Family Rejection

great approach, Nicole! Keep up the GREAT attitude...

 

It's hard for me to say. Most of the people on the campus work part time jobs, so there isn't really much of a focus on relationships, partying, etc. I would say about 60 to 65% of the people there work so there isn't much in terms of activities and dating going on.

To the best of my ability, I would say that the majority of the girls here like a person based on who the person is, which goes beyond their race. So they are indifferent, they could be with anyone depending on who you are. The vibe I've seen from the smaller fraction of them is that they don't really like guys at all (regardless of their race).

So I'd be looking into establishing relationship(s) after college. You and I both know that we'll have to use some form of technology (Phone, Computer, Website, etc) to meet more people and create relationships.

 

I dont know if you notice but it seems that the WW catch it more times than the men do.

women (WW) have a lot more to lose or a bigger burden than the men do. they can get cut off from the family and etc.

as a BM you need to be aware of that and be str8 up about what yur intentions are so she can make a wise decision

 

absolutely, Mikey! I just don't sense the whole interracial vibe being alive & well @ Towson. I went to Morgan State, & black women HATE it they saw a BM/WW relationship. It was almost to the point of actual disgust.

Guys, PLEASE tell me something; what is it with BW gettin' so disgusted with the fact that BM are open to dating out of their race? Just curious...

 

I'm a WW and I can answer that question. It's not hard. BW are looking for a quality man just like we are. There aren't enough to go around. So when you choose to go outside your race, and they want a BM, they aren't happy to have twice the competition.

 

^^^^hmmm!!!! interesting....

.......but what i'm finding out from most of the BW that I know is that they'll complain about the BM they're with (how he's a lazy, uninspiring good-for-nothin', etc., etc., etc.), but then turn around & say "I only date BM".

If you ask me, that sounds like a major contradiction. That's not how you support your "significant other".......lol.

 

very true....

 

Can't speak for the BW you know. but my friend doesn't do that. She has been in some good relationships & some not-so-good. But the guys she dated were responsible, intelligent & hard working. They didn't all act like gentlemen, however.

 

i was almost was, but my family(black) got over it. her's never had a problem

 

:shock:

Say word.

At least you put her in check over that silliness.

 

Is my mom insinuating that black men are rarely good Christians a racist statement? I really want to know. How in the fuck would she know that? She hasn't been to black churches lately (as in NEVER). But then again, what are the statistics of unfaithfulness within the black church?

 

It is still a battle. She's racist as hell, and it makes me batshit crazy. I'd rather have her own up to it, at least, instead of always denying it and coming out with some excuse about she's just laying out the facts.

She took it as a personal attack when my last ex and I dated... she kept saying 'Why do you do this to me?' ...yeah, cause, you know, the first thing I think of when I like someone is 'How mad can I make mom over this?' Oy.

 

Huntress, I know this is your mom we're talkin' about, but you're lettin' her get you upset & bent all outta' shape. As long as you keep havin' a hard time with this, she's gonna' always feel like she has that upper-hand on you with this issue.

The bottom line is this.........you can't change somebody's mindset when they don't wanna' change it. This is an ever-changing world, and she has to either accept it, or she'll sit back and watch you have hissyfits over her issues.....


.....so, which one is it gonna' be?

 

Uh... I wasn't asking for advice. I've got it handled just fine, thanks. I was merely illustrating a point about HOW I have handled it and what my experience has been.

 

Ok, no problem. My bad...

 

SMH, you are a grown ass woman, why she feels compelled to personalize your partners in life as part of her feelings is very telling and selfish. She is living her life and has made her choices.

Should you not be afforded that luxury on every level.

I would like to think she could trust you as an adult she raised to make sound decisions about your life, instead of trying to play a guilt trip on you.

A funny thing about facts and how it changes to suit someone's agenda. In other words people tend to try and pass off their own biased opinions as facts around these issues.

Its why I try to remain as balanced and objective an individual as possible no matter how rotten to the core the views of some may be.

I tend to just keep it in perspective as their opinions for them to live and deal with. The world moves right along everyday regardless of such things.

 

Can't say that I've been "rejected" since no one knows that I'm into black men. But, I know that a lot of family and friends wouldn't be happy about it if they knew. Don't think I would be "rejected" to that degree though.

 

Do the men you date ever get upset that your family doesn't know about them? I think I'd be a little hurt if my SO kept our relationship from his family just because of the fact that I'm white. I've dated guys whose family members were less than thrilled that they were dating a WW, but I've never dated one who kept me from their family because of that. In my eyes, if he can't stand up for our relationship, what kind of relationship do we really have? I happen to come from a very open family so I'm sure it's easier for me, but if my family didnt accept my boyfriend/husband just because he's black, they'd lose their relationship with me. Sounds harsh I'm sure, but hiding him from those I love just isn't an option in my book. I'm just curious how the men in your life have handled it.

 

I haven't really had any of that yet, but if I did get any of it I would just laugh at the idiots.
No opinion matters so much to me that I will let it effect me that way.
There will always be ignorant gits in this world.
My white ex tried a little bit to do that, but only because he is fiercely jealous, and for very good reason! I just laughed him off because he's a dick.

Of course, again, I haven't had to listen to any serious rascism because of my relationship with my gorgeous black man, so I can't say for sure how I would feel and react deep inside but I would never ever allow a person that would do that know they had got to me.
I am fiercely anti-rascism, and have always brought that down on my children very hard, even way before I dated a black man. It is something I cannot stand, and will not listen to.

 

I have a white boyfriend and we're doing the "hotwife"-thingy. Never dated a black man