pettyofficerj
New Member
fuck a stallion
u mothafuckas better settle for a mule
get that patch wet
fuck a stallion
u mothafuckas better settle for a mule
get that patch wet
fuck a stallion
u mothafuckas better settle for a mule
get that patch wet
I deserve better than a mule mothafucka!
pettyofficerj
New Member
fuck a stallion
u mothafuckas better settle for a mule
get that patch wet
Are you implying that we don't deserve stallions?
As far as mules go, I'm not settling for shit...I've dealt with enough mules & jackasses as it is.
If I'm gonna have trusty steed, it's gotta be a stallion or I don't wanna ride at all.
pettyofficerj
New Member
trusty seed??
guess we know who swallows around here
LOL...I imagine a trusty STEED would have trusty SEED, you shirtless smart-ass. Besides, as mister fitness, I'm sure you understand the importance of plenty of protein in a person's diet.
trusty seed??
guess we know who swallows around here
You?
I deserve better than a mule mothafucka!
Someone is misbhaving, lol.
[YOUTUBE]r3wz9bHGjU8&has_verified=1[/YOUTUBE]
Ol'Skool Classic
Well-Known Member
Since I said I’d post a story up:
I’ll try to brake this down as simply as possible because this has a detailed set up.
Okay back in the day when I had been living here in Washington State for about two years I shared an apartment with my then best friend at the time a guy called J.P. J.P. and I became tight due to the fact we both grew up in the south. There were two cute friendly party girl types (a blonde named April & a brunette named Kyra) who were also roommates who lived in the apartment complex. We talked and interacted with these two girls in a friendly and neighborly way from time to time and nothing more. We really didn’t see them as the type of girls we would become involved with so we never tried to make any serious moves on them.
Within our circle of friends was a cool white dude named Curt who also grew up in the south and he was part of a local band that covered Soul and R&B songs and would play at various clubs and lounges around town. One long Memorial Day where the holiday fell on a Thursday and we lucked out and had the Friday off from work to make it an extended weekend and another person in our circle of friends threw a cookout at a waterfront park. There Curt tells us he and his band would be playing at a club that night. When every his band would play clubs in town we would usually get as many people in our circle to go and show love to the band by going to watch them play. Curt tells everyone he and the band will be playing at Browne’s. Everyone basically got quite and looked at him like he was crazy. The reason for this was that Browne’s was a club located in a notorious neighborhood known as The Hilltop that was infamous throughout the state for it’s high level of gang and drug activity. Needless to say the majority of folks in our circle weren’t feeling going to see and support this particular show because of the location, but because of our “Southern Boys” bond with Curt, I and J.P. decided we would go and see him and the band despite the bad locale.
Both J.P. and I each had our own rides but we opted to go to the club together in one ride and rolled up to the club in his. We stepped into the club with our guards up and got the feel for the place and tried to peep out who were the obvious ruffnecks, knuckleheads, and hoochies were so as to avoid them and any possible drama that would be sure to come from them. After we were sure we had the place peeped out we stepped to the bar and got something to drink and more or less relax and chill and wait for Curt and the band to come on. Before they went on Curt found us by the bar and chatted for a few and suggested we try to move up by the stage and dance floor area if possible so that between sets he could chill with us for a bit without having to try and hunt us down if we weren’t still by the bar. Following his suggestion we did and as we moved through the good sized crowd within the club as the DJ was playing the last record before the band would come on someone forcefully and purposely slapped me in the back. Of course the first thought in my head was that some fool was trying to start something, but as I turn to see who slapped me, standing there behind me with a big grin on her face was neighbor girl Kyra. She and April being the party girls they were would pretty much step into any club or bar as long as there was music to their liking, drinks and men no matter what race and had randomly picked Browne’s as their party spot for the night. They had gotten into the club earlier and were seated a table near the dance floor and stage. Kyra had gone to the restroom and was returning to the table when she saw me and J.P. moving up towards the stage area. She invited us to come and sit with her and April at their table. We end up hanging with the two girls for the night at their table listening to the band, bullshitting, dancing with them on a few songs. Both me and J.P. more or less had two Long Island Ice Teas each the whole time in the club, but he girls had quite a few different shots of various drinks while we were at the table (don’t know how many they had before we got to the table) and although they didn’t act or sound tipsy or drunk it was clear they both were buzzed and inhibitions were lowered. Unlike the reserved way we usually saw them at the complex, they were very flirtatious and touchy feely with us.
It is illegal for any establishment to sell alcohol between the hours of 2am and 6am in Washington State so most bars and night spots that did usually shut down at 2am. So come the time that the club is shutting down, we say good bye to Curt before we head out and make our way outside with the girls in tow. Outside their were plenty of police cars rolling around the area due to the bad reputation of the area and the fact the club was shutting down for the night and the cops were on the look out for drunk drivers. We make our way to the parking lot of the club and our cars and conversation quickly becomes interesting:
Kyra: So are you two going back to the apartment complex? If so you can come over to our apartment and we can fuck. We know neither of you have steady girlfriends. At least we haven’t seen either of you bring any girls over to your apartment in awhile. So you down?
April: Yeah, we’re horny and haven’t had in any quite a long while because we haven’t met any guy that we thought were worth fucking. But since we more or less know you two and think you’re both cute and cool, we can fuck you two rather than some random guys we don’t know.
If two women you know ever offer to fuck you and a buddy when you were not expecting to get fucked at all, just keep quiet and roll with it.
And that’s what we did. J.P. and I jump in his ride while the girls jumped in Kyra’s and headed home towards to the apartment complex. Once out of the vicinity of the club and heavy police presence Kyra starts speeding down the street with J.P. and me following but still at posted speed limit. Kyra blows through a four way stoplight intersection as the light turns red. J.P. and I are commenting on Kyra’s driving as we come up to the red light:
J.P.: Somebody must want to get broke off real bad, because ol’ girl got the lead foot like a mother fucker.
Me: Well ol’ girl need to get her foot of the gas because you saw how Five-O was rolling up by the club and guarantee you that just like on the weekends when clubs are closing, there are some of them jokers hid up on some side street waiting to catch somebody drunk or speeding.
No sooner than the words have left my mouth we see on the other side of the intersection a cop car come out of a side street that Kyra’s car has just sped by lights and sirens on and obviously going after Kyra’s speeding car. The light turns green and go across the intersection and down the street and catch up to Kyra’s car and the cop car. Both of the cars are of course pulled over to the side of the street, two cops are by the car and they are having both girls get out of the car as we get closer. Obviously one of the cops must have smelled the alcohol on Kyra’s breath when he went to find out why she was speeding to have them both get out of the car. As we roll up one cop is obviously starting to do field sobriety test on Kyra and the other cop near April is giving us the “move your black asses on” stare. Seeing as there is nothing we can do other than make it worse for the two girls or get ourselves hemmed up as well if we stop, we move our black asses on. As we head off down the street and head to the apartment I remark to J.P. “Well I guess we ain’t getting our dicks wet, huh dawg.”
I’ll try to brake this down as simply as possible because this has a detailed set up.
Okay back in the day when I had been living here in Washington State for about two years I shared an apartment with my then best friend at the time a guy called J.P. J.P. and I became tight due to the fact we both grew up in the south. There were two cute friendly party girl types (a blonde named April & a brunette named Kyra) who were also roommates who lived in the apartment complex. We talked and interacted with these two girls in a friendly and neighborly way from time to time and nothing more. We really didn’t see them as the type of girls we would become involved with so we never tried to make any serious moves on them.
