Is being possessive in a black mans 'nature'?

Thank you for such an intelligent thread, and yes it's true black men are very possessive. If you want a man who isn't so possessive, I recommend that you seek one in Northern Africa, Pakistan, or any of the Latin American countries.
 
satyr said:
Thank you for such an intelligent thread, and yes it's true black men are very possessive. If you want a man who isn't so possessive, I recommend that you seek one in Northern Africa, Pakistan, or any of the Latin American countries.
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:smt081
 
Threads like this make you miss saintaugusta. She had a gift with making stupid threads like this too. :(
 
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Yeah, possessive, violent and overly aggressive as well, you know; we are like bull elephants in musth, worse even :p
 
Looks like Alexis started a firestorm. lol I'll make a correction for her: Is being possessive in a man's nature?
 
satyr said:
Thank you for such an intelligent thread, and yes it's true black men are very possessive. If you want a man who isn't so possessive, I recommend that you seek one in Northern Africa, Pakistan, or any of the Latin American countries.
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Nicely said satyr...:smt038

I believe that whats mine is mine alone, so I guess I can call myself possessive.
If I did not love the woman she would be like all the rest... stick it and move on... Thanks but I really dont need to know your name because Im not going to remember it anyway.... I never knew that about myself until about 4 years ago when I met my current woman. Guess thats because I have never been in love before. To be truthful... I didnt believe that love was truly possible since I never felt it before.
 
To me a little jealousy and possessiveness is ok as long as it seems "healthy".
Its hard to draw the line though.
When he becomes aggressive and violent because of it, it should raise red flags and you better get out of the relationship as fast as you can.
Of course this aint no matter of race but a matter of your personality and your experiences in life.
Being overly jealous is always a sign of insecurity imo.
Either the person has low self esteem issues or trust issues.
Maybe the person got cheated on a lot before or did it so much himself/herself, that the person sees that as something inevitable.
I myself prefer to trust my partner until he prooves me wrong......if he does, then of course its ON :axe: LOL
 
I've had my fill of these backwards concepts imputing to black men some sort of troglodyte subhuman qualities when it comes to mate selection. Some guys are sexist and view women as property and some don't. By the way, the reduction of women to commodities and property of "their" men is not something that originated with black men, it is a feature of the general globalized oppression of women. If black men tend to exhibit it more, it is probably just a feature of the degree to which black people may be relatively excluded from social progress and modern developments as part of a relatively downtrodden cultural group. Italians oppress and dominate 'their' women, so do the Irish, the Japanese, the Tongans, the Polish, the Maharashtrans, the Burmese, etc.
 
Alexis89 said:
I've been seeing my guy for about 6 months and things are pretty serious for having been together for such a short time. Things have been magical for the most part, but several months in I started to see a really possessive side to him.

I expressed to him that if he was jealous of everything that it showed that he doesnt believe in me and his response was that its 'just in a black mans nature to want ownership of his woman'. In some ways I really like his dominance because i feel protected and femme and I gotta admit that its kinda hot how he refers to my tits/pussy/ass as 'his'... as long as he doesn't actually believe that.

Of course this is not true for everyone, but is this true for you?
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Bullshit, you need to reevaluate that mindset with you and that dude.

It has nothing to do with black men, but is his characteristics and apparently something you are drawn to since you say "its kinda hot"

If it works for you then more power to you, but this has nothing to do with a black man.

All over the world there are men who will kill a woman because she left him.

Look at the way women are treated in places like Afghanistan, Pakistan, parts of India, and some other Developing World Countries and you will see this is a bigger issue.

It goes to a lack of respect for the woman and her choices.
 
Mikey said:
I'm not sure because I can't speak for all BM.

However, I don't have a possessive personality. My personality is to be more individual.
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Very good point Mikey, that is exactly how I would describe myself.

Very individualistic and deal with folks as they come.

Frankly as a black man I'm shocked at the thread title.

Might as well have asked if I have a prison rap sheet and eat fried chicken and watermelons.
 
dWebPro said:
if he is jealous, hes cheating. my motto. there is no room for that in a relationship however... if a woman is in a monogamous relationship with me then yes, that ass is mine. hahahaha
just like when i tell her i love the way she puts her mouth on my manhood and how its all hers, she can do whatever she wants to it. grab it hard like its yours!
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That is something, I've observed, too. On the other hand I've also have seen cheating men that weren't jealous at all.:smt017 I'm telling you the human being is complicated:drinkers:
 
christine dubois said:
That is something, I've observed, too. On the other hand I've also have seen cheating men that weren't jealous at all.:smt017 I'm telling you the human being is complicated:drinkers:
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They will all generally have one thing in common, a deep rooted insecurity that stems from that possessiveness.

Women are property who dare not look in the wrong direction or talk to the wrong person, while I as a man get to do whatever the hell I want, is their mindset.

There is no security in that kind of a person in the long run, because at some point their insecurities will bubble over and could end very badly.

What troubles me is this the poster remarked how her boyfriend said these things and she then states as long as he doesn't actually believe that. Huh!

I think he is saying what he actually believes unless they are role playing. :)
 
orejon4 said:
I've had my fill of these backwards concepts imputing to black men some sort of troglodyte subhuman qualities when it comes to mate selection. Some guys are sexist and view women as property and some don't.

