WW/BM Personals

I think twitter worked better for me than a personal would. It makes sense I guess I have made friends from mutual interests. I will say that not everything dude told me was completely true but he wasn't an ass either.
 
When I get back into personals, I'll go with

plentyoffish -- it's free, has chat, has a message board, and an iphone app

howaboutwe -- It's free and a great concept, and has an iphone app. It's centered on registrants suggesting interesting dates, and deciding if you want to go on that date with that person. I think it offers a "head start" on compatibility, because you're responding to mutual interests, like "how about we go to the observatory", or "how about we go to the beer garden".

Since the focus is at first on the date itself and mutual interests, I think it's a better concept for more mature people who know themselves better.

The phone apps also make searching convenient.

I think in the future, most people will meet their SO's online. Its just so convenient that if you're smart, it's the best way to go.

Protects your dignity too, in a way that "cold calls" at the supermarket or gym, or messy stuff like workplace love does not.
 
Soulthinker said:
I wonder if the webites mentioned like OKC,POFand Chemistry have WW from overseas?
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Well POF does.
I got curious and registered today.
They make you do tests and I was surprised how accurate they actually are.
I especially agree to these results:

You need someone who likes frequent physical and emotional connection like you do, but who helps keeps dependency in check in the relationship so that you two do not lose your identities as individuals.

You need someone who desires and reciprocates intimacy as much as you do.

You need someone who believes that the best kind of love grows out of a strong friendship.

Absolutely on point. :smt023
 
Interesting enough, I met someone from the site who works at eHarmony and I've learned a lot from her about how the majority of white women online are too afraid to put that they are interested in a black man.
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I learned the hard way, years ago, that you don't let just any ol' white guy know you're 'disciminating' against him in that way. It's not fear, it a total, cynical lack of trust on my part. I won't say paranoia, since that technically would mean it was an unfounded fear. It's not. I've experienced some major traumas behind that. I just put down 'does not matter' then add as many little references as I can to show where I'm coming from (and want to go). I still get plenty of white guys responding, but, oh well, it goes over their heads, but I'll hear from a more than higher percentage of bm than in the general pop. to know the strategy works. One of my clients (white) was on Match. There's no way I would divulge that info to him.

I don't date any other way. I'm rural. There's no way in hell there's anybody in this backwater I'm interested in. I'm at a point where my house is definitely not a home, my home is wherever 'he' is, whoever, wherever he is at the moment. I get on POF, run very narrow searches nationwide and have plenty of fish to pitch. I can communicate who I really am in writing, much better than I ever can in person, face-to-face. I've come real close to finding 'the one.' Thought I was home, but he lost his health and now won't let me relate to him that way anymore.

On the other hand, I had a brief interaction the other day with a guy who, after an initial text introduction, says "So I guess you have a freaky side?" I said "Um, why would you ask that??" (I have nothing whatsoever on my profile that would make him ask that). He continued "Do you? Coz I want to know how freaky you are." Told him to lose my digits. I was completely baffled until it dawned on me that the only thing that may have made him say that is because I'm white and he's black. Maybe to him, my interest in BM is freaky.
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Yeah, I've come across that too. I'm always apprehensive I'll be perceived that way and it wears on me. I've been on the blackpeoplemeet site and probably overcompensate in what I say, trying to distance myself from all that. Though I hear I'm not the only ww there, and most seem like decent ladies. Most of the guys there are pretty ordinary, at best. A good looking, intelligent 'catch' would do well there. And you certainly don't have to worry that any ww there are open to an ir relationship, LOL.

My grandparents met through a lonely hearts column during the Depression. I met my ex through a personal ad, we ran a dating service, I was one of the first people in the world writing a database to match singles. That was five years before the internet, it failed, no conduit. The idea of going out to a bar to meet men seems insane, terrifying. I want to screen people first.
 
karris said:
I just put down 'does not matter' then add as many little references as I can to show where I'm coming from (and want to go).
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Just out of curiosity, what kinds on things would you put in your profile to indicate that you're specifically looking Black men without being too direct about it? I've seen several profiles on sites like OKCupid where women have stated explicitly that they prefer Black men over anyone else but seeing as how I'm in the South that's not the norm.
 
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