Do your family/friends know?

denisemilanifan said:
Precisely! We have to live our own lives and live with the choices, I tried dating a black woman once for the sake of keeping up appearances, she was a lovely woman, but I was MISERABLE. I like what I like and am unapologetic about it. The family will adapt, the majority won't have any major issue with it I feel.
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100% had the same experience and came to the same conclusion. The ones that do it’s their problem not mine. I will continue to live and love however and whoever I want ‍♂️
 
jmoney42 said:
100% had the same experience and came to the same conclusion. The ones that do it’s their problem not mine. I will continue to live and love however and whoever I want ‍♂️
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you completely made my day with this, thank you so much :) just knowing there are men out there who will unapologetically pursue what they want and ignore everything else gives me the energy to keep doing it myself :)
 
denisemilanifan said:
So something I'm always interested in asking folks about, does your family know about your preferences? Do they suspect? Do they give you grief for it or are they accepting? Always curious to know where people are with this.

Me personally, my family certain members and friends suspect but I've never outright said it. Some have a negative opinion on it, others seem not to truly care.
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By now everyone that knows me knows what my "preferences" are lol, having been with the same (black) man for 10 years now, lived together for 7 and married for 5... and I'm not trying to hide it whatsoever. I have never gotten any grief or even a negative reaction, I would say that everyone has been largely supportive, but in reality everyone has treated my relationship or my partner any differently than it would have been if it wasn't an interracial relationship. Yes, sometimes you would see people giving you a double take or even staring but that's about it. I had a coworker who was asking me all about what it's like being with a black man and was talking about it as if it was something so extraordinary and exciting... I told her it's no different than being with any other man really... but again, these are generally positive reactions. Having said that, when I did start dating him in 2015, I was nervous as hell about telling my family about it, especially my son... and I must admit it took me longer to introduce him to my son, as well as my parents than it would have if I was dating a white guy, or to put up pictures of us in my office, but again everyone was supportive and reactions were largely positive.
 
jen14 said:
By now everyone that knows me knows what my "preferences" are lol, having been with the same (black) man for 10 years now, lived together for 7 and married for 5... and I'm not trying to hide it whatsoever. I have never gotten any grief or even a negative reaction, I would say that everyone has been largely supportive, but in reality everyone has treated my relationship or my partner any differently than it would have been if it wasn't an interracial relationship. Yes, sometimes you would see people giving you a double take or even staring but that's about it. I had a coworker who was asking me all about what it's like being with a black man and was talking about it as if it was something so extraordinary and exciting... I told her it's no different than being with any other man really... but again, these are generally positive reactions. Having said that, when I did start dating him in 2015, I was nervous as hell about telling my family about it, especially my son... and I must admit it took me longer to introduce him to my son, as well as my parents than it would have if I was dating a white guy, or to put up pictures of us in my office, but again everyone was supportive and reactions were largely positive.
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That's great. I'm always pleased to hear about people whose relationship is received as the same as any other relationship, rather than as interspecies or alien contact.
 
Im almost 31 years old so obviously my friends and family know I prefer dating black men. Aside from like 5 white guys, ive dated black men my whole life. There have been a friend or two in the past or a family member that will make not funny jokes or comments mostly behind my back. Overall though everyone close to me is accepting.
 
Xyphorr said:
My family doesn't know, because I don't tell them much about my dating love life in general, because we're somewhat distant with each other, but they wouldn't care and would be accepting if I DID tell them.
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This. My family and I aren’t distant but I also don’t tell them much either as it’s not their business. When they ask about I always respond “you’ll know when you meet her” and keep it pushing.
 
jmoney42 said:
This. My family and I aren’t distant but I also don’t tell them much either as it’s not their business. When they ask about I always respond “you’ll know when you meet her” and keep it pushing.
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My brother lives in NYC and my sister and her family lives in Atlanta, so that's what I meant by distant. We talk every other day but when my dating life comes up, I tell them I'm still having no luck because I still live in the area we grew up in and it's SLIM PICKINGS here, especially when it comes to White women lol.
 
denisemilanifan said:
Funny enough just the other day my sister told me that she doesn't see me being happy married to a black woman, and suggested that I continue dating white women lol was not expecting that, was a very sincere conversation.
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It's like I said in an earlier post, if you have a family/friend circle that can see the overall big picture in life, they shouldn't have any issue with whom you choose to date. We're all humans at the end of the day and good & bad (personalities, character traits, morals etc.) know no color/race/ethic boundaries.
 
denisemilanifan said:
So something I'm always interested in asking folks about, does your family know about your preferences? Do they suspect? Do they give you grief for it or are they accepting? Always curious to know where people are with this.

Me personally, my family certain members and friends suspect but I've never outright said it. Some have a negative opinion on it, others seem not to truly care.
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It's a mixed bag for me here. My mom and sister who I am close with know and have no issues. The rest of the family has always looked down on us to begin with so most I have not bother telling them I prefer black men and do not care as they have been judging us and saying we have problems for a lot longer than I have been dating.
 
Akane said:
It's a mixed bag for me here. My mom and sister who I am close with know and have no issues. The rest of the family has always looked down on us to begin with so most I have not bother telling them I prefer black men and do not care as they have been judging us and saying we have problems for a lot longer than I have been dating.
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Good for you, as you don't owe them an explanation. one a side note, not to be nosey but based off what you said, is it your father's side of the family whose judgemental and you don't get along with?
 
Xyphorr said:
Good for you, as you don't owe them an explanation. one a side note, not to be nosey but based off what you said, is it your father's side of the family whose judgemental and you don't get along with?
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No it is my mother's side of the family. My dad actually was never part of the picture but that is another story. No my mom was always a very independent person and worked and earned her own way through life which did not sit well with my grandma who thought my mom's place was as a wife. Then my mom had two kids out of wedlock and both men took off and my mom just did it herself which of course brought about more bad comments. Toss in the fact my mom was not super strict with us and open as well and it did not sit well with a lot of the rest of the family.
 
Akane said:
No it is my mother's side of the family. My dad actually was never part of the picture but that is another story. No my mom was always a very independent person and worked and earned her own way through life which did not sit well with my grandma who thought my mom's place was as a wife. Then my mom had two kids out of wedlock and both men took off and my mom just did it herself which of course brought about more bad comments. Toss in the fact my mom was not super strict with us and open as well and it did not sit well with a lot of the rest of the family.
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I'm glad you are so confident in yourself, but I'm sorry for the friction it has caused, it's never fun to have folks who feel to be against what brings you joy and you being yourself.
 
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