By the way, the reduction of women to commodities and property of "their" men is not something that originated with black men, it is a feature of the general globalized oppression of women. If black men tend to exhibit it more, it is probably just a feature of the degree to which black people may be relatively excluded from social progress and modern developments as part of a relatively downtrodden cultural group. Italians oppress and dominate 'their' women, so do the Irish, the Japanese, the Tongans, the Polish, the Maharashtrans, the Burmese, etc.
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Couldn't have said it any better bro.

Those characteristics by the original topic poster are found the world over in men who lack a mutual respect for women as individuals and see them instead as "Me Man, She Woman, Roar, Knocks Woman over head with a Club"

Don't lets get it twisted I'm not some simp ass mangina pushover that think women don't do wrong, but when it comes to relationships I look for women that have qualities and interests that can make for sheer passion with one another.

No person should have to be controlling in a relationship if they are secure.

I prefer to be a dude that is sophisticated, intelligent, quietly confident and let my love for my woman shine through and I'll trust her to see that.

No need to put on a front and act like some wannabe macho chump with a phony bravado exterior, but weak on the inside.
 
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Might be time to start planning your exit, stage left.
When dudes start flipping nonsense, that's never a good sign.
His behavior shouldn't be qualified by him because of his race. That's crazy talk.
 
Alright, alright. I made the mistake again. I guess I should have written 'is it in a MANS nature..' -although I was working with a direct quote FROM a black dude. Sorry guys. Obviously this is not true for everyone.. but didn't I acknowledge that to being with?

I find his explanation a little fishy as well but I guess his logic was that black men are hypersensitive and possessive in nature due to having been demoralized and robbed of things in the past.

I know that men of all cultures are possessive for all sorts of reasons but I was wondering your guys take on this issue regarding black men in general.
 
satyr said:
Thank you for such an intelligent thread, and yes it's true black men are very possessive. If you want a man who isn't so possessive, I recommend that you seek one in Northern Africa, Pakistan, or any of the Latin American countries.
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I don't get it?

I mean, i get that you're being sarcastic about the foreign countries men not being possessive and I guess if we're playing opposite day that would mean that the sentence prior indicates you believe that black men are not as such...or are?...or aren't? Hmm.

Seems like you're use stereotypes too! Rad! I'm not the only one!
 
Alexis89 said:
Alright, alright. I made the mistake again. I guess I should have written 'is it in a MANS nature..' -although I was working with a direct quote FROM a black dude. Sorry guys. Obviously this is not true for everyone.. but didn't I acknowledge that to being with?

I find his explanation a little fishy as well but I guess his logic was that black men are hypersensitive and possessive in nature due to having been demoralized and robbed of things in the past.

I know that men of all cultures are possessive for all sorts of reasons but I was wondering your guys take on this issue regarding black men in general.
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Alexis if that dude loves you, sees you as his woman, he should feel secure and comfortable in simply seeing you reciprocate that love.

If he was one way at the start of the relationship and you noticed certain characteristics coming to the surface as time goes on it should raise a red flag as far as his personality.

I love the white women I deal with, I love the passionate interplay and we can role-play and fuck the shit out of one another, hot and sweaty. :D

But I don't feel the need to ever have any ownership or control of their actions in their day to day life.

His notion of black men wanting ownership of their woman is a cop out and is just a reflection of his own personal self esteem.

Don't let that dude run a controlling game on you by coming at you from that angle. Keep that nonsense in check before it goes any further.

Being black shouldn't be a crutch for bad behavior in a relationship.

The name of the game is trust and respect, both of you should give it and expect it. That simple around this subject matter.

Maybe he isn't as bad of a guy as it comes across, but nonetheless, don't fall for the okey doke.
 
Alexis89 said:
I don't get it?

I mean, i get that you're being sarcastic about the foreign countries men not being possessive and I guess if we're playing opposite day that would mean that the sentence prior indicates you believe that black men are not as such...or are?...or aren't? Hmm.

Seems like you're use stereotypes too! Rad! I'm not the only one!
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The general gist is it shouldn't be an excuse for one's behavior towards a partner they claim to care for.

For example I can't be allowed to go up to a white person walking in the streets and punch and rob them and then claim, I'm black and that is for all the wrongs whitey done to me, so its in my nature to hate whitey. :)

Its all excuses in the end. Nothing more.
 
bmanz said:
Stereotyping? Ugh

People are people. Smh. I feel like a broken record.

I'm sure they are plenty of possessive men in every race and also several secure, non-possessive men in these groups as well.

Freakin hate stereotypes
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Now I'm REALLY about to make everyone mad.

'STEREOTYPES' EXIST.

My man plays basketball, eats fried chicken 4 days out of the week, is baptist, owns way too many pairs of Jordans, braids his hair, drinks koolaid, SMOKES BLUNTS ALL DAY, uses cocoa butter, listens to hip hop and r&b, dances well, drives a souped-up cutlass and looooves his mama. Do ALL black man own these characteristics? No. -but there are a hell of a lot more black dudes you'd catch doing this then white guys... come on!

You can either look at these things as (self perpetuated) 'stereotypes' OR as interesting aspect to a persons culture.
 
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