I'm 5'9, and I simply don't want to have to look up at them. I'm OK if they're taller in heels. Same height is OK, but I tend to go for shorter, and end up with them between 5'6 - 5'8.
High heels are pleasure with pain... I wore my 5" heels the other night and have to commend the drunk, short man who tried to dance with me. Blame it on the over consumption of alcoholic beverages because he drunkenly fell into my body, trying to bachata with me. I politely dismissed his dance invitation and told him I was married.
Bachata isn't the move sober, much less drunk lol. That upswing on the last beat is annoying as hell. I say bring on the salsa.