may sound like a stupid question may just be a poorly worded question.

Don't know if that's what you were looking to address or not, Goody.
 
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Why are you considering dating a black man. If you like him, date him. The color of his skin shouldn't mean anything. Unless he's Asian. LOL. I kid. I kid.
 
chesbaygrl7 said:
I joined this forum for one main reason, which I never stated. I saw how some newbies were treated and decided to keep quiet until I had (hopefullu) established some credibility. I realize trolls exist and people here have had their share of them. But to me, it's just common courtesy to give someone a chance to make their intentions known. Maybe they are legit and have valid questions. And what may sound like a stupid question may just be a poorly worded question.

Don't know if that's what you were looking to address or not, Goody.
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yeah. I get you 100%. you are so correct. sometimes people stumble over themselves and it may come off as something else. so I sometimes dont read into it as what the true intent is. I try not to jump in so quick but you can get caught up in the mob mentality sometimes.

I try not to do that. sometimes if we properly ask an assess then we ourselves end up learning something or have to rethink what our previous positions.
 
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