Within our circle of friends was a cool white dude named Curt who also grew up in the south and he was part of a local band that covered Soul and R&B songs and would play at various clubs and lounges around town. One long Memorial Day where the holiday fell on a Thursday and we lucked out and had the Friday off from work to make it an extended weekend and another person in our circle of friends threw a cookout at a waterfront park. There Curt tells us he and his band would be playing at a club that night. When every his band would play clubs in town we would usually get as many people in our circle to go and show love to the band by going to watch them play. Curt tells everyone he and the band will be playing at Browne’s. Everyone basically got quite and looked at him like he was crazy. The reason for this was that Browne’s was a club located in a notorious neighborhood known as The Hilltop that was infamous throughout the state for it’s high level of gang and drug activity. Needless to say the majority of folks in our circle weren’t feeling going to see and support this particular show because of the location, but because of our “Southern Boys” bond with Curt, I and J.P. decided we would go and see him and the band despite the bad locale.
Both J.P. and I each had our own rides but we opted to go to the club together in one ride and rolled up to the club in his. We stepped into the club with our guards up and got the feel for the place and tried to peep out who were the obvious ruffnecks, knuckleheads, and hoochies were so as to avoid them and any possible drama that would be sure to come from them. After we were sure we had the place peeped out we stepped to the bar and got something to drink and more or less relax and chill and wait for Curt and the band to come on. Before they went on Curt found us by the bar and chatted for a few and suggested we try to move up by the stage and dance floor area if possible so that between sets he could chill with us for a bit without having to try and hunt us down if we weren’t still by the bar. Following his suggestion we did and as we moved through the good sized crowd within the club as the DJ was playing the last record before the band would come on someone forcefully and purposely slapped me in the back. Of course the first thought in my head was that some fool was trying to start something, but as I turn to see who slapped me, standing there behind me with a big grin on her face was neighbor girl Kyra. She and April being the party girls they were would pretty much step into any club or bar as long as there was music to their liking, drinks and men no matter what race and had randomly picked Browne’s as their party spot for the night. They had gotten into the club earlier and were seated a table near the dance floor and stage. Kyra had gone to the restroom and was returning to the table when she saw me and J.P. moving up towards the stage area. She invited us to come and sit with her and April at their table. We end up hanging with the two girls for the night at their table listening to the band, bullshitting, dancing with them on a few songs. Both me and J.P. more or less had two Long Island Ice Teas each the whole time in the club, but he girls had quite a few different shots of various drinks while we were at the table (don’t know how many they had before we got to the table) and although they didn’t act or sound tipsy or drunk it was clear they both were buzzed and inhibitions were lowered. Unlike the reserved way we usually saw them at the complex, they were very flirtatious and touchy feely with us.
It is illegal for any establishment to sell alcohol between the hours of 2am and 6am in Washington State so most bars and night spots that did usually shut down at 2am. So come the time that the club is shutting down, we say good bye to Curt before we head out and make our way outside with the girls in tow. Outside their were plenty of police cars rolling around the area due to the bad reputation of the area and the fact the club was shutting down for the night and the cops were on the look out for drunk drivers. We make our way to the parking lot of the club and our cars and conversation quickly becomes interesting:
Kyra: So are you two going back to the apartment complex? If so you can come over to our apartment and we can fuck. We know neither of you have steady girlfriends. At least we haven’t seen either of you bring any girls over to your apartment in awhile. So you down?
April: Yeah, we’re horny and haven’t had in any quite a long while because we haven’t met any guy that we thought were worth fucking. But since we more or less know you two and think you’re both cute and cool, we can fuck you two rather than some random guys we don’t know.
If two women you know ever offer to fuck you and a buddy when you were not expecting to get fucked at all, just keep quiet and roll with it.
And that’s what we did. J.P. and I jump in his ride while the girls jumped in Kyra’s and headed home towards to the apartment complex. Once out of the vicinity of the club and heavy police presence Kyra starts speeding down the street with J.P. and me following but still at posted speed limit. Kyra blows through a four way stoplight intersection as the light turns red. J.P. and I are commenting on Kyra’s driving as we come up to the red light:
J.P.: Somebody must want to get broke off real bad, because ol’ girl got the lead foot like a mother fucker.
Me: Well ol’ girl need to get her foot of the gas because you saw how Five-O was rolling up by the club and guarantee you that just like on the weekends when clubs are closing, there are some of them jokers hid up on some side street waiting to catch somebody drunk or speeding.
No sooner than the words have left my mouth we see on the other side of the intersection a cop car come out of a side street that Kyra’s car has just sped by lights and sirens on and obviously going after Kyra’s speeding car. The light turns green and go across the intersection and down the street and catch up to Kyra’s car and the cop car. Both of the cars are of course pulled over to the side of the street, two cops are by the car and they are having both girls get out of the car as we get closer. Obviously one of the cops must have smelled the alcohol on Kyra’s breath when he went to find out why she was speeding to have them both get out of the car. As we roll up one cop is obviously starting to do field sobriety test on Kyra and the other cop near April is giving us the “move your black asses on” stare. Seeing as there is nothing we can do other than make it worse for the two girls or get ourselves hemmed up as well if we stop, we move our black asses on. As we head off down the street and head to the apartment I remark to J.P. “Well I guess we ain’t getting our dicks wet, huh dawg.”
KENYANVISITOR
Restricted
The worst cockblockers are women-hands down!! They pretend,and often believe they're doing their GFs a favour but its actually straight out envy and bitchy competitiveness. At the end of the day guys get tired of the bullshit stop checking for them,none of them gets an orgasm and they're left to the joys of all female 'friendship' (drinking buddies) at the club.
Hmmmmm,this probably explains the twin explosion of female alcoholism and vibrator addiction in Nairobi that started 6 or 7 years ago.
Hmmmmm,this probably explains the twin explosion of female alcoholism and vibrator addiction in Nairobi that started 6 or 7 years ago.
Sir Nose
New Member
Best line from story above.
Ol'Skool Classic
Well-Known Member
Could have used that as the title if I had thought about it.
My little brother stopped by this morning for a short visit while I was working, and we got to talking about his love life and how his son is a cockblocker when it comes to his trying to date or hook up with a woman.
It's rare for my nephew not to screw up most of my brother's interactions with women. It's like he has some innate sense of when my bro is about to get laid.
The most recent incident was this weekend. My nephew (who's 11) was supposed to be staying the night at a friend's house, so my brother invited his date to his place. He said as soon as the boxers hit the floor, my nephew started banging on the front door, yelling "Dad, let me in...I know you're in there!" I asked my bro why he came home, and he said it's because he's a "cockblocking ninja" who just shows up out of nowhere to kill the mood.
He asked him what he was doing there since he was supposed to be with his friend, and his answer was that they were out riding their bikes and he wanted a drink of water. My brother wouldn't let him in the house with his date in there and told him to go back to riding his bike with his friend. Then my nephew asked (loud enough for my bro's date to hear), "do you have a hooker in there?" lmao
He finally got rid of him, but of course the mood was dead and gone by then. My poor brother is never gonna get laid again if my nephew can help it. lol
It's rare for my nephew not to screw up most of my brother's interactions with women. It's like he has some innate sense of when my bro is about to get laid.
The most recent incident was this weekend. My nephew (who's 11) was supposed to be staying the night at a friend's house, so my brother invited his date to his place. He said as soon as the boxers hit the floor, my nephew started banging on the front door, yelling "Dad, let me in...I know you're in there!" I asked my bro why he came home, and he said it's because he's a "cockblocking ninja" who just shows up out of nowhere to kill the mood.
He asked him what he was doing there since he was supposed to be with his friend, and his answer was that they were out riding their bikes and he wanted a drink of water. My brother wouldn't let him in the house with his date in there and told him to go back to riding his bike with his friend. Then my nephew asked (loud enough for my bro's date to hear), "do you have a hooker in there?" lmao
He finally got rid of him, but of course the mood was dead and gone by then. My poor brother is never gonna get laid again if my nephew can help it. lol
Inner Beauty
New Member
Yeah, that boy is something else. His mama (my brother's ex wife) trained him well. lol
Inner Beauty
New Member
GFunk
Well-Known Member
Holy shit. Kid sounds like a nightmare. "Dad, do you have a hooker in there?" Shit.