Overcoming Shyness.

R

romeo41

New Member
I need your help. I am a thoughtful, intelligent man. When it comes to women, I am very, very shy. It has been a problem since I was a kid. I don't have a problem having a conversation with a woman on serious matters. When it comes to dating, I feel like I am lost.

Please ladies and gents, help me.
 
romeo41 said:
I need your help. I am a thoughtful, intelligent man. When it comes to women, I am very, very shy. It has been a problem since I was a kid. I don't have a problem having a conversation with a woman on serious matters. When it comes to dating, I feel like I am lost.

Please ladies and gents, help me.
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It's okay romeo41. I have that problem as well. One good thing about it, though, is that when you meet a woman with whom you have a solid intellectual understanding, a relationship will be that much more fulfilling.
 
I am not a man but I too am shy. I read something about ways to overcome shyness and the suggestion to me was quite helpful.

It said to imagine yourself in situations and think of things you would talk about or say. The thought is that you won't get into situations where there are awkward silences and panic.

So if you know you are going to a party and will run into someone. Ahead of time think of things you will talk about or opening lines to get the conversation going. Most times if you get it going with someone it just flows. Good luck.
 
JordanC said:
I am not a man but I too am shy. I read something about ways to overcome shyness and the suggestion to me was quite helpful.

It said to imagine yourself in situations and think of things you would talk about or say. The thought is that you won't get into situations where there are awkward silences and panic.

So if you know you are going to a party and will run into someone. Ahead of time think of things you will talk about or opening lines to get the conversation going. Most times if you get it going with someone it just flows. Good luck.
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i used to be shy, i had to force myself to overcome that. i just started talking to random people, if you can do that, than u might feel less nervous saying something to the person who you do like. practice at being outgoing. ex: just yesterday a guy passes me in a hallway, and he had a tattoo sleeve, as we passes i complimented him, and just kept walking, nothing more.
 
Fake it 'til you make it. Act confident and eventually it will come.

I used to have a home business years ago (you know like the Tupperware parties) where I had to do presentations and demonstrations. One thing I noticed at oher parties is that newbies would stand up there and wring their hands and tell everyone to excuse them, this was their first time, they were so nervous... Not good. Now everyone else was sensitive to every little blunder the presenter made. So when I started, I decided not to say a word. I just did my thing like I had been doing it for years and I began to relax and have a good time and no one knew I was inexperienced. I acted confident, they thought I had my act together and eventually, I did.

Also, remember, we ladies are just people. We like to know that guys notice us and pay attention. Like Jay said, practice "noticing" and commenting in a friendly way.

You got this. ;)
 
Find some older and/or plumper to constanty gas you while you work on yourself in the gym and stack that bread. Also remember to follow your interests so you can be interesting. Follow that and you'll be bagging them in no time my friend.
 
chesbaygrl7 said:
Fake it 'til you make it. Act confident and eventually it will come.

I used to have a home business years ago (you know like the Tupperware parties) where I had to do presentations and demonstrations. One thing I noticed at oher parties is that newbies would stand up there and wring their hands and tell everyone to excuse them, this was their first time, they were so nervous... Not good. Now everyone else was sensitive to every little blunder the presenter made. So when I started, I decided not to say a word. I just did my thing like I had been doing it for years and I began to relax and have a good time and no one knew I was inexperienced. I acted confident, they thought I had my act together and eventually, I did.

Also, remember, we ladies are just people. We like to know that guys notice us and pay attention. Like Jay said, practice "noticing" and commenting in a friendly way.

You got this. ;)
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the bolded part is soooo true. i'm naturally a shy person, you'd never know it though. i tend to overcompensate for my shyness by being the loudest in the room and being friends with every person i meet
 
Real talk

I overcame it by enhancing myself. Look good, feel good. Feel good and you're comfortable.

May be a bit childish, but whatever
 
romeo41 said:
I need your help. I am a thoughtful, intelligent man. When it comes to women, I am very, very shy. It has been a problem since I was a kid. I don't have a problem having a conversation with a woman on serious matters. When it comes to dating, I feel like I am lost.

Please ladies and gents, help me.
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slap.gif


now you got the shyness out your system go handle business
 
chesbaygrl7 said:
Fake it 'til you make it. Act confident and eventually it will come.

I used to have a home business years ago (you know like the Tupperware parties) where I had to do presentations and demonstrations. One thing I noticed at oher parties is that newbies would stand up there and wring their hands and tell everyone to excuse them, this was their first time, they were so nervous... Not good. Now everyone else was sensitive to every little blunder the presenter made. So when I started, I decided not to say a word. I just did my thing like I had been doing it for years and I began to relax and have a good time and no one knew I was inexperienced. I acted confident, they thought I had my act together and eventually, I did.

Also, remember, we ladies are just people. We like to know that guys notice us and pay attention. Like Jay said, practice "noticing" and commenting in a friendly way.

You got this. ;)
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That's the best advice right there. I'm also an extremely shy person, but I typically don't let it show. I've had many jobs where being shy doesn't work...from working as a CO in a men's prison to managing c-stores & restaurants, & I overcame it by initially faking my way through it. Now, when I feel the shyness turning on in a social situation, I know how to turn it off. I do my best to be friendly & outgoing & eventually the shyness goes away.
 
Tamstrong said:
That's the best advice right there. I'm also an extremely shy person, but I typically don't let it show. I've had many jobs where being shy doesn't work...from working as a CO in a men's prison to managing c-stores & restaurants, & I overcame it by initially faking my way through it. Now, when I feel the shyness turning on in a social situation, I know how to turn it off. I do my best to be friendly & outgoing & eventually the shyness goes away.
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I don't think you faked it until you made it. You were just able to access your confidence in certain situations faster than others. Fake confidence never works people can smell it on you. Especially when it comes to women. Like I'm far more confident in a classroom or library than I am in a night club or bar by myself. With my crew that's a different story but on the rare occassions where I did try to fake it it just came out insecere and well... fake.
Being comfortable in your surroundings is the best way to exude confidence. I'm sure you might have felt like you were faking it but there's no way you'd have been successful at those things unless you exuded genuine confidence when doing it.
 
Not easy if you are shy i know this from me ..

what i think is no matter what you will read and what other people tell you
will not work if you dont try ..
 
romeo41 said:
I need your help. I am a thoughtful, intelligent man. When it comes to women, I am very, very shy. It has been a problem since I was a kid. I don't have a problem having a conversation with a woman on serious matters. When it comes to dating, I feel like I am lost.

Please ladies and gents, help me.
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Im assuming your young so heres my advice.Get drunk and start talking to women at clubs, bars, and parties. You will feel, and look like a fool at first. All I can say is you'll know when a women wants you, and then just ffing go for it.
 
MixedCalifornian said:
Im assuming your young so heres my advice.Get drunk and start talking to women at clubs, bars, and parties. You will feel, and look like a fool at first. All I can say is you'll know when a women wants you, and then just ffing go for it.
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:smt005 ??? Are you serious? LOL...First I think that girls will run away from him, because nothing is worse than a drunken guy hitting on me..
Secondly, should he be successful and find a woman, drunken the same as he is, most men have a problem with sex, when they are too drunk, what could make the problem worse..
Thirdly, if he gets used to that "drink and f*ck" behaviour, he feels even more shy, when he is sober. :drinkers:
 
I haven't read all the replies, but I'm shy sometimes too. I can be very outgoing with friends and family, but when it comes to some men, I clam up. It's funny, cause on the phone, I can be very talkative, but in person, a guy will wonder - is that the same person?
 
Inner Beauty said:
I haven't read all the replies, but I'm shy sometimes too. I can be very outgoing with friends and family, but when it comes to some men, I clam up. It's funny, cause on the phone, I can be very talkative, but in person, a guy will wonder - is that the same person?
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lol...take a drink...na, seriously. Some people or situation can intimidate..maybe you just have to accept that you are as you are and try not to think about, how you could or should be. Some men find it pretty sexy, if a woman isn't that self-confident in front of them...it shows them that they go "under your skin", what is indeed a compliment
 
christine dubois said:
lol...take a drink...na, seriously. Some people or situation can intimidate..maybe you just have to accept that you are as you are and try not to think about, how you could or should be. Some men find it pretty sexy, if a woman isn't that self-confident in front of them...it shows them that they go "under your skin", what is indeed a compliment
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You always share your great gems of wisdom, CD....

It is intimidating, even as a grown woman. Every man and situation is different. Just have to take it as it comes....
 
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