13-YEAR-OLD COMMITS SUICIDE AFTER FATHER PUBLICLY SHAMES HER

Taking this to another direction....spanking

orejon4 said:
I don't think Petty was minimizing the trauma for the girl, but more talking about from a guy's perspective it doesn't look as intense as things like being beaten up on camera, etc. For a guy, getting your head shaved is definitely not as traumatic. I think it was over the top for the father to do that, but also think there were underlying issues driving her beyond the haircut. Women throughout history have had to endure head shaving as some sort of "ultimate punishment". In disciplining a child, I think the key is not acting in anger, so that you're teaching the child, not simply retaliating.
Click to expand...
 
orejon4 said:
I don't think Petty was minimizing the trauma for the girl, but more talking about from a guy's perspective it doesn't look as intense as things like being beaten up on camera, etc. For a guy, getting your head shaved is definitely not as traumatic. I think it was over the top for the father to do that, but also think there were underlying issues driving her beyond the haircut. Women throughout history have had to endure head shaving as some sort of "ultimate punishment". In disciplining a child, I think the key is not acting in anger, so that you're teaching the child, not simply retaliating.
Click to expand...

I understand what you are saying, but a punishment is for me i.e.
-taking away the iphone for a certain time
-cancel a party or freetime in general
-some jobs to do
but public shaming, humiliating is what we call - mobbing, I think in english you call it bullying. The only sense why someone is doing that is the sadistic will of a person, mostly combined with jealousy. You also have seen that kind of behaiour from movies during a rape. If you have a movie or pictures (an evidence) you can keep your power over the other person and go on with your humiliation. The time frame is much bigger and the joy over the victims tears is longer.
The father isn't only an immature man, he is sadistic and jealous, too.
And what the friends said about the abusive behaviour is imaginable
 
goodlove said:
Yeah man....thats so true.

I dont care how old she gets....she my baby
Click to expand...

My son turned 13 and I still wince if I see him slip and fall.

christine dubois said:
I understand what you are saying, but a punishment is for me i.e.
-taking away the iphone for a certain time
-cancel a party or freetime in general
-some jobs to do
but public shaming, humiliating is what we call - mobbing, I think in english you call it bullying. The only sense why someone is doing that is the sadistic will of a person, mostly combined with jealousy. You also have seen that kind of behaiour from movies during a rape. If you have a movie or pictures (an evidence) you can keep your power over the other person and go on with your humiliation. The time frame is much bigger and the joy over the victims tears is longer.
The father isn't only an immature man, he is sadistic and jealous, too.
And what the friends said about the abusive behaviour is imaginable
Click to expand...

I agree. That's why I think the key to handling any child's bad behavior is not acting in anger. Otherwise, you're just retaliating, which is about the parent's sadism.

That being said, I had a quo vadis (I know I'm dating myself with that term) down to the scalp once as a kid and I felt like Nosferatu. THAT was humiliating.
 
orejon4 said:
My son turned 13 and I still wince if I see him slip and fall.



I agree. That's why I think the key to handling any child's bad behavior is not acting in anger. Otherwise, you're just retaliating, which is about the parent's sadism.

That being said, I had a quo vadis (I know I'm dating myself with that term) down to the scalp once as a kid and I felt like Nosferatu. THAT was humiliating.
Click to expand...

Yeah...u really have to pull a andy griffith move to parent
 
goodlove said:
Yeah...u really have to pull a andy griffith move to parent
Click to expand...


I don't spank. I have a 26 year old son, 23 year old daughter, 12 year old son, and 9 year old daughter. Very different personalities, all very strong willed. There are always better ways than spanking.

The key to parenting is that it begins with day one, takes modeling good behavior, and consistency. We have to remember we are their parents not their friends.

Most problems I see come from those who are not consistent, have the "do as I say, not as I do" mentality, and are not looking at the bigger picture. People are too much about immediate gratification. They need to remember that they are raising adults. If you have a free for all and do things like thinking/saying how cute it is that your lil 4 year old is sassy and then when they are still doing it a few years later and then suddenly you are going to start trying to discipline...you have problems.

Most things can be traced back to earlier times when the parent wasn't parenting. It just creates bigger problems in the long run.

It's sortof like years ago I had a Great Dane puppy. I had always had small dogs before that. So the puppy was cute and I let him climb in my lap, up on the couch, etc. Of course the puppy grew REALLY fast and suddenly this HUGE dog was trying to climb in people's laps, up on the furniture etc. I could have gotten all mad at him, smacked him, etc. But come on now - it was really MY doing. So instead, I had to figure out ways to retrain him (by retraining myself in the process).
 
WEll stated

KinCA said:
I don't spank. I have a 26 year old son, 23 year old daughter, 12 year old son, and 9 year old daughter. Very different personalities, all very strong willed. There are always better ways than spanking.

The key to parenting is that it begins with day one, takes modeling good behavior, and consistency. We have to remember we are their parents not their friends.

Most problems I see come from those who are not consistent, have the "do as I say, not as I do" mentality, and are not looking at the bigger picture. People are too much about immediate gratification. They need to remember that they are raising adults. If you have a free for all and do things like thinking/saying how cute it is that your lil 4 year old is sassy and then when they are still doing it a few years later and then suddenly you are going to start trying to discipline...you have problems.

Most things can be traced back to earlier times when the parent wasn't parenting. It just creates bigger problems in the long run.

It's sortof like years ago I had a Great Dane puppy. I had always had small dogs before that. So the puppy was cute and I let him climb in my lap, up on the couch, etc. Of course the puppy grew REALLY fast and suddenly this HUGE dog was trying to climb in people's laps, up on the furniture etc. I could have gotten all mad at him, smacked him, etc. But come on now - it was really MY doing. So instead, I had to figure out ways to retrain him (by retraining myself in the process).
Click to expand...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom